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[Together4ever 1]

Hi everyone! I haven't posted in awhile but I have a couple updates. I got my NOA1 from my I-130 and sent in my I-129F two days ago, alhamdulillah. So all I have left to do is keep waiting at this point. I'm also going to Egypt for a visit leaving July 1 inshallah. Being away from my husband is soooooooooooo difficult. Some days are just horrible! I'm sure most of you guys can relate. Question...do you ever find yourselves picking fights just because you're frustrated from it all? I've picked like three fights in the past week with Mohamed. Last night I asked him if his life would be easier if I'd just "go away". I made the man cry. How horrible am I? Then he asked if MY life would be easier if HE would go away. Then I cry. So the two of us are crying like babies. Then he tells me about his cousin's wife getting pregnant. We start to talking about birth control and he asked if I was back on it or will be by the time I get to Egypt. He doesn't want me to get pregnant before he gets here. I get upset because in my mind the birth control talk means he doesn't want me to EVER get pregnant. So I tell him..maybe I'll get a tubal ligation and you'll never have to worry about me getting pregnant!!! OMG...am I a lunatic or what? This distance and waiting is making me CRAZY!!!!!! Ok thanks for bearing with my rant.

Oh sweet heart you are so not alone in this. It's the stress of the waiting and the pressure of being separated. It makes your mind and your emotions go crazy. We just came through a week of constant fights. It's just all this pent up FRUSTRATION that you want to be together, you want to start your life, you want want want want and there is so little you can actually DO and you have no idea WHEN and its like beating your head constantly against a wall.

You're fortunate you can go for a visit. Try to focus your energies on that for awhile and maybe it will lift the spirits of both of you. It might help quite what my Mohammed and I call "those nasty little movies" we create in our minds from our fears and insecurities that pop up from being so far away from each other.

This is a bloody brutal waiting game. I would bet just the VJers alone could fill an ocean with their combined tears. Just know there are those of us here who do truly understand.

[USMA 0]

Welcome Mrs. Z! I am rather new here myself and trying to figure this whole process out too. So we can learn together. I am doing a K-1 visa with my Moroccan fiance.

LOL I thought I was the only one who had the conversations that we do! Why is it that when you are so far apart from each other, the CRAZIEST thoughts come to your mind?! Thank you for sharing and being so open and honest about what you're going through. You've made me feel better!!!!

The waiting and wondering have got to be the hardest things to do. This has got to be one of the most emotionally draining things to go through-and I've had my share of emotionally draining situations!!!!!!!!

I am glad you found VJ and I look forward to reading your future posts!

Brenda

[ya falaha! 0]

Thank you guys for your responses! I literally feel my sanity slipping away sometimes. This whole process feels like a cruel joke sometimes. I'm having an AWFUL day today.

[Together4ever 1]

Thank you guys for your responses! I literally feel my sanity slipping away sometimes. This whole process feels like a cruel joke sometimes. I'm having an AWFUL day today.

*Big Hugs* I go through an ugly melt down about every 3 or 4 weeks...

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Mrs. Z, It helps us to know where people are in the process time wise with just a click of the button.

The waiting sucks, but in the end, you'll be together inshaAllah. Then, you might find yourselves wishing for a little time alone

[lostinlove228 0]

The key to getting through this process is learning patience. I know easier said then done but that is what it takes.

In Frustration people say a lot of things and communication over the phone isn't the greatest. All you have to work on is the person's tone of voice and there words. There is no facial expression which is so important. You will have fights. He probably just wants to be with you during your pregnancy and wants to be settled first.

[Together4ever 1]

He probably just wants to be with you during your pregnancy and wants to be settled first.

It's that lovely Egyptian male ego thing. Wheeeee...

[Omid 0]

Thank you guys for your responses! I literally feel my sanity slipping away sometimes. This whole process feels like a cruel joke sometimes. I'm having an AWFUL day today.

*Big Hugs* I go through an ugly melt down about every 3 or 4 weeks...

wow, that's pretty good - i'm at about every 3 -4 DAYS

Mrs. Z, among other things, I'm so appreciative of this forum for letting me know I'm NOT crazy or insane, just going through the normal emotions associated with this HORRIBLE immigration experience... hang in there.. everything will work out insha'Allah.

[ya falaha! 0]

That's pretty much exactly what he said...he doesn't want me to get pregnant because there may be a chance he will not be here by the time the baby would be born and if he is here he may not have a job. He meant well but you know us girls...pick pick pick.

He probably just wants to be with you during your pregnancy and wants to be settled first.

It's that lovely Egyptian male ego thing. Wheeeee...

Meltdowns you say? Besides the one I'm having so inconvienently at my desk at the moment..I get them about every two weeks or so. Oh and of course while I'm PMSing. Those are my favorites!

[Together4ever 1]

That's pretty much exactly what he said...he doesn't want me to get pregnant because there may be a chance he will not be here by the time the baby would be born and if he is here he may not have a job. He meant well but you know us girls...pick pick pick.

He probably just wants to be with you during your pregnancy and wants to be settled first.

