I need guidance

[YemiO 2]

24 minutes ago, Pinkrlion said:

Have you spoken to an immigration attorney?  Infidelity is not a VAWA Case.  You may have suffered some emotional distress as a result, but that is not a VAWA Case.  

Good morning.
I have spoken to an attorney and I explained how, in addition to her infidelity, she held my case over me: manifold threats of her withdrawing her affidavit of support and how she'd call the authorities on me if I didn't cooperate.

Please let me know your thoughts. Is her infidelity, connected to her threats and ultimately tied to emotional/psychological distress grounds for VAWA?

[Pinkrlion 2,724]

10 minutes ago, YemiO said:

Good morning.
I have spoken to an attorney and I explained how, in addition to her infidelity, she held my case over me: manifold threats of her withdrawing her affidavit of support and how she'd call the authorities on me if I didn't cooperate.

Please let me know your thoughts. Is her infidelity, connected to her threats and ultimately tied to emotional/psychological distress grounds for VAWA?

USCIS does not care about Infidelity....you have to prove emotional abuse not related to infidelity.

[African Zealot 1,455]

Hit her with everything you have, ie VAWA. There is clearly some emotional abuse. It is not for us here to judge, let USCIS do that. I do think you have non zero probability of approval although it’s by no means a slam dunk. Since it looks like you want to stay, do everything you legally can to adjust successfully.

 

And don’t go back into that marriage even if she says anything about a reconciliation.

Edited July 5, 2020 by Ray.Bonaquist

[Marieke H 2,512]

2 hours ago, YemiO said:

manifold threats of her withdrawing her affidavit of support and how she'd call the authorities on me if I didn't cooperate.

Do you have any proof of this? For example, text messages, or reports from a mental health specialist about the emotional/psychological distress? Unfortunately, USCIS will not just take your word for it. 

[Calicolom 266]

3 hours ago, Pinkrlion said:

Have you spoken to an immigration attorney?  Infidelity is not a VAWA Case.  You may have suffered some emotional distress as a result, but that is not a VAWA Case.  

Getting pregnant by another man is a VAWA case. Or du you think her actions are normal.

[YemiO 2]

26 minutes ago, Calicolom said:

Getting pregnant by another man is a VAWA case. Or du you think her actions are normal.

I certainly do not think this is normal. It's totally unacceptable. I was preparing to be a father in october; Only to find out 6 months into the pregnancy that the baby isn't mine. This is the most disturbing thing I have ever had to deal with. I can't think. I do not know what to do.

I understand that the VAWA route only encompasses so much and Infidelity might not exactly be the easiest way to get justice for what she has done. Nonetheless, I don't think anyone will be blind to how emotionally draining such an experience can be. I want to stay in this country, truthfully.I'm just tired of being an object of abuse. Today she's loving me and the next she's threatening to pull the case. I'm not allowed to err; my dignity as a man to be able to speak whenever my wife is wrong is out. I can't live like this anymore.

Like  @Letspaintcookies stated, affecting a happy marriage at an interview is fraud and I don't want that either. Yet, getting conflicting ideas as to whether or not I have a case is killing me. How can I get justice cause truly, I am losing my mental functions. It's all I can think about. 

Edited July 5, 2020 by YemiO

[Allaboutwaiting 2,503]

 

3 hours ago, YemiO said:

Please let me know your thoughts. Is her infidelity, connected to her threats and ultimately tied to emotional/psychological distress grounds for VAWA?

 

Self petitioning under VAWA applies for victims of battery or extreme cruelty and requires evidence of the abuse, such as reports and affidavits from police, judges and other court officials, medical personnel, school officials, clergy, social workers, and other social service agency personnel.

Edited July 5, 2020 by Allaboutwaiting

[geowrian 22,337]

14 hours ago, Letspaintcookies said:

What you heard about is probably the 'Matter of Sesay'. The difference to your case is that the underlying petition was a I-129f for a K1 and not a I-130 that you filed. The I-129f won't get compromised by a divorce like the I-130 would and that's why it's possible to do AOS even if divorced as long as a valid I-864 exist.

 

Even if you're not divorced by the time of the interview, the person who interviews you might not be happy to hear that you're separated/ having severe problems. 

Your wife showing up and the two of you faking a happy marriage would be fraud btw so that won't be a good idea either.

^This

An I-129F is based on the fiance/fiancee relationship that resulted in a K-1 and marriage within 90 days. It is not actually based on a current marriage.

An I-130 for a spouse is based upon a current marriage. No marriage = I-130 must be revoked = I-485 must be denied.

 

Technically, if the marriage legally remains (no final divorce decree) and the I-864 is not withdrawn, AOS is still possible. Although without their appearance at the interview, even with massive evidence of a bona fide relationship, they will likely want a new I-864 from the petitioner to ensure they are still onboard with the process (plus the whole COVID thing affecting many jobs). No new I-864, no AOS. And if they do show up, they may decide to tank the interview or call you a fraud...this has happened many times. Then you're really facing an uphill battle.

