Abuse

[heart_over_head 0]

Someone referred me to this place after I told them about what's happening.

My dad's niece is in America because my mom's friend's friend agreed to marry her. My parents believe that life in the US is better than life in Vietnam. She works illegally in Walmart or Target cutting off some parts in clothes or something. Her husband wanted to marry a virgin and when he found out she wasn't a virgin, he got really mad at her. Sometimes he hits her and he doesn't let her see us. Sometimes he acts really nice to her, other times he can get REALLY mad. It's so on and off. She has to privately call us when he's not home because he doesn't allow it. My parents are like "oh, it's their own thing, we shouldn't interfer in their issues." We have not seen her in American before and she's been here for over a year or so. Now she doesn't call anymore and got afraid when my mom tried to convince her to report it. We don't know her phone number or address. From what I've heard, her husband is really controlling, but I haven't heard anything about her in so long and I'm worried. The last thing I heard from her was that she feels like she's going insane because she doesn't know anyone here and because of the abuse. And that she is very sad.

My mom mentioned something about the abuse sometime ago, and my dad was like "Oh, don't mention this around the crazy girl. She'll just yell at us for no reason." I've always told them that this is serious, but they wouldn't do anything about it.

Honestly, what can I do? I don't know her address or number and it's been difficult trying to look it up. My parents don't want to call the police in fear she will get sent back because she has to be with him for X amount of years to become a citizen, and she will not petition for abuse. We live in Washington.

Edited June 26, 2007 by heart_over_head

[Dan J 277]

Someone referred me to this place after I told them about what's happening.

My dad's niece is in America because my mom's friend's friend agreed to marry her. My parents believe that life in the US is better than life in Vietnam. She works illegally in Walmart or Target cutting off some parts in clothes or something. Her husband wanted to marry a virgin and when he found out she wasn't a virgin, he got really mad at her. Sometimes he hits her and he doesn't let her see us. Sometimes he acts really nice to her, other times he can get REALLY mad. It's so on and off. She has to privately call us when he's not home because he doesn't allow it. My parents are like "oh, it's their own thing, we shouldn't interfer in their issues." We have not seen her in American before and she's been here for over a year or so. Now she doesn't call anymore and got afraid when my mom tried to convince her to report it. We don't know her phone number or address. From what I've heard, her husband is really controlling, but I haven't heard anything about her in so long and I'm worried. The last thing I heard from her was that she feels like she's going insane because she doesn't know anyone here and because of the abuse. And that she is very sad.

My mom mentioned something about the abuse sometime ago, and my dad was like "Oh, don't mention this around the crazy girl. She'll just yell at us for no reason." I've always told them that this is serious, but they wouldn't do anything about it.

Honestly, what can I do? I don't know her address or number and it's been difficult trying to look it up. My parents don't want to call the police in fear she will get sent back because she has to be with him for X amount of years to become a citizen, and she will not petition for abuse. We live in Washington.

She can do alot, if you can get ahold of her. But there isnt much you can do on her behalf.

If she is facing violent abuse, she needs to call the police file a report, and then leave. There are battered women shelters in most places around the US. They can help her with a safe place to stay.

As far as immigration status. Its not that bad for her. After AOS, she can file for removal of conditions and for naturalization on her own without her husband. If she doesn't have her green card yet, its a little bit harder. But still possible with VAWA (Violence Against Women Act, I think?) it allows for her to file to adjust status on her own. I'm not really familiar with it, but others on the board may be.

There are places to get free legal help, such as catholic charities. You don't need to be catholic to use them. There may be other organizations offering free legal help in your area.

[wjr 3]

Someone referred me to this place after I told them about what's happening.

My dad's niece is in America because my mom's friend's friend agreed to marry her. My parents believe that life in the US is better than life in Vietnam. She works illegally in Walmart or Target cutting off some parts in clothes or something. Her husband wanted to marry a virgin and when he found out she wasn't a virgin, he got really mad at her. Sometimes he hits her and he doesn't let her see us. Sometimes he acts really nice to her, other times he can get REALLY mad. It's so on and off. She has to privately call us when he's not home because he doesn't allow it. My parents are like "oh, it's their own thing, we shouldn't interfer in their issues." We have not seen her in American before and she's been here for over a year or so. Now she doesn't call anymore and got afraid when my mom tried to convince her to report it. We don't know her phone number or address. From what I've heard, her husband is really controlling, but I haven't heard anything about her in so long and I'm worried. The last thing I heard from her was that she feels like she's going insane because she doesn't know anyone here and because of the abuse. And that she is very sad.

