I129F denied due to 2 year meeting requirement, next steps for person with flying phobia? (merged)

[Just Paul 4,595]

1 hour ago, Faisal1 said:

I  meet my wife for the first time in person i got engaged n we meet 2 time after filling k1  n got denied after stoke interview  then meet again for two weeks got married  filled for i 130 now waiting for interview after marriage didnt meet due to covid19 n still worried.    People are talking about one time meeting .. !!

A Stokes interview can occur after USCIS approval of a petition (I-129F or I-130F) at the AOS or ROC interview by USCIS.   It's namesake comes from an old INS case.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stokes_interview#:~:text=The%20Stokes%20interview%20is%20a,couple's%20marital%20status%20is%20fraudulent.

 

Stokes style interviews can also occur at Visa interview phase by a Consulate Officer.  This is quite rare especially since most petitioners do not even go to the consulate for the interview. I was there for my wife's interview and got called in to clarify a few things.  We were DCF so we didn't do stateside processing and presented our sponsorship and domicile documents at the interview.   There wasn't any issues with that but fortunately I was there because the consulate had miscalculated the need for my wife to have a Mexican Police Certificate.  

 

Your K1 petition was approved by USCIS after two meetings which is one more than is required by USCIS.  USCIS is looking more at the petitioner at this stage and determining if the parties are allowed to marry and that the petition is complete.  They are defereing any questions of the admissibility (other then J1 Home Residency Requirements, etc) of the petitioner to the next steps.  If the consulate does not believe the relationship (K1) or marriage (CR1/IR1) to be valid - that is not on the USCIS and for a K1, the petition can not be re-affirmed by the USCIS. This is one distinct reason why a spousal visa is better to apply for if there any concerns about the petition.

 

The OP failed to meet the "meeting once in 2 years" requirement needed to obtain USCIS approval.

[mushroomspore 3,044]

On 7/22/2020 at 2:47 PM, devusr said:

We had documented all these in the I-129F but still it got denied. I feel that this process is just treating people as a bunch of numbers on a chart.....it takes the "human" aspect of reasoning and common sense out of it.

You got denied because you didn't meet a requirement, not because the government secretly doesn't like you and wants to make your life harder. It's literally in the paperwork and it's the LAW.

[pushbrk 12,872]

6 hours ago, mushroomspore said:

You got denied because you didn't meet a requirement, not because the government secretly doesn't like you and wants to make your life harder. It's literally in the paperwork and it's the LAW.

Yes, this is not like a copy letting you slide for speeding BECAUSE you're rushing an injured child to the hospital.  You (talking to the OP here) don't have an emergency.  You a seeking (ultimately) Lawful Permanent Resident Status, for a foreigner.  You must comply with the law.  You want special treatment because of a phobia and the law doesn't allow that.  Time to put on your big boy shorts and make some tough decisions.

 

This money and gifts issue hurts you. It does not help you.  It is primarily the sincerity of the foreigner that is in question, not your sincerity.  After all, it is the foreigner that will receive the actual immigration benefit, and can leave you in the dust once they get here.

 

Get there, get married and spend a few months together, then file the petition.  It will be difficult, but you CAN do it.  If you don't or won't, expect further disappointment.

[Canerican 242]

On 7/22/2020 at 5:14 PM, devusr said:

She had her job. It is 2 sister's and parents living together (parents old and unemployed). They paid the bills (barely) and struggled a bit financially.

 

@devusr,

 

I understand that you may have the money to support your girlfriend and her family right now, but on a side note, it is always advised that the beneficiary not quit employment or dispose of property, etcetera before a visa is issued. 
 

On 7/22/2020 at 6:53 PM, devusr said:

It's 55 laks...price of a new Hyundai car there. Do you know how much jewellery costs at Vogue Jewelers? I bought her the best. I also sent "organic" food, that costs around $1200-2000 USD each time. Fully furnished a 2 room rental from scratch with brand new A/C units......I guess I'm not allowed to do that? What kind of ridiculousness has the world come to.

