fiance completely clueless???

[Ephesia 0]

My then fiance wasn't hopeless with the K1 process, but attention to detail was and is never one of his strengths. Whenever we talked about the visa process, I avoided using all the acronyms because that always threw him for a loop. I had to say things like, "Did you get a second green official-looking letter in the mail, hon?" And right there he'd know exactly what I was talking about.

From the start of the K1 process to the end of my AOS, I got most of the paperwork done on my own because I was not working during that period of time. Bless his heart, he did all he could to gather what was required at his end. I would also send him e-mail reminders of what documents he had to send me for my K1 visa interview. I also used bulleted points in my e-mails so it was easy for him to read and absorb. I learned a very long time ago that with men, it is better to be brief and to-the-point.

Hang in there and do whatever you can. If you feel your fiance is not doing his part, you need to talk with him and politely ask him to be more involved with you in this process. And never assume he understands what you are talking about. Be patient, and keep communicating.

All the best for the rest of your process.

So my fiance still hasn't receive the rfe in the mail and tomorrow it will be two weeks since they 'sent it' according to the email. So I tell my fiance to call them since it said if you haven't received it in two weeks call the national centre. I had to find the number for him to call and than i sent him an email reminding him that he needs our case number from the noa1 when he calls. He emails me backing saying 'what's a noa1 and where is a case number?' (he's the one from USA)

Anyone else's fiance completely hopeless on knowing this process and you have to do almost everthing?? I'm feeling alone and hopeless and want to know if anyone else is in the same boat with their other half?

[silverbutterfly228 0]

Why are you marrying this guy if you obviously have no respect for him? I seem to remember you complaining about him in another post somewhere to if I"m not mistaken.

How about being grateful to the fact that you're getting a visa to the US because of him??

Since this is my post I HAD to respond to this! Being greatful to the fact of getting a visa to the us? I'm laughing my fukcing a** off. I live in Canada there buddy that happens to not be that much different from the USA. I get free health care. And back in the day people from USA escaped to come to Canada because it was a better country with better rules. If it wasn't for him I WOULD NOT GO TO THE USA. There is no need. I have a great life in my own country (excluding him not here.) I don't need the USA. Nice to know your relationship was based on getting a visa to the USA.

To everyone else who replyed. Thanks! It helps me feel not so stuck in all of this. you guys are great. To all the people on here doing this out of love and to be together for ur fiance and not for his/her country I respect you. You guys are really great and so supportive!

[Fandango 1,439]

My fiancee doesn't know all the terminology, but he's been so damn busy lately it's not even funny! He's in the process of selling off his stuff, selling the house (he'll stay with family until we get accepted), working, etc. His computer's on the fritz at home and he never has time during work to discuss things. Poor thing! If I weren't so busy I'd go over to help him, but that is not possible atm.

He is coming over next month so we can tackle this thing together....we'll both know all the terms by then, hahaha. I still am so confused with everything, it makes my head spin!!!

He is also not grateful for the visa....he'd happily do it the other way around...and it's not an easy thing to give up your whole existance to start somewhere new. I wouldn't want him to be grateful for the visa. What I would want is for him to be grateful for my love & hard work for us as a couple....amongst other things....but they are the very things I am grateful to him for!

I must say. Totally in agreement w/you. Just reminds me what my baby said to me before I proposed to her and Ill paraphrase "I would live and share my life with you in USA, Brasil or anywhere on or off of this planet". She doesnt care if she lives here or there. What matters is that we are together / united.

IT is confusing. Paperwork is a drag and now that my baby has packet 3 she is very nervous about finishing it - it even makes her cry (Anna and Marcela can vouch for me). Good luck!! Dave

That is a beautiful saying...and we all know what she's talking about!

My fiance wouldn't dream of moving country if not for me.

Anyways, best of luck to you with packet 3...you must be so excited!!!

[CJ&Jum 0]

Your fiance could always move to Canada to be with you.

I doubt that many people who read and post on the VJ forum have a relationship based on getting a visa to come to the US. In fact, my impression of a lot of people on here is that they fell in love, discussed their relationship and future together, and then happened across this wonderful site where they subsequently went down the visa path.

C.J.

Why are you marrying this guy if you obviously have no respect for him? I seem to remember you complaining about him in another post somewhere to if I"m not mistaken.

How about being grateful to the fact that you're getting a visa to the US because of him??

Since this is my post I HAD to respond to this! Being greatful to the fact of getting a visa to the us? I'm laughing my fukcing a** off. I live in Canada there buddy that happens to not be that much different from the USA. I get free health care. And back in the day people from USA escaped to come to Canada because it was a better country with better rules. If it wasn't for him I WOULD NOT GO TO THE USA. There is no need. I have a great life in my own country (excluding him not here.) I don't need the USA. Nice to know your relationship was based on getting a visa to the USA.

To everyone else who replyed. Thanks! It helps me feel not so stuck in all of this. you guys are great. To all the people on here doing this out of love and to be together for ur fiance and not for his/her country I respect you. You guys are really great and so supportive!

[Paul & wubit 0]

Hello all

well i was reading this post and iam a usc and my fiance is ethiopian

and she does not understand this process but to be honest with you i really dont care if she does or does not understand it.

