For Brits - Living in the U.S. Can't Compete With the U.K. - Be "Warned"

[Cilllah 476]

17 hours ago, Duke & Marie said:

Yay another Aussie... 🙌🙌🙌🙌 Oh sweetie, I feel for you and totally understand... I got here in March right before lockdowns I guess my advantage is I visits hubby a bunch of times and knew what I was getting myself in for before getting stuck here cause of covid.

 

food... find you a good farmers market and Asian grocery store That should cover 50% of the food Aussies like.. I find SAMs the best place to find lamb, SNAGS, steak, ribs, seafood etc (fortunately I have the privilege of hubbies mates who supply all our crabs, prawns and my new found fav crawfish) but SAMs is still good.. then pop into Walmart for the rest.. don’t forget they call things weird names here for some reason lol google will give you the Aussie alternative.. 

 

lucky for your kid, you’re now in kid junk food heaven the stores are loaded with all the fast food options that aren’t normally available to us and it’s super cheap... just keep an eye on the sugar and fat levels everything here is super sweet or will put 5kg on you in the blink of an eye 😂

 

Driver licence check with your local Dept of Trans sometimes an affidavit from you or a letter from SS office saying you haven’t yet got ya SSN is enough to get your learners... 

 

Politics... don’t Be confused by Aussie liberal.. it’s kind of reversed here from what I see.. Aussie Labour Party are very similar to Democrat (Unions/Greenies etc) and Aussie Liberal is closer to Republican (Debt reduction, jobs, law and order) If that helps any.. and just an FYI Red States seem to be the sane ones in my opinion... 
 

ever lonely feel free to PM me.. 

It is nice to see other Aussies around! Seem to be a lot less of us - which I guess makes sense! I visited before and I am fine being stuck here. I love the place! I guess I just mean it's been hard to not go out and do anything - especially to keep my daughters mind off things. This morning she has already asked to go home. It happens once a week or so which isn't too bad but I just wish we could REALLY settle in. A SSN and no pandemic would have been ideal!

 

I went to an Asian grocery store and I didn't love it but there's others to try. World Market had some stuff. Nothing exciting for cooking but it was still exciting to see some familiar Australian snacks - Japanese too! Does SAMs have snags as in real sausages? The closest thing I have found are breakfast sausages and they aren't the same. My daughter is super picky and mainly ate sausages and cheerios and both don't exist here. Which has made things difficult! I have had to Google so many things as they have different names!

 

My kid is pretty picky. I mean she doesn't like healthy but she also only likes specific things aka nuggets only from Maccas. So her junk eating hasn't increased luckily. I feel like I have already put on weight but I went for a run on the trails yesterday and it was so nice. I want to get into the routine. It was also the first time I have had any time to myself since I got here as I have my daughter 24/7 and when she is asleep I am spending time with my husband. Which I love of course but.. Being able to just be by myself and listen to music was a good way to recharge!

 

I called the local department of transport twice and yeah they both told me that I need a SSN and they said I definitely 100% need my SSN no matter what. Which is annoying as technically in 20 or so days I won't be able to drive on my Australian license. Well, I have only driven here once but I need to do more as I need to get more confident for when I do get my car and license. Hopefully I get my EAD/AP combo card soon and the upcoming I-944 RFE won't delay it TOO much.

 

I am not confused! I know the difference trust me! I am left wing and this state is very right wing. I ignore it for the most part as it doesn't impact my day to day life!

 

Thanks!

 

1 hour ago, VadnVince said:

I wish the best for you in strength with being a newlywed in a new country during this crisis!  Truthfully, you live in a place where most Americans (Red OR Blue) wouldn't care to live in!   My wife a friend who was from the UK and immigrated to Georgia.  A few years ago, her AFRICAN husband took a contracted job in the Dakotas during the boom.  I was born in the Great Lakes region and grew up in Mich, Wisc, & Illinois where there is cold and snow.  Still,  I wouldn't touch the Dakotas, even for a job!  LOL 

 

I'm sure you can order some Aussie cuisine through the internet.  It's just gonna cost ya'!  In most major cities there is a Word/Farmers market where you can get some of your home favorites.  

Thanks! My relationship is going well. My issues literally stem from SSO being closed and not being able to get my license or anything to really get my foot in the door. The pandemic sucks! Plus I don't want to send my daughter to daycare here whilst there's a pandemic because I don't want to risk her getting sick so it's just her and I 24/7. I think that is definitely personal opinion. I genuinely love South Dakota! I was here plenty of times before and it's so beautiful. I love the houses and how cheap they are, cost of living is great, everyone is so friendly, it feels like a big city in a small town. I also love my in-laws and I couldn't imagine moving away from them - even for a job. So many opportunities elsewhere but I love it here! However, I haven't gone through a winter yet and that might make me a bit sad when it's cold.