It's that lovely Egyptian male ego thing. Wheeeee...

Meltdowns you say? Besides the one I'm having so inconvienently at my desk at the moment..I get them about every two weeks or so. Oh and of course while I'm PMSing. Those are my favorites!

I need to go in Ebay and see if anyone sells "PMS muzzles". I know exactly what you mean. Those are the WORST because you simply cannot find one rational thought or response in the stew of ew going on in your bod.

Like I said, Mohammed and I call these thoughts "movies". Try to view them as just something cold on a screen and it's easier (sometimes) to manage. I'm still convinced that this process is such a golden and beautiful opportunity for couples to grow and bond and learn all the intricate little corners of each other. (Anybody buying that???) Well it is... but I know how you're feeling Mrs Z. When we fight I feel my world is falling apart and there is nothing I can do. Of course it's all in my stupid head...

[AngelK96 0]

Hi everyone! I haven't posted in awhile but I have a couple updates. I got my NOA1 from my I-130 and sent in my I-129F two days ago, alhamdulillah. So all I have left to do is keep waiting at this point. I'm also going to Egypt for a visit leaving July 1 inshallah. Being away from my husband is soooooooooooo difficult. Some days are just horrible! I'm sure most of you guys can relate. Question...do you ever find yourselves picking fights just because you're frustrated from it all? I've picked like three fights in the past week with Mohamed. Last night I asked him if his life would be easier if I'd just "go away". I made the man cry. How horrible am I? Then he asked if MY life would be easier if HE would go away. Then I cry. So the two of us are crying like babies. Then he tells me about his cousin's wife getting pregnant. We start to talking about birth control and he asked if I was back on it or will be by the time I get to Egypt. He doesn't want me to get pregnant before he gets here. I get upset because in my mind the birth control talk means he doesn't want me to EVER get pregnant. So I tell him..maybe I'll get a tubal ligation and you'll never have to worry about me getting pregnant!!! OMG...am I a lunatic or what? This distance and waiting is making me CRAZY!!!!!! Ok thanks for bearing with my rant.

Welcome to ME/NA forum!

This process does take a toll on you and your SO. The most difficult thing is the waiting!!! Me and my husband use to have our little spats on the computer but mostly it was just due to the stress of this whole immigration process and being apart. Once he gets here it will all go away, but be prepared for the adjustment because sometimes that can be worse than waiting for some. Hang in there. You have good company here. All the ladies here are awesome!

Angel

[amal 4]

Hey hey,

Welcome to ME/NA!! We are always happy to welcome any new VJ'ers!!

You are welcome to view my timeline..I think I have most of our steps written out. It took 1 year from beginning to end of our process "CR-1". We filed K-3 first but abandoned it for CR-1 just because I'm no good at paperwork and wanted my husband to have the freedom to do what he wanted as soon as he was ready. K-3 didn't allow that (since they can't do anything for 3 months after arriving on it).

If there's anything you need, please feel free to ask me or any of the girls/guys on here. They are the best bunch of people I've ever conversed with and they honestly know what you're going thru. They are some of the best sympathizers in the world (i think)

Before my husband got here, I would have a melt down about once a week wether I wanted to or not. We would argue about some of the stupidest things too. Sometimes I wondered just what I had gotten myself in to. Now that he's here, I wouldn't trade him for the world.. He was definitely worth the wait and I couldn't ask for better treatment from anyone.

I have been a member for quite some time and I'm notorious for telling people to "be patient...learn patience...become one with patience" because this whole process is going to take every bit of patience you have in your body ...and then require more. It will be ok, we are here to support you whenever you need us.

Is my rant long enough??? heheh sometimes I get going and I can't stop.. hehehehehe

amal

I forgot to mention.... my yahoo is lyric_hope ....if you ever need an ear....

amal

[ya falaha! 0]

Thank you everyone for your support! You guys are AMAZING!!! Well the meltdown is over alhamdulillah. I get these bad boys every couple weeks or so. When I'm going through them I feel like..is this all worth it? I basically feel like giving up. Alhamdulillah they only last a few hours or day at the most. I spoke with my husband on MSN in the middle of this yesterday afternoon and he was so sweet and supportive. We talked about the having children thing (which I was most upset about). He explained again why he didn't want me to get pregnant before he gets here. He told me that he knows my ex wasn't supportive when I had both my sons. He wants to be here to support me in that and take care of me while I'm pregnant. He wants to have a chance to be a father from conception...not be in another country away from me while I'm going through it. He's so right! I don't know why I'm in such a hurry to have more children. I think it's because I want to have that kind of connection with him. I think it's because of the distance. Is this nutso? Thanks again everyone!!!

Love and kisses,

Kara

[Meriem_DZ 37]

Hi kara, My name is Meriem, I was wondering if I had welcomed you yet, so I looked through the replies and I thought "How did I miss her post?" I went back to your original post and I realized I was in Algeria for one month at the time. Sorry, I did not spend much time on the computer there. So I am giving you my welcome to VJ now, even though it is a little late. Good luck with the process. Hope you are together soon, Inshaallah.

Meriem