Abandoned by my USC husband

[Luke+Lea 7]

Hello everyone. So I and my USC husband has been married for 4 years. Before our 4th anniversary a couple of months ago, he left me alone in Denver, drove to his family in California. I didn’t see it coming! We had misunderstanding and arguments as husband and wife,  but we’ve been okay for several days before he left. From then on, I’ve been trying to fix our relationship, but he keeps shifting his feelings towards me. Like  he just expressed he still love me and will drive back to Denver to be with me and few minutes or hours later, he said the marriage cannot work anymore. Or expressed love interest today and won’t hear anything from him in the next 2-3 days. Last week, I went to San Francisco  to meet him, to start getting back together again, as we agreed previously. He didn’t show up, but his mom and her best friend showed up, and I drove with his mom to their hometown, where he lives now. We met there, we stayed at his mom’s house, was okay for a couple of days but had to leave earlier than plan with so many tears because suddenly, he left again, went back to his dad’s house and called me that he wants a divorce. I went back to Denver that day, still wanting to communicate with him. We communicated again on and off.  For 4 years, his father has been feeding his thoughts that he married a scammer, that I married him for green card, that I am not a real Christian. My husband also had a history of Schizophrenia as a teenager. And I think, even his mother thinks, that he is showing again symptoms of Schizophrenia with Paranoia. I have loved him and I still do. I wish we could still fix our marriage. But there is no way to reach him now, as he sent back to me last week his phone I’ve been paying for us. And today, I called his father’s landline phone in California (he lives with his dad and step mom now) and my husband’s step mom answered the phone telling me that my husband doesn’t want to talk to me anymore and to stop calling them. Now, with a heavy heart, I want to file a divorce. My questions are: 

 

1.) Will my divorce be finalized even if my estranged husband won’t sign the divorce paper? 
 

2.) Last August 2020, we filed together to uplift conditional status of my green card, 

what should I do now that he won’t be showing up during the interview (I don’t have the interview date yet.) 

 

3.) My husband had been jobless for 7 months until he drove to California and work at Walmart. I have been paying single handedly for our rent, phone bills, storage, auto loan. He has our car with him and he wants to own it alone. Can I still get back some money from all the payments I paid for the car? I make good money with my job now. And the car loan that is supposed to be 6 years maturity, I am able to pay it off for less than 2 years. 

 

4.) Will he be entitled of my earnings and savings although I have it in my personal bank account? 
 

Thank you so much in advance. 

[mushroomspore 3,044]

21 minutes ago, Luke+Lea said:

Hello everyone. So I and my USC husband has been married for 4 years. Before our 4th anniversary a couple of months ago, he left me alone in Denver, drove to his family in California. I didn’t see it coming! We had misunderstanding and arguments as husband and wife,  but we’ve been okay for several days before he left. From then on, I’ve been trying to fix our relationship, but he keeps shifting his feelings towards me. Like  he just expressed he still love me and will drive back to Denver to be with me and few minutes or hours later, he said the marriage cannot work anymore. Or expressed love interest today and won’t hear anything from him in the next 2-3 days. Last week, I went to San Francisco  to meet him, to start getting back together again, as we agreed previously. He didn’t show up, but his mom and her best friend showed up, and I drove with his mom to their hometown, where he lives now. We met there, we stayed at his mom’s house, was okay for a couple of days but had to leave earlier than plan with so many tears because suddenly, he left again, went back to his dad’s house and called me that he wants a divorce. I went back to Denver that day, still wanting to communicate with him. We communicated again on and off.  For 4 years, his father has been feeding his thoughts that he married a scammer, that I married him for green card, that I am not a real Christian. My husband also had a history of Schizophrenia as a teenager. And I think, even his mother thinks, that he is showing again symptoms of Schizophrenia with Paranoia. I have loved him and I still do. I wish we could still fix our marriage. But there is no way to reach him now, as he sent back to me last week his phone I’ve been paying for us. And today, I called his father’s landline phone in California (he lives with his dad and step mom now) and my husband’s step mom answered the phone telling me that my husband doesn’t want to talk to me anymore and to stop calling them. Now, with a heavy heart, I want to file a divorce. My questions are: 

 

1.) Will my divorce be finalized even if my estranged husband won’t sign the divorce paper? 
 

2.) Last August 2020, we filed together to uplift conditional status of my green card, 

what should I do now that he won’t be showing up during the interview (I don’t have the interview date yet.) 

 

3.) My husband had been jobless for 7 months until he drove to California and work at Walmart. I have been paying single handedly for our rent, phone bills, storage, auto loan. He has our car with him and he wants to own it alone. Can I still get back some money from all the payments I paid for the car? I make good money with my job now. And the car loan that is supposed to be 6 years maturity, I am able to pay it off for less than 2 years. 

 

4.) Will he be entitled of my earnings and savings although I have it in my personal bank account? 
 

Thank you so much in advance. 

First, I'm really sorry you're going through this. I have a schizophrenic family member who showed symptoms during adolescence but was not diagnosed until he was an adult. It had very enormous and dramatic effects on my entire family (both immediate and extended). I know how difficult it is to love someone with such a complex disease that even the best scientists and doctors still have little understanding of. As much as it hurts, it sounds like divorce is the best option here since your husband has ceased communication here. To answer your questions:

 

1. Divorce laws vary state to state, so it would depend where exactly the divorce is filed and this is something to ask your divorce lawyer about. Yes, you will need a lawyer for this, so please find one if you haven't already. In GENERAL (again, laws are specific to your state/area), most places will allow you a successful divorce even if your spouse refuses to sign the divorce papers.

 

2. Many couples file joint I-751 but then go through divorce after. You need to submit a divorce waiver and then submit your final divorce decree when it finally is approved or at the time of interview if it takes that long.

 

3. That's not immigration related so people here can't really answer that. You would have to ask your divorce lawyer about that.

 

4. If it's your personal bank account (not joint account), then no. If there was no pre-nup, then he could try to argue he's entitled to certain assets or whatever, but again, that's for the lawyers and court to figure out. If there was a pre-nup, there's no arguing and the division of assets and finances that was already decided in the pre-nup will be carried out. However, I am guessing that there was no pre-nup for you guys. In short: get a lawyer.

Edited November 9, 2020 by mushroomspore

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

I am sorry you are going through this. You deserve better and I'm glad you have a stable career to support yourself. You do not need him to remove conditions on your greencard or to attend an interview. You can submit a divorce waiver.

If you are worried he may go after your finances I would suggest to obtain a divorce lawyer. Additionally- he signed the I864 and HE is responsible for you if you become a public charge. Is the car in both of your names or just yours? I do not believe you can get the money back you paid into it. This is also something for the lawyer- you don't want him to ruin your credit as well. 

FYI you may not be aware but schizophrenia does not go away- if you have it, you have it. He may have managed his symptoms on medications but it never "went away". I wish you a lot of luck. I personally wouldn't worry about the immigration aspect of your life but more so the divorce- finances and lawyer. 

[Unlockable 7,314]

*** Moved to  "Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits " section of the forum

 

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