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I'd like a new suit

By brnidokiegurl in Off Topic

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brnidokiegurl Grand Master

brnidokiegurl   0

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Morocco
 Timeline
Posted

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in

20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different Person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... A new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit"

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... Size 44 Long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit, it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and The salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see... Size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 Years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

New suit - $400 New shirt - $36 New underwear - $6 Second Opinion - PRICELESS

TIMELINE

04/04/2007 K1 Interview from H...w/the devil herself

06/12/2007 Rec'd Notification Case Now Back In Calif. only to expire

-------------

11/20/2007 Married in Morocco

02/23/2008 Mailed CR1 application today

03/08/2008 NOA1 Notice Recd (notice date 3/4/08)

08/26/2008 File transfered fr Vermont to Calif

10/14/2008 APPROVALLLLLLLLLLLL

10/20/2008 Recd hard copy NOA2

10/20/2008 NVC Recd case

11/21/2008 CASE COMPLETE

01/15/2009 INTERVIEW

01/16/2009 VISA IN HAND

01/31/2009 ARRIVED OKC

BE WHO YOU ARE AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, BECAUSE THOSE WHO MIND DONT MATTER AND THOSE WHO MATTER DONT MIND

YOU CANT CHANGE THE PAST BUT YOU CAN RUIN THE PRESENT BY WORRYING OVER THE FUTURE

TRIP.... OVER LOVE, AND YOU CAN GET UP

FALL.... IN LOVE, AND YOU FALL FOREVER

I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, JUST NOT THE ABILITY

LIKE THE MEASLES, LOVE IS MOST DANGEROUS WHEN IT COMES LATER IN LIFE

LIFE IS NOT THE WAY ITS SUPPOSED TO BE, ITS THE WAY IT IS

I MAY NOT BE WHERE I WANT TO BE BUT IM SURE NOT WHERE I WAS

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Nessa Grand Master

Nessa   23

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
 Timeline
Posted

lmao :lol::thumbs:



* K1 Timeline *
* 04/07/06: I-129F Sent to NSC
* 10/02/06: Interview date - APPROVED!
* 10/10/06: POE Houston
* 11/25/06: Wedding day!!!

* AOS/EAD/AP Timeline *
*01/05/07: AOS/EAD/AP sent
*02/19/08: AOS approved
*02/27/08: Permanent Resident Card received

* LOC Timeline *
*12/31/09: Applied Lifting of Condition
*01/04/10: NOA
*02/12/10: Biometrics
*03/03/10: LOC approved
*03/11/10: 10 years green card received

* Naturalization Timeline *
*12/17/10: package sent
*12/29/10: NOA date
*01/19/11: biometrics
*04/12/11: interview
*04/15/11: approval letter
*05/13/11: Oath Ceremony - Officially done with Immigration.

Complete Timeline

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Lance27 Proficient

Lance27   19

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted

That was fckin hillarious :D

AOS

Filled : 2007-09-17

NOA : 2007-09-25

Biometrics : 2007-12-13

EAD card prod : 2007-12-13

Job Offer : 2007-12-18

EAD card prod : 2007-12-18

EAD approved mailed : 2007-12-21

EAD in Hand : 2007-12-24 (Awesome Christmas Present)

Applied for SSN : 2007-12-26

SSN arrives in mail : 2008-01-05 (Happy New Year)

Start work :2008-01-15

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brnidokiegurl Grand Master

brnidokiegurl   0

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Morocco
 Timeline
  • Author
Posted

does kinda make ya think doesnt it

TIMELINE

04/04/2007 K1 Interview from H...w/the devil herself

06/12/2007 Rec'd Notification Case Now Back In Calif. only to expire

-------------

11/20/2007 Married in Morocco

02/23/2008 Mailed CR1 application today

03/08/2008 NOA1 Notice Recd (notice date 3/4/08)

08/26/2008 File transfered fr Vermont to Calif

10/14/2008 APPROVALLLLLLLLLLLL

10/20/2008 Recd hard copy NOA2

10/20/2008 NVC Recd case

11/21/2008 CASE COMPLETE

01/15/2009 INTERVIEW

01/16/2009 VISA IN HAND

01/31/2009 ARRIVED OKC

BE WHO YOU ARE AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, BECAUSE THOSE WHO MIND DONT MATTER AND THOSE WHO MATTER DONT MIND

