Abandoned in the UK with 3 month old child

[mrs.jenjen 0]

Okay, I'm back. I'm not technically on any kind of visa journey anymore, but I was hoping maybe someone has some advice.

I'm 25. I married a USC in November 05. I got pregnant in Jan 06 and had a baby boy in September 06. From July through to December of that year, my husband was 300 miles away from me training to be a police officer. He only came home at weekends, barely called and basically had no regard or understanding of quite how lonely or scared I was to be 5,000 miles away from anyone I knew, and he was unwilling and resentful of the fact that he was the only person I had for support.

He spent, in total, 41 days with our son.

At Christmas we flew back to the UK to visit family. Everything kicked off, and we had a huge fight. He was violent towards me, and inadvertently very nearly violent towards our son. Many things were said that I am very ashamed of, so I don't claim to be innocent in everything, but he made the decision on his own to buy a ticket back to the US. He flew back on January 1st without us. Some of his last words to me were that if I followed him back to the US he would take our son, throw me out on the streets, and I'd never find them again. His father also advised him to snatch the baby when he called him to let him know he was flying back early. The next day on his return to the US, he cancelled my bank cards, leaving me without a penny.

For two months we went back and forth talking about me returning, and ended up agreeing that as I was in the UK anyway and we would have to buy a new ticket for me and the baby, I would stay a bit longer and get my health sorted out before I returned (I had a pre-existing condition that would have cost $1,000's even with insurance to get stable again). One day in March, out of the blue, he turned round and told me he didn't want me to come back to the US.

My son and I are completely settled in our own apartment and we do okay financially. He sends money, but it doesn't work out a lot after the exchange rate etc. He still has not sent one of my belongings over, nor any of the baby's things (not that they'd be any good now since he's now 9 months old) He has apparently approached several lawyers about custody (he doesn't have a leg to stand on) and divorce, but has told me that getting a divorce would be too expensive for him so I have to do it.

I don't know how, and I don't have any money to be able to invoke divorce proceedings. I have contacted legal aid here but there are no lawyers in my area who will take on such a complicated case. I have no idea what I need to do, or where I even start from here to get this finalized. Any suggestions?

Also - where do I stand in terms of my Green Card, and if I did ever want to return to the US for visits so my son can see his father? (I have no plans to do this, but would like to know theoretically) I had a 2 year green card which expires in 2008, but obviously I have been outside the US for over six months now and have no AP. I overstayed before we got married, just under the 180 day limit. Could I be subject to a ban from re-entering the US?

Thanks for any advice you can give me.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Okay, I'm back. I'm not technically on any kind of visa journey anymore, but I was hoping maybe someone has some advice.

I'm 25. I married a USC in November 05. I got pregnant in Jan 06 and had a baby boy in September 06. From July through to December of that year, my husband was 300 miles away from me training to be a police officer. He only came home at weekends, barely called and basically had no regard or understanding of quite how lonely or scared I was to be 5,000 miles away from anyone I knew, and he was unwilling and resentful of the fact that he was the only person I had for support.

He spent, in total, 41 days with our son.

At Christmas we flew back to the UK to visit family. Everything kicked off, and we had a huge fight. He was violent towards me, and inadvertently very nearly violent towards our son. Many things were said that I am very ashamed of, so I don't claim to be innocent in everything, but he made the decision on his own to buy a ticket back to the US. He flew back on January 1st without us. Some of his last words to me were that if I followed him back to the US he would take our son, throw me out on the streets, and I'd never find them again. His father also advised him to snatch the baby when he called him to let him know he was flying back early. The next day on his return to the US, he cancelled my bank cards, leaving me without a penny.

For two months we went back and forth talking about me returning, and ended up agreeing that as I was in the UK anyway and we would have to buy a new ticket for me and the baby, I would stay a bit longer and get my health sorted out before I returned (I had a pre-existing condition that would have cost $1,000's even with insurance to get stable again). One day in March, out of the blue, he turned round and told me he didn't want me to come back to the US.

My son and I are completely settled in our own apartment and we do okay financially. He sends money, but it doesn't work out a lot after the exchange rate etc. He still has not sent one of my belongings over, nor any of the baby's things (not that they'd be any good now since he's now 9 months old) He has apparently approached several lawyers about custody (he doesn't have a leg to stand on) and divorce, but has told me that getting a divorce would be too expensive for him so I have to do it.

I don't know how, and I don't have any money to be able to invoke divorce proceedings. I have contacted legal aid here but there are no lawyers in my area who will take on such a complicated case. I have no idea what I need to do, or where I even start from here to get this finalized. Any suggestions?

Also - where do I stand in terms of my Green Card, and if I did ever want to return to the US for visits so my son can see his father? (I have no plans to do this, but would like to know theoretically) I had a 2 year green card which expires in 2008, but obviously I have been outside the US for over six months now and have no AP. I overstayed before we got married, just under the 180 day limit. Could I be subject to a ban from re-entering the US?

Thanks for any advice you can give me.

If you have a conditional green card you don't require AP to leave, but the issue becomes will USCIS deem at some time in the near future that you have abandoned your permanent residency. A resident alien can leave the country for quite some time as long as it appears that the USA is his or her permanent residence.

In the meantime, if you choose to retain PR you should speak with someone, an immigration attorney familiar with US immigration laws, to see what steps to take to preserve residency while staying overseas.

As for the divorce, do you wish to divorce or are you doing that simply because your unruly husband wants you to?

[broma25 2]

You may also want to think about the nationality of your son.

Was the birth registered in the US and the UK so therefore dual nationality?

If you did not register the birth in the UK or with the UK consulate just make sure that he is registered soon.

[mrs.jenjen 0]

You may also want to think about the nationality of your son.

Was the birth registered in the US and the UK so therefore dual nationality?

If you did not register the birth in the UK or with the UK consulate just make sure that he is registered soon.

I tried to register him, but all the people I spoke to said that he doesn't need to be. He's been registered in terms of child benefit, and I'm applying for a british passport, so I assume thats all I need to do? Unless you know different that is...

[Kathryn41 3,205]

You may also want to think about the nationality of your son.

Was the birth registered in the US and the UK so therefore dual nationality?

If you did not register the birth in the UK or with the UK consulate just make sure that he is registered soon.

I tried to register him, but all the people I spoke to said that he doesn't need to be. He's been registered in terms of child benefit, and I'm applying for a british passport, so I assume thats all I need to do? Unless you know different that is...

If your son was born in the US, he is already 'registered' as a US citizen - you don't need to register him overseas. Did he travel on a US passport when you went home at Christmas? He should be eligible for dual citizenship, so yes, make sure he gets is British passport as well. Good luck with everything else. I am sorry that you had such difficulties.

Edited August 12, 2007 by Kathryn41