WHO PAYS FOR ALL THE PLANE TICKETS

[In Gods Hands 0]

First I would like to say.. I'm so sorry this has happenned to you and your husband. I say your husband also because whatever his intentions were... one day, inshallah, he will realize what a beautiful woman and life he could have had.. had he only shown more initiative, effort and love. We've heard one side of this... You know two sides... And since I think you said you've shared your side/view/feelings with your husband..then, he also knows two sides..but God sees and hears it all. My prayer and empathy goes out to you. Really hope you will heal and not give up on YOU.

Now.. I would also like to pose this question to other readers.. since the topic is money related..

(I posted this the other day..but no replies yet )

Salaam

Maybe this was already addressed but I can't find it...

If money is sent to spouse "beneficiary or petitioner" "male or female".. should receipts also be brought to interview? I read somewhere that beneficiary (female) brought in receipts of money sent to her by husband. This seemed to please interviewer.. along with other documents presented. I forgot what exactly was said.. but it was positive. Do you think this is "positive and good evidence" only when finances are being sent to beneficiary.. or "female" beneficiary.. or it doesn't matter whether it's beneficiary/petitioner/male or female???

Just wondering...

Edited July 2, 2007 by AhmadGwen4evr

[Mr_MoRoCCo 0]

I have something to say about this topic ..... Are you getting mad because you feel you are buying a husband .? are you feeling upset because you are supporting your love ?.... Ok !!!

I would like to say to those that the feel its already a scam... MOVE ON . Why are u still beeing with your love ? OR U cant , huh ? Let me just tell you something ... You have no respect for your love for your man .. because other wise you will not get amd at the whole situation from the begining and you still even seen how he will react once he will have a stabe work and a stable salary ... you are getting mad at a situation you put your self onto it .. and no one forced you to buy a ticket or send money .. SO i would like to say move on because your mariage will not lust .. Move on because it will be always a fight and always putting him down like he is a small ###### walking this earth .. You are buying a husband thats what you think .. . Oh dear that is a very bad way of thinking and u r already just in the begining ... I can tell ya why he dont wanna talk to you as much as before .. because he doesnt need a reminder each time of beeing a small insect needs help from you or beeing like a cat walking around your legs waiting to get food ...

I would like to mention That the right ... Supporting a husband that he doesnt have a job ... It's a sign of a good wife , caring and a loving one ....

Think about your husband as he is a part of you . Think about supporting him as you putting your mony on your saving account .. because no man will forget what his wife will do for him ... and let me tell you ... you Probably didt spend more than $ 10.000 , and if you gonna put your husband down because of that then i am sorry i wish i can know who is your husband so i can tell him find a way to get what you spent on him and give it back to you and then move on ... we might be from a poor countries .. but our pride is priceless .

[Mr_MoRoCCo 0]

That said, this is not about the money, it's about the relationship, imho. If there is genuine trust in the relationship, both will see the money as shared, and he will not pressure you into a financial situation that stresses you out this much (besides, my understanding is that debt is not acceptable in Islam).

Money is not "shared" in muslim relationships. Men are responsible for their family's expenses and women spend their money as they please.

Peezy what do you know about muslim marriage you dont know nothing .. you are just talking from the way u see things but let me tell you ...

Its not wrong for a female to help her husband in time of needs ... Men if they have money they will take ntheir wives to buy golds instead of putting the money on their account and in return .. in males time of need because the wife can be veryyyy caring and i mean that ... --Im very glad that my wife she have all of that as a muslim woman -Even sometimes she still mention the past - but its the culture as human--- . to seel her gold to help him out because she know that once he will step up on the time of needs he will buy her all what she lost and even more ... because that is what make the marriage work .. so please before putting more oil on a fire ... go to a library and read about a muslim marriages .. Yes I agree the men can do all the expenses.. Not because he have to but he wants to do that because it is all about a pride .. and theres nothing wrong for the wife to help her husband in time of needs and its a islam rules as well ... but to tell u the truth peezy your way of thinking about things makes me worried about your husband ..

