WHO PAYS FOR ALL THE PLANE TICKETS

[Tarik 11]

If you married to him and want to truly be traditional, your money is also his and you wouldn't be keeping tally.

uh actually no. the tradition is my money (the wife) is my money. His money is our money.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ???

thank you god my wife doesn't think like this .

[SaadBell 0]

Thanks for all your advice and caring, things like this always happen to me. Everyone has great stories and than I do the same thing and get screwed. I know about sharing and love, but most men would be embaressed to have women pay all the things, at least the ones I know. Some thing about pride, since this has happen to me I am starting to wonder if this is just about money and who can pay the most for a man. What if a women didn't have money to get plane ticket, would the man still be all hot and ready to marry if he had to work and get that money? To top it off, I met this man from Morocco, and just chatting as friends for now over a year. Now guess what, he loves me and wants to me to come to Morocco to marry him. Of course he swears he truly loves me and the rest of the script that all starts to sound the same. What is it with these men do I look the cash cow here???? He knows all about what has happen to me, but sometimes i swear it is like listening to the same empty promises I have heard before. I told him we are friends, but my trust is now gone and I can't completely trust anyone anymore. This man does call me everyday, I don't want him too anymore cause i feel like he is trying too hard. Here again, even if I wanted something with him, once again the money falls all on me, I am the one that loses all, the man loses nothing. I am the one worried about all the bills, while he sits there and waits for me to come up with the money. If I ever did do this again, I will be the man and call all the shots. I will have the control and will do what ever I want, hey I am footing the bill I get all the say. Yes I sound really mean now, but trust me, I have been burned and burned badly. This guy puts on his family and all have to talk to me everyday, and I am trying to trust but deep down I feel they all want one thing, greencard. His friend married a girl from America and they live now in las vegas, of course she paid all the stuff and already had a home, so it was all taken care of. I mean I understand love, and giving, but you can't drain somebody that you say you love, and worry about. He is not too worried about me slaving away working with male offenders, where I could get killed at any moment. Oh and would he allow his mother, sisters any of the girls do all the work while man stays around and waits for money, I very seriously doubt that. So do they just expect American women to get their check books and book flights back and forth and do all that. Here I wonder, what happens when he enters the work force and starts to see American women, and talks to them, will he stay, or will he fall in love and leave her. Now the way I feel I don't see how this will really last longer than maybe 5 years. He knows how i feel about all this and he keeps bugging me to come over and marry him, "I will care for you forever," yea right, until my money or I find a really young beautiful american women to hook up with. I am sure your lives with your husbands will be wonderful, I think it is me, and maybe I should just give up on love all together. Sounds like a plan, cause if I want a man like that I need be the husband and let him stay home and rest. I bet that would be like heaven for them, a sugar mama taking care of them while they stay home and wait for green card. Too bad I can't find me a sugar daddy, maybe love is overrated. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest, I just wondered if women doing all work is a tradition and that it is expected or if this is just my experience. I truly wish all of you a blessed marriage full of love and happiness, as for me, I guess it is not in the cards.

Just a quick question for all the American women, did you pay for your plane ticket over to see your love, or did he pay for you? I understand they are from poor countries, but I am not that rich either, and not a sugar mama. Just really interested, because I have a husband in Egypt, whom I never talked to, but I paid for the plane ticket to see him and now i am paying all of this off working myself to an early grave. I guess I am a little old fashion and would like the man to take care of some of this, but maybe that is not the way things work. So please share with me who pays for what and did you feel kinda of mad if you have to pay all the bills, is it almost like buying a husband. That is how i feel now.

I agree with most of the advice you have received. At my age, I have learned this: TRUST YOUR GUT. Your gut is telling you the truth--something is not right about this man and this relationship. Dont waste time beating yourself up. You are not the one who is screwed up--he is. It is much better to be alone than have a relationship with an a--hole. Sounds easy...but my mom always said: Not one door closes that another one doesn't open. Each experience you have will make you stronger---you are only human after all. You know the truth and that you trusted somebody not worthy of your trust...better to be that way than a hardhearted person. I wish you luck and peace...Debbie

[Aymerlu 3]

I guess I am still in shock, how can everyone else have these wonderful experiences and I have a nightmere. I am now broke with credit card bills from my trip to Egypt. I may I have to get another job, so that way I will work two jobs to pay off this mess. I always heard that arab men love to take care of women, he was a police officer in Egypt and stepped down, cause he was a captain and could not apply for visa and be married to american while on the police force. All I know is that now i don't trust no man, I can't tell you how i feel, it is like i am a joke to my family and friends, they all ask what happened to him. I am embaressed and heartbroken and now poor as hell. So no I am not a troll, I am a real person who feels like I have been robbed and raped. I hate feeling this way and I am afriad I will be come really bitter now, oh well wonder what today will bring. Sorry about ranting I am just really devasted here. I really not sure if i would ever do that again, pay for a man.

i'd divorce him. now. (if you haven't already) sorry it worked out badly for you.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately everyone does not have the wonderful endings. Egypt is a high fraud country. That's why everyone going through Cairo has to wait forever to get a visa issued.

