WHO PAYS FOR ALL THE PLANE TICKETS

[Caladan 19]

Fine, they were just friends while she was married, he learns she's having problems getting her husband to talk to her once he finds out he's not eligible to come to the U.S., and now this 'friend' wants to be more than friends. Methinks the friend thinks she's an easy mark, not that he's just fallen in love with her.

Also, while the experience of many women here suggests that Moroccan men, to the extent that you can generalize, are hard workers who like to provide for their families, between the fact that Morocco isn't a wealthy nation and the exchange rate, you're not going to find a Moroccan sugar daddy.

[doodlebug 3]

I wouldn't go near a chatroom if the happened to me. I'd be so scared off by these men I wouldn't even want one as a "friend". Don't they all start off as "friends"?

If I had been burned by someone overseas, I wouldn't immediately jump to the next overseas guy that made romantic overtures. Please take some time to let yourself heal and think.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

But she didn't immediately jump...she has been talking to the Morroccon while she's been married.....

I agree. But I wonder if the husband found out about this freind? I know my husband would FLIP and FREAK OUT if he even for one second thought I was talking to a male friend that I hadn't known for a while from another country online. If it were an old h.s. friend from here or something like that then that is one thing but talking to men online when you are married is a whole nuther ball of wax. I think honestly my husband would end it if he found out about something like that and quite frankly I would to but that's just me.

[morocco4ever 63]

I wish I could afford to pay for tickets, I'd have been to Egypt a looooong time ago.

My fiance is paying for the tickets and also for everything while I'm there for a month. He has the ticket money, just not the other money. Insha'allah it will only be another 4 months or so.

To the original poster, I'm sorry for your situation. It's a little confusing from all of your posts, but no one deserves to go through that.

Oh my gosh four more months???!!!! Melly you are the MOST patient person I have ever known!!!!!

I went over to a friends house tonight. We were talking and she was asking what I was waiting for on the trip to Egypt. When I told her money, she offered to pay for my flight. As a GIFT! Oddly enough, I told her I'd have to think about it. That's a pretty big gift.

Wow....that is quite a friend! Whether you accept the gift or not it sounds to me like you already have a gift with a friend like this.

Fine, they were just friends while she was married, he learns she's having problems getting her husband to talk to her once he finds out he's not eligible to come to the U.S., and now this 'friend' wants to be more than friends. Methinks the friend thinks she's an easy mark, not that he's just fallen in love with her.

Also, while the experience of many women here suggests that Moroccan men, to the extent that you can generalize, are hard workers who like to provide for their families, between the fact that Morocco isn't a wealthy nation and the exchange rate, you're not going to find a Moroccan sugar daddy.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore my husband, but one thing I have noticed with Moroccan men is that they have the easy life while the woman does all of the work. If I was searching a sugar daddy it would NEVER be from there....it would just plain be too much work.

I wouldn't go near a chatroom if the happened to me. I'd be so scared off by these men I wouldn't even want one as a "friend". Don't they all start off as "friends"?

If I had been burned by someone overseas, I wouldn't immediately jump to the next overseas guy that made romantic overtures. Please take some time to let yourself heal and think.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

But she didn't immediately jump...she has been talking to the Morroccon while she's been married.....

I agree. But I wonder if the husband found out about this freind? I know my husband would FLIP and FREAK OUT if he even for one second thought I was talking to a male friend that I hadn't known for a while from another country online. If it were an old h.s. friend from here or something like that then that is one thing but talking to men online when you are married is a whole nuther ball of wax. I think honestly my husband would end it if he found out about something like that and quite frankly I would to but that's just me.

Exactly my thought. My husband would go balistic on me, as I would on him if he did the same.

[mybackpages 0]

Also, while the experience of many women here suggests that Moroccan men, to the extent that you can generalize, are hard workers who like to provide for their families, between the fact that Morocco isn't a wealthy nation and the exchange rate, you're not going to find a Moroccan sugar daddy.

Okay but you can. the problem is you need to be in country to find them. They don't cruise the internet. I've met a couple usually with French or Spanish girlfriends.

[sereia 0]

LOL so true, mbp!!!

