Situations After Entering US

[Mr_MoRoCCo 0]

Hi Again...

I Thank you all for the replies and the different ways of thinking and be truely in love ...well yes i beleive love can surprise from so many ways and can make miracles as long as you have faith in each other , and the strength to jump with your relationship to the next level till u close to make it perfect , and I also understand and beleive that theres barriers also that make it a little bit harder sometimes and makes u have the will to give up , The reason why I poste this topic not because my wife not doing her job as a wife or not beeing wonderful .. yes she is so wonderful and so amaizing .. but as i said above ... THE BARRIERS ,, Circumanstance that you stop sometimes in the middle of the way ... " Whats it " almost all of you mention beeing a homesick sometimes . Most of you knows how it feels to be that way . And it can get harder if both sides are feeling the same way .

Yes some you see leaving the country and others they dont see it this way ... but i beleive so much that yes its a sacriface .... coming to a new world trying to adjust trying to change everything .. sometimes even your skin and the color of your hair_so nobody will look at you as a black hair _ (well i didnt do that and i never will . ) but its just sometimes you want to stop other from looking at you as an alien .. which the gov call us as an aliens ... SAcriface .. its a word that u use to to make your self feel better and work hard to make it a great one .So i say to those that they dont think its a sacriface ... just make your partners feel that its a sacriface .. and you will see the result .. show him how you appreciate what he is doing and what he did .. and you will find that he will appreciate the day you was born ... will aprrecait the reasons he/she met you for . By then you both will walk this life with an immortal love ful of joy and happiness .

Just a note to correct what i said in my previous poste .... I didnt mean that u couldnt find a kind loving man in your country which made you look overseas ... i didnt mean that ... Because Know theres so many kind loving man that can be an exeple for the good husband and the good man ....And what i meant .... " As long as you found in him/her what your looking for " then apprreciate that for him ... so he can appreciate that in return for you ...

A succeful relationship it takes too to be in the right way .. and it will always need at least one to take the advance for the next steps ... so lets think about our relationship lets set and backup with our memmories ... and lets think that the time is runing ....and i will always come back to say ... Appreciation is the key to let go all the anger and loneless .

I am very happy With VJ because once i though the saying that it says "The end of real love was in 80's" But i was so happy to know that you guys have so much love for your partneers and god bless you all .. and makes 'em your forever partner ...

( By the way my wife love me very much too and I will forever appreciate all what she did and all what she is doing for me I beleve its a sacriface And I thank her for that)... and Thank you ALL

[ramos96 1]

<hug>

From all of us to you.

Ramos

[Mary Lou 681]

My husband doesn't view immigration as a sacrifice. He doesn't feel that he gave anything up to be with me...that wouldn't sit well with me if he reminded me of "what he sacrificed for me". No, he sees it more as what he gained by immigrating...a loving wife, a daughter, and a happy marriage. If one wants to come here and be with their beloved, how is that a sacrifice? Yes he gave up being able to see his family and friends daily, but it's not like he doesn't keep in touch with them. With that said, I do appreciate the fact that he WANTED to come here and live with me, more than anyone realizes.

IMHO, to regard this process as a sacrifice (and reminding one's spouse of said sacrifice) might be the recipe for resentment and guilt down the road.

I have my whole family here in SA as well as a stable job for nearly 5 years, I have a car and had a brand new house with absolutely everything you need in it.

None of that completes me the way my husband does!

As you said not sacrafice but GAIN!

I am not leaving anything behind! If anyone here in SA misses me we will make a plan to visit one another.

I beleive:

THE HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS......

Right now I own the clothes on my back, my car - until I leave, my daughters clothes and toys.

I have sold my house and everything in it. And I am looking forward to the brightest future and Happiness I could ever have dreamt for!

No sacrafice at all!

You definitely have a good attitude about your future!! Well said.

[bora bora 1]

I liked this post!

I often think about how my husband left his country, family, friends, culture, language, life in Brazil for me. It makes me feel very blessed and loved.

We met while I was living in Brazil and we started to date there. However, I was there on a work visa and when it expired I came home. We didn't know what we were going to do at that point.

I went back as often as I could to visit as we were trying to decide who would live where.

He wanted me to stay and live in Brazil because he never had any intention of leaving his country. However, we decided it'd be better for us both if he came and lived in the U.S. He started to like the idea more after awhile and was looking forward to moving - especially once his move was becoming more realistic.

He is very happy with his decision now and does not plan on returning to Brazil to live - only to vacation and visit family/friends. He wants to make a life for us here.

I know that he misses Brazil a little bit, as well as his family, but he is glad to be here. I feel so special to know that he left everything he knew for me. I love this man so much!!

I'd do the same thing for him though. While we were waiting for the visa I promised him that if he was denied or if the visa process took more than 9 months than I'd move to Brazil and we'd get married and live there.

[Karen_L 1]

**Do you get mad at him/her if will go to bed late and wake up late ?

- No,no.

** Do you talk to him about his/her feelings sometimes ?

- Sure.

** How do you feel when he/she talks to his/her family more then 4 times a week? (dont think about bills because i know that will make you mad but what if he paying the bills him self )

- He talks to his family once a week, which is what he did from when he lived in Italy. Since he lived abroad from his own country (Albania) for two years before coming to the US, he was more or less used to not seeing his parents regularly, so coming here, he didn't really have to adjust in that way. I met him shortly after he arrived in Italy from Albania, and I remember he missed them a lot those first few months.

**Do you feel him/her if he wanna cry ?Do you feel when he is lonely?

- Again, since he was already living abroad, he is used to being away from his family. But the first months he was living in Italy, he missed his family a lot and we would talk about that.

**Have You ever want to surprise with something he likes to do without him asking for it?

- Yes, I do -- I try to be thoughtful and do special things for him, though I feel I sometimes fall short of the kind of thoughtful selflessness I wish I could show.

**How often you hold his/her hands ?

- Yes, very often.

**How will you feel if he/she will ask you about going back to native country?

- He doesn't really talk about going back to live in Albania, though we talk about returning to Italy a lot. As for visiting Albania, I've never been and I would love to go, and of course so would he

**does he/she get angry sometimes and mad _ how do you feel ? and how you manage to calm him/her down?

- He RARELY gets mad and when he does, 99% of the time I feel it's with good reason (i.e. he's dealt with a lot of stuff calmly before getting angry). I usually just let him be mad for those few minutes until it passes.

**Do you blame him/her for any bad financial situation caused by him/her before entering the US?

- Our financial situation is largely the result of me being fresh out of school and him being a new immigrant, so I'm making entry-level money and he's still trying to find his way in a new country. No one's FAULT; just the nature of the beast right now.

******************************Do you truely and honesly love your partners ?***********

- But, OF COURSE!

****************************Or is it because it was hard to find love in the US ****************

- Good question. To quote a very wise cartoon owl: "The world may never know..."

[msu17 0]

Good post! My fiance will be here in 1 month exactly! I am starting to feel so guilty that he is leaving the UK to be with me, so its nice to see how everyone else views the move! I've been trying to stock up on things he's said he wants etc as a "thank you for leaving your country to be with me, here's a little present" thing He's already told me that it's going to be my responsibility to keep in touch with his family, so I think if anything I'll get mad at him for not talking with them enough! I think we would definitly consider moving back to the UK. I would almost prefer it sometimes