I129F denied due to 2 year meeting requirement, next steps for person with flying phobia? (merged)

[aaron2020 11,651]

41 minutes ago, devusr said:

There is NO fing way she is going to get a tourist visa especially since I told her to quit her job (wasn't making a big amount anyways). It is hard for single women to get a VISA in their 30s in Sri Lanka. I didn't really know that since this is the first time I'm doing this. I didn't do the research because the fing instructions said to file a hardship waiver from myside, I followed the instructions. Do you not understand??? Go and read the 129-F instructions WITHOUT thirdparty research.

You didn't know and you didn't do any research, but you know exactly what the hardship requirements were? 

 

The bottom line is that you read the hardship instructions and didn't do any research to understand what was required.  You presumed you knew and got a doctor's note.

How are you planning to go to the Bahamas when they're not allowing US tourists to visit?  Perhaps you should research that?

 

You have been given good advice to go to Sri Lanka, get marry, live together there, and file for the CR-1.  You need to research how you can travel to her and what is needed for you to get marry there.  
 

 

[Mike V 56]

On 7/22/2020 at 5:02 PM, Paul & Mary said:

You only had to meet her one time to get the USCIS I-129F approved.

Actually, that is incorrect.  There are two exceptions to the "meet in person" requirement:

1. Meeting in person prior to the marriage is not allowed by local law or customs.
2. The U.S. citizen is unable to travel (fear of flying won't work here, you need an excuse like poor health or rejection for a passport).

Unfortunately it appears the poster doesn't qualify for either exception.

[Mike V 56]

On 7/25/2020 at 1:56 PM, Pinkrlion said:

I would say Number 2 - you can drive to Miami and then Fly one hour to the Bahamas.  That will help with phobia.  

Or take a ferry:  $73 round trip ticket Fort Lauderdale <---> Freeport, no flying required.

 

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=ferry+florida+to+bahams

[Stutters 43]

Honestly just reading this post sounds so damm suspicious. 
 

I remember when I went for my green card. If you get that women interviewing you. You may as well just leave. 
 

this story just sounds sketch.

[pushbrk 12,876]

1 hour ago, devusr said:

When I filed the I129F application, I saw the hardship waiver of the 2 year meeting requirement. I read the instructions, I got the doctor's note because I had been to them to take medication for the phobia since 2005. It didn't WORK. As I said, it takes a person with this disorder to know,a magic pill isn't going to work. Why the hell do they have the hardship waiver with such a bad description/instructions.....I didn't know I had to go to a thirdparty unofficial forum to get instructions.

 

I filed it thinking the hardship waiver would be OK because it is really a hardship for me, the petitioner. That's what the ******* instructions say man.

 

Only now do I even know about the bahamas option. If I had known it earlier, I would have done it a thousand times.

No need to explain your past decisions further, really.  You know what you need to do next, right?  If so, can we move on please?

[AmandaandChayne 734]

On 7/25/2020 at 9:26 AM, devusr said:

Yep, I understand. I didn't send the gifts right away (well, I did send some pizza after a couple of weeks of talking to her). It took about 2 months of talking, we talked about everything (the deep things) day and night, I know ALL her ways and quirks. My point is if you spend that amount of time talking and listening to someone, you should be able to figure out if there is a connection and if they love you or not. For some people it takes 2 months, for other people it takes 2 years....we cannot quantify it with a math formula....it is the human aspect and every relationship/people are different.

Trust me, no amount of talking can mean you know someone. Me and my now husband averaged 16 hours every day for 23 months on the phone or massive video calls as our jobs allowed it, we lived virtually together. I visited him in the US 8 times and he visited me in England 4 times. 
I’ve been in the US 16 months now and I still don’t know my husband as well as I thought I did and recently got diagnosed with “adjustment disorder”.
We are doing good now but my point is you don’t know this girl as well as you think you do. Others are right to highlight red flags.

 

[AmandaandChayne 734]

5 hours ago, devusr said:

I shopped at whole foods and mom's organic. I sent food that is not easily gotten in Sri Lanka like bunch of $6 sardine and sockeye salmon tins (yeah its a seafood island but they don't even have access to real sardines) and 4+ boxes of lake champlain chocolate ($100 per box) etc. I want her to have the best and I can afford it, that's why I sent it.

 

As a christian and a libertarian, it doesn't make sense why it's a "privilege" and not a human right. If the CO/USCIS interviewed us both, they would understand  but we're reduced to numbers on a chart or some gubermint rubber stamp form. Our rights shouldn't come from a piece of paper or some government puppet, they are god given rights.

Immigration to the US isn’t a right it’s a privilege 

[Stutters 43]

 

4 hours ago, devusr said:

It was mentioned in the 129F, all the receipts of the wire transfers were included. Look, we did video chat 24/7 for a year, it is possible to figure out the mannerisms and ways during that time. Some people live together 40 years and end up not knowing each other......what mathematics equation do the CO/USCIS want to judge us by?!?!?!?

 

 

imma be straight honest with you. This is not going to end well.

 

you need to slow dowN and figure things out. This will cost you a ton of money if you don’t.