[sara535 15]

I dont know all the rules of Islamic marriage, but I do know the reality of MY situation is that for right now, I make more money than my husband. I have a longer work history and more experience, thats just the way it is. I know sometimes it bothers his pride but its simply the way it is and we are both grateful for the jobs we have and the money we make. No one here in our house is keeping score about who has spent what. Having said that, we have a baby on the way and I will be very happy if a day comes when he makes enough that I dont have to work, but if that day never comes then so be it, we'll keep on making the best of what we have .

[sarah and hicham 3]

I have something to say about this topic ..... Are you getting mad because you feel you are buying a husband .? are you feeling upset because you are supporting your love ?.... Ok !!!

I would like to say to those that the feel its already a scam... MOVE ON . Why are u still beeing with your love ? OR U cant , huh ? Let me just tell you something ... You have no respect for your love for your man .. because other wise you will not get amd at the whole situation from the begining and you still even seen how he will react once he will have a stabe work and a stable salary ... you are getting mad at a situation you put your self onto it .. and no one forced you to buy a ticket or send money .. SO i would like to say move on because your mariage will not lust .. Move on because it will be always a fight and always putting him down like he is a small ###### walking this earth .. You are buying a husband thats what you think .. . Oh dear that is a very bad way of thinking and u r already just in the begining ... I can tell ya why he dont wanna talk to you as much as before .. because he doesnt need a reminder each time of beeing a small insect needs help from you or beeing like a cat walking around your legs waiting to get food ...

I would like to mention That the right ... Supporting a husband that he doesnt have a job ... It's a sign of a good wife , caring and a loving one ....

Think about your husband as he is a part of you . Think about supporting him as you putting your mony on your saving account .. because no man will forget what his wife will do for him ... and let me tell you ... you Probably didt spend more than $ 10.000 , and if you gonna put your husband down because of that then i am sorry i wish i can know who is your husband so i can tell him find a way to get what you spent on him and give it back to you and then move on ... we might be from a poor countries .. but our pride is priceless .

I don't even know where to start with this one.

[melly 0]

I'm sure Peezy will be along to handle it herself.

*takes cover*

[Mr_MoRoCCo 0]

I have something to say about this topic ..... Are you getting mad because you feel you are buying a husband .? are you feeling upset because you are supporting your love ?.... Ok !!!

I would like to say to those that the feel its already a scam... MOVE ON . Why are u still beeing with your love ? OR U cant , huh ? Let me just tell you something ... You have no respect for your love for your man .. because other wise you will not get amd at the whole situation from the begining and you still even seen how he will react once he will have a stabe work and a stable salary ... you are getting mad at a situation you put your self onto it .. and no one forced you to buy a ticket or send money .. SO i would like to say move on because your mariage will not lust .. Move on because it will be always a fight and always putting him down like he is a small ###### walking this earth .. You are buying a husband thats what you think .. . Oh dear that is a very bad way of thinking and u r already just in the begining ... I can tell ya why he dont wanna talk to you as much as before .. because he doesnt need a reminder each time of beeing a small insect needs help from you or beeing like a cat walking around your legs waiting to get food ...

I would like to mention That the right ... Supporting a husband that he doesnt have a job ... It's a sign of a good wife , caring and a loving one ....

Think about your husband as he is a part of you . Think about supporting him as you putting your mony on your saving account .. because no man will forget what his wife will do for him ... and let me tell you ... you Probably didt spend more than $ 10.000 , and if you gonna put your husband down because of that then i am sorry i wish i can know who is your husband so i can tell him find a way to get what you spent on him and give it back to you and then move on ... we might be from a poor countries .. but our pride is priceless .

I don't even know where to start with this one.

You dont have to know how to start .. because this is not for you ... because you are just like peezy ... and other ugly mouth .. And i want to ask you ... From a very very long time a been asking my self ... how your husband and peezy's husband stand you ? .. So i would like to ask you directly now .

[sarah and hicham 3]

I have something to say about this topic ..... Are you getting mad because you feel you are buying a husband .? are you feeling upset because you are supporting your love ?.... Ok !!!

