Thread Ownership

[ChasUK 0]

controlled...poster brings up personal life, people discuss it in a rational manner, topic gets stale after a few days as most do...topic dies...no real impetus to make OP feel regret for starting it.

.....I can't see how if it was in a controlled fashion, what would make the OP change his/her mind and request a lock.

If the topic has died, it is falling down the forum anyway and the OP would have no need to ask for it to be closed and probably wouldn't bother. We are not talking about a thread that has died tho. An OP would ask for a thread to be closed to prevent the discussion going further, if it has died they wouldn't feel the need. Seems an invalid example. Sorry.

You've essentially just repeated what I've said...which is why I differentiated between 'controlled' and 'out of hand' I cannot think of an example where a controlled conversation would need a thread lock. Since that's what you're asking me to comment on, and since I can't come up with it...can you please provide an example?

No, I don't have an example, I'm responding to your thoughts, and I am assuming, since you started this thread that you had examples that you had seen. I'm not repeating what you said, I'm saying the OP would not ask for such a thread to be closed as it would be disappearing anyway. I'm saying only in an out of hand thread would an OP ask for it to be closed.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Is this thread out of hand yet?

[Fandango 1,439]

Is this thread out of hand yet?

Not quite...fingers crossed it stays that way but one never knows!

[Caladan 19]

It's a decent enough rule. It would be nice to pretend that no one would ever jump on anyone unless they gave out personal details, but VJ has an annoying habit of deciding what someone's backstory must be in the most harmful way possible.

And while I think people could err on the side of discretion, there's no way to ask what to do about a divorce or a legal situation without at least sketching some details, because then everyone will say, 'we can't help you unless we know more details' and then the harpies come in to feed. I can totally see why someone might want a thread closed when it has veered into speculation about whether their marriage is fraudulent, or whether they're a ####### or a bad mother or whatever, and I see no particular need to keep a thread open just so people can feel like their freedom to be cruel hasn't been infringed.

And to make it easier on the mods, I think it's better to have a blanket rule that the OP owns the thread, so the mods aren't in the position of deciding whether the attacks have become personal enough to warrant a lock. ("no, no, we can't close it yet. We're under the threshold of insults.")

[RaspberrySwirl 20]

Is this thread out of hand yet?

You're posting in it.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Is this thread out of hand yet?

You're posting in it.

Your comment is mean and snide and takes away from my enjoyment of these forums.

[Fandango 1,439]

No, I don't have an example, I'm responding to your thoughts, and I am assuming, since you started this thread that you had examples that you had seen. I'm not repeating what you said, I'm saying the OP would not ask for such a thread to be closed as it would be disappearing anyway. I'm saying only in an out of hand thread would an OP ask for it to be closed.

I'm really not sure what you're exactly getting at, so I'll reiterate.

I said I can understand exceptions with thread locking in instances where the OP has put personal info out there & the thread is out of hand which makes the OP regret starting the thread.

You asked 'what about a controlled thread'? Well since I haven't seen an instance where a controlled conversation dealing with personal information has an OP requesting a lock, I really cannot comment on it. You brought that up, and since you are unable to provide an example for me, there's no answer I can give.

Edited June 26, 2007 by LisaD

[RaspberrySwirl 20]

Is this thread out of hand yet?

You're posting in it.

Your comment is mean and snide and takes away from my enjoyment of these forums.

No no, now you say: I'm not going to rise to the occasion which means there is no fight.

::facepalm::

[ChasUK 0]

No, I don't have an example, I'm responding to your thoughts, and I am assuming, since you started this thread that you had examples that you had seen. I'm not repeating what you said, I'm saying the OP would not ask for such a thread to be closed as it would be disappearing anyway. I'm saying only in an out of hand thread would an OP ask for it to be closed.

I'm really not sure what you're exactly getting at, so I'll reiterate.

I said I can understand exceptions with thread locking in instances where the OP has put personal info out there & the thread is out of hand which makes the OP regret starting the thread.

You asked 'what about a controlled thread'? Well since I haven't seen an instance where a controlled conversation dealing with personal information has an OP requesting a lock, I really cannot comment on it. You brought that up, and since you are unable to provide an example for me, there's no answer I can give.

I'll reiterate too. It's your thread. You have the examples. A controlled thread would not have an OP ask for it to be closed under the circumstances you stated. therefore your point , which my first question was aimed is still invalid.

Thank you for understanding

Edited June 26, 2007 by Gone

[Fandango 1,439]

I'll reiterate too. It's your thread. You have the examples. A controlled thread would not have an OP ask for it to be closed under the circumstances you stated. therefore your point , which my first question was aimed is still invalid.

Thank you for understanding

Clearly neither one of us are understanding one another so have a great night!

But I don't consider this 'my thread'...I asked a question, but where this thread goes is not solely up to me.

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

i don't understand the questioning of the option the OP has to ask the thread be locked. be it for whatever reason. nuthing wrong with some kind of ownership.

