Visit from officers with Cairo Consulate

[amrssnowangel 0]

Seems there doesn't have to be any red flags to be honored with a home visit. Since they do have new personell in the embassy there, I wonder if this is a way to just verify the SO. Im concerned though. My SO and I haven't had an "official" egyptian engagement and party. WE dont intend to. So will this actually HURT us that there isn't some huge party and that EVERYONE knows? His family knows we will marry when he comes. Thats it. Not even sure all the neighbors know....lol. And to date, I've not met his partnes in person. Just have attempts to talk to his mom on the phone. So, is this visit to just verify that he lives there, is who he says he is? That he's not married? What if the fa;mily DIDNT give full approval...(they do in our case...) I mean, what does the family's approval have to do witha couples intent to marry for love? Its important...and thank God his family is ok with us. But its not like they have my pic all over the house and its not like we made a huge deal over this. Do we NEED to do more? Do i HAVE to meet his family to gain approval? Do we NEED a huge party to prove our love and commitment and the reality of our relationship? Or are these visits more so to make sure about HIM. HELP ME UNDERSTAND....

[Aymerlu 3]

Seems there doesn't have to be any red flags to be honored with a home visit. Since they do have new personell in the embassy there, I wonder if this is a way to just verify the SO. Im concerned though. My SO and I haven't had an "official" egyptian engagement and party. WE dont intend to. So will this actually HURT us that there isn't some huge party and that EVERYONE knows? His family knows we will marry when he comes. Thats it. Not even sure all the neighbors know....lol. And to date, I've not met his partnes in person. Just have attempts to talk to his mom on the phone. So, is this visit to just verify that he lives there, is who he says he is? That he's not married? What if the fa;mily DIDNT give full approval...(they do in our case...) I mean, what does the family's approval have to do witha couples intent to marry for love? Its important...and thank God his family is ok with us. But its not like they have my pic all over the house and its not like we made a huge deal over this. Do we NEED to do more? Do i HAVE to meet his family to gain approval? Do we NEED a huge party to prove our love and commitment and the reality of our relationship? Or are these visits more so to make sure about HIM. HELP ME UNDERSTAND....

No, you don't need to have a big engagement party. There's been quite a few gals on here that didn't have the party and their SO received the visa just fine. Since his family gives approval I wouldn't worry. Everything will be fine.

[ya falaha! 0]

Yikes I wonder if this will become the norm now. I really hope not.

[amrssnowangel 0]

Seems there doesn't have to be any red flags to be honored with a home visit. Since they do have new personell in the embassy there, I wonder if this is a way to just verify the SO. Im concerned though. My SO and I haven't had an "official" egyptian engagement and party. WE dont intend to. So will this actually HURT us that there isn't some huge party and that EVERYONE knows? His family knows we will marry when he comes. Thats it. Not even sure all the neighbors know....lol. And to date, I've not met his partnes in person. Just have attempts to talk to his mom on the phone. So, is this visit to just verify that he lives there, is who he says he is? That he's not married? What if the fa;mily DIDNT give full approval...(they do in our case...) I mean, what does the family's approval have to do witha couples intent to marry for love? Its important...and thank God his family is ok with us. But its not like they have my pic all over the house and its not like we made a huge deal over this. Do we NEED to do more? Do i HAVE to meet his family to gain approval? Do we NEED a huge party to prove our love and commitment and the reality of our relationship? Or are these visits more so to make sure about HIM. HELP ME UNDERSTAND....

No, you don't need to have a big engagement party. There's been quite a few gals on here that didn't have the party and their SO received the visa just fine. Since his family gives approval I wouldn't worry. Everything will be fine.

Thank you...I was starting to panic. I talk to his mom on the phone...well ATTEMPT to...my arabic is really BAD...lol..Can't understand a word she says even though i know some things i just can't understand HER. I haven't met them in person yet, but hope she will initiate that in August when I go. They are more traditional so I count myself lucky that they have accepted us to marry. I know that if an older american woman came to visit their son and them it would cause all sorts of talk in the neighborhood so I'm going to suggest a public meeting in a restaurant first. But they seem ok with us together and the visa and him traveling to America. Sad he will leave but happy that he is happy. I noticed doodlebug says she didn't know how hers felt about pics on walls of people...good thing she mentioned that...THAT is something we never discussed. He does have pics of me...just don't know WHERE he puts them?? hehehehehe..... Well we are holding on for the "journey of a lifetime". We only pray its SMOOTH.