[SaadBell 0]

Well, first off, if my husband really cared about me, maybe he should call me once in a while. As for talking to other men online, I am interested in different countries and cultures and love meeting new people. I am a social worker thinking of joining the peace corp so i love to talk to all kinds of different people, never to hook up or look for a husband. Plus while in Egypt my husband would go out for like three to four hours everynight with his friends and I stayed at home with his mother and uncle and the babies. I figured this is the custom of men to go out with their friends. I AM FOOLISH I KNOW, BUT TOO DAMN NICE ALL THE TIME. That is what my family and friends always say about me, i am too accepting and kind. I also used to have trust for mankind, now i am seeing what reality is and it is ugly. As far as american men, i am not what they want for some reason. I just think i am just not good enough and so i will give up on this whole process. I know the moroccan doesn't love me, i love his family and sisters they are so kind and sweet, when he calls to say hello he puts on the whole family. But after my experience with the family of Mohameds in Egypt, I now wonder if they are just nice cause they see $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and green cards. I hate that i am starting to lose my trust in everyone i meet. I think what I loved about the arab culture is their treatment of women, and how they care for their wifes and it is like the old fashion American when the man would be the head of the household and the women stayed home and cared for the home. I know very old fashion ideas, but to be honest I never weatned to have a career, just have a happy family home life with a loving husband. I know my dreams are all gone now, and that will always be just a fantasy. So I will go back to school again to get my masters degree and just be alone with my little dog, which is the thing i use to fear the most, becoming the bitter old women in the neighborhood. I really do have a big heart, same reason i chose the kind of work i do, not many people want to work with teenage male offeners who have a history of violence. I sometimes think of what has happen to me and I become so overwhelmed and depressed. I guess this is life's way of telling me I am to be alone forever, I will always miss the closeness and the feeling of safey by being loved. I know i didn't have that with Mohamed, but at least I had that feeling for just a little bit and it was great. All I can say is another mistake and someone else who has taken advantage of my good heart. This experience has changed me profoundly, and not in a good way either, it has shown me that you can't trust anyone, because words mean nothing.

I wouldn't go near a chatroom if the happened to me. I'd be so scared off by these men I wouldn't even want one as a "friend". Don't they all start off as "friends"?

If I had been burned by someone overseas, I wouldn't immediately jump to the next overseas guy that made romantic overtures. Please take some time to let yourself heal and think.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

But she didn't immediately jump...she has been talking to the Morroccon while she's been married.....

I agree. But I wonder if the husband found out about this freind? I know my husband would FLIP and FREAK OUT if he even for one second thought I was talking to a male friend that I hadn't known for a while from another country online. If it were an old h.s. friend from here or something like that then that is one thing but talking to men online when you are married is a whole nuther ball of wax. I think honestly my husband would end it if he found out about something like that and quite frankly I would to but that's just me.

[morocco4ever 63]

Actually you sound a lot like I did after my divorce with my first husband (american). People were amazed at how hard and mean I became. I started going to clubs, not to pick up on men but to play with them. Give them that little bit of hope that I was interested (by then I had figured out what they all wanted), then yanked it away. Just one of the many games I played because of my bitterness and hate for men at that stage of my life.

Eventually I grew bored of the game and just did the mom thing for awhile, with an occasional game just for fun. In fact, when I met my husband I thought he wanted only a visa so I even played with him until I realized that he was very sincere.

The reason I am telling you this is to point out that it is okay to be pissed off and angry, you have every right. But time heals all wounds, and it will heal this one. You can bring back your kindness when the time is right, you will just be better skilled at recognizing the signs, and you will have the confidence to walk away from the bad ones before they get into your heart.

As for your husband leaving for 4 hours a night, well your instinct was right on the mark. That is not right. Once you are married thats it for the nightly whatevers with the friends. His place is home with you, or take you out. My husband only went to the store without me, and only when he had 1 item to buy. Now that he is here we go out as a couple. In fact there were times I told him to go without me and he wouldn't. These are just a sprinkling of the signs you look for at the beginning. The key is to give them enough rope to hang themselves. If their intentions are wrong they will.

Go ahead and rant and rave all you want, you have every right. But in the end use this anger for building your self esteem rather than your bitterness. I promise you will live a much happier life if you do.

[Clarky and Tarah 0]

As for me, if things fall through with Hamid, I would never become involved with anyone outside USA again because of financial reasons and all of the effort involved. A person can easily go broke visiting fiance, etc. I try to look at each trip as a vacation, but always end up spending much more than planned. My shopping addiction doesn't help...lol. Like someone before me, I would give my attention to my dog...always loyal and faithful.

Same here. This is an extremely long and hard process, if things didn't work out with my fiance I would definitely keep my attentions focused inside the country.

There are plenty of good, traditional American men, you just have to find one. Getting a guy closer to home would make it easier to find time to be with him. I couldn't imagine talking for only a few minutes each day, or not at all.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck. You deserve someone who will give you attention and love. Finances shouldn't be all one sided, both members need to contribute, somehow.

[SimoFati 0]

Fine, they were just friends while she was married, he learns she's having problems getting her husband to talk to her once he finds out he's not eligible to come to the U.S., and now this 'friend' wants to be more than friends. Methinks the friend thinks she's an easy mark, not that he's just fallen in love with her.

