UK posts being made invisible

[no name 1]

So if posts are being removed because they are inflamatory the why is this still there????

Given the shocking behavior in my thread yesterday

Apply the rules to all not just to some...

Kez

and

Given the shocking behavior in my thread yesterday I feel this is no longer an appropriate or friendly place for me to be, especially since this site is all about family immigration and my cowardly ** of a soon to be ex husband lied his way through our marriage and we're now divorcing.

So I'm not really interested in hanging out with a bunch of happy families, especially when they're rubbing salt in my open wounds.

To the people who were supportive, thank you.

I may visit occasionally but this will be my last post for a while.

Wow, name change of my thread! Yes, censorship was appropriate. Damn, this is Big Brother!!!!

Edited June 22, 2007 by devilette

[john_and_marlene 162]

I vote for a mod empeachment!

[Mags 112]

I've been accused of being biased towards H_A before, which is total rubbish. However, perhaps I am simply more sympathetic to her current plight. She has just been told that her husband is leaving her. Her emotions are raw. She is going to vent and she is going to sound angry.

I'm going to give her a little leeway because of that. Crucify me if you must.

The rest of VJ however (who are not in similar situations) are not hurting, venting or feeling raw, not to the same extent. A little sympathy wouldn't go amiss and if you CAN'T feel sympathy then I request that you just stay away from her thread. Simple.

There was no need for many of the comments that were said, it did seem to me that the whole situation was used as an opportunity to get in little digs. That makes me incredibly sad. Sad that there are people around who will use some one else's utter devastation to have a go.

[Dr_LHA 3]

As someone who mods a forum myself, and has done for 10+ years, I'd say that deleting posts always leads to bad feeling, so I would rather not do it at all.

The better way to handle this is just to lock a thread when it gets out of hand, that way everyone just cools off and there's very little recriminations.

Of course this isn't my website, so clearly I have no say in how it is run, this is just a suggestion.

[TracyTN 237]

Given the nature of VJ in the last few months, I personally think the mods are trying their darnest to be the clowns in the middle of this rodeo ring. Its a thankless job.

Which is better - no moderation at all, which has gotten the board where it is now - or mods?

I don't like the idea of having 'go' at someone when they're down, either; but unfortunately, that person's 'track record' and nature of posting in the past has bitten them now, albeit at a vulnerable time.

Edited June 22, 2007 by TracyTN

[no name 1]

I've been accused of being biased towards H_A before, which is total rubbish. However, perhaps I am simply more sympathetic to her current plight. She has just been told that her husband is leaving her. Her emotions are raw. She is going to vent and she is going to sound angry.

I'm going to give her a little leeway because of that. Crucify me if you must.

The rest of VJ however (who are not in similar situations) are not hurting, venting or feeling raw, not to the same extent. A little sympathy wouldn't go amiss and if you CAN'T feel sympathy then I request that you just stay away from her thread. Simple.

There was no need for many of the comments that were said, it did seem to me that the whole situation was used as an opportunity to get in little digs. That makes me incredibly sad. Sad that there are people around who will use some one else's utter devastation to have a go.

Mags, with all due respect, you are incorrect.

You do not know what the rest of VJ is going through, so you can't speak for them.

As j&m said, there is NO consistency. What about all the digs H_A has made in the past?

[Kez/JWolf 6]

The posts I made invisible today would have lead to a flaming of some kind. As a mod, it is my duty to try and avoid these issues happening where possible. If I can nip something in the bud, I will. Today's was a culmination of some issues in the UK forum that have gone on for a couple of days.

Both these topics were locked due to flaming. The same would have happened with this thread. I acted accordingly to avoid a similar thing happening again.

I'm sorry if people were offended by this, but I stand by my decision.

i agree, with sister devilette..censorship is wrong..this is an open forum..i read your post and becca's and kez, i saw nothing negative in your comments, or dr ila either

Kezzie had a post made invisible because it quoted someone else's. I have not made anyone else's invisible today.

I did not quote heina's post all I said was "heina I hear ya!" and as the captain has quoated heina comment in the thread there was no need to make my post disapear....

Kez

[Jenn! 918]

All I have to say is that making posts invisible seems to incite more flame warring than it prevents. I guess maybe we should see what better solution exists, if any. Other boards that I'm on have inflammatory posts deleted all the time, especially when they are in the on-topic areas of the forum, and no one says a thing about it. Maybe the difference is that it's a professional board, so people are less willing to put up with any #######.

[no name 1]

And I repeat...

Yet, she can attack on her way out the door? Oh that seems fair. What is going on here? Geez.

[Captain Ewok 1,871]

I think that the system is not perfect of course. One member had a very hard personal situation (a nasty divorce) and was clearly upset. THere were posts in the topic both supporting and not. I think the problem was that bickering ensued. From there it bacame personal attacks and more.

Here is the thing. We can enforce the TOS to the "T" however in the end we are all adults. We have to learn to balance compassion as well as learn to let certain things people say brush off. I am not sure how to really put this into words but clearly when there is an emotional situation things can be said in the heat of the moment that are more rude than normal.

The mods felt they wanted to diffuse the situation and keep the topic "on topic" by removing personal jabs (or try to get the ones shey spotted). I have PM'd most members that were involved and discussed the situation. Bottom line is that everyone has been asked to consider the situation in light of the circumstances and to not resort to personal attacks or belittling each other.

I think cutting some slack until now due to the emotional issue was ok but if attacks continue by either side or anyone, I will be more stringint in enforcing the TOS.

Please lets all just remember the core values of the site to support and respect each other -- both sides should remember this.

I am moving this back to the UK forum as it is primarily a UK issue and not a general site related issue. I would prefer future posts on thgis be made there as well.

Thanks!

[TracyTN 237]

Great to know it won't be closed so that we can continue the conversation.

[Captain Ewok 1,871]

Nope not closing, only if it gets out of hand. Just moved back to the forum it related to.

[john_and_marlene 162]

No need to close this post--just delete the items you don't like.

[TracyTN 237]

Nope not closing, only if it gets out of hand. Just moved back to the forum it related to.

Just checkin!

[Captain Ewok 1,871]

The mods can make posts invisible that violate the TOS however in some cases it is a thine line to walk. It is good that maybe we discuss when or when not it is good. Clearly when certain types of inflamitory remarks are made it is good to remove. I am always -- and I am sure the mods are -- willing to discuss and figure out where things should or should not need moderation . Group discussion is welcome if it is constructive