When to give up on our K1.... Never ending wait during Covid

[JonSeattle 202]

It really depends on the specifics your relationship with your fiance. In my case, we waited several years and made a lot of sacrifices for a variety of reasons. My fiance had her embassy interview just a couple days before the shutdown, and after a few months of more delays, we finally got married. I'm very happy with our new life together. 

 

It seems like the Philippines did a poor job of lining up a vaccine supply, but they are already talking about vaccine passports. If I was still in your situation, I would take that as enough encouragement to focus on deepening the LDR and keeping busy, as I am sure you have been doing already.

[Tommyz44 67]

1 minute ago, Daniel78 said:

I have been curious about some of the exotic options, such as joining a lawsuit or contacting a Senator. Seems like Dec 3rd was the last date to join the lawsuit, at any rate. Anybody got any other ideas that might work?

My senator passed me onto my Congressman. They then chatted with me a bit and I wrote a letter. Not sure how it will go, but worth a shot! Other option if she can leave at all meet in a third country get married drop the k1 and start a cr1. 

[Carpe Vinum 2,327]

Tough crowd. Looking from the outside Covid has made this process almost unbearable. Whatever you decide be honest with your partner. Filipinas tend to believe what you say when you make promises.

Edited December 27, 2020 by boris64

[Cdnusagurl 22]

The process is long and hard, but isn't your fiance worth waiting for? I mean, I got 10 years with my husband in his country and being a part has had a major toll on both of us mentally and emotionally. However, I would rather wait 2 years or more to be with him than dump him and settle for someone close by out of convenience. And I'm a pretty impatient person.

 

If you're going to dump her because this is taking too long and just shoe horn someone into her place out of convenience then you probably shouldn't be looking to get married to her or anyone else at this point in time.

[yvonme 124]

On 12/26/2020 at 1:24 PM, Daniel78 said:

Currently have had NOA2 approved since early February for my fiancee in the Philippines, but we had our interview cancelled in March due to Covid. With the way the politics are in the Philippines, it seems like to me that the US Embassy might not even open next year. I am thinking about setting May 1 as the "give up"date, as it seems like we have to move on with our lives at some point.

Very brave to post. We both also have deadlines. We want to grow into a family at certain points. I hope things do come faster for you. I know how sad this can feel.

[yvonme 124]

6 hours ago, boris64 said:

Tough crowd. Looking from the outside Covid has made this process almost unbearable. Whatever you decide be honest with your partner. Filipinas tend to believe what you say when you make promises.

Very tough crowd! I sad I was alone once and the response I got turned me off.

[olivia77 23]

When it comes to planning for a family, some people really have limited time. We don't know poster's age, fiance and full reasons. An indefinite wait with no clarity is a very gloomy perspective. 

[yvonme 124]

I think with all LDR and then tossing in an immigration topic is sensitive and not everyone can wait 20 years or 5. I certainly didn’t think a K1 will take over a year. The best deadline & what is the best timing comes within OP best self. To tell the OP they are a wrong person continuously is not the support I would expect from this site. 

OP, I would first really think if you can do a LDR and come to terms that it may or may not be a couple years (Or more). Don’t let anyone make you feel bad or “feel bad for your fiancé”. Or that you’re not cut off for it. Wild.

[laylalex 7,289]

It's fine to not be cut out for an LDR. It's fine to have "expiration dates." What's not fine is for one partner to have a cutoff date and not clear it with the other. If everyone's bought in, I don't see the problem with that at all. It is a delicate conversation to have but it is necessary for the OP if he hasn't done it already. The key point is honest and open communication, which is the bedrock of a healthy marriage that will last. I myself have to work hard at this because I have a tendency to hide uncomfortable and awkward truths from people I care about. The problem with doing that is that at some point, the truth will find a way to wriggle out and damage control gets harder.

 

When people come here with relationship issues that aren't really immigration issues, they need to be prepared for others' opinions. When it's an immigration issue, they need to be prepared to hear cold hard facts. This isn't an immigration issue, it just looks like one. It's more pandemic-related than anything else. Once the pandemic is under control, the issuance of the visa will resolve itself. 

