divorced; next steps for sponsor

[s d 4]

Your lucky she didn't pull a vawa before she divorced you

[Americansponsor 1]

22 minutes ago, s d said:

Your lucky she didn't pull a vawa before she divorced you

She threatened.

I am controlling but I never laid a hand on her.

She tried to bait me numerous times during 60 day waiting period for divorce. 

Even tried to use VAWA to blackmail me into staying married. I have some of the blackmail on audio as well.

[s d 4]

We were married six months and she made up her mind that she didn't want to be with me and didn't want to go home so she caused argument insulted me and called me names trying to bait me I didn't do nothing left house,and after I left she called police and claimed I looked at wrong and she was scared they arrested me and then got hit with two protection orders it was crazy

[Boiler 45,558]

39 minutes ago, s d said:

We were married six months and she made up her mind that she didn't want to be with me and didn't want to go home so she caused argument insulted me and called me names trying to bait me I didn't do nothing left house,and after I left she called police and claimed I looked at wrong and she was scared they arrested me and then got hit with two protection orders it was crazy

Sadly not an uncommon story,

[Americansponsor 1]

1 hour ago, s d said:

We were married six months and she made up her mind that she didn't want to be with me and didn't want to go home so she caused argument insulted me and called me names trying to bait me I didn't do nothing left house,and after I left she called police and claimed I looked at wrong and she was scared they arrested me and then got hit with two protection orders it was crazy

What I learned through this process is police will investigate a crime.

She told me there were crimes I committed (after I filed, prior to divorce, 60 day "waiting" period.

I went to police station and learned what a FOIA request is (freedom of information act) and found 1 police report she had filed which had abuse in it- however I was never investigated- because there was no crime- she can make a case to document this.

 

I made a mistake that on Aug 4 of last year she hit me- hard enough to knock me down, and in front of my two kids and her daughter, and my instinct was to leave with my sons, I never called police (big mistake, in hindsight).  Therefore I had no documentation of what she did.  That was third time she hit me, first time someone other than me knew about it.  Between Aug 4 and divorce on Dec 5 she hit me 6 more times.  I did call the police on two of them, one she left a black and blue mark on my arm, police refused to take her in, and another time the police just did not believe me and there was no evidence.

 

I also learned the level of detail needed for VAWA visa and level of detail needed for criminal charges is not the same- criminal helps VAWA but she can claim anything she wants when she files her visa, and I get no "rebuttal" or other input to situation.

 

She would post to FB groups, and those groups would advise her to fake claims, fake violence and improve VAWA case over fixing the marriage, this was a sign to me to get out.  Cost me about $40,000 for a 9 month marriage, but that is cheap relative to what she was trying to do, IMO.

[Villanelle 4,122]

14 minutes ago, Americansponsor said:

What I learned through this process is police will investigate a crime.

She told me there were crimes I committed (after I filed, prior to divorce, 60 day "waiting" period.

I went to police station and learned what a FOIA request is (freedom of information act) and found 1 police report she had filed which had abuse in it- however I was never investigated- because there was no crime- she can make a case to document this.

 

I made a mistake that on Aug 4 of last year she hit me- hard enough to knock me down, and in front of my two kids and her daughter, and my instinct was to leave with my sons, I never called police (big mistake, in hindsight).  Therefore I had no documentation of what she did.  That was third time she hit me, first time someone other than me knew about it.  Between Aug 4 and divorce on Dec 5 she hit me 6 more times.  I did call the police on two of them, one she left a black and blue mark on my arm, police refused to take her in, and another time the police just did not believe me and there was no evidence.

 

I also learned the level of detail needed for VAWA visa and level of detail needed for criminal charges is not the same- criminal helps VAWA but she can claim anything she wants when she files her visa, and I get no "rebuttal" or other input to situation.

 

She would post to FB groups, and those groups would advise her to fake claims, fake violence and improve VAWA case over fixing the marriage, this was a sign to me to get out.  Cost me about $40,000 for a 9 month marriage, but that is cheap relative to what she was trying to do, IMO.

Sorry this all happened. Its a shame you didnt post here while it was going on for advice.  I am confused about your last paragraph. When did she get her greencard? 9 months is pretty quick for it to be processed and approved but it can happen that fast. Not sure how the timeline works of her discussing fake DV claims fits in though. Once you saw that and wanted out you should have stopped the AOS process. You wouldnt be responsible under the 864 if you stopped the process. 

 

Anyway, it also seems in your divorce the 864 was brought up and thats kinda of good. If it was handled by the 864 courts it would not have an 'end payment'- the divorce court seems to have given you an end payment date. There should be language in your divorce that requires her to notify the court of when her status changes in a prompt fashion. She can not just 'forget' and keep collecting from you. For a general idea though- she can ROC at any time between the final divorce decree and the 90 day window of the card expiring. So she can wait until the card expires.You can follow along with various recent monthly filers threads on here.  It will give you an idea of how long its taking for people who filed in X month to get approved. Processing times are always changing. Currently it can take 1 to 1.5 yrs.  Does the alimony stop when she ROCs or when she becomes a citizen? 

