Posting Safety at VisaJourney

[meauxna 15]

Time for a bump!

[Welshcookie 17]

omg....I killed another thread

[bebop + rocksteady 0]

I agree, if someone PMs me asking advice, I tell them to read the guides and then ask any questions they have in the public forum. Not only do I not feel confident in my own knowledge to be the only responder, but I think it's just a better idea to get a range of experiences and advice from a range of people.

Cass (bebop the great)

Edited September 28, 2006 by bebop + rocksteady

[Jasman0717 9]

With the knowledge and help here at VJ I was able to get Claudeth's visa in a little over 3 1/2 months. We did have to wait another month because the embassy lost her German police translation but I am sure that without VJ we probably would still be waiting.

[Krikit 1,164]

I hope this does not come across as harsh but...

I have PM'd certain people after doing my own research on questions which I prefer to remain personal. Their very informative replies have been helpful and I am grateful to them. It is up to me to perform due diligence and either confirm or deny the information through official channels. IF I see the same question -- or erroneous information -- posted, I can then, knowledgeably, respond through personal experience.

I have seen (and been a victim of) people jumping to wrong conclusions; ridiculing or being openly rude to the OP; and generally taking the original thread completely off topic and reducing it into a mud-slinging match. Rude and judgemental responses formed without knowledge of the background of the situation and abilities/disabilities of the poster is certainly off-putting for some. In a forum where the only method of communication is through the written word, it is extremely difficult to convey the subtle nuances which would be picked up were the question to be posed in person. (facial expressions, body language, tone) It is even more of a challenge when English is not the native tongue.

I do not believe one-rule-fits-all and everyone should conform. Each and every one of us have different life experiences and abilities which have helped form us into the people we are today. For some, putting themselves at risk of ridicule is not a risk worth taking.

[William33 110]

I agree, no individual on this board is all knowing. Although, at least 3 are getting there (Aussie, meauxna and Yodrak)!!

Clearly, the collective responses in an open thread will yield the best advice to choose from.

If someone makes a mistake, someone else generally makes the correction. You will not get that "double check" in a PM.

Due diligence is key to your case, as you are ultimately responsible for it's outcome.

Let the collective VJ community offer the advice and you choose the best course of action.

[mozplay 29]

shameless bump

[ready4ONE 5,400]

Excellent points! I recently got a private message asking for help, and included in my response suggestions, that posting to the public forum would be wise, as my suggestions could benefit from view by others more experienced in the process. And even a simply typo could send someone in the wrong direction.

This is a fantastic forum, and I hope everyone receives the amount of help and support I feel like I have gotten out of it!

[michellek1976 0]

I agree an open forum can yield more advice from more experience.

However, I have seen some OPs get torn to shreads when asking a question on open forum. Some people want the personal details and well intended advice gets railroaded by personal opinions, insults and scandal about a couple's situation.

A recent example: a man was asking if his fiance's K1 visa could be extended because she wasn't ready to marry. He received pages of 'advice' to send her a## back to where she came from. He was not asking for speculation on the strength of their relationship, he was asking for advice of their legal options.

So perhaps we should also include a note in this thread that speculation and gossip should not be offered unless asked for.

[no name 1]

I agree an open forum can yield more advice from more experience.

However, I have seen some OPs get torn to shreads when asking a question on open forum. Some people want the personal details and well intended advice gets railroaded by personal opinions, insults and scandal about a couple's situation.

A recent example: a man was asking if his fiance's K1 visa could be extended because she wasn't ready to marry. He received pages of 'advice' to send her a## back to where she came from. He was not asking for speculation on the strength of their relationship, he was asking for advice of their legal options.

So perhaps we should also include a note in this thread that speculation and gossip should not be offered unless asked for.

I hear you. but people will judge, they do anywhere in the world.

We can't sugarcoat things (immigration is a tough process) but some decency would be good. I saw a guy post about applying for his 4th wife & I'm sorry, but that will be judged! (And rightly so)

[mrsushi66 0]

IMO, it is not the medium or the source of the information but what the person does with that information. I dont care how knowledgable someone is they can still get it wrong and while posting in an open forum can yeild more responses therefore giving your a higher level of confidence that the information is accurate it can still be wrong, albeit less likely.

My approach is to listen to what people advice and then look at that advice in the contect of the process I am working with. In this case immigration. So when I read something here I do not assume it is right I go to the authoritative source and confirm it.

Again IMHO, if someone takes the advice offered here in the forum and blindly uses it without going to the USIC website to verify or spend 20 minutes on the phone to make sure they got it right, it is their own fault not the person who gave the advice. Now having said that it is everyones responsability to post what they believe to be the truth and post it accurately but as the saying goes we are all human. It is all about your perspective.

just my opinion for what it is worth.

Paul

[Lewis 0]

Why are people "afraid" to ask questions? I just don't get that. This is an anonymous forum. What do you care if someone attacks you for asking a stupid question? Chances are, at least one person will respond with a good answer. So ignore the "arrogant veterans" and get your info.

Yeah, you are right! Asking and finding answers to questions of all kinds is what makes VJ what it is. Most people here are quite helpful and polite. There's always a chance of a flameup no matter what you post.

[mrsushi66 0]

I hear you. but people will judge, they do anywhere in the world.

We can't sugarcoat things (immigration is a tough process) but some decency would be good. I saw a guy post about applying for his 4th wife & I'm sorry, but that will be judged! (And rightly so)

Someone once told me the assumption is the mother of all fuster clucks.

You may feel everyone judges and maybe you are right but it is the degree to which they judge and the manner in which they present it. If by sugarcoat you mean tact than I think you are dead wrong, especially when dealing with immigration. After all, if you judge someone and they are from a completely different culture than you are judging them based on your culture and that I would judge that as being culturally arrogant. But just my opinion.

Paul

[no name 1]

You may feel everyone judges and maybe you are right but it is the degree to which they judge and the manner in which they present it. If by sugarcoat you mean tact than I think you are dead wrong, especially when dealing with immigration. After all, if you judge someone and they are from a completely different culture than you are judging them based on your culture and that I would judge that as being culturally arrogant. But just my opinion.

Paul

Sugarcoat does not mean tact, it means reality. And sometimes that's harsh.

4 wives is not a cultural judgment! It's called abuse of the K1 visa.

[mrsushi66 0]

You may feel everyone judges and maybe you are right but it is the degree to which they judge and the manner in which they present it. If by sugarcoat you mean tact than I think you are dead wrong, especially when dealing with immigration. After all, if you judge someone and they are from a completely different culture than you are judging them based on your culture and that I would judge that as being culturally arrogant. But just my opinion.

Paul

Sugarcoat does not mean tact, it means reality. And sometimes that's harsh.

4 wives is not a cultural judgment! It's called abuse of the K1 visa.

Guess that is what makes the world the way it is. While you are so sure you know all the facts I tend to be cautiously optomistic until I know something that says to me one way or the other.