WHO PAYS FOR ALL THE PLANE TICKETS

[SaadBell 0]

Gee, sorry, ok for me it is a golden rule. If you see a small mistake on someone else’s part, why not let it ride? Does it make one feel superior to point out others faults? I have learned a long time ago, let others shine, even if their facts our a little off, why point it out right away, what is that about. When you point out others peoples faults or mistakes this says nothing about the person you speak of, but speaks volumes on yourself and being a critical person. Sometimes things need to be pointed out, but if you really think about it, most times it is our pride and trying to show others how smart I am. I always try to leave with something positive to say, there is too much suffering and agony in this world why do I need to contribute to this. There is never any reason to be unpleasant towards others. It is not your fault if somebody is unpleasant towards you. Even if you have done something wrong, the person should complain in a correct way so that you can rectify the matter, and not treat you badly. To be horrible towards others is comparable to physical injury and the mental scars may last a lifetime. Sometimes, this will not help. Some people are convinced that they are right and that they have a right to be nasty even because of the smallest error, which you may have done. There are even sadistic people, who enjoy tormenting other people. Such people have often themselves been objects of psychological abuse, and now, when they are not victims any more, they enjoy being the tormenter. I am a therapist and have seen the damage done by nasty people. People often tell me I am not violent, but yet will drive out of the parking lot and cussing at the traffic. Of course in their eyes they are fine, words are nothing. WRONG, words hurt and can and does leave people feeling awful. I have been in therapy with clients, sometimes families, and someone will be carrying around hurt for years about what someone in the family said or did. When they confront the person, that person usually doesn't even remember saying it, and is surprised that the person has held something so close to their heart, when themselves forgotten the incident 5 minutes after if happened. So once again I am so sorry for this not being the OFFICIAL GOLDEN RULE.

[Alhamdulillah 0]

Gee, sorry, ok for me it is a golden rule. If you see a small mistake on someone else’s part, why not let it ride? Does it make one feel superior to point out others faults? I have learned a long time ago, let others shine, even if their facts our a little off, why point it out right away, what is that about. When you point out others peoples faults or mistakes this says nothing about the person you speak of, but speaks volumes on yourself and being a critical person. Sometimes things need to be pointed out, but if you really think about it, most times it is our pride and trying to show others how smart I am. I always try to leave with something positive to say, there is too much suffering and agony in this world why do I need to contribute to this. There is never any reason to be unpleasant towards others. It is not your fault if somebody is unpleasant towards you. Even if you have done something wrong, the person should complain in a correct way so that you can rectify the matter, and not treat you badly. To be horrible towards others is comparable to physical injury and the mental scars may last a lifetime. Sometimes, this will not help. Some people are convinced that they are right and that they have a right to be nasty even because of the smallest error, which you may have done. There are even sadistic people, who enjoy tormenting other people. Such people have often themselves been objects of psychological abuse, and now, when they are not victims any more, they enjoy being the tormenter. I am a therapist and have seen the damage done by nasty people. People often tell me I am not violent, but yet will drive out of the parking lot and cussing at the traffic. Of course in their eyes they are fine, words are nothing. WRONG, words hurt and can and does leave people feeling awful. I have been in therapy with clients, sometimes families, and someone will be carrying around hurt for years about what someone in the family said or did. When they confront the person, that person usually doesn't even remember saying it, and is surprised that the person has held something so close to their heart, when themselves forgotten the incident 5 minutes after if happened. So once again I am so sorry for this not being the OFFICIAL GOLDEN RULE.

It was actually an attempt at lightening the mood in here with a joke.... I see it failed

This is why I don't post much in MENA even though my spouse is from the area.

Edited January 24, 2008 by Alhamdulillah

[chaishai 1]

I made a mistake a while back and thought someone really cared for me, when in fact that was not the case. I was broken up about it and was a mess. Hesham and I were friends way before I was involved with this Egyptian man, Hesham is also Egyptian but has lived in America and is currently living in Kuwait. It was way over for me and that Egyptian man when I heard from my old friend Hesham, whom had gotten a divorce and well things happened and we married. Big difference, Hesham pays for lawyers and plane tickets. Why does this mean something to me? Not sure, but it works better for me, I have nothing evil or mean to say for women who pay for their own tickets, but personally for me, I feel more comfortable with the man handling the business. That is just me, everyone has a different outlook on this, and if you are happy, than I am happy for you. So yes I do have the Kuwait flag up since that is where Hesham lives. We are filing in Egypt since if we filed in Kuwait his ex-wife would have to go back to Egypt. Hesham knows all about what happen to me the first time, and we have talked about it. It is so sad to see women tearing each other apart on this forum, how can we even think of world peace when we as mature women cannot come together and support one another. If you don’t like someone, don’t respond to them. Why engaged in nasty comments, I am too busy working and worrying about my own life to engage in someone else’s drama. Hesham always asks how our the ladies at MENA, you fighting with them. He thinks the whole thing is funny, but it makes me sad. Maybe we should follow the golden rule, if you have nothing positive or supportive say, keep it. Is it worth it to battle people over silliness?