 

Really, the OP's only possibly viable case at this time for AOS is VAWA.

As noted, infidelity, refusal to cooperate with your immigration path, etc. is not considered "extreme emotional abuse" for VAWA purposes. A petitioner has no obligation to continue with the process.

Note that this is different than, for example, somebody who uses lack of status to control somebody. So that part may or may not apply (but would very likely be insufficient for a successful VAWA case on its own).

 

If you want to go the VAWA route, check out the latest VAWA thread. It may not be a bad idea to seek professional assistance.

Just know that VAWA is not an easy or simple process, and can be quite expensive unless you obtain pro bono assistance or use free services outside of professional assistance.

You will very likely be essentially in limbo for another 1.5-2+ years. The end result may not be what you want...as stated, this is clearly not a VAWA case that jumps out as very likely to succeed.

Research. Ask questions. Then figure out what you want to do.

Edited July 5, 2020 by geowrian

[Pinkrlion 2,724]

1 hour ago, Calicolom said:

Getting pregnant by another man is a VAWA case. Or du you think her actions are normal.

VAWA is a defined Act.  Infidelity is not a qualifier, as cheating is not a violent act against a person.   

Edited July 5, 2020 by Pinkrlion

[YemiO 2]

1 hour ago, geowrian said:

^This

An I-129F is based on the fiance/fiancee relationship that resulted in a K-1 and marriage within 90 days. It is not actually based on a current marriage.

An I-130 for a spouse is based upon a current marriage. No marriage = I-130 must be revoked = I-485 must be denied.

 

Technically, if the marriage legally remains (no final divorce decree) and the I-864 is not withdrawn, AOS is still possible. Although without their appearance at the interview, even with massive evidence of a bona fide relationship, they will likely want a new I-864 from the petitioner to ensure they are still onboard with the process (plus the whole COVID thing affecting many jobs). No new I-864, no AOS. And if they do show up, they may decide to tank the interview or call you a fraud...this has happened many times. Then you're really facing an uphill battle.

 

Really, the OP's only possibly viable case at this time for AOS is VAWA.

As noted, infidelity, refusal to cooperate with your immigration path, etc. is not considered "extreme emotional abuse" for VAWA purposes. A petitioner has no obligation to continue with the process.

Note that this is different than, for example, somebody who uses lack of status to control somebody. So that part may or may not apply (but would very likely be insufficient for a successful VAWA case on its own).

 

If you want to go the VAWA route, check out the latest VAWA thread. It may not be a bad idea to seek professional assistance.

Just know that VAWA is not an easy or simple process, and can be quite expensive unless you obtain pro bono assistance or use free services outside of professional assistance.

You will very likely be essentially in limbo for another 1.5-2+ years. The end result may not be what you want...as stated, this is clearly not a VAWA case that jumps out as very likely to succeed.

Research. Ask questions. Then figure out what you want to do.

Thanks a lot for the insights. Really helpful feedback!

[Letspaintcookies 2,310]

3 hours ago, Calicolom said:

Getting pregnant by another man is a VAWA case. Or du you think her actions are normal.

It's definitely bad taste but not a straight VAWA case

[Sandra G. 5,048]

On 7/4/2020 at 3:28 PM, YemiO said:

I have been married to my wife for nearly three years. We put in our petition for adjustment of status last year July in Maryland, where we lived at that time -I, by the way, am the beneficiary. Shortly after I got my work authorization in November 2019, I got a job offer with PNC bank in Cleveland, OH. My wife, a native of FL, and I agreed to move to Ohio to start a new life; therefore, I decided to move to Cleveland to get a few things, including accommodation, sorted out in readiness of this new life. Thankfully, at that point we were only renting in a house so we could make relocation plans without the fear of breaking a lease and its financial implications. My wife returned to FL while I moved to Cleveland to take care of things.

I arrived Cleveland in the second week of February. I had to start with Airbnb for a few weeks, for the agreeable apartments had quite some wait time to secure a lease. I eventually signed a lease and move into my apartment on the 3rd of March, after which I transferred my case to OH. Unfortunately, however, shortly after I moved into the new apartment in March, the Covid Outbreak had hit the nation in full force. For this reason, my wife and I had to remain in our different locations; we planned to keep this up until it was viable to safely travel. Even worse, during this time, I received an interview date for my case for the 21st of  April.Shortly afterwards, my wife informed me of her being pregnant; I was overjoyed and excited at the prospect of being a father. My interview eventually got cancelled, for the pandemic. My several attempts to fly out to see my pregnant wife in FL, against all odds, were futile; more than a few airlines cancelled my flights to FL.

