Posting Safety at VisaJourney

[mmb 0]

To those that do PM for immigration advice

The risks

No single member has all the correct information. No single member is knowledgeable or has experiences in all areas of immigration. By relying on a single member in a PM for an answer to a immigration issue you risk getting wrong information that can't be corrected by other members like it would if posted in the forums. Immigration can change like the wind, policies/rules change, information upgraded, etc. Other members may also have direct experiences that differ than what is commonly known. Consulates also vary in their requirements.

When questions are asked in PM's and answers given it also takes away the opportunity for others to learn. This is afterall a site for sharing information and experiences.

Questions you should ask yourself

How important is your immigration process?

Who is responsible for my immigration process?

Should I rely on one members opinion given as advice in a PM?

To those that feel they are ridiculed....This is a message board, other members cannot hurt you. They are words. Wade through the ####### that is often thrown around, until you get to the posts that are helpful and that do not judge. You OWE that to yourself. By reverting to PMs you HIGHLY RISK misinformation that CAN'T be corrected, which CAN screw up your case. What is more important....avoiding some hurtful remarks or finding the information that WILL help you.

Speaking for myself I prefer to ask and answer in public, that way if I am given wrong information or if I miss something in an answer there is a good chance it will be corrected.

I feel it is important though that some people may not feel comfortable sharing information in public, when I asked a question way back about my adoption certificate I had many private replies from people who didn't want to state the fact of their adoption in public, I wouldn't slam all private replies.

[aussiewench 9]

To those that do PM for immigration advice

The risks

No single member has all the correct information. No single member is knowledgeable or has experiences in all areas of immigration. By relying on a single member in a PM for an answer to a immigration issue you risk getting wrong information that can't be corrected by other members like it would if posted in the forums. Immigration can change like the wind, policies/rules change, information upgraded, etc. Other members may also have direct experiences that differ than what is commonly known. Consulates also vary in their requirements.

When questions are asked in PM's and answers given it also takes away the opportunity for others to learn. This is afterall a site for sharing information and experiences.

Questions you should ask yourself

How important is your immigration process?

Who is responsible for my immigration process?

Should I rely on one members opinion given as advice in a PM?

To those that feel they are ridiculed....This is a message board, other members cannot hurt you. They are words. Wade through the ####### that is often thrown around, until you get to the posts that are helpful and that do not judge. You OWE that to yourself. By reverting to PMs you HIGHLY RISK misinformation that CAN'T be corrected, which CAN screw up your case. What is more important....avoiding some hurtful remarks or finding the information that WILL help you.

Speaking for myself I prefer to ask and answer in public, that way if I am given wrong information or if I miss something in an answer there is a good chance it will be corrected.

I feel it is important though that some people may not feel comfortable sharing information in public, when I asked a question way back about my adoption certificate I had many private replies from people who didn't want to state the fact of their adoption in public, I wouldn't slam all private replies.

I do agree. However I doubt most PM's fall into that category. e.g. I receive PM's from members who have never posted as much as a hello on VJ and ask the normal run of the mill immigration questions that would be best served, not only to themselves but other members, by being asked in the forums.

[meauxna 15]

Timely reminder time!

[rebeccajo 14]

And now folks, here's a flashback from the past!

*bump*

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

In a thread earlier today, someone posted this:

Already I have chosen the people I would rather ask information from via personal message rather than post.

It caused me to think, really this is not such a good idea. It's my personal policy to not discuss immigration matters in private message or email, and I really recommend that people *seeking* information not do so in private.

Why? Discussion groups like Visa Journey are a collection of our experiences. Sometimes we get the info wrong when we're passing it onto each other or information changes. By posting our questions and answers in public, bad info can be corrected, and good info can be reaffirmed.

Also, someone coming along after is *sure* to have the same question. Often, unheard lurkers benefit greatly from the open exchange of information.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Yes it is a good policy. I sometimes make errors which are immediately corrected on the public forums.

