Extreme Hardship and the Meeting Rule

[weedavit 1]

Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice for an extremely unfortunate situation I am in. 
 

I met my fiancé three years ago. We met via a Christian group on Facebook, and began communicating after feeling really connected to one another and excited over how many things we had in common. The friendship grew for over a year and we realized we’d really like to pursue it as a relationship, regardless of distance and the unusual, unconventional circumstances. 
 

It has been three years in total now. We video call for hours on weekends, and message each other during all our free time. We’ve corresponded with each other’s families, and my father has even been on board with this relationship (which says a lot...he’s very old fashioned and strict). We have decided we would like to marry. But here’s the issue.

 

I have been and continue to be, incapable of visiting him due to what I would consider extreme hardship. Both of my parents have had serious ailments for many years and I have been their main caretaker. My mother had two bouts of cancer treatments. She was then diagnosed with an extremely rare, terminal disease. Devastatingly, she passed away a couple of months ago after a long battle. My father is a high fracture risk and is practically wheelchair bound at this point. 
 

I am sorry for going into so much detail, but I just wanted to emphasize how impossible it is for me to find the ability to travel. I dropped out of college in my junior year in 2014 to take care of my parents, and I have been out ever since. Many relatives live out of town. And the ones who do live relatively close by aren’t willing to help. So in other words, I have had absolutely no way to visit this wonderful man that I love and want to marry. We are genuine. We have considered every possible option of trying to meet, but nothing is feasible due to my dad’s need for 24hr care. My fiancé is not from a country with a visa waiver program, and we are certain he is ineligible for a visa, because he’s still in medical school and would have very few ties to homeland. And even if we thought we’d have a chance, he couldn’t apply anyway since all embassies worldwide are closed due to COVID.

 

We don’t know what to do. We are at our wit’s end. Again, I know our situation is unconventional, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. And we genuinely love each other and want to be together.

 

I read that there are some exceptions (though I know they’re rare) to the “meeting within two years” rule. The only examples I have seen that describe extreme hardship are situations in which the US fiancé is physically disabled and unable to travel. But I was wondering if my situation might qualify as extreme hardship, since I have virtually no way to travel, and my father relies on me for everything. 
 

Thank you all for listening. I’m sorry for the length of this post. My family has gone through a lot and this whole thing is so depressing. Please be kind  God bless 

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

You are more than welcome to try but no, it does not sound like you would qualify for extreme hardship. Additionally, if you are not aware, you need to show you can financially sponsor your fiancé and if you are not working you will need a qualified joint sponsor. You did not mention where your fiancé is from but if it’s not a VWP country I will assume it’s a country with a higher fraud rate which would mean your time spent in person is even more important. You can’t be certain your fiancé won’t receive a tourist visa if you never tried. Attending medical school helps to show he has ties back home.  Good luck with whatever you choose. 

[Unlockable 7,314]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. But, unfortunately, you are correct about the meeting in person requirement is extremely difficult to overcome. I have been on this site and others for a few years and have only heard of two cases where the meeting in person requirement was waived. I vaguely remember the details of one but the other was because of severe disability to the US citizen, IIRC. 
 

All I can say is that you can try for extreme hardship waiver. But do so with the realization that it may very well be denied. Even proxy marriages (marriages performed online) are not approved by immigration.

 

Can you explore options for a caregiver to stay with your father while you are away? I know that is more cost but your financial capabilities will be looked at anyways. Even one visit should suffice.

 

Best of luck to you.

[weedavit 1]

3 minutes ago, Luckycuds said:

You are more than welcome to try but no, it does not sound like you would qualify for extreme hardship. Additionally, if you are not aware, you need to show you can financially sponsor your fiancé and if you are not working you will need a qualified joint sponsor. You did not mention where your fiancé is from but if it’s not a VWP country I will assume it’s a country with a higher fraud rate which would mean your time spent in person is even more important. You can’t be certain your fiancé won’t receive a tourist visa if you never tried. Attending medical school helps to show he has ties back home.  Good luck with whatever you choose. 

Thank you for your response. I can’t imagine how much more hardship id have to go through to qualify lol. How much worse can it get 😂

 

I am aware of the sponsorship issue. My father said he’d be a joint sponsor; he receives a pension that would definitely qualify him to help me sponsor. And we would try for a tourist visa, but the embassies are closed down with no end in sight. This feels so hopeless.

