2 weeks before filing I-751, I found out he is cheating!

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

1 hour ago, hurtandmiserable said:

honestly i just feel that i live in a nightmare and surreal bad movie.

we have been traveling together, we have been trying to start a family, we have built a new circle of friends,

we are in such a great place and out of nowhere this happened.

i recently just went through our second miscarriage and am devastated that he is doing this to me.

i know he has taken full advantage of me financially as i had brought a big savings with me for our newlywed life.

ugh sorry for venting...

i just don't know where to start now 

 

 

and BTW - i have been on this visajourney forum for 3 years, but i am embarrassed with my other profile 

as i made so many amazing friends here and i am just embarrassed to even go through this

I just want to say I am sorry you are going through this. You have no reason to be embarrassed- he is the cheater. @geowrian gave great advice/guidance. It might be hard to see now but it may have been in your best interest you didn’t have children together. File for divorce- file your ROC- it’s not like AOS- plenty of people file for ROC w a divorce waiver. Find support in your friends and family and work on you. 

[Ryan H 3,812]

***Post contributing nothing to the discussion removed; either post constructively or do not post.***

[Timona 4,207]

3 hours ago, geowrian said:

Option 1) If he's willing to file the I-751 jointly, you can do so now. Then when you get the divorce finalized, contact USCIS to switch to the divorce waiver and provide a copy of the final divorce decree.

 

Option 2) File the I-751 with the divorce waiver option now. USCIS will eventually RFE for the final divorce decree. Send it at that time.

 

To be more precise, if the divorce is not finalized then you would switch to a waiver at the interview and get an RFE for the decree.

If the divorce is finalized, contact USCIS to notify them of the switch to a divorce waiver and provide the decree.

 

What you want to avoid is getting divorced and USCIS waiving the interview. Because that can (and has) seriously come back when somebody files for naturalization later (including under the 5 year rule).

As @geowrian said.

[pablo2752 106]

If you are not confident enough to do this alone, find an immigration lawyer that is also familiar with family laws and divorce ROC. I know this website is for doing visa stuff on your own, but there is nothing wrong with hiring a lawyer if you feel very nervous about doing this yourself. 

Edited August 17, 2020 by pablo2752

[Ryan H 3,812]

***Another non-contributory post removed along with a post referring to said removed post.  If non-contributory or trolling posts continue, appropriate Administrative Action will be taken.*** 

Edited August 17, 2020 by Ryan H

[Sparkle Sparkle 914]

**********decided my post was not worth it****

Edited August 17, 2020 by Sparkle Sparkle

[hurtandmiserable 13]

10 hours ago, Luckycuds said:

I just want to say I am sorry you are going through this. You have no reason to be embarrassed- he is the cheater. @geowrian gave great advice/guidance. It might be hard to see now but it may have been in your best interest you didn’t have children together. File for divorce- file your ROC- it’s not like AOS- plenty of people file for ROC w a divorce waiver. Find support in your friends and family and work on you. 

 

thank you for your kind words! i have shared this with my 4 best friends and they are standing behind me. 

i am just overwhelmed as i am dealing with recovery of a miscarriage (2 weeks ago), finding out he has been cheating on me and still

try to get myself together to go to work and function as a human being. 

 

And i did read the messages that got deleted up here. for you guys:

he has been mentally abusive for nearly a year. I have blamed it on his depression and anxiety as he kept bringing up how he was raised, how his mother mistreated him, how he never met his father, how he hates the job. as his wife i figured to allow him to vent at me and do what he did. people around me have pointed it out so many times and i always blamed it on his stress level. 

 

i did not find out that he had an accident by going out with his friends and cheating on me once on an accident.

i am talking a 1.5 year affair with his freaking ex wife while he lied to me saying he is going to see his son, and she arranged the son to

be at his cousin's so they could do what they needed to do!

and while i literally went through my second miscarriage a few weeks ago (!!!!) he met his ex girlfriend from 15 years ago and hooked up with her.

and to top that, he has lied to me about going to work on the weekend (he has never worked weekends) and literally met this one girl that drove 8 hours to come see him for the weekend. 

 

so no, this is not fixable, repairable, this is a sick pattern that breaks my heart. i have done everything for him, i take care of him, our house, his son,

i accept his flaws and everything. if he would have wanted to be a free man to have fun, then HE should have asked for a divorce and left me

before doing me nasty! there is never a reason that somebody is allowed to cheat on someone else.

if you are not ready for a serious relationship, marriage (building a freaking house and trying to start a family) don't make me suffer by letting me go through this!

 thank you for sending hate messages when you don't have a clue about what has been going on in these 4 walls. 

Edited August 17, 2020 by hurtandmiserable

[retheem 566]

Am so sorry to hear this; please do what is best for your heart and your peace and sanity. Nobody deserves to be cheated on.

[hurtandmiserable 13]

1 hour ago, retheem said:

Am so sorry to hear this; please do what is best for your heart and your peace and sanity. Nobody deserves to be cheated on.

I appreciate your kind words.
i wish that to nobody either  

i don’t even wish him bad, I just want to get out of this and start over. 

[Leah88 192]

I’m very sorry to read your story! I can’t help you, but cannot even imagine what you must be going through. Having a miscarriage is so rough, and finding out what you found out about your partner is heart breaking! Do not let people hate on you! If you need someone to talk to, you can pm me! Prayers for you

[CMJuilland 485]

I think immigration- or ROC-wise, you got really good advice from @geowrian which I would follow. 

 

On a personal level, I just want to say how sorry I am that this is happening to you.  I hope for you that you have the strength and energy to get past that and that you can find happiness again.  

[hurtandmiserable 13]

37 minutes ago, CMJuilland said:

I think immigration- or ROC-wise, you got really good advice from @geowrian which I would follow. 

 

On a personal level, I just want to say how sorry I am that this is happening to you.  I hope for you that you have the strength and energy to get past that and that you can find happiness again.  

Thanks so much for your kind words! 
It means a lot to me ❤️
 

i need all prayers to get the strength to get out of this and appreciate your mental support

[TamMhmd 210]

stay strong! and shame to haters and trolls. we got your back!

[retheem 566]

28 minutes ago, hurtandmiserable said:

Thanks so much for your kind words! 
It means a lot to me ❤️
 

i need all prayers to get the strength to get out of this and appreciate your mental support

It will be well. I won't tell you that it won't hurt. But down the line you will be happy it happened. For the ROC, do the divorce waiver and retain all the evidence. You may need it for ROC and when you file for citizenship.

[ManCharsey 254]

Quote

I know I gave up sooo much in my own country, and honestly I want to continue to work for this company as I absolutely love my job and everything I built up in my career.

Therefore, I really would like to know if there is a way that I can file for the 10 year GC without him being involved so I can file for divorce right away!

You really don't need to explain yourself. If he's not treating you right, leave that boy. You will find someone who will treat you better.

The immigration law has provisions specifically for this. Wish you all the very best!