I paid for both my trips to Egypt and for his trip here. No regrets.

[doodlebug 3]

Hold up.....you're married as of this summer but you've been talking to this Moroccan guy for a year? That's confusing to me. I can only handle one at a time. lol. Then again, I have to write notes to myself to remember my cellphone and pocketbook so with my luck I"d screw up the names of the guys and get caught within like an hour. lol.

Anyhoo...why on earth anyone would think of going through this process more than once is beyond me. I remember once when things were not lookin' too good I thought to myself, sh!t now I'd have to go through this all again with someone new.....until no I wouldn't 'cause no way no how would I EVER date a non-US citizen EVER again. No offense to those non US citizens out there (gawd hope the pc police doesn't arrest me for THAT statement) but I wouldn't wish this fkg hell on my worst enemy.

Take some time off from ALL MEN, treat yourself to a spa or something with the money you would have had to have spent on airfare, read a few good books, eat whatever the heck you want, go out with friends and just relax. It will all work out and you'll probably find someone in a year or so in the US who is just perfect for you.

[Peggy 1]

Sorry that your going thru this aweful time

Hugs

[picatue 0]

I guess I am still in shock, how can everyone else have these wonderful experiences and I have a nightmere. I am now broke with credit card bills from my trip to Egypt. I may I have to get another job, so that way I will work two jobs to pay off this mess. I always heard that arab men love to take care of women, he was a police officer in Egypt and stepped down, cause he was a captain and could not apply for visa and be married to american while on the police force. All I know is that now i don't trust no man, I can't tell you how i feel, it is like i am a joke to my family and friends, they all ask what happened to him. I am embaressed and heartbroken and now poor as hell. So no I am not a troll, I am a real person who feels like I have been robbed and raped. I hate feeling this way and I am afriad I will be come really bitter now, oh well wonder what today will bring. Sorry about ranting I am just really devasted here. I really not sure if i would ever do that again, pay for a man.

thats really a terrible situation. but unfortunately, you are not the only one who's had this kind of experience. some don't even talk about it...but believe me, there are plenty of women who go through bad situations with their foreign spouse (and men too!) i know it must be hard to walk away from someone you invested so much time (and money) but i think its for the best. find a man here who will cherish you and not take advantage of your kindness. good luck!

Hey Girls

i am sorry about all this, but to let you know i never ever let my wife pay a penny, i used to pay for her tickets and even sometimes i pay for her rent in state. so this means those guys or some of them have no pride to take money from woman shame on them.

[Jenn! 918]

If you married to him and want to truly be traditional, your money is also his and you wouldn't be keeping tally.

uh actually no. the tradition is my money (the wife) is my money. His money is our money.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ???

thank you god my wife doesn't think like this .

You may not agree with it, but I think that's what Islam dictates. That's what she was referring to by tradition.

[mybackpages 0]

If you married to him and want to truly be traditional, your money is also his and you wouldn't be keeping tally.

uh actually no. the tradition is my money (the wife) is my money. His money is our money.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ???

thank you god my wife doesn't think like this .

It's called Islamic Law. The wife is not obligated to pay for the household. She can choose to do so if she wishes. I never said I wish not to.

Edited June 27, 2007 by mybackpages

[chasnik 0]

I paid for my ticket there, then when I was there he paid for everything....he and his family paid for all my gifts I brought back to family and friends. Neither one of us is rich so if I need something he helps and if he needs something I do. We are together so whats mine is his and so on and so forth. Hopefully I will be going back soon if Windstream comes off with some vacation time and I will get my ticket. He will get his to come here, but if he cant then of course I will the whole point of this is to get him here right???He as an accountant makes like 200 us dollars a month. His brother is a college professor and only makes like 300usd. Its a poor country. Im sorry you had this bad experience. Honestly though I have known some burned out rednecks here(hows that for pc?) who wanted more from me than Mo has ever asked for. Mohammed and I talk every night, he stays up until 3 or 4 and I get up at 5 so we can start and end our day together. 3 yrs now we have done this and only missed like 5 nights total. Once again sorry for your pain.

[melly 0]

I wish I could afford to pay for tickets, I'd have been to Egypt a looooong time ago.

My fiance is paying for the tickets and also for everything while I'm there for a month. He has the ticket money, just not the other money. Insha'allah it will only be another 4 months or so.

To the original poster, I'm sorry for your situation. It's a little confusing from all of your posts, but no one deserves to go through that.