I would like to say to those that the feel its already a scam... MOVE ON . Why are u still beeing with your love ? OR U cant , huh ? Let me just tell you something ... You have no respect for your love for your man .. because other wise you will not get amd at the whole situation from the begining and you still even seen how he will react once he will have a stabe work and a stable salary ... you are getting mad at a situation you put your self onto it .. and no one forced you to buy a ticket or send money .. SO i would like to say move on because your mariage will not lust .. Move on because it will be always a fight and always putting him down like he is a small ###### walking this earth .. You are buying a husband thats what you think .. . Oh dear that is a very bad way of thinking and u r already just in the begining ... I can tell ya why he dont wanna talk to you as much as before .. because he doesnt need a reminder each time of beeing a small insect needs help from you or beeing like a cat walking around your legs waiting to get food ...

I would like to mention That the right ... Supporting a husband that he doesnt have a job ... It's a sign of a good wife , caring and a loving one ....

Think about your husband as he is a part of you . Think about supporting him as you putting your mony on your saving account .. because no man will forget what his wife will do for him ... and let me tell you ... you Probably didt spend more than $ 10.000 , and if you gonna put your husband down because of that then i am sorry i wish i can know who is your husband so i can tell him find a way to get what you spent on him and give it back to you and then move on ... we might be from a poor countries .. but our pride is priceless .

I don't even know where to start with this one.

You dont have to know how to start .. because this is not for you ... because you are just like peezy ... and other ugly mouth .. And i want to ask you ... From a very very long time a been asking my self ... how your husband and peezy's husband stand you ? .. So i would like to ask you directly now .

Hmmm, interesting. It seems as if you have joined VJ pretty recently.

Do I know you and do you have a reason to be so rude to me? Who are you?

[Mr_MoRoCCo 0]

I have something to say about this topic ..... Are you getting mad because you feel you are buying a husband .? are you feeling upset because you are supporting your love ?.... Ok !!!

I would like to say to those that the feel its already a scam... MOVE ON . Why are u still beeing with your love ? OR U cant , huh ? Let me just tell you something ... You have no respect for your love for your man .. because other wise you will not get amd at the whole situation from the begining and you still even seen how he will react once he will have a stabe work and a stable salary ... you are getting mad at a situation you put your self onto it .. and no one forced you to buy a ticket or send money .. SO i would like to say move on because your mariage will not lust .. Move on because it will be always a fight and always putting him down like he is a small ###### walking this earth .. You are buying a husband thats what you think .. . Oh dear that is a very bad way of thinking and u r already just in the begining ... I can tell ya why he dont wanna talk to you as much as before .. because he doesnt need a reminder each time of beeing a small insect needs help from you or beeing like a cat walking around your legs waiting to get food ...

I would like to mention That the right ... Supporting a husband that he doesnt have a job ... It's a sign of a good wife , caring and a loving one ....

Think about your husband as he is a part of you . Think about supporting him as you putting your mony on your saving account .. because no man will forget what his wife will do for him ... and let me tell you ... you Probably didt spend more than $ 10.000 , and if you gonna put your husband down because of that then i am sorry i wish i can know who is your husband so i can tell him find a way to get what you spent on him and give it back to you and then move on ... we might be from a poor countries .. but our pride is priceless .

I don't even know where to start with this one.

You dont have to know how to start .. because this is not for you ... because you are just like peezy ... and other ugly mouth .. And i want to ask you ... From a very very long time a been asking my self ... how your husband and peezy's husband stand you ? .. So i would like to ask you directly now .

Hmmm, interesting. It seems as if you have joined VJ pretty recently.

Do I know you and do you have a reason to be so rude to me? Who are you?

I m not trying to be rude to you .. And you dont know me !! but I notice that You and Peezy are so much alike which i been reading most of all posting in VJ and i am sorry to say I know how rude you are to people and so pezzy as well ... So to be clear I just dont like your way of thinking and your predjugement.

[mybackpages 0]

but I notice that You and Peezy are so much alike which i been reading most of all posting in VJ and i am sorry to say I know how rude you are to people and so pezzy as well ... So to be clear I just dont like your way of thinking and your predjugement.

Oh this old rumor again. Come on people. Neither Sarah nor Peezy need to hide behind some alternate ID to say what is on their mind. Reminds me of the MOroccan proverb- you should believe what you see with your own eyes and not what your ears hear.