Worried about my pregnant wife, I called more frequently to stay connected and to reassure her she wasn't alone. However, curiously, my energy and enthusiasm for our baby weren't  matched by pregnant wife. She became elusive and less communicative; this had me really worried. For brevity, I eventually got a chance to visit my wife in FL and as usual, I planned to stay at her mum's,where I lived for 3 months when I stayed in FL in 2018, and heretofore was always welcome. Strangely enough, my wife said she was uneasy with my staying at the house. I didn't probe this any further; the last thing I wanted was to further stress a woman carrying my baby. To my point, while I was in FL, I learned I wasn't the father of the baby. My wife had complications and had to go to the hospital. I found out about my situation when my wife's ex showed up in response to my wife's contractions. 

In our three years of marriage, there have been a few issues. This isn't peculiar to my marriage, I believe. Nonetheless, one of the issues we've faced is her infidelity with her ex. Whenever I spoke, she threatened to withdraw her petition and, in fairness to her, apologize afterwards. However, this time, upon discovering this, I didn't take it easy on her. I expressed my disappointment and reported the situation to her family. This escalated into something big; so much so that, again, she said she was done and was ready to move on with her ex. " this marriage, you and your immigration. I am calling the authorities to report this marriage as fraud," she said. I didn't know what to do with a cheating wife, who was having a baby by her ex while married to me. She had aborted my own baby last year January, because she was looking to go into the military- till this day, I am still not over that. Now, she's having another man's baby? I was thrown by this incidence and had to return to Cleveland to pull myself together. 

On the 25th of June, two days after I returned to Cleveland, my case got rescheduled for an interview. My interview is a month away and my wife, not for the first time in our three years of marriage, is insistent on not showing up. She as usual, is saying she's done at this point. 

 

At the urging of a friend, I was told to seek advice on this platform to know my options. This is a legitimate marriage with enough proof of its authenticity. We've been married for nearly three years. I was never out of status and had my OPT to work with before we filed our petition. There was no urgency to file nor was I out of status and pressured to get back in good immigration standing. Additionally, a young couple, we were waiting to get settled before we filed our case: she wanted to go into the military before she eventually decided against it, at which point, we finally decided to initiate the petition.

I know this post has been long enough. I can elaborate if needed. I've been abused time and time again in this marriage. While I do still love my wife, I don't know how much more I can take. With the baby in the mix, I really don't know the fate of this marriage. Yet, I don't want to lose out of this immigration benefit; one through which I stand to get a 10-year GreenCard . I have more than enough to prove the legitimacy of this marriage.

 

I need expert advice. Please, everyone, I am pressed for time. @Stillwinning @P & Ainkrlion @sandranj

Considering your post you don't have a VAWA case, it  means you were not abused.Your marriage just failed, as USCIS says "you had an unpleasant marriage", and an unpleasant marriage is not a ground for VAWA.

[Lelyze 49]

I had somewhat similar situation and did not pursue vawa. I just received my green card.

My husband and I separated while ROC was in process. There was a lot of emotional abuse, and at one point I even had restriction order. I received my interview notice in October. I immediately filed for divorce and went to the interview with my lawyer and proof that the divorce has been filed. The officer reviewed all my documents (prepared a lot of bona fide evidence). The officer gave me RFE and 90 days to submit final divorce decree. I went to court with my RFE and requested my divorce to be expedited which was approved. I received my divorce decree and sent in my RFE. 2 months later my case was approved.

[geowrian 22,337]

12 minutes ago, Lelyze said:

I had somewhat similar situation and did not pursue vawa. I just received my green card.

My husband and I separated while ROC was in process. There was a lot of emotional abuse, and at one point I even had restriction order. I received my interview notice in October. I immediately filed for divorce and went to the interview with my lawyer and proof that the divorce has been filed. The officer reviewed all my documents (prepared a lot of bona fide evidence). The officer gave me RFE and 90 days to submit final divorce decree. I went to court with my RFE and requested my divorce to be expedited which was approved. I received my divorce decree and sent in my RFE. 2 months later my case was approved.

Sorry for the abuse you went through.

 

That said, you already had a green card. VAWA did not apply. An abuse waiver for ROC does exist, but that's separate from VAWA. And as noted, a divorce waiver generally makes more sense than an abuse waiver, unless the abuse led to being unable to obtain traditional forums of bona fide marriage evidence.

But anyway, this is a very different situation from the OP as they do not have a green card.

[Lelyze 49]

1 minute ago, geowrian said:

Sorry for the abuse you went through.

 

That said, you already had a green card. VAWA did not apply. An abuse waiver for ROC does exist, but that's separate from VAWA. And as noted, a divorce waiver generally makes more sense than an abuse waiver, unless the abuse led to being unable to obtain traditional forums of bona fide marriage evidence.

But anyway, this is a very different situation from the OP as they do not have a green card.

I just see now that the OP is going through AOS. After seeing they have been married for few years I assumed it was ROC. Thank you for clearing it out.