WHO PAYS FOR ALL THE PLANE TICKETS

[~Jackie~ 30]

Let's see,,,I paid for my 3 trips to Jordan. He paid for his trip here.

Jackie

(charles you kill me! )

[Marry American 0]

Doodlebug, I do not know what you are talking about, could you explain it to me. I see that my signature fits the page just fine. I'm lost.

[doodlebug 3]

Doodlebug, I do not know what you are talking about, could you explain it to me. I see that my signature fits the page just fine. I'm lost.

I dunno but it's fixed now. Maybe the siggy fairy did it. lol. Anyways thanks to whoever fixed it. I can't explain it but whenever you would post I'd have to arrow all the way to the right to read what everyone wrote.

[MelindaandTarek 0]

Yes, the best way is to ignore them to the point of not responding at all. Make your posts count in getting support and advice from vj buddies that care. You will come to know who is helpful here and who is just throwing their words around to get a reaction. It's sad actually and after a few years of interaction, I feel sorry for the negative ones that relish in confrontation. I pity the fact that they have no positive things going on in their lives to post about. Most of us will share once in a while plans or hopes. When you see someone that posts arguementative things all the time, you have to wonder if they have any good in their lives. Probably not.

Come over to my side of the street, where we offer words of hope. Where we gather to cheer each other on, not wait til the next post to tear them apart. Comraderie, online friendship, that is what keeps VJ special and thriving, not the petty, backstabbing. That is a very small, tiny population of VJ.

Jackie

well said Jackie....I am new to this and am hear for support so that is what I look for and ignore the rest....

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Just for what it's worth..... announcing that you're going to ignore someone kind of defeats the purpose -- because just by doing that, you're responding. It's the whole passive-aggressive thing. Even sly, oblique references are still a response, and just keep the whole back-and-forth going.

I know it can be a challenge, but to truly "ignore" someone is to NOT respond.... EVER.... or even acknowledge that they exist.

-MK

[mybackpages 0]

Just for what it's worth..... announcing that you're going to ignore someone kind of defeats the purpose -- because just by doing that, you're responding. It's the whole passive-aggressive thing. Even sly, oblique references are still a response, and just keep the whole back-and-forth going.

I know it can be a challenge, but to truly "ignore" someone is to NOT respond.... EVER.... or even acknowledge that they exist.

-MK

Not to mention how it furthers the very thing the poster claims they want to stop. As always MK, you sure know how to put things into words!

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

It's like watching.....

[MelindaandTarek 0]

It's like watching.....

well said and i take note of this:)

[mybackpages 0]

a picture is worth a 1000 words. Now where is that thread you are going to start with all those palestine pics? MENA pics part 2

[~Jackie~ 30]

[Ron-n-Linlin 0]

First off let me say I am sorry for your grief. It would leave a bitter taste in anyones mouth over something like this. If I was you, I would divorce him and move on. Yes, simple words to type, but harder to do in real life. I can only say is at least you found out in advance what you could have expected once he was here. He is the prime example of why women just give up on men and as you say become the cat lady next door. In my case, my future wife paid for her visa application expnse, done all the paperwork herself. I am not a rich man myself, but we never look at it as paying each other back for the expense of loving each other. I went to China and paid for my own ticket and when the times comes for her to come here, I will buy her ticket with no expectations of her paying me back. When I went there, she paid for some of the expenses because she wanted to and she does not make a ton of money being a female in China. We talk everyday via Yahoo and I once had the flu very bad, but I pulled myself out of bed, fever in hand and still come online to talk with her for a few minutes. Only death could keep me away from the only woman I have ever truly loved. Anyway, I know it is hard on you and most of all your heart has been broken, but plz just move on and find someone that will love you for who you are and not for what you have or can provide for them.

Ron

I guess I am still in shock, how can everyone else have these wonderful experiences and I have a nightmere. I am now broke with credit card bills from my trip to Egypt. I may I have to get another job, so that way I will work two jobs to pay off this mess. I always heard that arab men love to take care of women, he was a police officer in Egypt and stepped down, cause he was a captain and could not apply for visa and be married to american while on the police force. All I know is that now i don't trust no man, I can't tell you how i feel, it is like i am a joke to my family and friends, they all ask what happened to him. I am embaressed and heartbroken and now poor as hell. So no I am not a troll, I am a real person who feels like I have been robbed and raped. I hate feeling this way and I am afriad I will be come really bitter now, oh well wonder what today will bring. Sorry about ranting I am just really devasted here. I really not sure if i would ever do that again, pay for a man.

thats really a terrible situation. but unfortunately, you are not the only one who's had this kind of experience. some don't even talk about it...but believe me, there are plenty of women who go through bad situations with their foreign spouse (and men too!) i know it must be hard to walk away from someone you invested so much time (and money) but i think its for the best. find a man here who will cherish you and not take advantage of your kindness. good luck!

