WHO PAYS FOR ALL THE PLANE TICKETS

[slbois 0]

Unfortunately there are alot of men who see VISA stamped to an American womans forehead. I have been approached two times in Morocco, one time by a shuttle bus driver in Casablanca who out and asked me to marry him after 10 minutes of chit chat on the way to my hotel. This was after the fact I disclosed that I was married to a Moroccan man. He later then apologized on the way to the airport the next morning and asked if I have any single friends or relatives who would be interested in marriage....

I have even been approached by men here on VJ. Hmmmm......wonder if they got the memo that most women coming to VJ are already married or have fiancees.......

Thanks for all your advice and caring, things like this always happen to me. Everyone has great stories and than I do the same thing and get screwed. I know about sharing and love, but most men would be embaressed to have women pay all the things, at least the ones I know. Some thing about pride, since this has happen to me I am starting to wonder if this is just about money and who can pay the most for a man. What if a women didn't have money to get plane ticket, would the man still be all hot and ready to marry if he had to work and get that money? To top it off, I met this man from Morocco, and just chatting as friends for now over a year. Now guess what, he loves me and wants to me to come to Morocco to marry him. Of course he swears he truly loves me and the rest of the script that all starts to sound the same. What is it with these men do I look the cash cow here???? He knows all about what has happen to me, but sometimes i swear it is like listening to the same empty promises I have heard before. I told him we are friends, but my trust is now gone and I can't completely trust anyone anymore. This man does call me everyday, I don't want him too anymore cause i feel like he is trying too hard. Here again, even if I wanted something with him, once again the money falls all on me, I am the one that loses all, the man loses nothing. I am the one worried about all the bills, while he sits there and waits for me to come up with the money. If I ever did do this again, I will be the man and call all the shots. I will have the control and will do what ever I want, hey I am footing the bill I get all the say. Yes I sound really mean now, but trust me, I have been burned and burned badly. This guy puts on his family and all have to talk to me everyday, and I am trying to trust but deep down I feel they all want one thing, greencard. His friend married a girl from America and they live now in las vegas, of course she paid all the stuff and already had a home, so it was all taken care of. I mean I understand love, and giving, but you can't drain somebody that you say you love, and worry about. He is not too worried about me slaving away working with male offenders, where I could get killed at any moment. Oh and would he allow his mother, sisters any of the girls do all the work while man stays around and waits for money, I very seriously doubt that. So do they just expect American women to get their check books and book flights back and forth and do all that. Here I wonder, what happens when he enters the work force and starts to see American women, and talks to them, will he stay, or will he fall in love and leave her. Now the way I feel I don't see how this will really last longer than maybe 5 years. He knows how i feel about all this and he keeps bugging me to come over and marry him, "I will care for you forever," yea right, until my money or I find a really young beautiful american women to hook up with. I am sure your lives with your husbands will be wonderful, I think it is me, and maybe I should just give up on love all together. Sounds like a plan, cause if I want a man like that I need be the husband and let him stay home and rest. I bet that would be like heaven for them, a sugar mama taking care of them while they stay home and wait for green card. Too bad I can't find me a sugar daddy, maybe love is overrated. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest, I just wondered if women doing all work is a tradition and that it is expected or if this is just my experience. I truly wish all of you a blessed marriage full of love and happiness, as for me, I guess it is not in the cards.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Unfortunately there are alot of men who see VISA stamped to an American womans forehead. I have been approached two times in Morocco, one time by a shuttle bus driver in Casablanca who out and asked me to marry him after 10 minutes of chit chat on the way to my hotel. This was after the fact I disclosed that I was married to a Moroccan man. He later then apologized on the way to the airport the next morning and asked if I have any single friends or relatives who would be interested in marriage....

I have even been approached by men here on VJ. Hmmmm......wonder if they got the memo that most women coming to VJ are already married or have fiancees.......

Oy, that doesn't look good, now does it?

[sereia 0]

approached by men on vj?

[allousa 1]

I wish I could afford to pay for tickets, I'd have been to Egypt a looooong time ago.

My fiance is paying for the tickets and also for everything while I'm there for a month. He has the ticket money, just not the other money. Insha'allah it will only be another 4 months or so.

To the original poster, I'm sorry for your situation. It's a little confusing from all of your posts, but no one deserves to go through that.

Oh my gosh four more months???!!!! Melly you are the MOST patient person I have ever known!!!!!

Doodle, I have only gotten to see my husband for two weeks each year since 2003.

I'm hoping that we will have approval from Rome soon and he will be home by the end of the year.

[slbois 0]

approached by men on vj?

Yeah, hopefully they are only losers looking to pick up visa's and don't have significant others.

[Clarky and Tarah 0]

From what you're saying it sounds like the trust in your relationship is already gone, not that I blame you. In my opinion there is no point in continuing a marriage when there is no trust. I for one would go CRAZY if I didn't speak to my fiance on a regular basis. We talk for several hours every single day (except for this weekend when he's going to Poland and all I will get is a phone call, sniff ). I agree that you should find out whether or not the marriage was legal, and if it is you may want to go about disolving it. As for the relationship you are considering starting with another non US citizen- maybe you should try something a little closer to home. It would be much less of a financial obligation and you could keep in contact much easier.