Best of luck to everyone out there....God Bless.... SAlam Alaikum

[ya falaha! 0]

Amrs...where is your SO's family from in Egypt? My husband's family is from a rural town and is somewhat traditional (their neighborhood is full of very traditional ppl). They had no prob having me stay in their home even before we were married. Staying in my own flat or hotel was out of the question. Foreigners coming to marry Egyptians isn't unusual anymore so I don't see how visiting them at home would be a problem. I believe it would help your case tremendously esp. if home visits are becoming the norm.

[amrssnowangel 0]

Amrs...where is your SO's family from in Egypt? My husband's family is from a rural town and is somewhat traditional (their neighborhood is full of very traditional ppl). They had no prob having me stay in their home even before we were married. Staying in my own flat or hotel was out of the question. Foreigners coming to marry Egyptians isn't unusual anymore so I don't see how visiting them at home would be a problem. I believe it would help your case tremendously esp. if home visits are becoming the norm.

Actually he's from Cairo. My SO is a soft spoken gentlle shy man. We have an age gap and weren't even sure how his family would take that. They've known of us for 3.5 years, but after we decided to go ahead with our K1 (long story) he filled them in on all. Im sure once they know Im coming in August they will invite me over. Just seems his family is a bit more reserved. He's stepped lightly with them since so many DO still not accept an older woman for their egyptian son. He's from Cairo...a more progressive area of Egypt, but still....he claims the conotations of an OLDER woman staying in their home could raise eyebrows. I don't know. Maybe his family is the odd ones. I will talk to him about more of a visit there. But Im not sure why the embassy would hold my staying there in high regards Each family is different in beliefs and values and customs. They can't fit everyone into one mold. In shaa Allah. Thank you for the advice. I will talk to him about it more.

[ya falaha! 0]

I don't necessarily think that staying there would be of an advantage but visiting the home may be. It would certainly look better to an embassy official if they were to come snooping around. At least the family and neighbors would know who you are and would be better equipped to answer questions. That is if these home visits start becoming a "habit". Other than for that reason it's prolly doesn't matter if you meet them in a cafe or in their living room.

[deemabrouk 0]

Everytime I stay in Alex... we rented a new flat.. SO i dont think the neighbors at my husbands house would have ANY clue about me... BUT inshallah if they ask his family.. they will get a ear full about me.. THANK GOD i sent him a million pictures from my trips! I'm gonna tell them to keep the picture book out.. incase they have a surprise guest!

No pics of me on the wall 'cause they are against having pictures of people up. As a matter of fact that's something we've always gone back and forth about...i.e. whether he's ok with the pictures that I already have up.

Well its kinda funny.. cause there are NO other pictures in their flat.. But when I walked into my MIL's room.. I was shocked to see a studio portrait of me on her dresser - when I was in my wedding dress Even I dont have a copy of that pic!

Edited June 26, 2007 by deemabrouk

[amrssnowangel 0]

I don't necessarily think that staying there would be of an advantage but visiting the home may be. It would certainly look better to an embassy official if they were to come snooping around. At least the family and neighbors would know who you are and would be better equipped to answer questions. That is if these home visits start becoming a "habit". Other than for that reason it's prolly doesn't matter if you meet them in a cafe or in their living room.

Sounds Reasonable. Im just really stressed out over this whole process and thats BEFORE we get to AP!!! LOL.... I just want to do this right so we aren't delayed. I was hoping to at least get pictures of his parents and us together so we can supply additional information if needed at the interview of the on going relationship. I do know when his brother married, his parents met her once....to get aquainted..the rest of the contact was with her parents to get to know them and agree on the wedding contract content. I know in a more traditional Muslim home, they discourage the "dating" of a couple and sometimes a couple will do a marriage contract ahead of the "wedding party" so they CAN spend more time together to make it ok in the publics eye. So I can see how my STAYING there would raise a few eyebrows. I know of others who stayed at their SO's home while visiting but I also know families that would never allow this due to the beliefs. So Im hoping that this doesn't cause us any issues.

