Adopting Step Children

[Wcalmt1 34]

I know they are not in country yet.  Though I was wondering what the process would be to adopt my step daughters.  They do not wish anything to do with the biological father.  They are practicing signing my last name.  also the wish to change their middle names do to the culture of adding "ovna" to the end of the fathers given name for their middle names.  I cherish the girls greatly and I am ready to accept full responsibility for their well being.

     He repeatedly beat my wife when they were married, even in front of the girls.  My wife is very afraid of this, I use the term loosely, man.  

I read somewhere you need consent from "Both" biological parents to be able to adopt them.  He is just the kind of A______e to refuse just to cause my wife distress, not caring what the girls want.  He does not give any type of support.  It has been over 2 years since any contact from him.

I also did read that you can forego the consent from both if you can get a court to declare him as an "Unfit" parent.  I wonder if we could get this declaration in the states, when he is in Tajikistan?

 

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

You need a family lawyer who understands both US and Tajikistan law. (If you are planning to sponsor them for visas as adopted rather than step children, then you need an immigration lawyer too.) This does not sound like anything remotely approaching a DIY case. Good luck, hope you work it out. 

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

  First you need to know the rights of a parent to the child in the home country.  In some the child is seen as belonging solely to the woman, in some only to the man and in most it is a combination of the birth parents .   Even in the US severing the foreign parents right may be harder than you think.   Children don't have much a say in their parents until they are in their teens.    Has he signed the permission for them to leave the country ?   

[Boiler 45,501]

You will need the services of a local family lawyer.

[aaron2020 11,651]

3 hours ago, Wcalmt1 said:

I know they are not in country yet.  Though I was wondering what the process would be to adopt my step daughters.  They do not wish anything to do with the biological father.  They are practicing signing my last name.  also the wish to change their middle names do to the culture of adding "ovna" to the end of the fathers given name for their middle names.  I cherish the girls greatly and I am ready to accept full responsibility for their well being.

     He repeatedly beat my wife when they were married, even in front of the girls.  My wife is very afraid of this, I use the term loosely, man.  

I read somewhere you need consent from "Both" biological parents to be able to adopt them.  He is just the kind of A______e to refuse just to cause my wife distress, not caring what the girls want.  He does not give any type of support.  It has been over 2 years since any contact from him.

I also did read that you can forego the consent from both if you can get a court to declare him as an "Unfit" parent.  I wonder if we could get this declaration in the states, when he is in Tajikistan?

 

This is not going to be easy.

 

First, you will need the father's consent or a Tajikistan court order allowing your stepdaughters to immigrate to the US.

 

Second, in order for you to adopt them, the father's parental rights must be terminated.  Without his consent, you are unlikely to get a state court to terminate his right without providing him an opportunity to oppose it.  No state court is going to declare him an "unfit parent" without his providing him an opportunity to defend himself.  We simply do not terminate people's parental rights when they can't defend themselves.

Go see a family lawyer in your state who is versed in contested stepparent adoptions.  This is not going to be easy.  It's going to be expensive.  And it may not even be possible.  

 

[Ontarkie 14,222]

~~Moved to Moving Here and Your New Life, from Bringing Family Of USC - the OP is asking about adoption after the children arrive in the US.~~

 

 

Mod hat off

 

I can only speak from my experience with my kids from Canada (Hague Country) 

 

As mentioned above it is not easy. A US court is not going to terminate the fathers right no matter how long the time has been since he has seen them. Stripping him of his rights where he cannot defend himself properly can lead to a huge mess. They will never override the children's birth country's laws. If he has any sort of rights even if he has not used those rights or paid support,  those need to be terminated in the birth country. Once the birth country terminates his rights than a US court will move forward. 

 

For us it wasn't worth the fight. My ex hasn't seen my kids since we moved 12 1/2 yrs now. They are adults now and he has never paid a day of support. But guess what I'm happy he didn't and happy he had no contact as like your wife's ex he has abusive and by being his usual self centered self. Him having no contact made life much easier to deal with.

 

Depending on the age of the girls they may be able to get legal name changes without his consent. I know it's not completely what you're thinking but an alternative if adoption seems more difficult then it needs. 

[Jinky&Bob 13]

Check the laws of the country that they are residents of, some country's have it that the mother is custodial. Does it say anything about the kids in the divorce agreement?