[weedavit 1]

2 minutes ago, Unlockable said:

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. But, unfortunately, you are correct about the meeting in person requirement is extremely difficult to overcome. I have been on this site and others for a few years and have only heard of two cases where the meeting in person requirement was waived. I vaguely remember the details of one but the other was because of severe disability to the US citizen, IIRC. 
 

All I can say is that you can try for extreme hardship waiver. But do so with the realization that it may very well be denied. Even proxy marriages (marriages performed online) are not approved by immigration.

 

Can you explore options for a caregiver to stay with your father while you are away? I know that is more cost but your financial capabilities will be looked at anyways. Even one visit should suffice.

 

Best of luck to you.

Thank you for responding. Even if I could find a caregiver at a reasonable rate: 1. His country is currently locked down and not admitting any international tourists, and 2. If we tried to meet in another country, it’s difficult to find one that both accepts American tourists, and allows him to enter without a visa. We actually briefly considered the Bahamas. We even considered marrying in the Bahamas. It’s not a long flight for me and I wouldn’t have to be away from my dad for as long, which means hiring a caregiver for a short period of time MIGHT be feasible. But his flight would transit through the USA. And he’d need a transit visa, which is just as hard to get as any other visa. He’s studying in a country that is not his place of origin. So I think convincing a visa officer would be even more difficult under those circumstances. There are no other flights that bypass a layover in the US. We can’t win. 

[Boiler 45,449]

Well now is not a good time to travel anyway.

 

Certainly he should try for a B when the opportunity arises. Are there not Agencies that can provide cover for your absence?

[Boiler 45,449]

Well you posted as I was posted seem a questing of waiting until the Covid situation has lifted. Remember even if you could obtain a waiver not meeting has major issues for relationship validity.

[Crazy Cat 41,814]

43 minutes ago, weedavit said:

Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice for an extremely unfortunate situation I am in. 
 

I met my fiancé three years ago. We met via a Christian group on Facebook, and began communicating after feeling really connected to one another and excited over how many things we had in common. The friendship grew for over a year and we realized we’d really like to pursue it as a relationship, regardless of distance and the unusual, unconventional circumstances. 
 

It has been three years in total now. We video call for hours on weekends, and message each other during all our free time. We’ve corresponded with each other’s families, and my father has even been on board with this relationship (which says a lot...he’s very old fashioned and strict). We have decided we would like to marry. But here’s the issue.

 

I have been and continue to be, incapable of visiting him due to what I would consider extreme hardship. Both of my parents have had serious ailments for many years and I have been their main caretaker. My mother had two bouts of cancer treatments. She was then diagnosed with an extremely rare, terminal disease. Devastatingly, she passed away a couple of months ago after a long battle. My father is a high fracture risk and is practically wheelchair bound at this point. 
 

I am sorry for going into so much detail, but I just wanted to emphasize how impossible it is for me to find the ability to travel. I dropped out of college in my junior year in 2014 to take care of my parents, and I have been out ever since. Many relatives live out of town. And the ones who do live relatively close by aren’t willing to help. So in other words, I have had absolutely no way to visit this wonderful man that I love and want to marry. We are genuine. We have considered every possible option of trying to meet, but nothing is feasible due to my dad’s need for 24hr care. My fiancé is not from a country with a visa waiver program, and we are certain he is ineligible for a visa, because he’s still in medical school and would have very few ties to homeland. And even if we thought we’d have a chance, he couldn’t apply anyway since all embassies worldwide are closed due to COVID.

 

We don’t know what to do. We are at our wit’s end. Again, I know our situation is unconventional, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. And we genuinely love each other and want to be together.

 

I read that there are some exceptions (though I know they’re rare) to the “meeting within two years” rule. The only examples I have seen that describe extreme hardship are situations in which the US fiancé is physically disabled and unable to travel. But I was wondering if my situation might qualify as extreme hardship, since I have virtually no way to travel, and my father relies on me for everything. 
 

Thank you all for listening. I’m sorry for the length of this post. My family has gone through a lot and this whole thing is so depressing. Please be kind  God bless 

Honestly, I think you are highly unlikely to be granted a waiver for the 2 year rule.  It sounds inconvenient for you to travel.  Where is his home country? It might sound insensitive, but  I am of the opinion that it it not a good idea to sponsor someone into the US whom you have never actually met.  Good luck.  I wish you well in your journey. 