Thanks

[amrssnowangel 0]

Everytime I stay in Alex... we rented a new flat.. SO i dont think the neighbors at my husbands house would have ANY clue about me... BUT inshallah if they ask his family.. they will get a ear full about me.. THANK GOD i sent him a million pictures from my trips! I'm gonna tell them to keep the picture book out.. incase they have a surprise guest!

No pics of me on the wall 'cause they are against having pictures of people up. As a matter of fact that's something we've always gone back and forth about...i.e. whether he's ok with the pictures that I already have up.

Well its kinda funny.. cause there are NO other pictures in their flat.. But when I walked into my MIL's room.. I was shocked to see a studio portrait of me on her dresser - when I was in my wedding dress Even I dont have a copy of that pic!

I think the pics and the family knowledge and approval in Egypt of all places would do. I think its sweet she has your wedding picture up. I visited a family that did that as well. They had no pictures anywhere but on the moms dresser was of her son and his wife. My SO has pics of me and he will get more. I am also in the process of writing his mother letters, and having them translated into Arabic for her so she can read them herself. I will attach copies of these to his packet as additional proof if its needed that we have that on going relationship and his parents acknowledge us.

I really think a lot of the purpose of these visits is to investigate HIM. Is he who he says he is...do people know if he's married already, has another wife...ect. I think its a matter of moral character as well. I mean...even families will approve and put up pics when the marriage is only for visa...they will do what it takes to get their son to the USA. So I can't see how these home meetings proof a valid relationship that isn't just for a visa. THATS why I think its mostly for the character of the man and woman....and to check to be sure he is eligible tomarry and not taking advantage.

[mybackpages 0]

I don't necessarily think that staying there would be of an advantage but visiting the home may be. It would certainly look better to an embassy official if they were to come snooping around. At least the family and neighbors would know who you are and would be better equipped to answer questions. That is if these home visits start becoming a "habit". Other than for that reason it's prolly doesn't matter if you meet them in a cafe or in their living room.

Sounds Reasonable. Im just really stressed out over this whole process and thats BEFORE we get to AP!!! LOL.... I just want to do this right so we aren't delayed. I was hoping to at least get pictures of his parents and us together so we can supply additional information if needed at the interview of the on going relationship. I do know when his brother married, his parents met her once....to get aquainted..the rest of the contact was with her parents to get to know them and agree on the wedding contract content. I know in a more traditional Muslim home, they discourage the "dating" of a couple and sometimes a couple will do a marriage contract ahead of the "wedding party" so they CAN spend more time together to make it ok in the publics eye. So I can see how my STAYING there would raise a few eyebrows. I know of others who stayed at their SO's home while visiting but I also know families that would never allow this due to the beliefs. So Im hoping that this doesn't cause us any issues.

Thanks

No matter how traditional they are, there is nothing that should stop you from visiting the women of the family with or without your fiance. I know my father in law visited a little with me, but it was not his custom to stay in the room for too long since we had not gotten married yet.

[doodlebug 3]

Well his family thinks that if you have pictures up then the angels will not come into your house, BUT,....I"m gonna talk to him tonight and tell him to build a freakin' shrine of the two of us and to keep it up there until the inspection!!!!!

[amrssnowangel 0]

Well his family thinks that if you have pictures up then the angels will not come into your house, BUT,....I"m gonna talk to him tonight and tell him to build a freakin' shrine of the two of us and to keep it up there until the inspection!!!!!

I just asked my SO about pictures in his home. His mother hangs pictures up of her kids...so..im hoping she will set mine around somewhere. When I go in Aug..we will get our "engagement" photo done and give her a framed one. I think I will put together a photo book of my baby pics and of my SO and I together at different times. I like that idea of having a photo album around.

Doodlbug, good luck with the interview...

[Cheryl & Medo 3]

I'm praying for you Becky and Sam. Hope you get your visa soon. Wondering if they will viset my hubbys home. Should be soon though, cus our interview was 2 days after yours. Wishing you two the best of luck

[doodlebug 3]

I'm praying for you Becky and Sam. Hope you get your visa soon. Wondering if they will viset my hubbys home. Should be soon though, cus our interview was 2 days after yours. Wishing you two the best of luck

That is such a pretty pic in your avatar!!!