I don't know where to begin

[Quimat 154]

On 12/18/2020 at 10:37 PM, Paula&Johnny said:

The high rate is because of the amount of fraud intent in some countries. I really don't know exactly about Gambia. 

Just be careful about going to any country that you just know 1 person

 

Is there any age difference? Are you Muslim? Is he Muslim?

 

I really wish you find the love of your life like you dream of!!

 

There is a small age difference of 4 years, I'm 31 and he is 27. He is Muslim and I am Christian which he is fine with...his only request was that if we have a child, that the child be Muslim like he is. Yes, I only know him, but he's been a great person and has never asked me for anything but time. Thank you so much!

[Boiler 45,519]

I thought he had asked to immigrate to the US?

[Quimat 154]

On 12/18/2020 at 9:37 PM, aaron2020 said:

Hi,

 

Go meet him and develop the relationship.

 

In order for him to visit the US, he would need a visitor visa.  With a 72% refusal rate, never having been outside his country, having a US citizen girlfriend, etc., he is unlikely to get one.

In order for him to immigrate to the US as your fiance or spouse, you will need to show a "bona fide" relationship.  This means show that the relationship is genuine and not him using you to immigrate to the US.  One visit is probably not going to do it.  You will probably need multiple visits.  This is going to be a long and exhausting road.  You are facing a high fraud country where lots of people are desperate to leave and come to the US.  This is what the US Embassy is looking for.  The more relationship evidence you have, the better.  A quick application after meeting once will make this extremely hard. 

Watch a few episodes of "90 Days Fiance" to see what others in similar situations to yours have gone through.  You can learn from their successes and avoid their failings.  

I appreciate your feedback and I will take this into consideration. He's been such a genuine soul. Has never asked me for a dime or came off like he just wanted to be here. As a matter of fact, he loves his country and asked if I would consider moving there lol. It was really my idea to possibly bring him here so we can start our lives together. My biggest concern is the ability to travel to him because I have four children and I hate to leave them to be gone that long. I wish there was another way around around it. However, I love him, and I'm willing to do what I need to do to make it work. I know that this will be long and drawn out and I fear that the most. I am afraid to do all of this for nothing.

[Quimat 154]

4 minutes ago, Boiler said:

I thought he had asked to immigrate to the US?

No, him coming here was completely my idea.  I mentioned this in my initial post 🙂

[Boiler 45,519]

Has he looked into visiting you?

[SalishSea 17,832]

1 hour ago, quisha said:

I appreciate your feedback and I will take this into consideration. He's been such a genuine soul. Has never asked me for a dime or came off like he just wanted to be here. As a matter of fact, he loves his country and asked if I would consider moving there lol. It was really my idea to possibly bring him here so we can start our lives together. My biggest concern is the ability to travel to him because I have four children and I hate to leave them to be gone that long. I wish there was another way around around it. However, I love him, and I'm willing to do what I need to do to make it work. I know that this will be long and drawn out and I fear that the most. I am afraid to do all of this for nothing.  That is always a possibility.  If he is denied the visa and you still want to be together, you may have to move there to make that happen.

As others have said, it will be an uphill battle to bring someone from a poor African country to the US without many visits, and lots of time spent in person.  Many American women have been victims of green card/marriage fraud, and as a result your case will be scrutinized closely through that lens.  

 

You'll want to think carefully about whether you can manage that time away from your kids and employment.  A week spent together in his country will not satisfy the consular officer.  Also - with four kids, they may want to see that he's met them in person.  Sadly, that would deter many men from a relationship, so it becomes an additional reason to show evidence of the bonafides.

[Orangesapples 1,954]

2 hours ago, quisha said:

My biggest obstacle will be getting to him, but I will do my best. There's actually a small age difference, I'm 31 and he's 27. He's never been married and has no kids. He's never asked me for anything. 

This is not considered an age difference, you're in the same age range, same generation. 

[Quimat 154]

1 hour ago, Boiler said:

Has he looked into visiting you?

We have talked about it, but I'm not sure how possible it would be.

[Boiler 45,519]

Well we know very little about him as far as possibilities are concerned zero if he does not try.

[Quimat 154]

1 hour ago, Boiler said:

Well we know very little about him as far as possibilities are concerned zero if he does not try.

I agree with you there. I will talk with him this evening and we will weigh our options. 

[Quimat 154]

I haven't been back on this thread in a while and I've taken the time to re-read what has been posted on here. It's a shock to me how many of the comments were way more negative than positive. I have joined other forums and Facebook groups and have met several women with men from the Gambia that have had ZERO issues with the approval status. I have been told (on here) that my man would have to meet my kids in person (false), I was told I would have to take SEVERAL trips for the relationship to even be considered real (false, I know personally of someone who traveled to Gambia to meet her fiance' THAT SHE MET ONLINE and only stayed for three days...guess who got approved for a K1 and will be here in July). 

I understand that Africa is considered a "high fraud" country, but the bottom line is, that doesn't mean he just absolutely can't come. The rule is that you have to have proof of meeting your significant other within 2 years of filing and show a "bona fide" relationship. I'm not a dumb person, I'm aware of what to look out for and I'd probably be the last person that could be tricked into anything. As I stated numerous times, my boyfriend has NEVER asked me for a DIME. He works his butt off everyday in his country to provide for himself because he's a good man. I'm willing to fight for our relationship and it's a shame the negativity I have received from people when they should know first hand what I'm about to go through.

