Offical MENA Cultural Differences Thread

[deemabrouk 0]

I have the adhan downloaded on my computer.. BUT i think I will have to buy a regular alarm for him.. I'm used to printing out a sheet from the computer and then constantly checking the time when I am NOT near the computer... Its MUCH DIFFERENT when I comes blasting through your windows!!!!

[doodlebug 3]

There are athan alarm clocks that do the call to prayer at prayer times. It's not the same thing but it's as close as you may get in your area. Personally I can't stand those clocks cuz the athan will call out of no where and scare the pants off of you.

I had it downloaded from islamicfinder on my kids computer and the speakers were on pretty loud. I forgot I had downloaded it and they nearly jumped off their seats one day when they were playing some spongebob game and it suddenly blared from the speakers!!!!! OMG I had to take it off of their computer 'cause it really scared them since they had no clue what it was.

[Henia 11]

I just thought of something.........1 hour US time = 3 hours MENA time.

THAT took some getting used to!!!! I"m kind of worried that he won't adapt when he's here since people tend to frown on showing up for work late!!!

Esalaam/Hello/Salut

I am sure glad I found this thread again. I was off for while and was not able to read and post. Unforunately it is not pinned... I am still wishing it would be.

But I am proud of everyone that so far (and plz donnot mess that up anyone. Much appreciate) that is has been decent!!! MABROUKS everyone! Chukran bezaaf! (or for your Masris awe aweee LOL ...just kidding)

Everything posted so far, I just wanted to comment on saying YES I TOTALLY AGREE, but after reading them decided to just write at the end I agree with all them, to save space.

I know many MENAs have some issues with dogs, due to the Hadiths on dogs in the home... but in my experience many that come over here to the US, after a time have adjusted, started loving them and many actually have dogs now.

Doodle: Yes MENA time, when you are dealing with actual ppl you know, like for example a rendez-vouz then I would give 3hours, but if you are dealing with adminastration I would say days if not weeks.

Jamie_Mona: I have noticed all over the MENA they like to delay their knick-knacks (remember grandma?!LOL) but esp in the Maghreb they seem to love to not only display knick knacks but their dishes, spices, anything flashy, sparkly... I know my husband's family have vast amounts of mismatched dishes, vases, pots,tajines, decorative anything that they display in their china cabinets ( bibliotechs) A mirage of colours blinding to the eye LOL. But never I have yet, see in any home (other then the Qurán) seen any books on shelfs displayed. LOLOL Something I find amusing.

Also wanted to add, the is (for the most part) a great sexual ignorance in MENA. Most MENAs unless married before have little to no sexuality (and in this category I include basic love,flirting, tenderness....funny cos most of their songs are about thiswhat so ever. The men (and some women too) do get online look at porn, chat, etc. But are really blind..ignorant to basic sexuality. I know in my own husband's family the women asked me questions of how to do this or that... as far as I could tell, their knowledge of pleasing their mate did not go past cooking, making sons and wearing gaudy make-up and clohtes. They just look at me like i was insane, for wanting to spent as much time as I did with my husband, esp when he wa s in the hospital.

So anyway... more when it comes to me...

[doodlebug 3]

Also wanted to add, the is (for the most part) a great sexual ignorance in MENA. Most MENAs unless married before have little to no sexuality (and in this category I include basic love,flirting, tenderness....funny cos most of their songs are about thiswhat so ever. The men (and some women too) do get online look at porn, chat, etc. But are really blind..ignorant to basic sexuality.

[Henia 11]

Also wanted to add, the is (for the most part) a great sexual ignorance in MENA. Most MENAs unless married before have little to no sexuality (and in this category I include basic love,flirting, tenderness....funny cos most of their songs are about thiswhat so ever. The men (and some women too) do get online look at porn, chat, etc. But are really blind..ignorant to basic sexuality.

But you have to admit it is true. (And I am not talking about anything obsence, coarse and disgusting) I mean since Islam, the main religion for most MENA ppl allowed for human sexuality, unlike other religions. I mean there is a lack of sexual education and sexual psychology.