You were still married to the other guy you were complaining about who wanted you to pay for plane tickets at the end of June. You married someone else that fast? Its possible to marry someone else that fast?! Im not even going to go there with is it possible for a woman to DECIDE to marry someone else that fast - Im saying, legally, religiously whatever, you can get married again that fast? Craziness!

Gee, sorry, ok for me it is a golden rule. If you see a small mistake on someone else’s part, why not let it ride? Does it make one feel superior to point out others faults? I have learned a long time ago, let others shine, even if their facts our a little off, why point it out right away, what is that about. When you point out others peoples faults or mistakes this says nothing about the person you speak of, but speaks volumes on yourself and being a critical person. Sometimes things need to be pointed out, but if you really think about it, most times it is our pride and trying to show others how smart I am. I always try to leave with something positive to say, there is too much suffering and agony in this world why do I need to contribute to this. There is never any reason to be unpleasant towards others. It is not your fault if somebody is unpleasant towards you. Even if you have done something wrong, the person should complain in a correct way so that you can rectify the matter, and not treat you badly. To be horrible towards others is comparable to physical injury and the mental scars may last a lifetime. Sometimes, this will not help. Some people are convinced that they are right and that they have a right to be nasty even because of the smallest error, which you may have done. There are even sadistic people, who enjoy tormenting other people. Such people have often themselves been objects of psychological abuse, and now, when they are not victims any more, they enjoy being the tormenter. I am a therapist and have seen the damage done by nasty people. People often tell me I am not violent, but yet will drive out of the parking lot and cussing at the traffic. Of course in their eyes they are fine, words are nothing. WRONG, words hurt and can and does leave people feeling awful. I have been in therapy with clients, sometimes families, and someone will be carrying around hurt for years about what someone in the family said or did. When they confront the person, that person usually doesn't even remember saying it, and is surprised that the person has held something so close to their heart, when themselves forgotten the incident 5 minutes after if happened. So once again I am so sorry for this not being the OFFICIAL GOLDEN RULE.

It was actually an attempt at lightening the mood in here with a joke.... I see it failed

This is why I don't post much in MENA even though my spouse is from the area.

What is the golden rule? I keep thinking of murphy's law and I dont think thats it!

[ya falaha! 0]

Golden rule-treat others how you would like to be treated. Easier said than done IMO.

[Aymerlu 3]

Golden rule-treat others how you would like to be treated. Easier said than done IMO.

Amen to that!

[SaadBell 0]

You were still married to the other guy you were complaining about who wanted you to pay for plane tickets at the end of June. You married someone else that fast? Its possible to marry someone else that fast?! Im not even going to go there with is it possible for a woman to DECIDE to marry someone else that fast - Im saying, legally, religiously whatever, you can get married again that fast? Craziness!

I was married in an Islamic marriage and that is not legal. I hadn't seen or talked to this man since my first trip to Egypt which was on 06. I married a year later, how long to you think is appropriate time to marry after divorce of death of a spouse. I didn't know there was a time line, I do understand what you are getting at, and can see why someone would say this. When I posted this last post, that is now back, I hadn't been in touch with this man for over six months. Long time I say, but should I have waited? I am sure whatever I do, there is someone out there to point out all my errors and tell me how much better their relationships are. I am happy for you and wish you nothing but the best. So you are saying I am crazy, maybe I will take that. I say whatever works for you than go with it, as long as others are not hurt in the process. I know a lot of people that would say to pay for a man is a bad idea, but one has to do what one thinks is right. I try to come on here to gather information and see how others are handling their process. I will leave this forum, sadly, but I know that I am not welcome here and no matter what I do, I will never fit. I wish all of you a happy reunion and only the best. I agree with the lady who was only trying to lighten up the forum with a joke, I have never seen so many perfect people in my life. I guess I am just so sadden by all this hatred and nastiness on this forum.

I am so sorry Alhamdulillah truly I am, my bad, I saw that and am used to the mean nasty comments so I jumped too fast. I am in the wrong there, and once again please accept my deepest apologies. I love to laugh and I love dark humor, I think laughing is the best medicine.

[Alhamdulillah 0]

Im saying, legally, religiously whatever, you can get married again that fast?

Religiously? I guess that depends on the religion. In Islam there's a waiting period before a woman can remarry. It's not terribly long but it's there.

I am so sorry Alhamdulillah truly I am, my bad, I saw that and am used to the mean nasty comments so I jumped too fast. I am in the wrong there, and once again please accept my deepest apologies. I love to laugh and I love dark humor, I think laughing is the best medicine.

It's OK, that's why I put the () I thought it would be understood as a joke.

[chaishai 1]

You were still married to the other guy you were complaining about who wanted you to pay for plane tickets at the end of June. You married someone else that fast? Its possible to marry someone else that fast?! Im not even going to go there with is it possible for a woman to DECIDE to marry someone else that fast - Im saying, legally, religiously whatever, you can get married again that fast? Craziness!