Daniel

:energetic:

[Alex+R 0]

Sometimes people say "this is my thread so stop disagreeing with me" and that's clearly wack, but most of those people aren't around VJ too much these days. If someone brings their personal life out, they have to take what they get. If people start seriously harrassing them, then they can stop reading the thread. I've done that before. I don't whine that I want my thread closed. I'm very open about my personal life here (to an extent, of course) but I understand that comes with consequences.

[Ta Ta 1]

It's a decent enough rule. It would be nice to pretend that no one would ever jump on anyone unless they gave out personal details, but VJ has an annoying habit of deciding what someone's backstory must be in the most harmful way possible.

And while I think people could err on the side of discretion, there's no way to ask what to do about a divorce or a legal situation without at least sketching some details, because then everyone will say, 'we can't help you unless we know more details' and then the harpies come in to feed. I can totally see why someone might want a thread closed when it has veered into speculation about whether their marriage is fraudulent, or whether they're a ####### or a bad mother or whatever, and I see no particular need to keep a thread open just so people can feel like their freedom to be cruel hasn't been infringed.

And to make it easier on the mods, I think it's better to have a blanket rule that the OP owns the thread, so the mods aren't in the position of deciding whether the attacks have become personal enough to warrant a lock. ("no, no, we can't close it yet. We're under the threshold of insults.")

I agree. To simplify this have a blanket rule that the OP can ask the thread to be locked. Period. Who cares if the thread

gets locked by request of the OP ? Start a different one.

This all reminds me of :much to do about nothing !

I miss the days when Ewok came out of nowhere, closed the thread with a few short words and then he went back into

the deep forbidden forest. There was respect.

Now it seems like chaos, Ewok and mods are trying to interact and explain the why's.

Authority is being challenged and disrespected and it is never enough.

I believe it would be better for mods and Ewok to make a short statement and that is that without

being available to explain every move they make. Some people feel the need to challenge every authority they come

in contact with.

Take it to Pm's.

My suggestion for the mods.....don't overuse the lock ability. I like the nudge to stay on topic. When constantly

challenged as to why's and whinings, remain a little more in the background and don't allow yourselves to get pulled into

long discussions defending your judgement. Remember children ( and some adults ) will forever test if given bounderies !

Simplify, few words and less explanations work best in my opinion rather than long threads answering why this and why that.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Ok, I think I have an example. Due to no fault but my own, the same has happened to me, but I don't think I requested the thread to be locked. I honestly don't remember at this point.

Anyway...there could be a thread in which personal life is discussed...for the most part, it is in a calm, rational, supportive, or whatever manner. There may be only a couple of snide, (whatever) responses and a bunch of really nice ones. Or, there may be NO snide remarks/responses but the OP just wants the thread to be closed so it will drift down the page because when he/she got into a more rational state he/she regretted ever starting it/was embarrassed by it/was annoyed at the couple snide remarks even tho most were supportive/...whatever.

I guess most of the time your example, Chas, might just be because someone changed his/her mind even if the conversation stayed rational.

In that instance, should the OP be able to decide if the thread gets locked? (Is that what you meant, Chas? Sorry if I'm off base...I was just trying to decide if that's what you meant..not trying to put words in your mouth.)

In that particular instance, my opinion would be yes....if it has to do with the OP's personal life, they should be able to shut it down for ANY reason. My opinion only.

If the thread has nothing personal to do with the OP and it was just any old topic that just veered off from what he/she originally meant it to be...they shouldn't be allowed to close that, IMO. Personal attacks can be made invisible, or however else they are dealt with here...but I see no reason to have to shut down an entire thread. Many of the threads....I would even venture to say most...in off topic go off topic of the original topic eventually! (Yes, I know that sounded silly, but you know what I was getting at!) Even if they stay pretty much ON topic...there are almost always some posts in the thread which have nothing to do with what the OP intended.

Anyway...my twelve cents or whatever the going rate nowdays. M.

ETA: The best example I can think of is the one Craig started and I participated in the most (of the two of us) ages ago...those of you around for any length of time know the one, unfortunately. Neither Craig nor I care much about sharing our personal life on a message board...but we, regrettably, sort of forgot that when you put "it" out there, you're going to get varied responses...not ONLY sympathy/support even if that's all you're looking for. Our mistake, no one else's, but if I were in that situation today, I would have the thread locked even though a vast majority of the responses were good/supportive. There were a couple of people who instisted on being rude, and neither Craig nor I were in the frame of mind to be dealing with that at the time. Yes, you're right, we should have never started it then...but, live and learn, right? So...point being..in that case, primarily civil/supportive discussion...would have wanted it locked. M.

Edited June 26, 2007 by MichelleandCraig

[john_and_marlene 162]

I like the idea of banning whiners that post personal information then throw a tantrum when they don't get the reaction they want. Make it cost them to close the thread--like a 3 day ban per closing. Maybe that cost will moderate some of the assinine topics that get started. If you don't want to know what people think, then don't post the revealing information.