Offical MENA Cultural Differences Thread

[doodlebug 3]

I just thought of something.........1 hour US time = 3 hours MENA time.

THAT took some getting used to!!!! I"m kind of worried that he won't adapt when he's here since people tend to frown on showing up for work late!!!

[ya falaha! 0]

Don't worry, Doodle, they adapt. I've had two MENA husbands and they both realize that being on time is important here. My ex is late for everything that isn't "important" but things like work and appts. he's on time.

[allousa 1]

When coming to the US, the one difference that almost every Moroccan will comment on is the lack of real connectedness among American families. In Morocco the family is everything, especially the parents. Understanding, or even better, sharing this value will go a long way in making the relationship work.

Yeah, you are right! I had forgotten about that. While Hicham and I were dating, I would go to visit my grandfather in the nursing home and sometimes take him places and Hicham couldn't understand why he was in there in the first place. He was upset about it.

[allousa 1]

I would definitely agree that mealtimes are different. My family has always been about eating quietly and using your manners. With Hicham's family (he's got 4 brothers and a sister), it's loud and you've got to act fast to get food off the "big" plate. But my husband's father has always been good to get me a small plate that he will put food on for me. But I really enjoy being in the midst of all that and they are really a close family.

Another difference that I've noticed not just about my husband, but other Moroccans that I have met, is how superstitious they are. We had an owl that lived in a tree by the house and Hicham would talk about that being bad luck. Lots of different things like that. Anyone else have expierence about that?

[doodlebug 3]

Another difference that I've noticed not just about my husband, but other Moroccans that I have met, is how superstitious they are. We had an owl that lived in a tree by the house and Hicham would talk about that being bad luck. Lots of different things like that. Anyone else have expierence about that?

Yes. Usama is afraid of my cat 'cause she's black. I keep telling him not to worry since she has auburn streaks in her hair. lol. I do all I can to ease his fears, i.e. put her in front of the cam and she even purred for him too but he's still petrified.

[deemabrouk 0]

I don't know if this is cultural or just traits of my husband but here is what I've noticed:

* he will not look a woman that he does not know in the eyes. I told him that he will have to do this here if he wants to sell anything to them 'cause otherwise they will be offended.

* we had a few of his friends over one night and one of them remarked that they would love some of my starbucks coffee so he could make it himself. I gave him the whole bag of it that I had since I had no use for it (I couldn't figure out a way to make it since there was no coffee maker). Usama took me aside in the kitchen and told me to only give him a portion, and never to give anyone the whole thing. For example I'd give someone a whole pack of gum if I were there but he'd prefer me just to give them one or two pieces.

* he always said something when we stepped into the house. I could never remember what it was but he said he was saying hi to the angels when he did this.

* as soon as we'd get into a cab after he'd finish negotiating the price he'd offer the cabbie a cigarette first, and if they declined then he'd offer them lib.

well the first one and third one are Islamic.. 2nd and 4th.. they are cultural.

The first.. Honestly I think it is a Good thing.. I have MORE respect for the men that look to the ground.. My husband also will NOT shake the hand of a woman either.. Alhamdulillah.. I love him for this.. AND i would NOT want this to change while he was in America

the third.. You step into your house with the Right foot... You can say.. Asalaamu AleiNah wa rahmatullahi wa barikatu - Like when you say Asalaam Aleikum.. but instead of saying Aleikum (blessings to YOU - the other person).. you say AleiNAH (Like saying it to your self).. OR you can say.. Bismillahi wa lajna wa Bismillahi kharajna wa alaa Rabbina tawakkalna (In the name of Allah we enter, In the name of Allah we leave and we trust our Lord)

[doodlebug 3]

I don't know if this is cultural or just traits of my husband but here is what I've noticed:

* he will not look a woman that he does not know in the eyes. I told him that he will have to do this here if he wants to sell anything to them 'cause otherwise they will be offended.

* we had a few of his friends over one night and one of them remarked that they would love some of my starbucks coffee so he could make it himself. I gave him the whole bag of it that I had since I had no use for it (I couldn't figure out a way to make it since there was no coffee maker). Usama took me aside in the kitchen and told me to only give him a portion, and never to give anyone the whole thing. For example I'd give someone a whole pack of gum if I were there but he'd prefer me just to give them one or two pieces.

* he always said something when we stepped into the house. I could never remember what it was but he said he was saying hi to the angels when he did this.

* as soon as we'd get into a cab after he'd finish negotiating the price he'd offer the cabbie a cigarette first, and if they declined then he'd offer them lib.

well the first one and third one are Islamic.. 2nd and 4th.. they are cultural.