I was married in an Islamic marriage and that is not legal. I hadn't seen or talked to this man since my first trip to Egypt which was on 06. I married a year later, how long to you think is appropriate time to marry after divorce of death of a spouse. I didn't know there was a time line, I do understand what you are getting at, and can see why someone would say this. When I posted this last post, that is now back, I hadn't been in touch with this man for over six months. Long time I say, but should I have waited? I am sure whatever I do, there is someone out there to point out all my errors and tell me how much better their relationships are. I am happy for you and wish you nothing but the best. So you are saying I am crazy, maybe I will take that. I say whatever works for you than go with it, as long as others are not hurt in the process. I know a lot of people that would say to pay for a man is a bad idea, but one has to do what one thinks is right. I try to come on here to gather information and see how others are handling their process. I will leave this forum, sadly, but I know that I am not welcome here and no matter what I do, I will never fit. I wish all of you a happy reunion and only the best. I agree with the lady who was only trying to lighten up the forum with a joke, I have never seen so many perfect people in my life. I guess I am just so sadden by all this hatred and nastiness on this forum.

I am so sorry Alhamdulillah truly I am, my bad, I saw that and am used to the mean nasty comments so I jumped too fast. I am in the wrong there, and once again please accept my deepest apologies. I love to laugh and I love dark humor, I think laughing is the best medicine.

I never said that you are crazy. I said the ability legally and religiouslly to divorce and remarry so quickly was craziness. I also am not perfect, I dont hate, and Im not nasty - Im assuming that you are talking to me now, since you said those things in response to my post! I think you are jumping down my throat now, can I have an apology too? Thanks!

[chaishai 1]

Religiously? I guess that depends on the religion. In Islam there's a waiting period before a woman can remarry. It's not terribly long but it's there.

that is what I was thinking that there must be a waiting period..... I dont know it just seemed fast it took me a long time to get married - Im not talking about my own thought processes - Im talking the bureaucracy involved with getting married!

[Nutty 2]

Does your SO have a brother? :energetic:

He gave me $2000.00 to pay for my first month/last month and security deposit in USA

Only two younger brothers that are unmarried. The rest are married.

Yes, I am very content with my husband!!! He is good to me and so I take extra care to pamper and love him.

[ya falaha! 0]

That's so nice to hear. A truly loving, caring man is hard to come by. You're very fortunate.

Just how young are these brothers? J/K

Does your SO have a brother? :energetic:

He gave me $2000.00 to pay for my first month/last month and security deposit in USA

Only two younger brothers that are unmarried. The rest are married.

Yes, I am very content with my husband!!! He is good to me and so I take extra care to pamper and love him.

[SaadBell 0]

Im not even going to go there with is it possible for a woman to DECIDE to marry someone else that fast - Im saying, legally, religiously whatever, you can get married again that fast? Craziness!

The waiting period is three months, not a year, so I am well within that period of time. The reason for the law was to make sure the women is not pregnant when she remarries. I think when you said how can you get married again so fast, Craziness. What is a good time to wait? I married my first husband even faster and really that lasted 24 years. So not sure if time factor is of great importance. I could be wrong have been wrong many times, but I have some experience in long long term relationships, I think being with someone for 24 years is a long time, so I am not in to quickie relationships. I made a mistake, but I am human, did I make another mistake, only time will tell. I surely hope not, but I have learned that life sometimes does not turn out like you want it too. I know what it takes to have a long term marriage, and it is hard work so I am not blind either to the hardships. I have been there and done it, so I do have some knowledge. I am not saying I am an expert, but I think my track record speaks for itself. How many women here have been married for 24 years? Yes I am proud that I have that under my belt, it helps in knowing some of the things to expect. Does it assure me a great next marriage, NO, does it help, of course. Chaishai, you meant to say the craziness did not mean me, than yes I apologize, but it sure likes you were saying getting married so quickly a year, is crazy, and that is me.

[I love Ashraf 0]

You are a grown woman and you can do whatever you feel is right for your life.Just be careful and wise and allow the past to be the guide for you present and future.Only you know what you want from your life and if your husband works for your life.But don't except others to understand or support your decisions.And putting your business out there lends it to open to comments good,bad or indifferent.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

I saw a nice, neutral, inexpensive area rug on the World Market website that I may go check out after work.

I World Market -- I bought my family room rug there. And they are having a furniture sale right now.... I bought a headboard there this week for half price

Nooooooo comment on husbands breaking things.....

[ya falaha! 0]

Too true.

I don't understand how people can get so indignant when others question a strange statement or unusual situation that someone has posted. If you can't handle negative feedback, keep certain things off of message boards.

You are a grown woman and you can do whatever you feel is right for your life.Just be careful and wise and allow the past to be the guide for you present and future.Only you know what you want from your life and if your husband works for your life.But don't except others to understand or support your decisions.And putting your business out there lends it to open to comments good,bad or indifferent.