 

when I interviewed for my green card. I watched people get turned away for a lot less. 
 

ive read what you posted and I honestly believe that if you recount this story to a visa official you will be turned away -out of pocket.

 

i say this from a similar story I witnessed at the embassy.

 

But this situation is not great. 

Edited July 27, 2020 by Stutters

[Maria1989 403]

On 7/22/2020 at 12:13 PM, devusr said:

I sent it to her bank through western union over a period of 1 year. It was to be used for things like to pay rent, utilities, food etc.

 

Where can I get a yatch for 30k?

What in God’s green earth would cost 30k in one year in Sri Lanka. Certainly appears like a huge red flag to me.

 

i was so afraid to fly as well. Asking for a medical waiver for that, denied. I went to my doctor was prescribed medication to ease the anxiety and it was just fine. I had to fly to New York, then to my destination. A one hour and 30 minute flight and a 7 and a half hour flight. The lay over gave me time to regroup and take another dose of medication.

 

I have flown like 5 times now. No issues and the fear is gone. I truly understand it took me 2 years to finally work up the courage 

[Xia Angela 5]

On 7/23/2020 at 2:25 AM, carmel34 said:

This might work if you can take a boat to Sri Lanka, since you can't fly.  DCF is most likely not an option, it has been discontinued in most countries except for a few rare situations.  You would file a regular I-130 petition after marriage.  Later in the process you would need to show sufficient US-based income, which it sounds like you would have, plus a US domicile, so keep your US connections like a place to live, bank accounts, driver's license, pay US taxes, etc.  Find out from the Sri Lankan government what you need to live there for 1-2 years legally with your spouse.  Good luck!

I wonder how to take boat to Srilanka,from Maldives and India yes I know there's an options for that but from US you need to get by plane. And Srilanka is cheap country been there few times because i run a trip business arrangement there,not sure about living under marriage but u need to research everything.

Good luck

[Emilyis2nd 0]

I know this sounds like left field but have you tried contacting your Congress person? I would have them look into it for you and get some direct answers. That way you then have a paper trail as well to hold them accountable later. I made a call about the case I had filed and the delays at Guyana and they opened an investigation... evidently USCIS answers when they see a representative on the caller ID

[mushroomspore 3,044]

2 hours ago, Emilyis2nd said:

I know this sounds like left field but have you tried contacting your Congress person? I would have them look into it for you and get some direct answers. That way you then have a paper trail as well to hold them accountable later. I made a call about the case I had filed and the delays at Guyana and they opened an investigation... evidently USCIS answers when they see a representative on the caller ID

 I'm not sure a congressional rep can really help in this case though. OP was rightfully denied and congressional reps don't have any say in the decision. 

 

11 hours ago, AmandaandChayne said:

Trust me, no amount of talking can mean you know someone. Me and my now husband averaged 16 hours every day for 23 months on the phone or massive video calls as our jobs allowed it, we lived virtually together. I visited him in the US 8 times and he visited me in England 4 times. 
I’ve been in the US 16 months now and I still don’t know my husband as well as I thought I did and recently got diagnosed with “adjustment disorder”.
We are doing good now but my point is you don’t know this girl as well as you think you do. Others are right to highlight red flags.

 

Agree with all of this. Until you meet people in person, there's no way to know what they and their life is truly like. Living together is a whole other journey too. I was nervous when my husband and I moved in together (before we got married). It was both our first time living with a significant other and it's wise to allow time for that adjustment too. Also, sending $30K is a lot but definitely not indicative of anything. There are many *ahem* "special apps" out there to connect young attractive women with wealthy men for certain types of relationships (vice-versa exists too but not as common). Those men send those women gobs of money and if they REALLY wanted to, they could try to pass themselves off as a real couple. Anyhoo OP didn't do proper research and clearly has the wrong attitude about all this so that's on him.

[sl1pstream 551]

3 hours ago, mushroomspore said:

Anyhoo OP didn't do proper research and clearly has the wrong attitude about all this so that's on him.

OP thinks money will buy him an easy ticket through the process, but OP is wrong.

 

Can we also address that OP has supposedly lived overseas before and has taken multiple flights throughout his life but doesn't think he needs to do it now because both actually meeting his girlfriend and the requirements aren't reason enough to fly again. Sure, fear of flying, but that didn't stop him before and consciously dating someone who lived so far away would've meant flying there at some point to meet her family, like someone would want to in a healthy relationship.

Edited July 27, 2020 by sl1pstream

[Just Paul 4,595]

18 hours ago, Mike V said:

Actually, that is incorrect.  There are two exceptions to the "meet in person" requirement:

1. Meeting in person prior to the marriage is not allowed by local law or customs.
2. The U.S. citizen is unable to travel (fear of flying won't work here, you need an excuse like poor health or rejection for a passport).

Unfortunately it appears the poster doesn't qualify for either exception.

Correct - neither applies to his situation.

[devusr 41]

I got the denial letter - it is because of the 2 year meeting requirement and they said that even though I responded to the RFE with doctor's letter, medications tried, and a statement....it is still not enough evidence.

 

They said I can appeal the case if I want.

 

2 questions:

1) Do I need to withdraw the petition if I'm going to apply for the CR1? Do I need to do anything in regards to this prior to applying for CR1 or getting married?