The first.. Honestly I think it is a Good thing.. I have MORE respect for the men that look to the ground.. My husband also will NOT shake the hand of a woman either.. Alhamdulillah.. I love him for this.. AND i would NOT want this to change while he was in America

the third.. You step into your house with the Right foot... You can say.. Asalaamu AleiNah wa rahmatullahi wa barikatu - Like when you say Asalaam Aleikum.. but instead of saying Aleikum (blessings to YOU - the other person).. you say AleiNAH (Like saying it to your self).. OR you can say.. Bismillahi wa lajna wa Bismillahi kharajna wa alaa Rabbina tawakkalna (In the name of Allah we enter, In the name of Allah we leave and we trust our Lord)

lol...you should have heard me everytime he said that. I would try to say it too but I'd just say it wicked fast so he wouldn't know I was messing it up. Just like when we end our phonecalls....I'm the one who always says the last part of the shahada but the few times he's asked me to say it first I just fly through it like it's one big word and then he makes me repeat it S-L-O-W and I just give up and say "you say it!!! that's your part to say!!!!"

[deemabrouk 0]

I don't know if this is cultural or just traits of my husband but here is what I've noticed:

* he will not look a woman that he does not know in the eyes. I told him that he will have to do this here if he wants to sell anything to them 'cause otherwise they will be offended.

* we had a few of his friends over one night and one of them remarked that they would love some of my starbucks coffee so he could make it himself. I gave him the whole bag of it that I had since I had no use for it (I couldn't figure out a way to make it since there was no coffee maker). Usama took me aside in the kitchen and told me to only give him a portion, and never to give anyone the whole thing. For example I'd give someone a whole pack of gum if I were there but he'd prefer me just to give them one or two pieces.

* he always said something when we stepped into the house. I could never remember what it was but he said he was saying hi to the angels when he did this.

* as soon as we'd get into a cab after he'd finish negotiating the price he'd offer the cabbie a cigarette first, and if they declined then he'd offer them lib.

well the first one and third one are Islamic.. 2nd and 4th.. they are cultural.

The first.. Honestly I think it is a Good thing.. I have MORE respect for the men that look to the ground.. My husband also will NOT shake the hand of a woman either.. Alhamdulillah.. I love him for this.. AND i would NOT want this to change while he was in America

the third.. You step into your house with the Right foot... You can say.. Asalaamu AleiNah wa rahmatullahi wa barikatu - Like when you say Asalaam Aleikum.. but instead of saying Aleikum (blessings to YOU - the other person).. you say AleiNAH (Like saying it to your self).. OR you can say.. Bismillahi wa lajna wa Bismillahi kharajna wa alaa Rabbina tawakkalna (In the name of Allah we enter, In the name of Allah we leave and we trust our Lord)

lol...you should have heard me everytime he said that. I would try to say it too but I'd just say it wicked fast so he wouldn't know I was messing it up. Just like when we end our phonecalls....I'm the one who always says the last part of the shahada but the few times he's asked me to say it first I just fly through it like it's one big word and then he makes me repeat it S-L-O-W and I just give up and say "you say it!!! that's your part to say!!!!"

well you should hear me when we have not had the best conversation and I'm Ticked off.. I yell back "MOHAMADAN RASOULLAH!!!!!!!!!!!" (astaghfirllah...) and slam the phone

and when ever he hears a Donkey going off... He's always like... "you hear that?? that is Shaytan!"

[doodlebug 3]

Just a random thought but I would think not hearing the call to prayer would effect them some once they come here. He told me the other day, "habibi when I am there we will go to the mosque as soon as we hear the call to prayer"

Ok 1) there is no call to prayer unless you're counting the one on the watch I'm thinking of getting you and 2) in order to get to a mosque it's a good 10 to 15 minute DRIVE......

I personally think he'll really miss that sound.

[ya falaha! 0]

There are athan alarm clocks that do the call to prayer at prayer times. It's not the same thing but it's as close as you may get in your area. Personally I can't stand those clocks cuz the athan will call out of no where and scare the pants off of you.

[deemabrouk 0]

Just a random thought but I would think not hearing the call to prayer would effect them some once they come here. He told me the other day, "habibi when I am there we will go to the mosque as soon as we hear the call to prayer"

Ok 1) there is no call to prayer unless you're counting the one on the watch I'm thinking of getting you and 2) in order to get to a mosque it's a good 10 to 15 minute DRIVE......

I personally think he'll really miss that sound.

Shooot... I really miss the adhans.. the sounds.. and I wasnt even born there!! HENCE why I made a Video so I can watch it over and over - and then get really depressed

How about anybody else who has their practicing Muslim Husband in a NON islamic country..?? Did it affect your SO???

[allousa 1]

I don't know if this is cultural or just traits of my husband but here is what I've noticed:

* he will not look a woman that he does not know in the eyes. I told him that he will have to do this here if he wants to sell anything to them 'cause otherwise they will be offended.