 

 

When I read this, I think about patient’s that I serve in the mental health field. If I start with the easy topics they will expect this all the time. When it comes to the hard topics they will then want the easy way instead. 
 

In your case you are lavishing this woman and her family with necessities but gifts as well, in all totaling 30K. My question to you is does she love you for you or does she love you for the gifts? I understand she has been a family friend for 30+ years but there is a difference between intrinsic (valuing a person) and  instrumental (valuing what you can get from a person) value. If you value someone instrumentally, you should first value them intrinsically.  My suggestion would be to spend time with her and don’t over lavish, then you will find out if she truly loves you. For all you know she could come to the USA and send money back to her parents without you being aware. I do recall this happening with a 90 Day Fiance couple, Chantel and Pedro.
 

Get to know her but also be cautious. If she comes to the US, gets her green card, and then leaves, you are required to pay back any benefits she receives until she has worked 40 quarters (approx. 10 years) or becomes a US Citizen through the agreement made with government via form I-864.  
 

[devusr 41]

Yep, I understand. I didn't send the gifts right away (well, I did send some pizza after a couple of weeks of talking to her). It took about 2 months of talking, we talked about everything (the deep things) day and night, I know ALL her ways and quirks. My point is if you spend that amount of time talking and listening to someone, you should be able to figure out if there is a connection and if they love you or not. For some people it takes 2 months, for other people it takes 2 years....we cannot quantify it with a math formula....it is the human aspect and every relationship/people are different.

[Canerican 242]

1 hour ago, devusr said:

Yep, I understand. I didn't send the gifts right away (well, I did send some pizza after a couple of weeks of talking to her). It took about 2 months of talking, we talked about everything (the deep things) day and night, I know ALL her ways and quirks. My point is if you spend that amount of time talking and listening to someone, you should be able to figure out if there is a connection and if they love you or not. For some people it takes 2 months, for other people it takes 2 years....we cannot quantify it with a math formula....it is the human aspect and every relationship/people are different.

i am not saying that it will not work. When you live together the quirks come under the microscope more. Things you thought you knew about that person may change. Different environment, different dynamics. I was perceived as quiet and reserved and mutual friends informed my now wife. After we got married I become an opinionated, talkative, outgoing person. My wife is the opposite of me, introvert with a people limit and loves quiet time. We have had to work through some things and trust me it has not been easy; I continually choose my spouse despite her flaws. Assess her flaws and whether or not they are deal breakers. Bliss can be ignorance Again, not saying it will not work, but everyone is indeed different. 

[devusr 41]

This is based on my previous post:

 

Question, which method is better? Which method will be scrutinized more?

 

#1:

Me going to Sri Lanka and staying for 3+ months. I'm very very scared of flying and if I do somehow manage to fly there, I marry her, file the CR1, and would stay until her VISA is granted. I will be paying mortgage, car, utility bills in the US while I'm in Sri Lanka so I think I can prove domicile. This is very stressful for me as I would have to fly 20+ hours and do 3+ flight changes.

 

#2:

Me bringing her to the Bahamas (no VISA necessary but she will need to get a transit British visa) and we would get married, file a CR1, and rent a house there. We would stay for 3 months (VISA is only granted for 3 months) and then she would fly back and I would drive back by taking a ferry. I would bring her back to the Bahamas at least 2-3 more times from the CR1 until the interview. This is the most easy for me to do but it may complicate the I-130 paperwork a bit.

 

I know right now COVID has limited options but I'm hoping to do this in October-November, hopefully those restrictions will be lifted.

[Pinkrlion 2,716]

I would say Number 2 - you can drive to Miami and then Fly one hour to the Bahamas.  That will help with phobia.  

[SalishSea 17,818]

49 minutes ago, devusr said:

Question, which method is better? Which method will be scrutinized more?

I think you're missing the point.  The 'method,' or location of the wedding is not of concern for a visa application.  Any marriage that is legally recognized and recorded where it takes place is legal for US immigration purposes.  It is the circumstances of the marriage itself that will be scrutinized.  

