Long distance relationships, long long processing

[Sondos 3]

I wanna know how every single women out there is handling the long distance marriage! It’s such a long process to handle it’s so stressful, so much aches, let’s support each other!😔😢

[Myroslava 21]

25 minutes ago, Sondos said:

I wanna know how every single women out there is handling the long distance marriage! It’s such a long process to handle it’s so stressful, so much aches, let’s support each other!😔😢

 It's hard but it's possible. Just requires a lot of patience, trust, love and communication. After the wedding we were able to spend wonderful 2 months together with my husband. We had really hard time at the airport letting each other go. Returning to online relationship was hard also.

 

Ability to do video calls daily helps a lot. We have learned how to communicate which will definitely help us when we are finally together permanently. 

 

It's comforting to know that we have each other. Another thing that helps is reading this forum and understanding that other people going through the same long process. Separation will pass. We will be together with our loved ones soon❤️

 

[Sondos 3]

13 minutes ago, Myroslava said:

 It's hard but it's possible. Just requires a lot of patience, trust, love and communication. After the wedding we were able to spend wonderful 2 months together with my husband. We had really hard time at the airport letting each other go. Returning to online relationship was hard also.

 

Ability to do video calls daily helps a lot. We have learned how to communicate which will definitely help us when we are finally together permanently. 

 

It's comforting to know that we have each other. Another thing that helps is reading this forum and understanding that other people going through the same long process. Separation will pass. We will be together with our loved ones soon❤️

 

I feel you😟 it’s been 4 months right now without my husband sometimes I feel like I have zero patience I don’t know how! too much stress to handle every single night I keep crying my eyes out sometimes I’m super good and I can wait other times I feel everything is falling apart I can’t wait to see him I don’t know when but I’m praying for it! Thank you so much for your sharing❤️

[Crazy Cat 41,884]

55 minutes ago, Sondos said:

I wanna know how every single women out there is handling the long distance marriage! It’s such a long process to handle it’s so stressful, so much aches, let’s support each other!😔😢

I am not a woman, but I will tell how we managed.  My wife and I had video conversations 2 times a day for the 13 months we were apart.  It helped.

[JFH 12,190]

As strange as it may sound, have a look through some military forums for ideas from military spouses on how to keep going through the separation. 
 

When we went through this process I used to have a “rule of three”. I always made sure I had three different things to look forward to. Even small things like meeting a good friend for lunch or a drink, maybe a new film or book that I was waiting to see or read, and so on. After each one was done, I would add another to my list so that I always had three things to look forward to. It really helped the time pass by. 

Edited January 2, 2021 by JFH

[Crazy Cat 41,884]

2 minutes ago, JFH said:

I always made sure I had three different things to look forward to. Even small things like meeting a good friend for lunch or a drink, maybe a new film or book that I was waiting to see or read, and so on. After each one was done, I would add another to my list so that I always had three things to look forward to. It really helped the time pass by. 

That is outstanding advice......and it works....

[Sondos 3]

16 minutes ago, Lucky Cat said:

I am not a woman, but I will tell how we managed.  My wife and I had video conversations 2 times a day for the 13 months we were apart.  It helped.

Thank you🙏 

13 minutes ago, JFH said:

As strange as it may sound, have a look through some military forums for ideas from military spouses on how to keep going through the separation. 
 

When we went through this process I used to have a “rule of three”. I always made sure I had three different things to look forward to. Even small things like meeting a good friend for lunch or a drink, maybe a new film or book that I was waiting to see or read, and so on. After each one was done, I would add another to my list so that I always had three things to look forward to. It really helped the time pass by. 

I’ll try it out. Thank you ❤️

[Ed&Midori1031 330]

1 hour ago, Sondos said:

I wanna know how every single women out there is handling the long distance marriage! It’s such a long process to handle it’s so stressful, so much aches, let’s support each other!😔😢

I know you've asked for women, but let me tell you what my wife and I did.  We were apart for about 18 months, and seen each other physically for about 1.5 months total out of the 18.  