 

My opinion -- and that's all that it is -- is that the OP needs to talk to his fiancée if he hasn't already about his timescale. She's the one ultimately who gets to decide whether that timescale is acceptable to her or not.

[Allovertheworld 355]

On 12/26/2020 at 3:54 PM, Daniel78 said:

I don't have a direct line with the Philippines president obviously. But of course I have been following the situation closely there and the politics seem to be "stay closed down until everybody gets vaccinated and Covid is gone forever" before things return to "normal" 

I do have a somewhat inderct line to the President of Philippines.

 

Recently Dutete was pretty miffed and not happy with the USA for revoking the tourist visa of Bato Del Rosa, It been said it was revoked due to the extra judicial killings while he was head of PNP (Philippines National Police) from 2016 to 2018, he is now Senator.  Dela Rosa confirms his US visa has been canceled (cnnphilippines.com). 

 

It well know Duterte wasn't a fan of Obama, and more than likely will not be a fan of Biden and this probably will not play out well for the US relation with Philippines the next 4 years. Duterte has a fairly good relationship with Trump from what I have been told.

 

My best friend in Philippines is a PNP captian in Davao City where Duterte rose to fame for turning it from the murder capital of the Philippines to now a safe city. He had his famous DDS clean out the criminal element in Davao the last 20 years.  He worked under him for almost 30 years.

 

Dutete has said many times he will not open Philippines back up until the people have been vacinated, and so far he has kept his promise. I suspect it will be late 2021 or 2022 until this happens.  As long as he has Manila locked down there is no way the US Embassy will get back to normal processing anytime soon.

 

Him and Duterte are rather friendly, so much Duterte, his daughter Sara, the now current mayor of Davao and Bato all 3 attended his daughters wedding last year.  Rumors are strong is Duterte daughters has a good chance to run and win the Presidency in 2022.  

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Just pull the plug now. Sorry you've already wasted this poor girl's time.

[daniel_and_lily 45]

I hope everyone who calls for him to pull the plug realizes he may just be in a very depressed state now, and hurting, because he loves her and misses her so much. Telling him to pull the plug instead of encouraging him to go on and keep his chin up for the woman his love seems like an odd approach. He just confided in the people reading this.

 

Daniel, one day at a time man. Have you exhausted all possibilities ? Someone I know was looking at buying a boat and sailing to Vietnam. The straight at Russia is only 4 hours to cross. Talk about an adventure.  Maybe if you cross at Taiwan, it can be done. You could write a book about that. Countries have different laws around coming in by boat too. 

[Eu_Sou_Douglas 75]

On 12/26/2020 at 4:05 PM, Daniel78 said:

No, just make it so that on May 1, if we do not have an interview scheduled, we just have to pull the plug on it. 

Daniel - I've been through the K-1 process with my wife, I know your wait is longer but our process took 18 months without COVID. Your are obviously frustrated and I know being apart from your fiance is really HARD. But you have to remember why you are doing all of this - it is worth it! If your finances and situation allow it, maybe try and plan a trip to visit your fiancé until you get your K-1 issued. I know it's hard, but this is the rest of your life. You guys can make it, just stay strong and you'll be glad you stuck with it. Best of luck to you

[angeljolie 188]

On 12/27/2020 at 5:24 AM, Daniel78 said:

Currently have had NOA2 approved since early February for my fiancee in the Philippines, but we had our interview cancelled in March due to Covid. With the way the politics are in the Philippines, it seems like to me that the US Embassy might not even open next year. I am thinking about setting May 1 as the "give up"date, as it seems like we have to move on with our lives at some point.

Don't make decisions especially when you are emotional. Take some time to yourself to clear your mind. 

[yvonme 124]

Daniel. Remember, no one knows it best but you. Don’t let anyone on VJ tell you because you have personal deadline, 

can’t wait on a complicating immigration process that has delays and big impacts in your life in ways that are widely different than other adversities - make you feel like you can’t find lasting relationships in the future! You do what’s best for you. Historic times for K1 used to be the fastest. Not anymore.
But know other people have felt the same. And I’m very sure, has realistically happened.