fiance completely clueless???

[Linababe 0]

I am also in the same boat my fiance hates reading forums etc and research he says I do a better job of it all but its getting to me now too I feel im the only one doing this process - but I have also mentioned in my previous posts that he is a "When it happen's we will deal with it" kinda guy and I am a "what if's" type of gal. It doesnt help that we are far away from each other when all I need sometimes is a big hug and id be happy to carry on with the work. I ended up sending him an email listing all the things he needs to get before my interview and outlines some timelines for him to get the stuff, he said he read it and will deal with it but as of today I dont think he has done anything:( But I love him all the same IT is very hard and youre not alone, i'm glad to hear that I am not alone too I asked him to swing by this forum and just read if only he would spend like half hour in a week to just read the posts and others concerns - his response was - "i dont care what others are doing" So thats it I cant even get him to swing by here

Lina (UKC)

[brtlmj 0]

I would never call my USC fiancee "clueless" (I know what is good for me ), but is she had to call CSC, she would definitely ask me to look up the phone number and brief her on what to say. I simply know more about K-1 visas and would need less time to find the information.

A relationship is a bit similar to international trade - do what you do best, and everyone will benefit

Now, I am sure that if she ever has to learn about the process for any reason - she will, without any problems. But right now, there is no point in her wasting her time. She knows the general outline, I take care of the details.

Bartek

[Ladylethal 12]

To Ufkmill: No, the last time you talked about respect was towards me, when I called my fiance absent minded. If you checked the other topic it´s explained there that you were misunderstood, and my fiance even posted himself to explain to you that he IS absent minded and that he asked me to fill the forms for him.

But now I see that you just want to have a say in others relationships, and I honestly think it´s not your problem how a couple deal with their issues. Just ´cus we´re going through this process doesn´t mean we´re perfect, or that we don´t have problems like regular couples do. It´s not a matter of respect, is a matter of it being real, if it´s real, it´s bound to have problems and complaints, and those are being done with respect. Besides, if her fiance (like mine) isn´t complaining, why should YOU?

Edited March 29, 2006 by Luis&Laura

[tom&tata 2]

How about being grateful to the fact that you're getting a visa to the US because of him??

Problem is husband does not require me to be grateful to him for getting me the visa. I am grateful for his love and his understanding though, but not the visa

Sorry could not resist

[Kez/JWolf 6]

How about being grateful to the fact that you're getting a visa to the US because of him??

And whats so special about getting a visa to the US??? I am grateful to my husband for his love and support no mater where we live....

Kezzie

[Mand 1]

To be honest, when we were going through the K1 process, I didn't even know what the term NOA1 was, I called it the "thingy from that crowd".

I agree with Bartek's statement about do what you do best, and everyone will benefit . I know more about the paper-work and process of our visa than my husband does, but he's there for me every step of the way.

When I need stuff from him...employer letter, pay stubs etc, I just tell him why we need them and he gets them for me. When we were going through our K1 visa and needed to call the Dublin Embassy, I gave him our case number and the Embassy number and he called them. I don't mind doing the detail side of it, and he doesn't mind doing some gathering either.

I will say, the K1 process is VERY stressful, and small issues become magnified. You have to take some time to think of each other and forget that USCIS are making you jump through hoops, it's hard I will admit, but you really do need to try and have some portion of your relationship that is solely your own and in no way connected to USCIS.

Good Luck with the rest of your journey

[shannon65 2]

Yes, it is that way for me, has been from the beginning. He had no idea how to go about this, I've done all the research on it and since I'm the USC it was my job to start the process anyway. I just tell him what documents we need and what to do with them. It's fine with me....but actually now the process is over in his country, I feel frustrated - because I can do less now.

[Euro 3]

How about being grateful to the fact that you're getting a visa to the US because of him??

Oh I too will try to remember that.....

Uh huh me too

[Ladylethal 12]

I will also add that I´m not grateful for the visa, I mean, I am grateful to have found the love of my life, my soulmate, the person I wanna share my life with, but ´cus of the visa? The visa doesn´t matter, if we could do it differently, we would of. If it was simpler for him to come over, it´d be great for me, but unfortunatly, it isn´t, so I have to go there.

[Fandango 1,439]

My fiancee doesn't know all the terminology, but he's been so damn busy lately it's not even funny! He's in the process of selling off his stuff, selling the house (he'll stay with family until we get accepted), working, etc. His computer's on the fritz at home and he never has time during work to discuss things. Poor thing! If I weren't so busy I'd go over to help him, but that is not possible atm.

He is coming over next month so we can tackle this thing together....we'll both know all the terms by then, hahaha. I still am so confused with everything, it makes my head spin!!!

He is also not grateful for the visa....he'd happily do it the other way around...and it's not an easy thing to give up your whole existance to start somewhere new. I wouldn't want him to be grateful for the visa. What I would want is for him to be grateful for my love & hard work for us as a couple....amongst other things....but they are the very things I am grateful to him for!

[fpizza34 0]

Get your fiance onto this site and tell him to read, read, read. If he's serious about you, he'll do it.

Thats a bit harsh dont you think? My fiance handles the majority of the paperwork because I trust her to get it right. When she rattles off information to me I simply write it down and I do as she asked. I dont question what a form means and even I asked what an NOA1 meant! Does this mean Im not serious about my future wife?

[flash 0]

Edited March 29, 2006 by flash

[isleta521 5]

My fiancee doesn't know all the terminology, but he's been so damn busy lately it's not even funny! He's in the process of selling off his stuff, selling the house (he'll stay with family until we get accepted), working, etc. His computer's on the fritz at home and he never has time during work to discuss things. Poor thing! If I weren't so busy I'd go over to help him, but that is not possible atm.

He is coming over next month so we can tackle this thing together....we'll both know all the terms by then, hahaha. I still am so confused with everything, it makes my head spin!!!

He is also not grateful for the visa....he'd happily do it the other way around...and it's not an easy thing to give up your whole existance to start somewhere new. I wouldn't want him to be grateful for the visa. What I would want is for him to be grateful for my love & hard work for us as a couple....amongst other things....but they are the very things I am grateful to him for!

I must say. Totally in agreement w/you. Just reminds me what my baby said to me before I proposed to her and Ill paraphrase "I would live and share my life with you in USA, Brasil or anywhere on or off of this planet". She doesnt care if she lives here or there. What matters is that we are together / united.

IT is confusing. Paperwork is a drag and now that my baby has packet 3 she is very nervous about finishing it - it even makes her cry (Anna and Marcela can vouch for me). Good luck!! Dave

Edited March 29, 2006 by isleta521

[Ladylethal 12]

Exactly my point. My Luis and I are thinking that maybe in the future we can come to Brasil, ´cus he knows I want to work with Law and I worked my ####### off 5 years in Law School. He wants to see if he can transfered here to Brasil in the future.

[Euro 3]

My Husband has NO idea about any of this, he has a memory like a sieve!!, and we have been doing it a while now, infact we joke about it all.....i ask him little questions like...."Mark, whats a NOA1?"......he's like ....hahahaha, NOT even touching the thing about ...How about being grateful to the fact that you're getting a visa to the US because of him??