 

While we were away from each other, we communicated daily, whether just chat or video call.  The big thing for us was to support each other, patience and not give us stress (even though ths visa process, we couldnt avoid stress at times).  

 

Not only give time for each other, but time for yourselves, like meeting a friend, going for a walk, concert, etc.  Something for your own individual times.  We set goals and ideas for each time we traveled to meet each other again.  

 

Support and patience. Hope this helps.  

[Ed&Midori1031 330]

40 minutes ago, JFH said:

As strange as it may sound, have a look through some military forums for ideas from military spouses on how to keep going through the separation. 
 

When we went through this process I used to have a “rule of three”. I always made sure I had three different things to look forward to. Even small things like meeting a good friend for lunch or a drink, maybe a new film or book that I was waiting to see or read, and so on. After each one was done, I would add another to my list so that I always had three things to look forward to. It really helped the time pass by. 

Me being in the Navy, every military spouse needs the love and support to help endure the hardship of being a military spouse.  I try my best to help support my wife, especially when we're apart. I like your idea of the rule of 3, clever!  

[JeanneAdil 6,510]

I found out when we went thru this we had to not talk about immigration

day after day with no news was heartbreaking enough but bringing it up in our video talks didn't help

 

so, unless we needed to get a form from each other or actually discuss something about the process,  we kept our talks about each other,  romance and our families

this is actually a honeymoon time (or suppose to be),  so keep it that way because this process is so stressful and when the immigrant comes, you are right into living together and all that that involves

 

you need this time to know everything about each other like you are dating and getting use to the other person

 

I don't know if i say it all the way i mean to but FORGET  immigration or it will drive you nuts

and i know this as we 1st applied in 2009 and he finally got his visa and came in 2015

 

Edited January 2, 2021 by JeanneAdil

[Sondos 3]

56 minutes ago, Ed&Midori1031 said:

I know you've asked for women, but let me tell you what my wife and I did.  We were apart for about 18 months, and seen each other physically for about 1.5 months total out of the 18.  

 

While we were away from each other, we communicated daily, whether just chat or video call.  The big thing for us was to support each other, patience and not give us stress (even though ths visa process, we couldnt avoid stress at times).  

 

Not only give time for each other, but time for yourselves, like meeting a friend, going for a walk, concert, etc.  Something for your own individual times.  We set goals and ideas for each time we traveled to meet each other again.  

 

Support and patience. Hope this helps.  

Thank you for your share🙌

[Sondos 3]

13 minutes ago, JeanneAdil said:

I found out when we went thru this we had to not talk about immigration

day after day with no news was heartbreaking enough but bringing it up in our video talks didn't help

 

so, unless we needed to get a form from each other or actually discuss something about the process,  we kept our talks about each other,  romance and our families

this is actually a honeymoon time (or suppose to be),  so keep it that way because this process is so stressful and when the immigrant comes, you are right into living together and all that that involves

 

you need this time to know everything about each other like you are dating and getting use to the other person

 

I don't know if i say it all the way i mean to but FORGET  immigration or it will drive you nuts

and i know this as we 1st applied in 2009 and he finally got his visa and came in 2015

 

Thank you so much❤️

[Ed&Midori1031 330]

8 minutes ago, Sondos said:

Thank you for your share🙌

Not a problem!  All of us on here, we all know how hard the immigration visa processes can be.  

 

I forgot to mention earlier.  They and not look at this as a business, meaning purely focusing on the immigration aspect of everything.  Focus on the relationship aspect the most!

[angeljolie 188]

Keep yourself busy by:

 

1. Getting a hobby (baking, gardening, cooking, etc)

2. Learning a new language

3. Reading books 

4. Writing on a journal

5. Exercising

 

I know it's extra hard being in the midst of a pandemic (when traveling to see each other can be trivial) but just remember--you WILL be together, it's just a matter of when.