 

This is why everyone is telling you that a quick overseas trip to marry and then return home will not help your case.  Since time spent together is key to any relationship, that definitely will be scrutinized.  

[devusr 41]

59 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

I think you're missing the point.  The 'method,' or location of the wedding is not of concern for a visa application.  Any marriage that is legally recognized and recorded where it takes place is legal for US immigration purposes.  It is the circumstances of the marriage itself that will be scrutinized.  

 

This is why everyone is telling you that a quick overseas trip to marry and then return home will not help your case.  Since time spent together is key to any relationship, that definitely will be scrutinized.  

 

Ok but we're spending 3 months together (maximum limit for her visa) and then filing the CR1. After that, I will bring her 2 more times, each time 2-3 months...heck I'm willing to bring her 100s of times, doesn't matter.

 

1 hour ago, Pinkrlion said:

I would say Number 2 - you can drive to Miami and then Fly one hour to the Bahamas.  That will help with phobia.  

No, I can take the ferry from Florida to Bahamas.

[payxibka 10,045]

I think it is a better plan than filing a petition you were ineligible for 

[pushbrk 12,872]

6 hours ago, CDN(ON)-USA(VT) said:

i am not saying that it will not work. When you live together the quirks come under the microscope more. Things you thought you knew about that person may change. Different environment, different dynamics. I was perceived as quiet and reserved and mutual friends informed my now wife. After we got married I become an opinionated, talkative, outgoing person. My wife is the opposite of me, introvert with a people limit and loves quiet time. We have had to work through some things and trust me it has not been easy; I continually choose my spouse despite her flaws. Assess her flaws and whether or not they are deal breakers. Bliss can be ignorance Again, not saying it will not work, but everyone is indeed different. 

The above is all well and good, but it's not the purpose of this forum to give relationship advice.  We're here to help them be together in the USA if possible.  It is not going to be possible without him getting to her, getting married and spending some significant time together.  He can simply leave out any mention of support and gifts, when filing the petition.  That information will hurt, not help.  Leave it out.

 

Concentrate on getting there and staying for a while.  

[Lemonslice 4,834]

8 hours ago, devusr said:

Yep, I understand. I didn't send the gifts right away (well, I did send some pizza after a couple of weeks of talking to her). It took about 2 months of talking, we talked about everything (the deep things) day and night, I know ALL her ways and quirks. My point is if you spend that amount of time talking and listening to someone, you should be able to figure out if there is a connection and if they love you or not. For some people it takes 2 months, for other people it takes 2 years....we cannot quantify it with a math formula....it is the human aspect and every relationship/people are different.

It's impossible to know everything while being away. Smell, pheromones... Some things are only perceptible in person. 

 

Also, it's much easier to present our best side/censor ourselves/lie when away - I'm not saying it's the case, but it's easy to perceive only what we want, and filter the rest with the new relationship energy/love.

 

[angeljolie 188]

I have read the entirety of your other thread and I would say go for option 1 AND stay in Sri Lanka for 1-2 years (you mentioned in your other post that you can do this). While you're there, just do what normal married couples do, don't stress too much about the paperwork.  Eventually, when you file for the petition, you will have enough evidence to prove that you have a bona fide relationship with your wife. If you had the patience to wait to see her in person, you will also have the patience to build your evidence.

[carmel34 3,621]

I recommend option #1, it gives you more time to get to know each other and finally meet in person.  You can see her in her native country, learn more about her culture, language, food, meet her friends and family, etc.  Then after 3 or more months of living together in her country, you can make a more informed decision whether marriage is the next step for both of you.  Then you can stay together while you file an I-130 petition for a CR-1 spousal visa, that process will likely take more than a year.  The additional time together will be a big plus when it comes time for her visa interview.  The big disadvantage of #2 is that it will be like being on vacation together, different from "real life," and after 3 months you'll be separated again.  If you can figure out a way to fly to Sri Lanka, given your fear of flying, option #1 is best for so many reasons.  Good luck!