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MichelleandCraig

The Say Anything Thread

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Emancipation Mentor

Emancipation   2

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
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Posted
I don't want to delve too much into my personal life...so I am kinda asking in a generalized way.

How do you know when a relationship is over? If there is maritial problems how long do you give the person to get things straight before you move on? If they aren't holding up their end of the deal and getting help...how long do you wait to be done with it? I know every situation is unique and there are lots of things you have to take into consideration. Just looking for some insight...maybe another way to look at things.

well.. mmmmm I've been divorced.. so I guess i can tell you how I decided my 1st marriage was over. There was physical abuse going on, so it was a bit cut & dried, but I waited almost 3 years to divorce him. Sometimes a break is needed, I firmly believe that. If you are rehashing the same arguement over and over again, can't seem to get past something and/or the situation is one where someone is in danger. I HIGHLY recommend counselling for the couple and individually.. cause sometimes the one person who is sick/dealing with issues, can make the other person sick just because they get sucked into the chaos.. I went to counselling.. LOADS of it.. ALANON, Marraige counselling weekends, and follow up sessions (follow up by myself because he refused to go).. and I did loads of personal counselling on my own as well.. I put in EVERYTHING I had.. I wanted to walk away KNOWING i had done everything possible to save the marriage - That was important for me personally! My ex did nothing.. in fact refused help, refused counselling, refused to admit his part in the abuse or the problems with us.. that was the nail on the coffin for me.

I met with him about 3 months before I filed for divorce. Someone he trusted told him he HAD to reconcile with me or he would NEVER be able to do his job again (he was a youth pastor). THAT was his only reason for meeting with me - his career was on the line and he blamed me for it. He never stopped blaming me for the ending of the marriage.. To this day. I knew then that he would never get help and it was time to move on.

Remember there is and should be a LONG process inbetween a separation and a divorce IMO... I wanted to do all that I could do for my marriage.. give it every chance possible. I now live with a clear conscience.. THAT is priceless..

AOS:

2007-02-22: Sent AOS /EAD

2007-03-06 : NOA1 AOS /EAD

2007-03-28: Transferred to CSC

2007-05-17: EAD Card Production Ordered

2007-05-21: I485 Approved

2007-05-24: EAD Card Received

2007-06-01: Green Card Received!!

Removal of Conditions:

2009-02-27: Sent I-751

2009-03-07: NOA I-751

2009-03-31: Biometrics Appt. Hartford

2009-07-21: Touched (first time since biometrics) Perhaps address change?

2009-07-28: Approved at VSC

2009-08-25: Received card in the mail

Naturalization

2012-08-20: Submitted N-400

2013-01-18: Became Citizen

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Traviesa Proficient

Traviesa   0

Posted
Filed: Country: Guatemala
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Posted
I don't want to delve too much into my personal life...so I am kinda asking in a generalized way.

How do you know when a relationship is over? If there is maritial problems how long do you give the person to get things straight before you move on? If they aren't holding up their end of the deal and getting help...how long do you wait to be done with it? I know every situation is unique and there are lots of things you have to take into consideration. Just looking for some insight...maybe another way to look at things.

I think when it's over you know. Like there's something in your mind that realizes it's time to move on. A good indication that it's time for it to be over is when things aren't changing-and you no longer care. I don't think there's a time limit-you wait until your patience runs out or until you just don't care anymore.

Don't let the sunshine spoil your rain...just stand up and COMPLAIN!

-Oscar the Grouch

Bootylicious!! Mentor

Bootylicious!!   2

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Filed: Timeline
Posted

I knew it was over with my ex way before I left. I dated him for 3 years and was married to him for 6 years. That was about 3 years too long. He was also abusive though so it was a lot easier for me to figure it all out. One reason I stayed for so long though was because my self esteem was so low I thought I'd never find anyone else to care for me. I agree with Melissa, I think when it's over, you just know it's over. I didn't try counseling and all that stuff because I knew he wouldn't put forth any effort. I didn't want to waste anymore time on him than I already had. I guess it just depends on what kind of person you are and how much you are willing to sacrifice for the other person. I had decided I sacrificed enough for him and I was done. And when I was done, I was done. He begged me to take him back and I never entertained the idea. My mom told me I was a heartless ######, but I was so done with him. Now, I'm so glad I made that decision. I think it was one of the better ones I've made in my lifetime.

Just couldn't stay my @ss away!

Yaads Experienced

Yaads   0

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Jamaica
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Posted (edited)

Thanks for the insight.

When can we sign up for the redo in life and get things back on track?

Life is hard :( I knew it would be...just wasn't prepared for the huge amount of ####### all at once...what happened to spreading it out a little and equal distribution over time? :P

Edited because I was a little mumbly :)

Edited by Jme3584
Bootylicious!! Mentor

Bootylicious!!   2

Posted
Filed: Timeline
Posted
Thanks for the insight.