[Aymerlu 3]

I guess I am still in shock, how can everyone else have these wonderful experiences and I have a nightmere. I am now broke with credit card bills from my trip to Egypt. I may I have to get another job, so that way I will work two jobs to pay off this mess. I always heard that arab men love to take care of women, he was a police officer in Egypt and stepped down, cause he was a captain and could not apply for visa and be married to american while on the police force. All I know is that now i don't trust no man, I can't tell you how i feel, it is like i am a joke to my family and friends, they all ask what happened to him. I am embaressed and heartbroken and now poor as hell. So no I am not a troll, I am a real person who feels like I have been robbed and raped. I hate feeling this way and I am afriad I will be come really bitter now, oh well wonder what today will bring. Sorry about ranting I am just really devasted here. I really not sure if i would ever do that again, pay for a man.

thats really a terrible situation. but unfortunately, you are not the only one who's had this kind of experience. some don't even talk about it...but believe me, there are plenty of women who go through bad situations with their foreign spouse (and men too!) i know it must be hard to walk away from someone you invested so much time (and money) but i think its for the best. find a man here who will cherish you and not take advantage of your kindness. good luck!

Hey Girls

i am sorry about all this, but to let you know i never ever let my wife pay a penny, i used to pay for her tickets and even sometimes i pay for her rent in state. so this means those guys or some of them have no pride to take money from woman shame on them.

No shame on my husband at all. He gave up so much for the freaking visa process.....for ME. If he had not have done some of the things he did, there is no telling how long we would've had to wait even after he received his visa. We had many talks about this and I know if he had the money at the time, he would have gave it all to me. Things with us are great and if we had to do it all over again, we'd do it in a heartbeat.

[doodlebug 3]

I wish I could afford to pay for tickets, I'd have been to Egypt a looooong time ago.

My fiance is paying for the tickets and also for everything while I'm there for a month. He has the ticket money, just not the other money. Insha'allah it will only be another 4 months or so.

To the original poster, I'm sorry for your situation. It's a little confusing from all of your posts, but no one deserves to go through that.

Oh my gosh four more months???!!!! Melly you are the MOST patient person I have ever known!!!!!

[dollface41601 0]

HamdySherry,

im sorry to hear your going thru this, but unfortunately it does sound like maybe your husband in egypt did have the wrong intentions when it came to marrying you, if he had the desire to talk to you, i know he would, my husband slept literally 3 hours a night for 6 months when we were apart as he spent 10 hours working and 7-8 hours on the computer with me...EVERYDAY...so when theres a will theres a way, maybe you should confront your husband with this, and try to other work things out, or end it, as you dont want to be standing in limbo nemore....as far as the moroccan guy, take it easy, i wouldnt rush into nething, handle things with your husband first, i mean its the least you could do, you married him ya know?

on the money aspect, i did pay for my first ticket by myself, he provided housing, food, etc. second time around, he paid, and his family supported me along with him for 10 months in jordan....i would never allow sofyan to repay me, or even think to mention it, what i have is his, and vice versa, i dont believe in HIS AND MINE, when it comes to marriage, it is a unity, 2 become one!

[deemabrouk 0]

I guess I am still in shock, how can everyone else have these wonderful experiences and I have a nightmere. I am now broke with credit card bills from my trip to Egypt. I may I have to get another job, so that way I will work two jobs to pay off this mess. I always heard that arab men love to take care of women, he was a police officer in Egypt and stepped down, cause he was a captain and could not apply for visa and be married to american while on the police force. All I know is that now i don't trust no man, I can't tell you how i feel, it is like i am a joke to my family and friends, they all ask what happened to him. I am embaressed and heartbroken and now poor as hell. So no I am not a troll, I am a real person who feels like I have been robbed and raped. I hate feeling this way and I am afriad I will be come really bitter now, oh well wonder what today will bring. Sorry about ranting I am just really devasted here. I really not sure if i would ever do that again, pay for a man.

thats really a terrible situation. but unfortunately, you are not the only one who's had this kind of experience. some don't even talk about it...but believe me, there are plenty of women who go through bad situations with their foreign spouse (and men too!) i know it must be hard to walk away from someone you invested so much time (and money) but i think its for the best. find a man here who will cherish you and not take advantage of your kindness. good luck!

Hey Girls

i am sorry about all this, but to let you know i never ever let my wife pay a penny, i used to pay for her tickets and even sometimes i pay for her rent in state. so this means those guys or some of them have no pride to take money from woman shame on them.

thats how my husband feels.. very old school.. he rather sell his cloths.. cell phone.. whatever.. then take money from me.. BUT when it came down to seeing me again sooner than later.. he gave in to ME buying the last tickets !!

Edited June 28, 2007 by deemabrouk

[sarah and hicham 3]

I'm sorry this happened to you and I think that unfortunately it's clear that his intentions were not good ones.

I hope you can move on and learn from your experience although I don't personally think that starting something with a Moroccan would be the very best choice quite yet. That to me seems a bit like you are lonely and almost desperate for a man, but I could of course be very wrong.

As for Hicham and I, I paid for 3 out of 4 of my plane rides over there and Hicham and his family insisted for paying for just about everything once I was there no matter how many times I tried to slip money to his Dad. Hicham paid for his flight here and was able to bring the allowable amount of money with him to the states.

edit: I could have SWORN that I saw something about her talking with a Moroccan. I can't find it for the life of me now. If I made that up, then sorry. My bad.

Edited June 28, 2007 by sarah and hicham