[mybackpages 0]

That said, this is not about the money, it's about the relationship, imho. If there is genuine trust in the relationship, both will see the money as shared, and he will not pressure you into a financial situation that stresses you out this much (besides, my understanding is that debt is not acceptable in Islam).

Money is not "shared" in muslim relationships. Men are responsible for their family's expenses and women spend their money as they please.

Peezy what do you know about muslim marriage you dont know nothing .. you are just talking from the way u see things but let me tell you ...

Its not wrong for a female to help her husband in time of needs ... Men if they have money they will take ntheir wives to buy golds instead of putting the money on their account and in return .. in males time of need because the wife can be veryyyy caring and i mean that ... --Im very glad that my wife she have all of that as a muslim woman -Even sometimes she still mention the past - but its the culture as human--- . to seel her gold to help him out because she know that once he will step up on the time of needs he will buy her all what she lost and even more ... because that is what make the marriage work .. so please before putting more oil on a fire ... go to a library and read about a muslim marriages .. Yes I agree the men can do all the expenses.. Not because he have to but he wants to do that because it is all about a pride .. and theres nothing wrong for the wife to help her husband in time of needs and its a islam rules as well ... but to tell u the truth peezy your way of thinking about things makes me worried about your husband ..

Maybe you should study Islamic jurisprudence before you make statements about things like this. I was the first one to state this rule of law, but I notice my post was left alone and you took the opportunity to judge peezy. She never said it was wrong for a wife to help her husband. She said exactly what I said. Ther is no obligation on a wife to provide for the household. And you are wrong when you say that men can do all the expenses not because he has to but because he wants to. Under Islamic law he has to. What he wants is irrelevant.

Again, no one is stating that the wife can not contribute or if she sees her family has some need that she spends her money ont he household expenses. the law states that she is not obligated and can not be forced by her husband.

This Islamic law was put in place to protect women.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

[Lance27 19]

Let me tell you this... and let me just tell you all something... and I'll tell you this... this is interesting

Did I already tell ya this? sorry... back to the topic.

Edited July 2, 2007 by Lance27

[Caladan 19]

How convenient for Mr. Morocco to be able to wrap up taking your wife's money and refusing to call her as just the way a Muslim man is. Don't worry, American sweeties, your man is supposed to be an inconsiderate ####### and you're supposed to give him all your cash. If you don't do that, you're not respecting your man.

In other news, I'm selling bridges. Come on.

[Marry American 0]

I paid for my first ticket to Maroc. He had money saved and spent it all the first week I was there. The second week I spent my own money for the things I wanted.

I also bought him an XBOX 360 and two games. Now it is here in our home (my initial plan to begin with).

On my second trip there, He bought the ticket and paid for everything there. We could have done more things in Maroc, but I was not spending any of my money, so we did what his budget would allow.

As far as coming to America, he paid for his visa everything (including his plane ticket). He thought I did not have any money. I spent an absorbant amount of money calling Maroc (over 10,000 like an idiot). I also blamed him for all that money spent. So when times got ruff for him... (not to be sounding harsh) oh well. He knew about the visa and should have been saving more money. I was not going to bail him out or help him (that is what he thought). I would have helped if needed. I was going to offer my assitance, but I did not have to. He also had a deadline to come here. When he picked up the visa, he was given two weeks to be here. Why? Because he thought he could get himself together and come 6 weeks later-NO! He knew about the visa, I had been telling him since January to be prepared. He had two weeks to leave Maroc and be here with me. It was hard for him, but he was successful acroos the board.

On the other subjects:

My husband and I communicated by computer every day for hours. We talked on the phone daily too. He called me from the computer, with calling cards, from pay phones, and from his cell phone. I also called him every evening .

I will not at any time take care of a man. I will not send any man money either. Work and bring money home. However, my money is of use for our household and our enjoyment. My husband and I are on the same page.

ps I blamed him for the phone calls because he should have gotten the internet, but he insisted he did not want to get a contract because he would be leaving to come to America. I felt like he should have just gotten the internet. Oh well. He made it clear to me when he got here, that he did not take money out of my pocket..he did not make me call him..so technically it is not his fault. I'm over it now.

My nickel!