 

Yeah we have a World Market and I have been. It was nice. Definitely can online but as I said it is very expensie!

[Sarah_k92 112]

4 hours ago, VadnVince said:

I don't have a pension or liquid cash to qualify for a UK family visa, still.  I'm actually starting a new career in insurance sales, here in the states where I'll be able to do telesales no matter where I'm located, as long as there is an internet connection.  So, I'll just return on a visitor's six month visa,  whenever I go back there.  MAYBE I'll apply for a family visa, down the line, just for the ability to qualify for NHC and eventual citizenship.  Where my wife lives (Walsall) is quaint, but boring.  I was able to visit Southampton, Bath & Bristol on my last visit and enjoyed my visits.  A previous visit to London reminded me too much of NYC!  LOL

Walsall in Birmingham? 

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

@Cilllah I found pork snags that we’re very close there.. but snag mince is aplenty in pork, beef and chicken.. so I’ve been making skinless from scratch adding herbs etc my chook ones are now better than Leonard’s.. plus the mince has added benefits... easy sausage rolls with a few hidden veg for the kids 

[Cilllah 476]

1 hour ago, Duke & Marie said:

@Cilllah I found pork snags that we’re very close there.. but snag mince is aplenty in pork, beef and chicken.. so I’ve been making skinless from scratch adding herbs etc my chook ones are now better than Leonard’s.. plus the mince has added benefits... easy sausage rolls with a few hidden veg for the kids 

That sounds good for me and I’ll try it. Does the mince taste the same when cooked? I just want a Woolies sausage lol. My daughter won’t touch it as they don’t look the same. It’s frustrating. She’s picky and my husband has ARFID! We will get there though!

[TBoneTX 45,266]

12 hours ago, Orangesapples said:

if you've had 3 marriages that all had the same outcome, the only common variable in all of them is you.

Another almost completely overlooked variable is that he chose suboptimal partners.

A third variable is that he or they changed as the relationships evolved.

I observe that, in life, we get more advice on how to buy a washing machine than we do on picking a mate.

[Orangesapples 1,954]

7 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Another almost completely overlooked variable is that he chose suboptimal partners.

A third variable is that he or they changed as the relationships evolved.

I observe that, in life, we get more advice on how to buy a washing machine than we do on picking a mate.

Or maybe, I don't know, his partners chose a suboptimal partner. 

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

15 hours ago, Cilllah said:

That sounds good for me and I’ll try it. Does the mince taste the same when cooked? I just want a Woolies sausage lol. My daughter won’t touch it as they don’t look the same. It’s frustrating. She’s picky and my husband has ARFID! We will get there though!

Flavour much depends on the herbs you add... but to get the basic woolies bbq snags id use beef snag mince with basic salt/pepper and maybe a small amount of onion/garlic powder... Lol woolies snags are not real gourmet like so keep recreation simple... 

[VadnVince 24]

21 hours ago, Sarah_k92 said:

Walsall in Birmingham? 

Yes, Walsall 10 miles north of Birmingham.

[Cilllah 476]

42 minutes ago, Duke & Marie said:

Flavour much depends on the herbs you add... but to get the basic woolies bbq snags id use beef snag mince with basic salt/pepper and maybe a small amount of onion/garlic powder... Lol woolies snags are not real gourmet like so keep recreation simple... 

Haha, yeah. I am not after gourmet. I am after something my three year old will eat! Thanks!

[VadnVince 24]

On 9/24/2020 at 12:52 PM, Orangesapples said:

I don't mean to be rude but if you've had 3 marriages that all had the same outcome, the only common variable in all of them is you. I wish all the best for you. 

Any time someone says, "I don't mean to be rude", they usually are.  So much it's solicited a 😆 from Cilllah .  First of all, it's not funny, Cilllah .  I have read K-1 visa horror stories worst than mine and did not one a bit humorous and did not contribute my "two-cents" because I didn't now the parties enough to give an ignorant opinion.  Secondly, you can't "wish all the best" to me and mock me simultaneously,  Lastly, there are other common variables other than JUST me as there are uncommon variables that you don't know anything about and the outcomes are not all identical.  You wouldn't know about those either.  Before you submit an ignorant opinion, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.   

[VadnVince 24]

12 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Another almost completely overlooked variable is that he chose suboptimal partners.

A third variable is that he or they changed as the relationships evolved.

I observe that, in life, we get more advice on how to buy a washing machine than we do on picking a mate.