I'm sorry you're going though this. I'm sure things will start to get better. Hang in there.

I just thought I'd add that I know my fiance isn't from MENA, but I wanted to add my two cents anyway.

[sarah and hicham 3]

approached by men on vj?

Yeah, hopefully they are only losers looking to pick up visa's and don't have significant others.

That's a pretty stupid technique for obvious reasons.

[sarah and hicham 3]

The living arrangements are the same here, his sister moves to the family home and gives us complete control of her nice house, so we just come and go as we please, or over to the family to eat or they bring meals to us etc....they also bought things for me to bring back to family and friends...they are far from rich but make up for it in kindness

Oh cool. In your picture is that your fiance's Mom at her house? It looks nice.

[Caladan 19]

If I had been burned by someone overseas, I wouldn't immediately jump to the next overseas guy that made romantic overtures. Please take some time to let yourself heal and think.

[sarah and hicham 3]

If I had been burned by someone overseas, I wouldn't immediately jump to the next overseas guy that made romantic overtures. Please take some time to let yourself heal and think.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

[Philomena 0]

I went to Egypt in August and as time went on, he just stopped writing me, never calls me, says he is busy with his sick mother and uncle. This could all be true, once in a while he will leave me a message on my yahoo im. I last talked to my husband about a month ago for all of five minutes, and that was it. So I am just assuming he is not interested and soon he will just fade away. Do i feel angry, oh yea, I spent a ton of money and now i am sitting in debt and with a really bitter taste in my mouth. I feel like a fool, all my friends told me, dont' you pay your way, but I was in love and he said all the right things and I went to Egypt. His family and friends all were great and all, but now I get the feeling if you don't have the money, they are not interested. I am happy it works for all of you, but i am a social worker and don't make that kind of money, plus i am paying for my daughter to go to University of Florida which is not cheap. So yea, now i wonder if you want to marry one of these guys, you better have some cash. That is why i am asking, so any feedback would be great.

Heart broken

Oh wow that is awful!!! Had you already started the visa process too? I don't blame you for being bitter!! I would definitely demand a divorce. What kind of marraige is that??? Busy with a sick relative or not, it does not take much effort whatsoever to get on a computer and at least drop a note or two each day. Trust me, my husband has had his share of responsibilities since we met....his father died during Ramadan leaving him the sole provider of his sisters, the gov't is telling him they will knock down the building they were in so he had to move them to a new place temporarily and now every day they are waiting to see where they will be moved to since the gov't controls their rent, etc. etc. etc. I could go on and on but through all that we normally talk three to four times/day whether it by via phonecall or text or internet. If I heard from him 5 min/ month that would be the end of that and I'd just give up on men and become a cat lady since this whole visa process has sucked the ever livin life outta me!!!!!

"If I heard from him 5 min/ month that would be the end of that and I'd just give up on men and become a cat lady since this whole visa process has sucked the ever livin life outta me!!!!! "

I can totally relate, Doodle!

[melly 0]

I wish I could afford to pay for tickets, I'd have been to Egypt a looooong time ago.

My fiance is paying for the tickets and also for everything while I'm there for a month. He has the ticket money, just not the other money. Insha'allah it will only be another 4 months or so.

To the original poster, I'm sorry for your situation. It's a little confusing from all of your posts, but no one deserves to go through that.

Oh my gosh four more months???!!!! Melly you are the MOST patient person I have ever known!!!!!

I went over to a friends house tonight. We were talking and she was asking what I was waiting for on the trip to Egypt. When I told her money, she offered to pay for my flight. As a GIFT! Oddly enough, I told her I'd have to think about it. That's a pretty big gift.

[Marriednow 4]

I wish I could afford to pay for tickets, I'd have been to Egypt a looooong time ago.

My fiance is paying for the tickets and also for everything while I'm there for a month. He has the ticket money, just not the other money. Insha'allah it will only be another 4 months or so.

To the original poster, I'm sorry for your situation. It's a little confusing from all of your posts, but no one deserves to go through that.

Oh my gosh four more months???!!!! Melly you are the MOST patient person I have ever known!!!!!

I went over to a friends house tonight. We were talking and she was asking what I was waiting for on the trip to Egypt. When I told her money, she offered to pay for my flight. As a GIFT! Oddly enough, I told her I'd have to think about it. That's a pretty big gift.

As for me, if things fall through with Hamid, I would never become involved with anyone outside USA again because of financial reasons and all of the effort involved. A person can easily go broke visiting fiance, etc. I try to look at each trip as a vacation, but always end up spending much more than planned. My shopping addiction doesn't help...lol. Like someone before me, I would give my attention to my dog...always loyal and faithful.

[doodlebug 3]

If I had been burned by someone overseas, I wouldn't immediately jump to the next overseas guy that made romantic overtures. Please take some time to let yourself heal and think.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

But she didn't immediately jump...she has been talking to the Morroccon while she's been married.....

[ya falaha! 0]

I wouldn't go near a chatroom if the happened to me. I'd be so scared off by these men I wouldn't even want one as a "friend". Don't they all start off as "friends"?

If I had been burned by someone overseas, I wouldn't immediately jump to the next overseas guy that made romantic overtures. Please take some time to let yourself heal and think.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

But she didn't immediately jump...she has been talking to the Morroccon while she's been married.....