Divorce is imminent - One year left on Conditional Green Card

[NikkiFromCanada 233]

Hello all,

 

I never in a million years imagined I would be writing this, but here I am. I am from Canada and my American husband and I have been together since 2013. We did long distance for 5 years before starting the K-1 Visa process in 2017 to bring me to the USA. We've been married for almost 2 years now. I moved to the US exactly two years ago today, from Canada. We had a huge wedding (for my family & friends) back in Canada in October 2019. Since March of this year, after many major disagreements, and trying hard to make it work, we finally accepted the fact that we are not compatible, we want to live two completely different lives (he is extremely antisocial) and the marriage is just not going to work. He has also been extremely emotionally & verbally abusive which has taken a massive toll on my self-worth and happiness (things I overlooked because I was blinded by love.) Due to Covid, and trying to be financially responsible, we are still living together and will for another few months. We are currently living as roommates, mostly amicable, and we both equally realize our marriage will not work. My two-year conditional Green Card is good for one more year. It will expire in July 2021. Realistically, I will likely be moving out and getting my own place at the end of the year/the beginning of 2021. 

 

I'm torn on what to do...do I push for us to get divorced quickly, and apply for the i-175 once the divorce is final, (in Maryland we can hopefully get an absolute, no fault divorce completed within 3 months) or do I see if we can delay the divorce, and then file the i-175 jointly for my Green Card renewal, and then divorce afterwards?

 

I don't want to do anything deceitful. I have decided that I do want to stay living in the US. I have a great paying job here and I feel like I could have an overall better life here, then I would back in Canada. What are my best chances on being able to stay in the US? The marriage and relationship was 100% real, and I truly thought I would be with him for the rest of my life, but it just has not worked out that way. It's grim because I'm 39 and it's not the best point in life to end up divorced with no kids, but this is what will be. I also really want to try to do everything on my own, without an immigration attorney. I did everything on my own so far, for this process and I had no problems. This forum has been such a great help to me in the past, so naturally I came here to seek guidance. Any advice is greatly appreciated. 

[Just Paul 4,595]

You will be fine to stay in the US.  That is not at risk.  If your husband is aimable to file with you, that is fine and can be changed to a divorce waiver later.  Otherwise you can file anytime you have the final divorce decree.  Or when your window is open file, check divorce, provide the documentation that you have.

 

Best wishes!

Edited July 30, 2020 by Paul & Mary

[NikkiFromCanada 233]

1 minute ago, Paul & Mary said:

You will be fine to stay in the US.  That is not at risk.  If your husband is aimable to file with you, that is fine and can be changed to a divorce waiver later.  Otherwise you can file anytime you have the final divorce decree.  Or when your window is open file, check divorce, provide the documentation that you have.

 

Best wishes!

Thank you. I appreciate the response. 

[Quarknase 1,072]

Staying in the US is not at risk for you. If you are ready to file for divorce now, you can do so and file for removal of conditions anytime after the divorce became final - earlier than the 90 day window before the 2 year greencard anniversary.

Alternatively - if you want to wait with the divorce, and your husband is willing to file jointly, you can do so when the 90 day window opens. I am not sure if USCIS can approve you at the interview without a divorce waiver since you are technically separated, but you can still change to a divorce waiver during the interview and provide the final decree afterwards (they will issue an RFE).

I hope this helps!

[Sukie 1,465]

Nikki, DO use this time to gather any evidence you need to have for the I-751 filing.  I'm glad you are living amicably, but if you do have separate living quarters eventually, it can be hard to find those documents.

 

I am sorry things did not work out for you.

 

Sukie in NY

[mushroomspore 3,044]

Hello, fellow Canadian! Born and bred Torontonian here. I have to say that I miss authentic poutine so much lately. 

 

Very sorry to hear about your situation. As others have said, you can still file RoC. I also say to finalize the divorce and then file RoC. Make sure to take copies (and any originals if you can) of your previous K1 and AoS paperwork. Also, please consider speaking to a therapist for recovery from the abuse. 

[carmel34 3,650]

52 minutes ago, mushroomspore said:

I miss authentic poutine

LOVE this comment!  It brings back so many good memories.  I used to live in Montreal and have never found anything that comes close to real poutine in the US, unless I make it myself at home.

[laylalex 7,300]

Just wanted to reach out and say (1) the advice you've been given so far about removing conditions is good and (2) you never know what good things life will bring you when you least expect them.  Yes, you will be 39 and divorced, but you will also be 39 and free. Free to live the life that you need to live for yourself, on the terms you set for yourself. I can tell you from experience, getting divorced sucked. Yep!   But it gave me the space to start defining myself again as a person outside of that relationship, and start paying attention to what I needed to be the person I had always wanted to be. I remain a work in progress.  

 

I just want to encourage you to take the space to acknowledge all the feelings you have now and going forward. Gather your people around you -- figuratively, because COVID19, obviously! -- and lean on them when you need support. I was surprised by how very many people there were to prop me up when life was at its worst -- when I finally spoke up. It was hard to talk about it at first, because I felt like I failed at something I really wanted to succeed at. But we don't "win" or "lose" at marriage -- we have ones that make us feel honored, respected, happy and safe, and ones that don't. Letting go of the bad ones isn't failure -- it's taking control. 

 

Best wishes to you from the Divorce Club -- it's not too bad over here.  

 

[NikkiFromCanada 233]

6 hours ago, laylalex said:

Just wanted to reach out and say (1) the advice you've been given so far about removing conditions is good and (2) you never know what good things life will bring you when you least expect them.  Yes, you will be 39 and divorced, but you will also be 39 and free. Free to live the life that you need to live for yourself, on the terms you set for yourself. I can tell you from experience, getting divorced sucked. Yep!   But it gave me the space to start defining myself again as a person outside of that relationship, and start paying attention to what I needed to be the person I had always wanted to be. I remain a work in progress.  

 

I just want to encourage you to take the space to acknowledge all the feelings you have now and going forward. Gather your people around you -- figuratively, because COVID19, obviously! -- and lean on them when you need support. I was surprised by how very many people there were to prop me up when life was at its worst -- when I finally spoke up. It was hard to talk about it at first, because I felt like I failed at something I really wanted to succeed at. But we don't "win" or "lose" at marriage -- we have ones that make us feel honored, respected, happy and safe, and ones that don't. Letting go of the bad ones isn't failure -- it's taking control. 

 

Best wishes to you from the Divorce Club -- it's not too bad over here.  

 

Thank you so much! Your comment is extremely uplifting and helpful!! ❤️