troublesome I-751, citizenship

[Aagha 3]

Hi all.

I recently became eligible for citizenship, filing on 5yr rule.

During marriage, we didn't have a second interview for ROC.

 

Questions:

 

1) Marriage was troublesome, lots of cheating from USC. 

All of our issues revolved around that and him loving to exert power and asking me to "obey" knowing my situation depended on him. He was verbally, mentally, physically abusive, drinking, going out to nightclubs and rubbing it in my face in public. This was very tough on me, mentally and emotionally. He was a narcissistic personality, he isolated me from people and turned a lot of people against me by the time of our divorce.

 

2) Lawyer told me I need to know the separation date for this interview. I am confused with what that really means?

Realistically, this marriage was gradually falling apart. He cut me off from his family first 10 months after us filing ROC. We made up and continued sleeping in the same bed 6 months after, so I changed the separation date to when I completely moved out the residence, and this was 2 months after I received my GC. 

 

Please share your thoughts. Thank you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

[Ed&Midori1031 330]

So right now you are only separated and not divorced?

[Aagha 3]

14 hours ago, Ed&Midori1031 said:

So right now you are only separated and not divorced?

We have been divorced. I'm just not sure what separation means because there's no such thing as legal separation in some US states such as California. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[millefleur 5,046]

**Moved from US Citizenship Case Filing and Progress Reports to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits**

[Marieke H 2,512]

Why would you need to provide the date of separation? You will need to provide the official divorce date in the N-400. If you are asked about the separation (and I honestly think they don't care) you can just describe it the way you did in your post, with approximate dates.

[spot576 0]

On 1/7/2021 at 2:33 PM, Marieke H said:

Why would you need to provide the date of separation? You will need to provide the official divorce date in the N-400. If you are asked about the separation (and I honestly think they don't care) you can just describe it the way you did in your post, with approximate dates.

I believe the lawyer knows why- maybe to make sure if the couple separated before GC got approved, and there was no i-751 interview.

 

Edited January 9, 2021 by spot576

[Villanelle 4,122]

On 1/5/2021 at 12:05 AM, Aagha said:

We have been divorced. I'm just not sure what separation means because there's no such thing as legal separation in some US states such as California. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Look at your divorce decree. Often there is writing on it that states the date of separation. Generally the date of separation impacts divorce proceedings in regards to debts and separating assets so its often noted somewhere in the decree, if not a date of separation was most likely provided in the initial filings. So again look through your documents. Ideally the date you provided the court was the correct date. If it wasnt you need to provide USCIS with the correct information and an explanation as to why it was incorrect on the court documents. If there is no dates on any of the documents as to when you separated then theres no dates on the documents. That doesnt mean it didnt happen, just that theres no documentation of the date- so you need to provide it when or if asked. 

 

"Separating" is a unique legal term that can mean different things in different jurisdictions. For USCIS purposes and the scenario you described above- 

On 1/4/2021 at 4:15 AM, Aagha said:

Realistically, this marriage was gradually falling apart. He cut me off from his family first 10 months after us filing ROC. We made up and continued sleeping in the same bed 6 months after, so I changed the separation date to when I completely moved out the residence, and this was 2 months after I received my GC. 

This is a troubling scenario. What exactly do you mean by you changed the separation date? Sounds like you filed something stating the marriage was 'over' apx 10 months after filing ROC (and before getting the ROC approved). You then 'made up' which means what exactly? Did you withdraw what you filed? Or did the filing remain idle? And then you later changed the filing to reflect a date after the GC was issued?

 

You certainly do not have to answer any of the above questions but more information - a specific timeline - would be helpful. I believe I know what your attny is worried about and I suspect you do as well- It would appear you filed a joint ROC and during the time it was being processed the marriage broke down. That in itself is not reason to deny the ROC however USCIS needs to have all the information when making a decision and it appears they did not. That can be a reason for them to re consider your ROC approval. If the final divorce was issued prior to ROC approval you would have a huge issue. It seems it wasn't but you still have an issue as it seems divorce papers were filed during the process and then later amended to a date after the GC was issued.  

 

 

 

[Aagha 3]

This is where the confusion is. This was a narcissistic person who liked to have control. More often than not with abusive language, or simply knowing the other is dependent and in the inferior position.

He'd do one thing, then lie that he didn't. He'd claim he wants one thing, then act like he doesn't want that. He messed with my head completely.

I believe he enjoyed having someone he could bully around. 

 

This means that the separation date doesn't hold much logic in some subjective sense.

I'd say I'd leave, or he'd tell me to leave, then I'd go to my girlfriend's house, he'd frantically call my phone to come back home.

 

Even after divorce was done he kept calling me, asking where I am, stalk me through mutual contacts, and making jealous remarks asking if I'm dating anyone else, trying to get together over a dinner and movie- after he claimed he wanted me to leave! 

So according to that, I have been struggling to understand what separation date is in means of emotional and toxic relationships of this kind combined with laws. I asked the lawyer, but he didn't know much, he said those are just "marital issues". Laws online say "when one party tells another they want to separate". There has been no consistency around this matter!

 

This is why the dates kept changing.

 

Even after I left the household with GC and thought things were over, he kept trying to reconnect.

 

Even to this day we are divorced and this man tries to still text and call me and "complain" that I am seeing someone next or make remarks around it. 

If I respond, he tries to claim I am obsessed with him.

 

The separation date on the decree is the day of leaving the household. 

 

..so what is the separation date? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 18, 2021 by Aagha

[Ontarkie 14,226]

It doesn't matter if he kept calling you and trying to get back together. It doesn't make you a couple again.

 

The day you left and didn't return to him to live as husband and wife. That is the date of your separation.