My mom mentioned something about the abuse sometime ago, and my dad was like "Oh, don't mention this around the crazy girl. She'll just yell at us for no reason." I've always told them that this is serious, but they wouldn't do anything about it.

Honestly, what can I do? I don't know her address or number and it's been difficult trying to look it up. My parents don't want to call the police in fear she will get sent back because she has to be with him for X amount of years to become a citizen, and she will not petition for abuse. We live in Washington.

Do you know of there last location (ie: address, phone number, etc)?? If so it would be worth paying a few dollars to do a search on him, to find there new location. Just do a yahoo search for people search, etc. Research your results good and then pick one you feel comfortable with. Some give you a sample, which actually brings up the person's and towns or streets they have lived at, the only thing they won't show you is the full report. Also, some of these companies will not charge you if it is the wrong person, and allows you to keep searching until you find them. But I think your best bet would be to search for him. Try to get full name, birth date, age, etc as much as you can possibly find out. This way you will be for sure when or if you do decide to pay for a search. WJR

Edited June 27, 2007 by wjr

[milimelo 4,544]

Someone referred me to this place after I told them about what's happening.

My dad's niece is in America because my mom's friend's friend agreed to marry her. My parents believe that life in the US is better than life in Vietnam. She works illegally in Walmart or Target cutting off some parts in clothes or something. Her husband wanted to marry a virgin and when he found out she wasn't a virgin, he got really mad at her. Sometimes he hits her and he doesn't let her see us. Sometimes he acts really nice to her, other times he can get REALLY mad. It's so on and off. She has to privately call us when he's not home because he doesn't allow it. My parents are like "oh, it's their own thing, we shouldn't interfer in their issues." We have not seen her in American before and she's been here for over a year or so. Now she doesn't call anymore and got afraid when my mom tried to convince her to report it. We don't know her phone number or address. From what I've heard, her husband is really controlling, but I haven't heard anything about her in so long and I'm worried. The last thing I heard from her was that she feels like she's going insane because she doesn't know anyone here and because of the abuse. And that she is very sad.

My mom mentioned something about the abuse sometime ago, and my dad was like "Oh, don't mention this around the crazy girl. She'll just yell at us for no reason." I've always told them that this is serious, but they wouldn't do anything about it.

Honestly, what can I do? I don't know her address or number and it's been difficult trying to look it up. My parents don't want to call the police in fear she will get sent back because she has to be with him for X amount of years to become a citizen, and she will not petition for abuse. We live in Washington.

To start with the address/phone number - try looking them up using his information (name, last name and possibly state where they live - otherwise you could get too many hits if you select entire USA). Try www.whitepages.com

If you live in Washington, and she called you from her house, you could look it up on your phone bills - it should list both calls made and received.

Hope this helps you get in touch with her.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Someone referred me to this place after I told them about what's happening.

My dad's niece is in America because my mom's friend's friend agreed to marry her. My parents believe that life in the US is better than life in Vietnam. She works illegally in Walmart or Target cutting off some parts in clothes or something. Her husband wanted to marry a virgin and when he found out she wasn't a virgin, he got really mad at her. Sometimes he hits her and he doesn't let her see us. Sometimes he acts really nice to her, other times he can get REALLY mad. It's so on and off. She has to privately call us when he's not home because he doesn't allow it. My parents are like "oh, it's their own thing, we shouldn't interfer in their issues." We have not seen her in American before and she's been here for over a year or so. Now she doesn't call anymore and got afraid when my mom tried to convince her to report it. We don't know her phone number or address. From what I've heard, her husband is really controlling, but I haven't heard anything about her in so long and I'm worried. The last thing I heard from her was that she feels like she's going insane because she doesn't know anyone here and because of the abuse. And that she is very sad.

My mom mentioned something about the abuse sometime ago, and my dad was like "Oh, don't mention this around the crazy girl. She'll just yell at us for no reason." I've always told them that this is serious, but they wouldn't do anything about it.

Honestly, what can I do? I don't know her address or number and it's been difficult trying to look it up. My parents don't want to call the police in fear she will get sent back because she has to be with him for X amount of years to become a citizen, and she will not petition for abuse. We live in Washington.

Difficult situation, since this sounds like a marriage of convenience for immigration purposes. Claiming abuse could be tricky if she received the potential for permanent residency in return for marrying your mother's friend's friend. Perhaps that is the reason your father's neice was disinclined to report the abuse. Here's hoping she's safe and sound and can come to a decision shortly as to what she should do.