Edited July 4, 2007 by Henia

[doodlebug 3]

Also wanted to add, the is (for the most part) a great sexual ignorance in MENA. Most MENAs unless married before have little to no sexuality (and in this category I include basic love,flirting, tenderness....funny cos most of their songs are about thiswhat so ever. The men (and some women too) do get online look at porn, chat, etc. But are really blind..ignorant to basic sexuality.

But you have to admit it is true. (And I am not talking about anything obsence, coarse and disgusting) I mean since Islam, the main religion for most MENA ppl allowed for human sexuality, unlike other religions. I mean there is a lack of sexual education and sexual psychology.

I am not disagreeing but I just don't think you're gonna get a lot of people to talk about the subject since it's kind of personal.

[Henia 11]

Also wanted to add, the is (for the most part) a great sexual ignorance in MENA. Most MENAs unless married before have little to no sexuality (and in this category I include basic love,flirting, tenderness....funny cos most of their songs are about thiswhat so ever. The men (and some women too) do get online look at porn, chat, etc. But are really blind..ignorant to basic sexuality.

But you have to admit it is true. (And I am not talking about anything obsence, coarse and disgusting) I mean since Islam, the main religion for most MENA ppl allowed for human sexuality, unlike other religions. I mean there is a lack of sexual education and sexual psychology.

I am not disagreeing but I just don't think you're gonna get a lot of people to talk about the subject since it's kind of personal.

It was not my intention to start any conversation on that topic. I merely, added one more cultural difference to the already growing list.

This might be slightly off topic, but has anyone come across forms of racism against MENA members that immigrated out of MENA. For example, the Algerians that for whatever reason immigrated out of Algeria to France are refered to as beur boys. And are often called by offensive names, such as 'l’émigré', but the beur girls are referred to as amjah (lost) and merula (a woman of loose morals). During my travels some beurs told me about these problems stating "in Algeria I’m seen as an immigrant, a foreigner." We may suppose that a lot of the resentment experienced by visiting beurs is probably fuelled by jealousy, as very many Algerians cannot leave the country and face long-term unemployment at home.

And also has (of course you all have) noticed the high concept of honour in MENA nations? In Algerie honour is a foundation block of Algerian society. Honour is delicately intertwined with a family’s good name their reputation. If someone is honourable, the family is honourable and if an individual is shamed the family is shamed. As a result the behaviour of individual family members is viewed as the direct responsibility of the family. Honour can be lost in many ways, for example Algerians believe that turning down a friend’s request for a favour causes the other person to lose honour. Therefore, they will agree to do something rather than risk either party losing face. Things I noticed people were very careful to watch out for are criticizing others, insulting them, any comments that may be considered harassements to family members, esp females or putting them in a position that will be uncomfortable. By dishonouring someone you also spoil the relationship and respect as citizens. Also preserving honour/reputation is important. Algerians will try to preserve their reputations telling people what they think they want to hear even if it is not the truth.

Also another point I would like to add is the gift giving. Something, in my own culture I am very used. But rarely see in the US. Gift giving is a part of Algerian culture that is used to cement relationships. The gesture of giving is more important than the gift. I know when we would even visit our neighbour I would bring pastries, some food that I had cooked that day, fruit, or flowers for not so close people. In fact, giving and sharing food in Algeria is similar to an artform. When you cook something, you are proud of you go pass a plate of it to your relatives, neighbours and friends to impress them. Dishes then in turn, are never returned empty. At our table, we would always have 2-3 extra "gift" dishes. Even more during holidays.

Children will always appreciate sweets I baked! Gifts are not usually opened when received in front of the giver. I know I discovered this fact, after literally trying to push my relatives (the children) to open the gifts I bought them. I instantly figured out I did a cultural faux-pas. And another FYI give gifts with the right or both hands. And look them in the eye smiling. If you do not look them in the eye, for sure they will think the gift is not genuine and say words to ward off the evil-eye LOL!