Edited January 3, 2021 by Lucky Cat

[HRQX 4,145]

32 minutes ago, weedavit said:

I met my fiancé three years ago.

Where is your fiance from? So that we can know the interviewing consulate for a B visa and provide DOS issuance statistics. If he gets a B visa, you can marry in the US and then file I-130 for CR-1 consular process: "The beneficiary will not apply for adjustment of status in the United States, but he or she will apply for an immigrant visa abroad at the U.S. Embassy or U.S. Consulate in"

https://uk.usembassy.gov/visas/immigrant-visa-faqs/

We are traveling to the United States to marry and will return to the United Kingdom after marriage. Do I still need a fiancé(e) visa?

If you will return to your permanent residence you may apply for a tourist B-2 visa, or if eligible, travel visa free under the Visa Waiver Program.  At the time you apply for the visa and/or travel to the United States you will be required to show that you have a residence outside the United States that you do not intend to abandon. There is no set form that this evidence takes as it varies with each person’s circumstances.

[Crazy Cat 41,814]

38 minutes ago, weedavit said:

My fiancé is not from a country with a visa waiver program, and we are certain he is ineligible for a visa, because he’s still in medical school and would have very few ties to homeland.

His medical school commitment might be considered a strong tie to his country.

[Boiler 45,449]

A K1 does seem very appropriate in this case with its long period before he can work.

[Sarah&Facundo 595]

2 hours ago, Lucky Cat said:

Honestly, I think you are highly unlikely to be granted a waiver for the 2 year rule.  It sounds inconvenient for you to travel.  Where is his home country? It might sound insensitive, but  I am of the opinion that it it not a good idea to sponsor someone into the US whom you have never actually met.  Good luck.  I wish you well in your journey. 

I totally agree with this. People can be VERY different in person than when you are just communicating with them by virtual means. Marriage and signing off forms with immigration are two very serious commitments for people who have not truly met.

 

Just because they are not from a VWP country, does not mean they won't get a tourist visa. Many do. My husband did and I have many non-American friends who did. It highly depends on where they are from. I also highly suggest finding a way to meet once COVID dissipates. It is very hard for anyone, tourist or not, to get a visa right now to any country.

[Marieke H 2,496]

It is a difficult situation, but I don't think it qualifies as extreme hardship. Right now, the main issue seems to be the travel restrictions due to COVID, and that is certainly not a unique issue. Thousands of couples have had to cancel their trips to meet each other, causing them to postpone the filing of a petition. Everyone is just waiting for things to get better.

 

When traveling is possible again, you will have options. You can hire someone for a short period to take care of your father, or he can apply for a tourist visa. 

[carmel34 3,620]

In these difficult pandemic times, international relationships are very challenging, we see many sad posts here on VJ from couples separated because of the travel restrictions.  It must be very frustrating so here's some empathy if that helps, but the bottom line is it's out of your control.  Even if you had met physically before the pandemic, the K-1 visa would be delayed as many consulates and embassies are not scheduling K-1 interviews.  Focus on what you can control--lots of communication and continue learning as much as you can about each other, so that when you can meet in person, your relationship will continue to progress if that's what you both want.  Hang in there and let's hope that the vaccines get distributed more widely in the coming months so that you can meet later this year.  Good luck!

[weedavit 1]

Thanks to everyone for your thoughtful responses. I guess I kind of figured that my case wouldn’t qualify as extreme hardship (even though it certainly feels like it is to me! Lol). As I mentioned in one of my comments to another user, we had discussed meeting in the Bahamas, because he doesn’t need a visa, and the flight for me wouldn’t be so long. A shorter trip would allow for me to (hopefully) hire someone to stay with my dad, since I wouldn’t have to be away for as long. We actually even considered marrying there, as the requirements don’t appear too stringent and complicated. But we then hit another roadblock, because every dang flight transits though the US, which we then learned requires a transit visa for him. The embassy website says that transit visas are not permitted if the foreigner intends to marry when he gets to his destination. That seems so very unfair. 
 

I know this is off of the main topic, but with the above in mind, does anyone know if there’s a way to find flights that do not have a layover in the States? I’ve been looking on sites like Expedia and Travelocity (and many others) but they all have layovers in New York, Florida, Georgia, etc. It would be from the Ukraine to Bahamas. 
 

It’s all so ridiculous. 

Edited January 4, 2021 by weedavit