Putting your life on hold and dealing with feeling hopeless

[mbssss 108]

Sorry if this is the wrong forum for this!

 

Is anyone else feeling really hopeless and almost depressed while going through this process? I am obviously incredibly grateful to be able to live with my husband while going through this process but I am used to always doing something in terms of studies and/or work and just having a consistent routine.

Now, I'm just at home all day unable to do anything and Covid is obviously not helping. We are living with my husbands parents temporarily as we want to wait until I can work to buy a house since it will be easier and this is also really stressing me out as I feel like I have no freedom or privacy.

I've been trying to get into new hobbies like reading, knitting etc but every week with no biometrics is just making me feel more and more hopeless even though I know that it will come at some point.  Once I get my EAD I feel like I will feel better as I can work and we can move out but until then, I am simply not feeling that great. 

 

How are the rest of you dealing with basically putting your life on hold for months? 

[TBoneTX 45,309]

This is hard, but it will end.

Every new day when we're blessed to wake up, we get a "do-over."  Tell yourself this.

Learn or read something new, do violent physical exercise to blow off stress, etc.

 

Maybe try this:  designate one room, or corner of a room, as a place to feel sorry for yourself.

Then, handle it like a dog would:  if you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it* and walk away.

       *figuratively, if your "stress place" isn't a bathroom

1 hour ago, mbssss said:

I know that it will come at some point

You're already accomplishing the first half of the advice just above.

[H.Angy 51]

What job do you aim for ?

[Ed&Midori1031 330]

On 2/1/2021 at 10:56 AM, mbssss said:

Sorry if this is the wrong forum for this!

 

Is anyone else feeling really hopeless and almost depressed while going through this process? I am obviously incredibly grateful to be able to live with my husband while going through this process but I am used to always doing something in terms of studies and/or work and just having a consistent routine.

Now, I'm just at home all day unable to do anything and Covid is obviously not helping. We are living with my husbands parents temporarily as we want to wait until I can work to buy a house since it will be easier and this is also really stressing me out as I feel like I have no freedom or privacy.

I've been trying to get into new hobbies like reading, knitting etc but every week with no biometrics is just making me feel more and more hopeless even though I know that it will come at some point.  Once I get my EAD I feel like I will feel better as I can work and we can move out but until then, I am simply not feeling that great. 

 

How are the rest of you dealing with basically putting your life on hold for months? 

My wife is going through the same thing right now.  It has been a roller coaster ride of emotions.  With covid, it is hard for her to find a job, but she does happen to have a job interview for tomorrow

 

When my wife first got here in 2018, it was really sad to watch her just sit around the house, worrying about things, like her family back home in Brazil, and trying to find work, even after getting her green card.  I tried to get her more involved with some local Brazilians to make sure feel a little more comfortable, but even that didn't help.  

 

When we moved to Japan last year (it's actually where we met)  she became a better person.  Mainly because she was back in Japan, but she found a job and was able to do more.  Unfortunately it was only a short stay, and now we've been back I  the U.S. since last Auguat. And now it seems like things went back down hill again.  Having no routine, no family or friends around does make her feel hopeless.  It even puts strain on us.  

 

I do my best to try and make her feel that she's not alone and has my support.  I try and take her to places to visit to get her mind off things, or we do some small simple routines at home.  We try and not allow stress to get in the way, and try to encourage her that this isn't forever, things will happen when the timing is right.  

 

Making a long story short:  I just try and show her all my support and love, get her involved in small activities and in the community, and make her feel comfortable here.  Sorry for such a long story, but hope it helps a little. 

[mbssss 108]

On 2/3/2021 at 12:08 AM, H.Angy said:

What job do you aim for ?

I have a degree in Environmental Science with a focus on planning and spatial analysis so I'd love something in that realm and there's plenty of jobs like that around me so as soon as I get my EAD I will start applying. Hopefully sooner rather than later 🤞

[mbssss 108]

On 2/1/2021 at 3:33 PM, TBoneTX said:

This is hard, but it will end.

Every new day when we're blessed to wake up, we get a "do-over."  Tell yourself this.

Learn or read something new, do violent physical exercise to blow off stress, etc.

 

Maybe try this:  designate one room, or corner of a room, as a place to feel sorry for yourself.

Then, handle it like a dog would:  if you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it* and walk away.

       *figuratively, if your "stress place" isn't a bathroom

You're already accomplishing the first half of the advice just above.

Love this advice and I will try it out. Thank you so much!

I guess now is the perfect time to do the things I usually don't have time for like working out so looking at it more positively would probably do me good as well. 

[mbssss 108]

On 2/3/2021 at 1:40 AM, Ed&Midori1031 said:

My wife is going through the same thing right now.  It has been a roller coaster ride of emotions.  With covid, it is hard for her to find a job, but she does happen to have a job interview for tomorrow

 

When my wife first got here in 2018, it was really sad to watch her just sit around the house, worrying about things, like her family back home in Brazil, and trying to find work, even after getting her green card.  I tried to get her more involved with some local Brazilians to make sure feel a little more comfortable, but even that didn't help.  

 

When we moved to Japan last year (it's actually where we met)  she became a better person.  Mainly because she was back in Japan, but she found a job and was able to do more.  Unfortunately it was only a short stay, and now we've been back I  the U.S. since last Auguat. And now it seems like things went back down hill again.  Having no routine, no family or friends around does make her feel hopeless.  It even puts strain on us.  

 

I do my best to try and make her feel that she's not alone and has my support.  I try and take her to places to visit to get her mind off things, or we do some small simple routines at home.  We try and not allow stress to get in the way, and try to encourage her that this isn't forever, things will happen when the timing is right.  

 

Making a long story short:  I just try and show her all my support and love, get her involved in small activities and in the community, and make her feel comfortable here.  Sorry for such a long story, but hope it helps a little. 

It's relieving to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this. I feel the exact same way. It is difficult since it is such a big change in most cases and getting used to a new place while not being able to work and be around people does not make that easy. My husband is being very supportive a well and we are actually going to start hiking on the weekends so that I have something to look forward too. It is one of the few things we can do while avoiding people as much as possible, lol. 

 

I hope your wifes interview went well and that she starts to feel more comfortable at time goes on. Good thing that you are there for her and support her in the meantime, that's all anyone can do I think  I wish you both all the best!

 

 

[TBoneTX 45,309]

1 hour ago, mbssss said:

Environmental Science with a focus on planning and spatial analysis […] there's plenty of jobs like that around me

Use the time to develop contacts and relationships, and to find mentors.

Some companies pay existing employees a bonus if they refer a candidate (you) who becomes a new hire.

Get your contacts to tell you about their companies so that you'll interview there sounding well-informed.

When you get your EAD, you'll already know who the hiring managers are.

You can also flat-out ask your contacts if they would get a bonus for referring you.

Even if they won't get one, you'll score many points just for asking.

 

(Geez... even I'm getting excited about the opportunities available during all your free time!)

Edited February 5, 2021 by TBoneTX