[Sinergy 3]

I miss the ppl from this thread....they gave good visa info and worked together....they were good ppl, too bad most of them left

[Welshcookie 17]

I miss the ppl from this thread....they gave good visa info and worked together....they were good ppl, too bad most of them left

I agree. Tara.

[Jenn! 918]

Off-topic posts have been removed.

This is an important point, let's please not let it be lost.

[mightymints 0]

I agree. This forum has corrected all the incorect rumours I have heard elsewhere, and has helped us with doingit ourself. Our I-129F Package is going off today . SCARY!!

[corinne from oz 0]

Why are people "afraid" to ask questions? I just don't get that. This is an anonymous forum. What do you care if someone attacks you for asking a stupid question? Chances are, at least one person will respond with a good answer. So ignore the "arrogant veterans" and get your info.

I agree Jenn3539. This is an anonymous posting, so I don't know why people get so touchy about some critiscism. I can say from my experience on VJ, the ones who have encountered critiscism, sometimes need to hear it because what they were thinking of doing was wrong, illegal or outright ridiculous. Perhaps some people cannot handle the truth.

However, I believe that posting in public is fantastic. I always get lots of advice but usually you can tell when the majority are saying something it is probably accurate.

Also, I had spoken to many immi attorneys before we filed (first consulation was always free!) and I can say that they are full of #######! We saved at least $7000 USD by doing it ourselves. The only reason I was considering an attorney was because I didn't think I would have time to go through and read all the info, but it was actually very easy with the help of the VJers and VJ forums, guides, calls to NVC, USCIS website etc.

[venusfire503 54]

This is an anonymous posting, so I don't know why people get so touchy about some critiscism. I can say from my experience on VJ, the ones who have encountered critiscism, sometimes need to hear it because what they were thinking of doing was wrong, illegal or outright ridiculous. Perhaps some people cannot handle the truth.

That's not always true. Maybe sometimes the people who have received criticism have 'deserved' it, at least according to some. But not everyone who gets criticized was doing anything "wrong, illegal or outright ridiculous". I had to ask last year about the effect a false abuse allegation would have on my husband's status, especially when we would file to remove conditions. Thank God (literally) that he was cleared, but before he was (which took several months), our lives were hell. He did nothing wrong, I did nothing wrong, but we were both terrified that he would end up in jail and/or deported. I also believe if it happened, that my ex would use the opportunity to take my children away from me (which he tried to do anyway, based on the allegations even after they were declared false). So there I was, afraid of losing my husband, my children, and all my money (to legal fees), and then probably my house... As you could imagine, I wasn't exactly ready for the attacks I received when posting. Some people accused me of trying to cover for my husband, assuming (like many people) that anyone who gets accused 'must' be guilty. I had someone else accuse me of just trying to get rid of my husband because I must have gotten bored with him.

So yeah, this is anonymous, and yeah, no one can physically hurt anyone here. But to beat someone up verbally when they're down CAN 'hurt' them.

My ex used to tell me I was crazy, worthless, etc. Not everyone is lucky enough to have either had a life that didn't hurt them emotionally or a strong enough constitution to overcome whatever they did endure. I've definitely come a long way since my divorce, but believe me, almost 20 years of being told how worthless I was did take a toll. And some people get it from their parents, too, which is unavoidable. You don't always know what the poster is going through at the time.

I still post sometimes. But I can understand why some people might not want to. Yes, I also understand there are emotional risks to posting. I understand that some people aren't as tolerant as others. I understand that good advice might be lost because someone is too timid to post. I also realize that even the advice given publicly on the forum isn't 100% guaranteed either.

I appreciate all the people who do their best to be understanding, and not be rude. No, we don't have to sugarcoat things, but there are always more gentle and harsher ways to phrase things. Even if we think someone is being a real dumba##, it doesn't hurt to say what we have to say a little more neutrally (maybe they're being misunderstood in some cases). Remember, too, that some people who ARE being jerks really LOVE the attention they get by stirring others up. Why make them happy by obliging?

I'm not trying to upset people - just show them the 'other' side of the story, at least in my case.

Thanks for reading.

venusfire

Edited April 9, 2009 by venusfire503