I just felt the need to clarify that, I'm a very intelligent woman and I could very well meet someone in the USA, I'm successful and have recently completed nursing school amongst other things. My children like my partner. He's a great guy and he knew up front what he was about to get himself into when dealing with me because I don't sugar coat anything. 

[Quimat 154]

On 12/29/2020 at 11:14 AM, Jorgedig said:

As others have said, it will be an uphill battle to bring someone from a poor African country to the US without many visits, and lots of time spent in person.  Many American women have been victims of green card/marriage fraud, and as a result your case will be scrutinized closely through that lens.  

 

You'll want to think carefully about whether you can manage that time away from your kids and employment.  A week spent together in his country will not satisfy the consular officer.  Also - with four kids, they may want to see that he's met them in person.  Sadly, that would deter many men from a relationship, so it becomes an additional reason to show evidence of the bonafides.

Sure, it's an uphill battle bringing any foreign person from a foreign country to be on American soil. He's from a very poor African country, but he works a steady job, has never been married or attempted to receive a Visa to leave his country, and I will travel there in January to visit him and spend some time. Is it a lot of time? No. Does this mean I can't prove our relationship is real? Absolutely not. I'm totally fine with my case being scrutinized closely and he's very aware of what needs to happen. I'm no easy person to cross either. When I tell you I sent him through the ringer when I first met him, I did just that. I was VERY resistant to anything he said to me and didn't trust anything. It took a solid year for me to begin to let my guard down and he has been genuine. Yes, the country is poor, but that man has asked me for nothing but my time and my love. He talks to me, my kids, and my family OFTEN and he's no stranger to us.

 

I can manage the time away from my kids because they fully understand what is going on, furthermore, employment won't be an issue because I have tons of vacation time saved up, not to mention, I am very smart with my finances. Nothing will effect that. Have you spoken directly with a consular officer that says one visit isn't sufficient? Because the women I have met after taking a break from this site seem to be experiencing otherwise. What difference does it make if he meets my kids in person? I've not seen ONE person with children tell me their partner has to meet their children in person before it's considered "bonafide". My kids aren't a secret, he knew about them immediately and I finally let him talk to them once I let my guard down. My having four kids will not be a reason he can't come here. If it was, I'm sure I'm the first person that will have experienced it this way. 

[Quimat 154]

On 12/29/2020 at 2:36 PM, Boiler said:

Well we know very little about him as far as possibilities are concerned zero if he does not try.

No, you don't know much about him because my intentions aren't to put his whole life and information on this forum. I simply asked for advice for people who have been here before and can offer suggestions. 

[Quimat 154]

On 12/19/2020 at 1:17 PM, JeanneAdil said:

Great advice has been given from all above

but join the forum for those going thru Africa as it will give you the best place to understand the issues / the disappointed and the successful VJ members 

 

https://www.visajourney.com/forums/forum/89-africa-sub-saharan/

 

I married Moroccan in 2010 and it was difficult to get his visa as Africa immigrants face many issues

1  large age gaps /over 10 years

2.  religious differences

3.  family (mainly mother) from Africa does not approve of relationship especially if woman is divorced or can not have more children

4.  Gambia is very poor ( over a third of The Gambia's population lives below the poverty line: $1.25 USD per day.)

5.  Education is not free and that means some can not afford is so think what a Gambian man would do here for work/  The cost to pay all expenses for an elementary school child for one year is only $37.50.   hard to do on $1.25 a day income

 

and read the follow site as its an eye opener

 

https://tourismteacher.com/forums/topic/gambia-romance/

 

understand that when a USC does a fiancee visa,  he/she has to support the immigrant for a considerable time as the bene can not work/ study/ or volunteer until the USC applys for the AOS after marriage (taking anywhere from 6 months to 2 years for some)

and read the costs of K1 (fiancee) compared to CR1 (spouse ) visa as CR1 is cheaper in the long run

sorry i can't remember what VJ member posts the difference 

The site that you sent me wasn't an "eye opener" It was a bunch of women on a platform that seemed to have gotten played by the same group of Gambian men on Facebook who use fake names and sweet talk their ways into their pockets. I'm not easy to cross. I know the signs to watch for. He's shown none and frankly a year and a half is a long time for someone to fake who they are and what their intentions are in exchange for literally nothing because the only thing I have given him is my time, heart, and attention. Like I stated numerous times, this man hasn't asked me for anything. It's not fair to categorize someone based on where they live simply because of the BS that happens there. There are good men in Gambia and he's one of them.

Furthermore, I'm very aware of the K1 process and that I would have to support him for a while until his status is adjusted. That's why I have worked my butt off in nursing school to further my career which will allow me to do what I have to do until he can work.  

[Boiler 45,519]

2 hours ago, quisha said:

No, you don't know much about him because my intentions aren't to put his whole life and information on this forum. I simply asked for advice for people who have been here before and can offer suggestions. 

I visited the US quite a few times before I immigrated.