[Henia 11]

First off let me say I am sorry for your grief. It would leave a bitter taste in anyones mouth over something like this. If I was you, I would divorce him and move on. Yes, simple words to type, but harder to do in real life. I can only say is at least you found out in advance what you could have expected once he was here. He is the prime example of why women just give up on men and as you say become the cat lady next door. In my case, my future wife paid for her visa application expnse, done all the paperwork herself. I am not a rich man myself, but we never look at it as paying each other back for the expense of loving each other. I went to China and paid for my own ticket and when the times comes for her to come here, I will buy her ticket with no expectations of her paying me back. When I went there, she paid for some of the expenses because she wanted to and she does not make a ton of money being a female in China. We talk everyday via Yahoo and I once had the flu very bad, but I pulled myself out of bed, fever in hand and still come online to talk with her for a few minutes. Only death could keep me away from the only woman I have ever truly loved. Anyway, I know it is hard on you and most of all your heart has been broken, but plz just move on and find someone that will love you for who you are and not for what you have or can provide for them.

Ron

I guess I am still in shock, how can everyone else have these wonderful experiences and I have a nightmere. I am now broke with credit card bills from my trip to Egypt. I may I have to get another job, so that way I will work two jobs to pay off this mess. I always heard that arab men love to take care of women, he was a police officer in Egypt and stepped down, cause he was a captain and could not apply for visa and be married to american while on the police force. All I know is that now i don't trust no man, I can't tell you how i feel, it is like i am a joke to my family and friends, they all ask what happened to him. I am embaressed and heartbroken and now poor as hell. So no I am not a troll, I am a real person who feels like I have been robbed and raped. I hate feeling this way and I am afriad I will be come really bitter now, oh well wonder what today will bring. Sorry about ranting I am just really devasted here. I really not sure if i would ever do that again, pay for a man.

thats really a terrible situation. but unfortunately, you are not the only one who's had this kind of experience. some don't even talk about it...but believe me, there are plenty of women who go through bad situations with their foreign spouse (and men too!) i know it must be hard to walk away from someone you invested so much time (and money) but i think its for the best. find a man here who will cherish you and not take advantage of your kindness. good luck!

Thanks for posting that Ron. It was simply a breathe of fresh air

[Ron-n-Linlin 0]

I am sorry to hear your situation.in my opinion,he is not a real man who should be more responsible for your relationship.all he had done is only putting you on giving position but never taken the duty which man should do .

we women can be independent but we also need to feel the love which is needed to expressed by facts more than empty words.well,maybe u married him too quickly before u knew more...

neither me or my fiance is rich,but we like to share everything we have and do everything we can for each other.

we look another as first and most important in our life.I feel so reliable with him , he always tells me i have him no matter good time or bad time and perform that in real life .I trust him and we got there to decide marriage after many tests between us .moeny is somethting,but not everything.I know my finace have been trying his best,that is good enough for me.

now we are waiting for our NOA2,we talk at least 2 time each day,sometimes by yahoo,sometimes by phonecall.

this is very important part in our daily life.we don`t mind who pays money more or less,we are just one.we do have faith on our future family.it will be a team-work.

Lin

[JelloShotGirl 0]

i paid for plane tickets for us both but my husb to be at that time paid for all his visa fees, medical , cenomar and all the stuff required in Manila which is pricey if u live there. When i was over there we split a lot of expenses but i have to say his family took really really good care of me.

[sarahaziz 0]

You should forget about him this is the blunt truth. Youre probably giving yourself hope that he's a good man but you still have that gut feeling hes not. God gave you gut feelings and instincts for a reason. Even when Ive fought with my spouse to the bitter end and said I hated him etc.. HE still called me to makeup within 20 mins. I don't say this to brag as alot of women will see it as that but I tell you this because if your husband was genuine with you He would make the effort to be there for his wife emotionally if he cant be there physically in this time. Have you tried telling him all this is bothering you? Be honest never let anything go unsaid. Make him know you cared about him and loved him and you're in a bad time because he's not there for you. If he still shows no concern just leave. you will never be able to latch onto another human being for emotional mental fullness. You have to seek God for that. My only advice in simple words take care of your kids first, be honest and open with your husband and understand that even if he has a sick mother, after marriage HIS WIFE comes first (a 2 minute phone call his mom wont go anywhere.)