German with a complicated marriage

[Motherofchaos 0]

Hello!

I've asked this question in a German fb group already and got told to ask my question here.

 

My Husband was a service active duty member for 10 years, got medical seperated like 2 Months ago.

We are together for 3 years and married for 1.

he has struggled with alcohol and mental issues the past 2 years. we went to Familie advocacy, had marriage counseling, I had to call the German  and base police 3 times. he got no contact orders and now a provisional order though the german court.

he started to take pills and acted normal for the last couple months so I "kinda "paused the provisional order.

In this time he filed the I-130 for me and my 2 older Children because he was normal, seperated and I was then ready to move with him. he filed like 2 months ago and I've got a email that the Embassy in Frankfurt Grermay has started the process. my husband started to take his pills only infrequently, which we all have felt.

I had to go back to the police and now hes not allowed to come back home again.

I dont want to cancle the application. he doesnt want to eather. maybe one day he will go on a treatment.

But I don't know how to handle the GC situation now. Some people tell me to file for Vawa, some say I should not change anything. what would be the best solution?

we have one child together

we have a house 

finances together

i also have proofs for black mail, emotional abuse with screenshots, security forces documents, german police and the provisional order.

What should I do? get a lawyer? 

Edited September 19, 2020 by Motherofchaos

[Cathi 5,760]

You can't file for VAWA unless you are inside the US.

 

I suggest you do lots of research on the subject.

[Motherofchaos 0]

someone showed me this tho and followed to the article it applies in my case.

I do alot of research.

[HRQX 4,145]

36 minutes ago, Cathi said:

You can't file for VAWA unless you are inside the US.

I-360 self-petition can be filed from abroad for IB1 visa (Self-petition Spouse of U.S. Citizen) in certain cases: https://www.uscis.gov/humanitarian/battered-spouse-children-and-parents

If you are living abroad at the time of filing the self-petition, you may file Form I-360 if:

• the abuser is an employee of the U.S. government,
• the abuser is a member of the uniformed services, or
• you were subjected to battery or extreme cruelty in the United States.

[HRQX 4,145]

1 hour ago, Motherofchaos said:

and followed to the article it applies in my case.

Consult a knowledgeable lawyer. The law says "is a member of the uniformed services" as in present tense: https://uscode.house.gov/view.xhtml?req=granuleid:USC-prelim-title8-section1154&num=0&edition=prelim You mentioned he has already been discharged from military about 2 months ago.

 

Continuing with regular IR-1 process might be the way to go.

Edited September 19, 2020 by HRQX

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

I’m a bit confused on your question... you are still married, correct? And you want to proceed with your marriage and immigrating to the US, correct? Then do nothing and wait for your petition/visa to be approved.

 

However Based on the last part of the post it sounds as if you don’t plan on staying with him due to the abuse (I don’t blame you.. I wouldn’t put my child in that situation) yet you want to immigrate to America. I don’t see how you can qualify for VAWA being out of the US and not meeting the requirements... you can just drop the petition and stay where you are... that’s what most people do if they are unhappy in the relationship and it seems as if you are planning to divorce based on your “evidence” you have.. It seems you are intent on immigrating to the US. Maybe consulting with a lawyer would be your best option if you feel you want to go the VAWA route..

[JFH 12,190]

What does the father of your children think about you taking the children out of the country permanently to live with a substance abuser?

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

Sounds like your placing immigration before being abused, before the welfare of your children and before being married... be very cautious moving forward with an IR1 visa application 
 

i-130 petitions and subsequent visa is for family reunification not convenient immigration..

Edited September 19, 2020 by Duke & Marie

[Motherofchaos 0]

ah yes, I couldnt wait for all those judgemental comment that aren't helpfull.

 

what the father says, or all the informations about my kids wont be a topic in this discussion at all and those people who already did, better stop.

[Lemonslice 4,860]

Single parent life is much better in Germany than in the USA.  You did not say where you are planning to move, or how much you are expecting to make, but please think hard about your choice (education, cost of child care, etc.).  You are in a difficult situation, and I wish you all the best.  

[Motherofchaos 0]

10 hours ago, HRQX said:

I-360 self-petition can be filed from abroad for IB1 visa (Self-petition Spouse of U.S. Citizen) in certain cases: https://www.uscis.gov/humanitarian/battered-spouse-children-and-parents

If you are living abroad at the time of filing the self-petition, you may file Form I-360 if:

• the abuser is an employee of the U.S. government,
• the abuser is a member of the uniformed services, or
• you were subjected to battery or extreme cruelty in the United States.

on my husband's orders is the year 2021(idk the month) and in order to make sure he emailed the embassy in Frakfurt if he should send the form to them or to a american, and they said to them. regarding to that, does the "uniformed service member" still count?

 

[Motherofchaos 0]

3 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

Single parent life is much better in Germany than in the USA.  You did not say where you are planning to move, or how much you are expecting to make, but please think hard about your choice (education, cost of child care, etc.).  You are in a difficult situation, and I wish you all the best.  

You're right. I'm aware about all those things.

 

we would move to michigan and would have support from my husbands family. also my son has a half sister there.

 

we have noone in germany.

My practical attention is the family.

 

thank you for your comment.

[Motherofchaos 0]

11 hours ago, HRQX said:

Consult a knowledgeable lawyer. The law says "is a member of the uniformed services" as in present tense: https://uscode.house.gov/view.xhtml?req=granuleid:USC-prelim-title8-section1154&num=0&edition=prelim You mentioned he has already been discharged from military about 2 months ago.

 

Continuing with regular IR-1 process might be the way to go.

do you know a lawyer you can recommend?

[Motherofchaos 0]

11 hours ago, HRQX said:

Consult a knowledgeable lawyer. The law says "is a member of the uniformed services" as in present tense: https://uscode.house.gov/view.xhtml?req=granuleid:USC-prelim-title8-section1154&num=0&edition=prelim You mentioned he has already been discharged from military about 2 months ago.

 

Continuing with regular IR-1 process might be the way to go.

do you know a lawyer you can recommend?

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

17 minutes ago, Motherofchaos said:

ah yes, I couldnt wait for all those judgemental comment that aren't helpfull.

 

what the father says, or all the informations about my kids wont be a topic in this discussion at all and those people who already did, better stop.

Your initial post reference abuse, older children, blackmail, police and evidence by way of orders etc

 

If you think the risk of ongoing abuse to yourself or these children and the rights of their father (his consent to leave the country and place them at risk) will not be considered as part of the GC application by the consular officer your sadly mistaken. They will question that and the legitimacy of the relationship you have with your husband at various stages throughout the process.. 
 

So questions raised are very valid points... additionally, I’m not sure you are permitted under VJ TOS to tell people what they can or cannot say or that they had better stop.