Because i have the kind of job where i can live any where in the world i want. so to make it easy on us iam going to rent my house out in the Us

and store all my things and go live over there with her till we are done with all this process. plus i like it over there anyway. but i will be getting married over there. but i feel for the ones where this process is so stressful . i all will be okay in the long run .

Just thought i would share my take on this I just need to be with my baby and i dont like this long space between us .

[Steph1010 1]

I have fille dout most of the forms and found out most of the information for my fiance. I have access to the internet while Renato does not. I helped him fill out all his forms....including th eones for his interview because I am better with paperwork than he is. Plus his handwriting is awful! When I explaint hings to him I have to explain them numerous times so most of the time it is easier to take care of it myself. He tries though

[Englishsammy 17]

Yep my darling Roshon (USC) has had hardly anything to do with the process - he bought the NOA2 with him when he came to visit and thats it!!! He knows its stressful and its best left to me!!!! I know if I really needed his help he'd do it though (although it would take him ages and would probably end up even more disasterous/stressful!!!)

I know i'm good at this kinda stuff and he's just not, but that suits me because I'm bossy and like stuff done my way

And as for being grateful for the visa, I think that poster should reconsider their fiance if thats what they think all us foreign fiances want!!! I'll just be grateful to be back with my love

[MrMrsKnight 0]

IT is confusing. Paperwork is a drag and now that my baby has packet 3 she is very nervous about finishing it - it even makes her cry (Anna and Marcela can vouch for me). Good luck!! Dave

I just wanted to add that I'm Marcela by the way .... I'm not sure people here know my name, other than the usual MrMrsKnight

[Ladylethal 12]

Like I was trying to say the first time Silverbutterfly and I were talking about my fiance´s absent mindness, and this same person said I had no respect for him, now we see his idea of respect and love.

Seriously, if you think we´re here for the visa, maybe you´re the one here for the wrong reasons.

[silverbutterfly228 0]

Like I was trying to say the first time Silverbutterfly and I were talking about my fiance´s absent mindness, and this same person said I had no respect for him, now we see his idea of respect and love.

Seriously, if you think we´re here for the visa, maybe you´re the one here for the wrong reasons.

so true... once again

[Fandango 1,439]

Hello all

well i was reading this post and iam a usc and my fiance is ethiopian

and she does not understand this process but to be honest with you i really dont care if she does or does not understand it.

Because i have the kind of job where i can live any where in the world i want. so to make it easy on us iam going to rent my house out in the Us

and store all my things and go live over there with her till we are done with all this process. plus i like it over there anyway. but i will be getting married over there. but i feel for the ones where this process is so stressful . i all will be okay in the long run .

Just thought i would share my take on this I just need to be with my baby and i dont like this long space between us .

I'm a little confused by your post...it could be a typo? but I just thought I'd point out that if you're applying for a K1, you need to get married in America.

[djcess 0]

You're not alone sistah! My fiance (the USC) is a very nice man but, when it comes to this k1 visa thing, my GOD!!!! MY GODDDDDD!!!! Believe me, I am an assertive, most impatient person in the world... but with him, i have to be aggressive! haha! maybe not aggressive, but almost there he does cooperate little by little everyday but it's like he has all these lame excuses why he can't write the letters tonight cz work was so stressful today, or 'oh, i didn't know i have to notarize it' when you've told him a dozen times.. You have no idea how much persistence I give this man. But hey, just before we started everything, that's one of his idiosyncrasies/ flaws which I either have to accept, ignore or Leave.. So, I'm not complaining anymore because that's part of the DJ that i love... So my advice? just take a deep breath and continue asking for his help because I'm sure he will......later! hehe..

[isleta521 5]

IT is confusing. Paperwork is a drag and now that my baby has packet 3 she is very nervous about finishing it - it even makes her cry (Anna and Marcela can vouch for me). Good luck!! Dave

I just wanted to add that I'm Marcela by the way .... I'm not sure people here know my name, other than the usual MrMrsKnight

HI MrMrsKnight !!!!

Thank you LisaD for the good luck. We are very excited.

Dave

[Cristy 4]

How about being grateful to the fact that you're getting a visa to the US because of him??

And whats so special about getting a visa to the US??? I am grateful to my husband for his love and support no mater where we live....

Kezzie

I could not agree more.

My finance (the USC) is sort of clueless too. I read here, I learn, I lead him. I have gotten frustrated and sent him links when he has friends giving him wrong info....like I can just move there and apply to be a citizen or I can work the day I get there. Kind of annoying but oh well.

[Stefanie 1]

My husband has no clue what an NOA1 and NOA2 is, or what AOS, EAD or whatever is. He is the US citizen and throughout the entire process we just called NOA1 a "notice that they received our paperwork" and NOA2 was a "notice that we got approved". AOS is the "greencard application" and EAD is the "work permit".

I didn't expect him to know all the abbreviations because there is no point. It just makes it easier on boards like this to talk about all the paperwork if you have abbreviations.

Also, I have always loved paperwork and researching. I just told him what he needed to do and he took care of it. I filled out everything and he just signed it. That's the way many relationships are like. Even now that we live together and are married, I run the household by taking care of all the financials and so on.

I wouldn't be mad at him or call him clueless.

....and being grateful to get a visa to get into the US? This is just rediculous. I agree with everyone else who is here because he or she found love and completeness because that's why I am here!

Edited April 1, 2006 by Stefanie