Is my relationship with my Moroccan Man legit?

[milimelo 4,477]

4 minutes ago, JVal91 said:

I suggested he try getting his own originals and the only way I could think of was to get a US lawyer to go and get them in person and get them with international seal (which is required on these), which is expensive and he can’t afford. I also suggested to him he at least email the court to get more info and he did email (I saw it and that it was sent in his email to the email address) but got no response.  honestly I didn’t know about this Vitalcheck.com. Would they do an appostile (international) seal?

I am sure they could - it would just take some extra time to get that. https://vitalchek-solutions.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/3189/kw/apostille

[JVal91 3]

6 minutes ago, milimelo said:

I am sure they could - it would just take some extra time to get that. https://vitalchek-solutions.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/3189/kw/apostille

You’re really kind to share this thank you! I just tried searching on the site to see if I could attempt to get it and it says that divorce certificate is not available (he sent me a copy to show he was divorced in the US without me asking so I do have it). Also would any of the sites you’re talking about do an appostile (international) seal? I’m not aware of any other sites and wouldn’t know how to start searching for them 

[milimelo 4,477]

5 minutes ago, JVal91 said:

You’re really kind to share this thank you! I just tried searching on the site to see if I could attempt to get it and it says that divorce certificate is not available (he sent me a copy to show he was divorced in the US without me asking so I do have it). Also would any of the sites you’re talking about do an appostile (international) seal? I’m not aware of any other sites and wouldn’t know how to start searching for them 

I'm confused - you tried ordering the divorce decree and it's showing not available? If you have details of the case, go on the website of the court and look up the case - pretty much it's all public - then contact the court clerk on how to obtain the decree. 

 

State apostille is enough for most if not all international transactions - Department of State also does apostille but not sure if they're currently providing this service: https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/records-and-authentications/authenticate-your-document/apostille-requirements.html

[JVal91 3]

14 minutes ago, JVal91 said:

You’re really kind to share this thank you! I just tried searching on the site to see if I could attempt to get it and it says that divorce certificate is not available (he sent me a copy to show he was divorced in the US without me asking so I do have it). Also would any of the sites you’re talking about do an appostile (international) seal? I’m not aware of any other sites and wouldn’t know how to start searching for them 

 

6 minutes ago, milimelo said:

I'm confused - you tried ordering the divorce decree and it's showing not available? If you have details of the case, go on the website of the court and look up the case - pretty much it's all public - then contact the court clerk on how to obtain the decree. 

 

State apostille is enough for most if not all international transactions - Department of State also does apostille but not sure if they're currently providing this service: https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/records-and-authentications/authenticate-your-document/apostille-requirements.html

Sorry I mean I just tried to search it on the site you provided and it says not available. I did search it on the court’s website and I actually called and the person I spoke to says you have to go in person to the court to get it. I’m not in that state so I can’t do that... plus even if I were there I’m not sure I can given it’s not my decree. 

Edited December 2, 2020 by JVal91

[carmel34 3,626]

1 hour ago, JVal91 said:

He is actually still trying to finish his divorce in Morocco

You're wise to see this as a red flag.  He's in a virtual online relationship with you while his divorce is still in process in Morocco.  Take it very slow and do as much background checking on him as you can BEFORE meeting in person.  If you are completely satisfied after seeing documentation, speaking with people he knows, etc., then go meet in person and see where the relationship goes from there.  Slow and steady wins the race in love and in US immigration.  Good luck!

[JeanneAdil 6,504]

this is the reason  you have doubts in your own words

 

"We haven’t met yet because of COVID. He has tried searching a few times other ways to immigrate outside the marriage route. At about 4 months he was showing links of options that he found and one mentioned marrying a citizen.

 

He is obviously looking for a way to be in the US but this in itself is not a bad thing

you just have to find out if the reason he wants to be here is for you not a green card

 

good signs:

he did not mention he loved you immediately

he and you are about the same age

a Muslim man can marry Christain (a Muslim woman cannot for others to note)

you have not met yet so you have a long way to go and although he may say "all the right things"  some of the conversation can point out issues (address them immediately)

you both want kids (yeah for the interview in Casa)

you will have to do quality face time for a visa from Casa (long trips or several short ones)

do not make the mistake of marrying on the 1st trip

 

and sorry but don't listen to an ex spouse /  i see many and i mean many  USC's who divorce Moroccans for the simple reason the wait time for a visa can be long and they give up/ and of course there will be hard feelings on both sides after and you can't trust either side in a case of divorce

 

but if possible ,  check out any social media sites he has /  look for who he contacts and see if he shops for other women in multiple countries 

 

and the very best thing to do is pick a city like Marackech (beautiful tourist city) or Tangers (on the Mediterrean) and say causally to him

"I am so happy i met you .  I have always wanted to live in Morocco and tell him you have or are researching for a place to live now"

if he turns cold,  and talks less,  you have your answer

 

and talk to many of us who are married to Moroccans (10 years for me) and are happy as when its good its real good

any other questions ,  message me

[JVal91 3]

3 hours ago, carmel34 said:

You're wise to see this as a red flag.  He's in a virtual online relationship with you while his divorce is still in process in Morocco.  Take it very slow and do as much background checking on him as you can BEFORE meeting in person.  If you are completely satisfied after seeing documentation, speaking with people he knows, etc., then go meet in person and see where the relationship goes from there.  Slow and steady wins the race in love and in US immigration.  Good luck!