* we had a few of his friends over one night and one of them remarked that they would love some of my starbucks coffee so he could make it himself. I gave him the whole bag of it that I had since I had no use for it (I couldn't figure out a way to make it since there was no coffee maker). Usama took me aside in the kitchen and told me to only give him a portion, and never to give anyone the whole thing. For example I'd give someone a whole pack of gum if I were there but he'd prefer me just to give them one or two pieces.

* he always said something when we stepped into the house. I could never remember what it was but he said he was saying hi to the angels when he did this.

* as soon as we'd get into a cab after he'd finish negotiating the price he'd offer the cabbie a cigarette first, and if they declined then he'd offer them lib.

well the first one and third one are Islamic.. 2nd and 4th.. they are cultural.

The first.. Honestly I think it is a Good thing.. I have MORE respect for the men that look to the ground.. My husband also will NOT shake the hand of a woman either.. Alhamdulillah.. I love him for this.. AND i would NOT want this to change while he was in America

the third.. You step into your house with the Right foot... You can say.. Asalaamu AleiNah wa rahmatullahi wa barikatu - Like when you say Asalaam Aleikum.. but instead of saying Aleikum (blessings to YOU - the other person).. you say AleiNAH (Like saying it to your self).. OR you can say.. Bismillahi wa lajna wa Bismillahi kharajna wa alaa Rabbina tawakkalna (In the name of Allah we enter, In the name of Allah we leave and we trust our Lord)

lol...you should have heard me everytime he said that. I would try to say it too but I'd just say it wicked fast so he wouldn't know I was messing it up. Just like when we end our phonecalls....I'm the one who always says the last part of the shahada but the few times he's asked me to say it first I just fly through it like it's one big word and then he makes me repeat it S-L-O-W and I just give up and say "you say it!!! that's your part to say!!!!"

When Hicham and I have gotten into arguments and he gets really mad, he'll walk off talking in Arabic. I would always tell him to quit "cussing" me. Even in another language, I could tell what he was saying wasn't nice! After we got over our spat, he would laugh at me about that.

[browneyez40 0]

Another difference that I've noticed not just about my husband, but other Moroccans that I have met, is how superstitious they are. We had an owl that lived in a tree by the house and Hicham would talk about that being bad luck. Lots of different things like that. Anyone else have expierence about that?

Yes. Usama is afraid of my cat 'cause she's black. I keep telling him not to worry since she has auburn streaks in her hair. lol. I do all I can to ease his fears, i.e. put her in front of the cam and she even purred for him too but he's still petrified.

You should tell him that there is an Irish tradition of a black cat being good luck.

[allousa 1]

Just a random thought but I would think not hearing the call to prayer would effect them some once they come here. He told me the other day, "habibi when I am there we will go to the mosque as soon as we hear the call to prayer"

Ok 1) there is no call to prayer unless you're counting the one on the watch I'm thinking of getting you and 2) in order to get to a mosque it's a good 10 to 15 minute DRIVE......

I personally think he'll really miss that sound.

Shooot... I really miss the adhans.. the sounds.. and I wasnt even born there!! HENCE why I made a Video so I can watch it over and over - and then get really depressed

How about anybody else who has their practicing Muslim Husband in a NON islamic country..?? Did it affect your SO???

I know what you mean about missing the call to prayer. Hicham and I have a set time that we talk and it's during one of the calls so I can usually hear it in the background. I really miss being there and listening to the morning call and the birds chirping and singing outside. It's a very lovely sound.

[caybee 21]

Just a random thought but I would think not hearing the call to prayer would effect them some once they come here. He told me the other day, "habibi when I am there we will go to the mosque as soon as we hear the call to prayer"

Ok 1) there is no call to prayer unless you're counting the one on the watch I'm thinking of getting you and 2) in order to get to a mosque it's a good 10 to 15 minute DRIVE......

I personally think he'll really miss that sound.

Shooot... I really miss the adhans.. the sounds.. and I wasnt even born there!! HENCE why I made a Video so I can watch it over and over - and then get really depressed

How about anybody else who has their practicing Muslim Husband in a NON islamic country..?? Did it affect your SO???

I know what you mean about missing the call to prayer. Hicham and I have a set time that we talk and it's during one of the calls so I can usually hear it in the background. I really miss being there and listening to the morning call and the birds chirping and singing outside. It's a very lovely sound.

We don't live close enough to the mosque to hear it, but my sister's friend has heard it when he happened to pass by there at the right time. My fiancé has told me he doesn't think about it too much, but I loved hearing it when I was in Morocco. It is in one of our videos when we were outside on a lovely morning in January. I did download the program from islamicfinder.com that plays a recording of it on my computer automatically, but he doesn't have it on his, although he has played for me some beautiful recordings of readings from the Qu'ran.