When can we sign up for the redo in life and get things back on track?

Life is hard :( I knew it would be...just wasn't prepared for the huge amount of ####### all at once...what happened to spreading it out a little and equal distribution over time? :P

Edited because I was a little mumbly :)

I don't know. I've wanted a couple of redo's too. One of my friends told me the reason we don't have redo's is because we would live in the past. I guess she's right. I'd always want to go back and fix things I didn't do just right the first time. I'm too much of a perfectionist. The little things would kill me.

Just couldn't stay my @ss away!

Marilyn. Grand Master

Marilyn.   340

Posted
Filed: Other Country: Canada
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Posted

hubby and I stocked up on a lot of low fat/low calorie food this weekend... we checked all the labels etc.... took us over 2 hours to shop ...lol

now we just have to eat it...lol

tonight I am making turkey taco salad with mango salsa... I got the recipe form a cooking light magazine...

it might turn out to be turkey tacos though because I don't have the proper tools to make the taco shell... I need a custard dish, to drape the tortilla over and I don't have any...

mvSuprise-hug.gif
no name Grand Master

no name   1

Posted
Filed: Timeline
Posted
it might turn out to be turkey tacos though because I don't have the proper tools to make the taco shell... I need a custard dish, to drape the tortilla over and I don't have any...

just use tortilla chips on the bottom, that's just as delish!

PS: Taco salad shells are usually very high in fat & not light since they are fried...

Marilyn. Grand Master

Marilyn.   340

Posted
Filed: Other Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted
it might turn out to be turkey tacos though because I don't have the proper tools to make the taco shell... I need a custard dish, to drape the tortilla over and I don't have any...

just use tortilla chips on the bottom, that's just as delish!

PS: Taco salad shells are usually very high in fat & not light since they are fried...

these weren't going to be fried but baked....

but we are just going to have turkey tacos..

mvSuprise-hug.gif
Nessa Grand Master

Nessa   23

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
 Timeline
Posted
:dead:



* K1 Timeline *
* 04/07/06: I-129F Sent to NSC
* 10/02/06: Interview date - APPROVED!
* 10/10/06: POE Houston
* 11/25/06: Wedding day!!!

* AOS/EAD/AP Timeline *
*01/05/07: AOS/EAD/AP sent
*02/19/08: AOS approved
*02/27/08: Permanent Resident Card received

* LOC Timeline *
*12/31/09: Applied Lifting of Condition
*01/04/10: NOA
*02/12/10: Biometrics
*03/03/10: LOC approved
*03/11/10: 10 years green card received

* Naturalization Timeline *
*12/17/10: package sent
*12/29/10: NOA date
*01/19/11: biometrics
*04/12/11: interview
*04/15/11: approval letter
*05/13/11: Oath Ceremony - Officially done with Immigration.

Complete Timeline

Nessa Grand Master

Nessa   23

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
 Timeline
Posted

Is my hubby around?



* K1 Timeline *
* 04/07/06: I-129F Sent to NSC
* 10/02/06: Interview date - APPROVED!
* 10/10/06: POE Houston
* 11/25/06: Wedding day!!!

* AOS/EAD/AP Timeline *
*01/05/07: AOS/EAD/AP sent
*02/19/08: AOS approved
*02/27/08: Permanent Resident Card received

* LOC Timeline *
*12/31/09: Applied Lifting of Condition
*01/04/10: NOA
*02/12/10: Biometrics
*03/03/10: LOC approved
*03/11/10: 10 years green card received

* Naturalization Timeline *
*12/17/10: package sent
*12/29/10: NOA date
*01/19/11: biometrics
*04/12/11: interview
*04/15/11: approval letter
*05/13/11: Oath Ceremony - Officially done with Immigration.

Complete Timeline

Emancipation Mentor

Emancipation   2

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted

Hallo all... I'm feeling :dead: today too :(

AOS:

2007-02-22: Sent AOS /EAD

2007-03-06 : NOA1 AOS /EAD

2007-03-28: Transferred to CSC

2007-05-17: EAD Card Production Ordered

2007-05-21: I485 Approved

2007-05-24: EAD Card Received

2007-06-01: Green Card Received!!

Removal of Conditions:

2009-02-27: Sent I-751

2009-03-07: NOA I-751

2009-03-31: Biometrics Appt. Hartford

2009-07-21: Touched (first time since biometrics) Perhaps address change?

2009-07-28: Approved at VSC

2009-08-25: Received card in the mail

Naturalization

2012-08-20: Submitted N-400

2013-01-18: Became Citizen

 
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