Hello and thank you. To be fair the divorce was official in the US end of 2019 and then everything started shutting down because of COVID. He tried getting the copies of the court docs translated and filed a couple of months after things started opening again there but they wouldn’t accept the copies. Yes, I’m taking it slow and not committing to anything long term if we haven’t even met in person once. Thank you!!!

[Pinkrlion 2,719]

Date for more than a year and learn and grow with each other.  Visit him and get to know him on a in-person level.  Then your doubts will deminish.   

[SteveInBostonI130 3,434]

@JVal91

 

Hello.

 

I've read your posts and responses.  I would advise you to treat this as a developing relationship first.  Don't think about immigration or marriage, until you have spent time with him and know he is the one.

 

During these times of isolation and instability, it is comforting to turn to an online relationship.  But these are unusual times and outside stresses skews our perspectives.  Would the relationship have gone the same if it was normal, when you could see others outside and spend more time with your friends and family?  Or you or your boyfriend could have traveled to meet by now?

 

There are some red flags, as others have pointed out.  All these red flags are non factors if talks and thoughts of immigration are off the table.  Just focus on the relationship.  If your boyfriend tries to steer back to immigration rather than enjoying your relationship...then you have an answer.  

[SalishSea 17,829]

1 minute ago, JVal91 said:

Hello and thank you. To be fair the divorce was official in the US end of 2019 and then everything started shutting down because of COVID. He tried getting the copies of the court docs translated and filed a couple of months after things started opening again there but they wouldn’t accept the copies. Yes, I’m taking it slow and not committing to anything long term if we haven’t even met in person once. Thank you!!!

One thing about Jeanne's (our resident Morocco expert) reply that you may have missed, is that the need for multiple/long visits is also critically important for a visa approval in Casablanca.  Morocco is a high fraud/high risk country when it comes to US immigration, and so those who met and married on the first visit, or have spent little time together in person are often denied for suspicion of marriage fraud.

 

My best advice is to read, read, read the stories here on VJ.  While it is early days in your relationship, if it does eventually lead to immigration being a part of the scenario, it is vital to be as educated as possible about the steps and struggles involved.  One thing is for sure:  it will not be fast, or cheap.

 

 

[thisisnotnormal 12]

My gut is telling me he was denied CR1 with the old wife and is now divorcing her to try someone else and if that is the case he is even more likely to be denied the second time around. Has he asked specifically what your income is?

[SalishSea 17,829]

26 minutes ago, thisisnotnormal said:

My gut is telling me he was denied CR1 with the old wife and is now divorcing her to try someone else and if that is the case he is even more likely to be denied the second time around. Has he asked specifically what your income is?

Interesting......OP, how far into the CR1 process were they with the previous marriage?  Anyone know if this is something that could be discoverable via FOIA?

[JeanneAdil 6,504]

46 minutes ago, thisisnotnormal said:

My gut is telling me he was denied CR1 with the old wife and is now divorcing her to try someone else and if that is the case he is even more likely to be denied the second time around. Has he asked specifically what your income is?

A Morocco man will not ask her what her income is

if this is an interest to him (as they know the process gets expensive and they are well aware of income requirements),  he will contact another Moroccan living in the USA and ask them what kind of money she may make at tnis job / they think it is improper to ask the woman 

 

BTW   to the OP

look into all the requirements yourself of expense to travel to Morocco for the meeting (if you go that far) and the income for a K1 and /or a CR1 and the benefits of the CR1 over the K1

otherwise just visit Morocco and enjoy the vacation

and don't let friends and family discourage you,   he and his family will feel very responsible for your safety in Morocco

 

[JonSeattle 202]

There's a lot of red flags. One is his employment history. If he comes to the US, you will be held responsible for supporting him even if you get divorced after he gets here. Are you in a financial position to accept that risk? How confident are you in his ability and willingness to hold down an entry-level job for the long term?

 

Beyond that, you need to get a very clear understanding of how you two will live together through hard times. An important part of that is how he deeply feels for you and what he will be willing to do to help you when you need it while he is having a hard time also. It takes time together to develop that commitment to each other.

 

Good luck, I hope you find happiness somewhere, even if not through this man.

[lucardo3 220]

Listen to your heart, and his actions... You will find the answer.

Edited December 2, 2020 by lucardo3