[Americansponsor 1]

22 minutes ago, Villanelle said:

Sorry this all happened. Its a shame you didnt post here while it was going on for advice.  I am confused about your last paragraph. When did she get her greencard? 9 months is pretty quick for it to be processed and approved but it can happen that fast. Not sure how the timeline works of her discussing fake DV claims fits in though. Once you saw that and wanted out you should have stopped the AOS process. You wouldnt be responsible under the 864 if you stopped the process. 

 

Anyway, it also seems in your divorce the 864 was brought up and thats kinda of good. If it was handled by the 864 courts it would not have an 'end payment'- the divorce court seems to have given you an end payment date. There should be language in your divorce that requires her to notify the court of when her status changes in a prompt fashion. She can not just 'forget' and keep collecting from you. For a general idea though- she can ROC at any time between the final divorce decree and the 90 day window of the card expiring. So she can wait until the card expires.You can follow along with various recent monthly filers threads on here.  It will give you an idea of how long its taking for people who filed in X month to get approved. Processing times are always changing. Currently it can take 1 to 1.5 yrs.  Does the alimony stop when she ROCs or when she becomes a citizen? 

The acronyms in your post don't make sense to me

 

She only had temp green card at time of divorce

I don't know what stopping process meant- I had a divorce attorney, not an immigration attorney, so stopping process was not something I learned until I read your post.

Is 864 AOS?  yes it was brought up

divorce is a civil matter, so yes, alimony has an end date, and the amount is non modifiable- the civil judgement cannot be extended or the alimony amount changed for 18 months I have to pay.

 

I have no idea if she filed to change status and per  earlier posts in this thread, I have no idea or right to know the status of a divorce spouse immigration status.

[Boiler 45,558]

If you are interested in the process there is a lot of good information on this site, from a practical perspective it does not really make any difference to your situation. 

[TBoneTX 45,329]

1 hour ago, Americansponsor said:

acronyms

DV = domestic violence

AOS = adjustment of status (first green card)

ROC = removal of conditions (second green card)

[NikLR 13,227]

1 hour ago, Americansponsor said:

The acronyms in your post don't make sense to me

 

She only had temp green card at time of divorce

I don't know what stopping process meant- I had a divorce attorney, not an immigration attorney, so stopping process was not something I learned until I read your post.

Is 864 AOS?  yes it was brought up

divorce is a civil matter, so yes, alimony has an end date, and the amount is non modifiable- the civil judgement cannot be extended or the alimony amount changed for 18 months I have to pay.

 

I have no idea if she filed to change status and per  earlier posts in this thread, I have no idea or right to know the status of a divorce spouse immigration status.

How long did her AOS take? Most take a year.  Was there an interview? 

[Americansponsor 1]

21 minutes ago, NikLR said:

How long did her AOS take? Most take a year.  Was there an interview? 

She didn't include me in many conversations about her status.

 

She had temp green card. Interview about 4 months after arrival came in mail later.

 

[Boiler 45,558]

1 minute ago, Americansponsor said:

She didn't include me in many conversations about her status.

 

She had temp green card. Interview about 4 months after arrival came in mail later.

 

So she just has to remove conditions with a divorce waiver.

[NikLR 13,227]

So all this started after the green card or before?

[Villanelle 4,122]

19 hours ago, Americansponsor said:

She didn't include me in many conversations about her status.

 

She had temp green card. Interview about 4 months after arrival came in mail later.

 

You were married for 9 months. The first 4 she was waiting on her greencard. The last 5 she had her 2yr greencard. Right? 

 

Then you say you saw messages about her discussing VAWA and knew it was time to get out. Logically she would have been discussing VAWA prior to getting her GC because VAWA is a term people use about the process for an abuse victim to get a greencard. If you saw that prior to her getting the GC you could have withdrawn the AOS and she wouldnt have gotten the GC and there would be no 864. 

22 hours ago, Americansponsor said:

 

divorce is a civil matter, so yes, alimony has an end date, and the amount is non modifiable- the civil judgement cannot be extended or the alimony amount changed for 18 months I have to pay.

 

Does it say 18 months or does it say while she is a conditional resident? If it says 18 months then why would it matter when she removes conditions? How would that stop your payments? If it says while shes a conditional resident then that can take longer or shorter then 18 months to happen. Id be interested in the exact wording if possible.  

 

You also should be aware that she can sue you separately for support under the 864. You would have to pay her apx 1k per month to keep her at the poverty levels if she doesnt work. Those payments can be forever if she doesnt ever become a citizen.