Also I think in MENA generally there is an open-door policy for doing business and within families, that is not in the US. Algerians sure have this an open-door policy, even during meetings. Meaning I experienced frequent interruptions in all my dealing with the dairas. People wander into the room and start a different discussion. Which also the case, in the standing in lines. There is no line. Just a mass cluster of people, pushing and shoving their way to the front only to yell at the person behind the counter to help them. Try that in the US!

Also and lastly the issue of personal space and nosiness comes to mind. Algerians do not leave a great deal of personal space between each other. If someone stands close to you or holds your arm, do not back away. Even in the bus, there are not shy to just stand so close to you, they are basically rubbing up against you. I found this out when communicating with Algerians, i.e. not causing them to lose face especially in public. Like in the beginning I would back up quite a bit.

Edited July 5, 2007 by Henia

[allousa 1]

My husband has said that he and his family have experienced prejudice against them since they are Palestinian. The Moroccan government has been especially hard on them. They have lived there since '68 and do not have residency. Even though my husband and two of his brothers were born there!

I chuckled about the "evil eye". My husband sent me home from one of my visits with the silver plate and hand...hamza al enake. He talks about that alot.

My husband spent several years here in the states going to school and he commented then and just recently about the "nosiness" of Moroccans. Sounds like it's not just a Moroccan thing, but a MENA thing.

[Henia 11]

My husband has said that he and his family have experienced prejudice against them since they are Palestinian. The Moroccan government has been especially hard on them. They have lived there since '68 and do not have residency. Even though my husband and two of his brothers were born there!

I chuckled about the "evil eye". My husband sent me home from one of my visits with the silver plate and hand...hamza al enake. He talks about that alot.

My husband spent several years here in the states going to school and he commented then and just recently about the "nosiness" of Moroccans. Sounds like it's not just a Moroccan thing, but a MENA thing.

It is very unforunate for your family. I am truly sorry. The plead of the Pali ppl is never-ending and as we can all see not even helped by their fellow Muslims. Shame on the Marocain goverment.

Nosiness is just generally a MENA thing. But in the Maghreb, in my experience Tunezians are the most nosiest. And Libyans by standard the quietest. I have several times, been out and about in the city, at parties and gathering where I am literally at yelled at - not talked to. And however this may sound, generally in the Maghreb I have noticed the menage Arabs are the loud people. Not so much the Kabyles. And women more so then the men. And the older the louder they get for some reason. And it is always cos they are hard of hearing or senile.

[allousa 1]

They are loud. I remember my husband telling me when we first met that when you see two Arabs waving their arms and talking real loud, more than likely they aren't having an argument....just talking!

[amrssnowangel 0]

They are loud. I remember my husband telling me when we first met that when you see two Arabs waving their arms and talking real loud, more than likely they aren't having an argument....just talking!

I had to chuckle at this one. My fiances mother is loud. When we talk on the cell or skype I always ask what is she upset about. He says she's not upset she's talking on the phone!!! I can hardly believe it. She SOUNDS angry...but he declares she's not.

I can relate to the loud family. Every Friday when his sisters come home to visit, its so loud there. He is a quiet man and loves kids, but there are times he would rather stay in a closet then deal with the noise. So I think our home will be a bit quieter, alhamdolellah.

I think the biggest thing he will face here is the way women dress, and act. For three years he could hardly look ME in the eye!!! At first I found it sweet, by the third year I finally asked him to start looking in my eyes when we talked. But JUST MINE!!! LOL. We talked about how women here dress and he is amazed. I dont' think he believes me. I tried to tell him that in SOME cases a woman at work may even flirt with him since he is so tall and attractive. He laughs and says, no they won't do that. Women don't do that there do they??? He was warned.

He will miss the noise of the streets of Cairo. Our home is NOT in the city and its soo quiet here. I think he will just miss the all around noise and the ease of just getting around will be harder to. He can't imagine NOT walking to the store!!! (Its way to far here to walk..by AMERICAN standards at least) He can't imagine not being able to walk out his front door and finding public transportation.