Also, while the experience of many women here suggests that Moroccan men, to the extent that you can generalize, are hard workers who like to provide for their families, between the fact that Morocco isn't a wealthy nation and the exchange rate, you're not going to find a Moroccan sugar daddy.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore my husband, but one thing I have noticed with Moroccan men is that they have the easy life while the woman does all of the work. If I was searching a sugar daddy it would NEVER be from there....it would just plain be too much work.

I am sorry to tell this as a moroccan woman married to a moroccan man....

growing up in morocco when a guy go out with a girl ..it is his call to pay when a man is married to a woman it is his call to pay for all expences (rent bills ...)

I can tell you that because most moroccan are muslims and a muslim man is required to provide for his wife..now even if the woman is rich she has the right to her money and she is free to do what she is pleased with it

now I feel like with my husband I had made a full circle (I was married to an american ) ...he knows everything about my finance and he is not pleased since I am in debt (long story)

he payed pretty much for everything and when we went to morocco he told me if I use any of those card it wont be pretty YEA he had even giving me money to give to my family payed for our 2 days wedding and our trip in europe and morocco. I payed for my expensive trip tickets and couple gifts for him ....trust me he is not rich but he is very good with money

now he want me out of this debt ####### before he gets here (I totaly agree and love him more for giving me the support)because we want to start from a positive situation financialy..so we can start a family

I am working 2 jobs and on my way to be free from these credit cards traps..he choose to send me money from time to time instead of gifts

[AInfante-Saraireh 0]

I paid for both trips including the trip my husband made here. He just didn't make that kind of money. He wants me to make more money here and so does he. I went totally bankrupt from the two trips, and they were also close together.

[monnik 0]

I don't know how well my experience helps here, but here is how our finances are taken care of:

I paid for my first flight here in November. Since then, I haven't spent a penny. Not even on gifts for my friends and my family. I still have the same currency I stepped off of the plane with.

He and his family have paid every filing fee for immigration, my doctor visits, dental visits (I had my braces removed here - as well as cleanings and all 4 wisdom teeth pulled), food, new clothes, housing, vacations (to Alexandria and North Coast), small trips (theme parks, museums, visiting pyramids) , and everything else in between.

My husband will not take any money from me. He won't ask me for money. He won't even discuss it. I think it is part of Egyptian culture. Even though he is not a Muslim, he was raised in a Muslim country, and I think that is where the ideas come from. Or I could just say he is a gentleman. That about covers it.

I am sorry for all of the bad experiences of the OP. I don't think that paying for someone is necessarily a bad thing because you do it out of love. Not because you want it to be repaid.

[peezey 0]

That said, this is not about the money, it's about the relationship, imho. If there is genuine trust in the relationship, both will see the money as shared, and he will not pressure you into a financial situation that stresses you out this much (besides, my understanding is that debt is not acceptable in Islam).

Money is not "shared" in muslim relationships. Men are responsible for their family's expenses and women spend their money as they please.

[peezey 0]

If you married to him and want to truly be traditional, your money is also his and you wouldn't be keeping tally.

uh actually no. the tradition is my money (the wife) is my money. His money is our money.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ???

thank you god my wife doesn't think like this .

A wife's money in a muslim marriage is hers to do with as she pleases. The man is responsible for taking care of his family financially. There is no argument over this, it's very clear.

[doodlebug 3]

I don't know how well my experience helps here, but here is how our finances are taken care of:

I paid for my first flight here in November. Since then, I haven't spent a penny. Not even on gifts for my friends and my family. I still have the same currency I stepped off of the plane with.

He and his family have paid every filing fee for immigration, my doctor visits, dental visits (I had my braces removed here - as well as cleanings and all 4 wisdom teeth pulled), food, new clothes, housing, vacations (to Alexandria and North Coast), small trips (theme parks, museums, visiting pyramids) , and everything else in between.

My husband will not take any money from me. He won't ask me for money. He won't even discuss it. I think it is part of Egyptian culture. Even though he is not a Muslim, he was raised in a Muslim country, and I think that is where the ideas come from. Or I could just say he is a gentleman. That about covers it.

I am sorry for all of the bad experiences of the OP. I don't think that paying for someone is necessarily a bad thing because you do it out of love. Not because you want it to be repaid.

monnik do you live in Egypt now? How's the heat? lol

[monnik 0]

monnik do you live in Egypt now? How's the heat? lol

Yeah. We live here until the visa is approved. Heat? It's not bad for me. I'm indoors almost all of the time. But, the power went out the other evening for about 3-4 hours and we did a little sizzling in here. We just got back from Alex, and I love the cool breeze there, but I hate the sticky humidity from the sea. I prefer the dry heat in Cairo. Oh well, I'm rambling. Thanks for asking.