Let me help you with your "overlooked variable(s)" -  You don't know what you're talking about because you don't have all of the facts.  You don't know ME, THEM, or the circumstances enough to come to any conclusion of me making a less informed decision than "choosing a washing  machine."  If you need INFORMED help on my situation, I'll give my own summation of my own circumstances.  MANY TIMES PEOPLE HAVE THEIR OWN INDIVIDUAL MOTIVES FOR GETTING INTO A RELATIONSHIP OR EVEN GETTING MARRIED.  SOMETIMES THEIR MOTIVES ARE COMMON, SOMETIMES THEIR AS DIFFERENT AS NIGHT AND DAY.  OFTEN,  IN SPITE OF THE DIFFERENT MOTIVES, PEOPLE GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP JUST FOR THE END-GAME AND SUPPRESS THEIR TRUE MOTIVES JUST TO "WIN THE PRIZE" -  IT CAN BE THE OTHER PARTY OR JUST THE ABILITY TO SAY, "I's married now" (The Color Purple)

 

The moral of the matrimonial story is:  Some people are ready to GET married, but not ready to BE married. -  At worst, either spouse may have on their minds that once they GET married, they'll be able to change their partner into who they ideally would like to BE married to.  

 

Unfortunately, I've experienced this 3x and usually the reality has come out during the first year, when there's not been enough time to "evolve."  The result has been divorcing someone because they kept flirting with our friends' husbands.  Being divorced from because I was not making good at "Keeping Up With the Joneses", and finally  letting someone stay in their home country because they're finding it difficult to realize "they're not in Kansas anymore."  

 

You show me a survey questionnaire that would have revealed these "variables" before getting married and I'll shut the hell up "having a moan."  Otherwise, YOU...

 

[Sarah_k92 112]

1 hour ago, VadnVince said:

Yes, Walsall 10 miles north of Birmingham.

Yeah... I’m from Great Barr. The town next to it! That’s great that she’s a brummy. 👍🏽

[VadnVince 24]

Here's an epilogue for my original post:  Admittedly this, as the Brits say, was a "moan' about my K-1 visa journey where I've seen worst posted before.  We ALL have taken this journey looking for "true love" from another land because we haven't had good success finding it here at home or whatever the reason.  There is something uniquely romantic about finding a long distance love and becoming a married couple in the other's home country.  This not only wow'd me, but my close friends, family, and acquaintances.  Some folks thought I was crazy/mad!  But there is a common factor (not variable) that exists in new relationships whether you meet from across the oceans or from across town. 

 

EVERYONE puts on their best during the "courting phase."  You put on your best, act your best and say your best and suppress the "not so best."  The "real you" gets tucked away until a pledge is made and co-habitation takes takes place.  THEN the guards are relaxed and revelation takes place.  Sometimes it is gradual and sometimes it's fast.  Sometimes it's smooth and negotiable but sometimes it's rough and "Oh, hell naw!"  Most posters on VJ are still in the courtship phase and some in the newlywed.  I was in both and now have been in the co-habitation phase for almost a decade.  Being in the first two phases is FUN.  The latter one is simply LIFE and can be challenging.  To the ones in the latter, I feel your pain and am adding my story to hopefully encourage one another.  To those still in the first two phases I'm only sharing for a "heads up" that reality IS coming because it S Life.  I'm not asking for your mindless opinions, judgements, or mockery.  You can't speak on anything that you don't know about, especially when your nose is still "wide open."  We've ALL been there, but you're not HERE, yet.

 

I've read some "here" horror stories that are worst than mine where a spouses suppresses everything until that third year arrives, when they get their citizenship and they are "ghost!"  I read, say a prayer of the  strength needed to recover for them and hope, "But for the grace of God go I" for myself and pray that I'm no where near that kind of situation.  I definitely don't "Monday Morning Quarterback" someone else's life I know nothing about or have the gall to state "Maybe it's YOU 'cause it sounds like you should have seen that coming!"  Or as I've been "told" on this thread, because this is my 3rd marriage, "The common variable is YOU."  First of all, "Einsteins", the correct term is "factor."  Secondly, you can't speak on anything with knowing all of the facts.  Lastly, "I don't recall asking you a Got-Damn thing!" (Jules from Pulp Fiction)

 

My VJ is not done, I'm just pissed to have invested so much and not having it anymore because someone still was not "sassified."  I'm rebuilding and restoring for myself, first and reconciliation somewhere down the road.  If they're still not able to come here and be "comfortable" with America, they are good to stay right where they is!  This will just have to be a long distance marriage.  I ain't getting another divorce and sure as hell don't want to remarry again.  

 

 

 

[VadnVince 24]

4 minutes ago, Sarah_k92 said:

Yeah... I’m from Great Barr. The town next to it! That’s great that she’s a brummy. 👍🏽

I guess you WOULD say that, being a "Brummy" and all!  LOL   I watched a YouTube video where Brummies are looked down on and have a negative stigma.  But that don't "Stop the Pride!" 😁   I've only visited B'ham a few times.  Most of it is to pass through to the airport or the coach station!  I talk a minimally as possible because my American accent puts West Midland folk in stuper! LOL  I think it's also shocking that I don't speak "Ebonics" as expected.  One, I'm too old to talk today's slang and two, my education cost too much to waste it 😉

[Ontarkie 14,218]

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