The work week is another adjustment I think. If Im correct in Egypt, they work 5-6 hour days, and 6 days a week. I know they just had their flat painted and it took the painter 2 weeks to paint THREE rooms. This drove me nuts as he wasn't able to meet at our regular times and I never dreamt it would take THAT long to paint THREE SMALL rooms!!! Anyways, come to find out sometimes the man would leave for hours in the middle of the day. But even THEN!! I finally had an image of this painter painting with a toothbruth NOT a paint brush or roller!!! HAHAHAHAHA

[deemabrouk 0]

My husband has said that he and his family have experienced prejudice against them since they are Palestinian. The Moroccan government has been especially hard on them. They have lived there since '68 and do not have residency. Even though my husband and two of his brothers were born there!

I chuckled about the "evil eye". My husband sent me home from one of my visits with the silver plate and hand...hamza al enake. He talks about that alot.

My husband spent several years here in the states going to school and he commented then and just recently about the "nosiness" of Moroccans. Sounds like it's not just a Moroccan thing, but a MENA thing.

It is very unforunate for your family. I am truly sorry. The plead of the Pali ppl is never-ending and as we can all see not even helped by their fellow Muslims. Shame on the Marocain goverment.

Nosiness is just generally a MENA thing. But in the Maghreb, in my experience Tunezians are the most nosiest. And Libyans by standard the quietest. I have several times, been out and about in the city, at parties and gathering where I am literally at yelled at - not talked to. And however this may sound, generally in the Maghreb I have noticed the menage Arabs are the loud people. Not so much the Kabyles. And women more so then the men. And the older the louder they get for some reason. And it is always cos they are hard of hearing or senile.

well that is actually quite common... I had a friend that is palestinian.. His parents were forced out of Palestine.. lived in the camps on Lebanon.. He was Born in Lebanon.. BUT they will not "acknowledge" him as Lebanese.. and he isnt "acknowledged" by palestine.. It is very hard from him.. He feels very lost. He doesnt have papers from either countries.

[ya falaha! 0]

Does your husband not watch TV? Even in Egypt you can see scantily clad women on TV (usually on the Lebanese channels or American movies and TV shows via satellite). My husband was not a bit shocked about how some women dress here. This not looking women in the eye thing is puzzling to me.

I think the biggest thing he will face here is the way women dress, and act. For three years he could hardly look ME in the eye!!! At first I found it sweet, by the third year I finally asked him to start looking in my eyes when we talked. But JUST MINE!!! LOL. We talked about how women here dress and he is amazed. I dont' think he believes me. I tried to tell him that in SOME cases a woman at work may even flirt with him since he is so tall and attractive. He laughs and says, no they won't do that. Women don't do that there do they??? He was warned.

[doodlebug 3]

Does your husband not watch TV? Even in Egypt you can see scantily clad women on TV (usually on the Lebanese channels or American movies and TV shows via satellite). My husband was not a bit shocked about how some women dress here. This not looking women in the eye thing is puzzling to me.

I think the biggest thing he will face here is the way women dress, and act. For three years he could hardly look ME in the eye!!! At first I found it sweet, by the third year I finally asked him to start looking in my eyes when we talked. But JUST MINE!!! LOL. We talked about how women here dress and he is amazed. I dont' think he believes me. I tried to tell him that in SOME cases a woman at work may even flirt with him since he is so tall and attractive. He laughs and says, no they won't do that. Women don't do that there do they??? He was warned.

My husband does the not looking women in the eye thing too. Maybe it depends on where you grew up? I dunno. It's only the non-mahrem (sp?) women that he does it with but I told him he is going to have to change that.

As for not seeing women he told me *I* will be shocked when I see how the women are dressed on the beaches there so I don't know how he could miss that unless he totally stays inside all day long.

[doodlebug 3]

I forgot to add...I went to a lecture once where the women were on one side and the men were on the other and when one of the men went up to lecture I thought it odd that when a woman asked a question he looked at the men. He NEVER looked at us even once. I mentioned that I thought he was being rude to a few and they said it's how he is and that his deen is at such a level that he does not look at women that are non-mahrem.

I wouldn't say that about my husband's deen so I dunno what that's all about either, i.e. where it stems from.