YOU CANT CHANGE THE PAST BUT YOU CAN RUIN THE PRESENT BY WORRYING OVER THE FUTURE

TRIP.... OVER LOVE, AND YOU CAN GET UP

FALL.... IN LOVE, AND YOU FALL FOREVER

I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, JUST NOT THE ABILITY

LIKE THE MEASLES, LOVE IS MOST DANGEROUS WHEN IT COMES LATER IN LIFE

LIFE IS NOT THE WAY ITS SUPPOSED TO BE, ITS THE WAY IT IS

I MAY NOT BE WHERE I WANT TO BE BUT IM SURE NOT WHERE I WAS

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Sinergy Mentor

Sinergy   3

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Romania
 Timeline
Posted

:lol::lol:

and i love your caution warning LOL

vj2.jpgvj.jpg

"VJ Timelines are only an estimate, they are not actual approval dates! They only reflect VJ members. VJ Timelines do not include the thousands of applicants who do not use VJ"

IF YOU ARE NEW TO THE SITE, PLEASE READ THE GUIDES BEFORE ASKING ALOT OF QUESTIONS. THE GUIDES ARE VERY HELPFUL AND WILL SAVE YOU ALOT OF TIME!

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brnidokiegurl Grand Master

brnidokiegurl   0

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Morocco
 Timeline
  • Author
Posted
:devil::innocent: well you know i do have to be careful ;)

TIMELINE

04/04/2007 K1 Interview from H...w/the devil herself

06/12/2007 Rec'd Notification Case Now Back In Calif. only to expire

-------------

11/20/2007 Married in Morocco

02/23/2008 Mailed CR1 application today

03/08/2008 NOA1 Notice Recd (notice date 3/4/08)

08/26/2008 File transfered fr Vermont to Calif

10/14/2008 APPROVALLLLLLLLLLLL

10/20/2008 Recd hard copy NOA2

10/20/2008 NVC Recd case

11/21/2008 CASE COMPLETE

01/15/2009 INTERVIEW

01/16/2009 VISA IN HAND

01/31/2009 ARRIVED OKC

BE WHO YOU ARE AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, BECAUSE THOSE WHO MIND DONT MATTER AND THOSE WHO MATTER DONT MIND

YOU CANT CHANGE THE PAST BUT YOU CAN RUIN THE PRESENT BY WORRYING OVER THE FUTURE

TRIP.... OVER LOVE, AND YOU CAN GET UP

FALL.... IN LOVE, AND YOU FALL FOREVER

I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, JUST NOT THE ABILITY

LIKE THE MEASLES, LOVE IS MOST DANGEROUS WHEN IT COMES LATER IN LIFE

LIFE IS NOT THE WAY ITS SUPPOSED TO BE, ITS THE WAY IT IS

I MAY NOT BE WHERE I WANT TO BE BUT IM SURE NOT WHERE I WAS

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JoeMama Proficient

JoeMama   0

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Ukraine
 Timeline
Posted

My name is Joe. I was always wondering what I needed to do to get rid of this damn constant migrane! Oh yeah! I got divorced and that solved the problem! I didn't need to have my testicles removed! :lol:

Joseph

us.jpgKarolina

AOS application received Chicago - 11/12/2007

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natty bumppo Grand Master

natty bumppo   289

Posted
Filed: Country: Brazil
 Timeline
Posted
My name is Joe. I was always wondering what I needed to do to get rid of this damn constant migrane! Oh yeah! I got divorced and that solved the problem! I didn't need to have my testicles removed! :lol:

Bet it fixed other problems too ... :thumbs:

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JoeMama Proficient

JoeMama   0

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Ukraine
 Timeline
Posted
My name is Joe. I was always wondering what I needed to do to get rid of this damn constant migrane! Oh yeah! I got divorced and that solved the problem! I didn't need to have my testicles removed! :lol:

Bet it fixed other problems too ... :thumbs:

You got that one right! Life became easier and the excessive credit debt went with her!

fonzi.jpg

Focking A!!!!!!!

Joseph

us.jpgKarolina

AOS application received Chicago - 11/12/2007

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dalegg Experienced

dalegg   143

Posted
Filed: Country: Vietnam
 Timeline
Posted
My name is Joe. I was always wondering what I needed to do to get rid of this damn constant migrane! Oh yeah! I got divorced and that solved the problem! I didn't need to have my testicles removed! :lol:

Bet it fixed other problems too ... :thumbs:

You got that one right! Life became easier and the excessive credit debt went with her!

fonzi.jpg

Focking A!!!!!!!

:dance: Do you mind if I share this dance?

20-July -03 Meet Nicole

17-May -04 Divorce Final. I-129F submitted to USCIS

02-July -04 NOA1

30-Aug -04 NOA2 (Approved)

13-Sept-04 NVC to HCMC

08-Oc t -04 Pack 3 received and sent

15-Dec -04 Pack 4 received.

24-Jan-05 Interview----------------Passed

28-Feb-05 Visa Issued

06-Mar-05 ----Nicole is here!!EVERYBODY DANCE!

10-Mar-05 --US Marriage

01-Nov-05 -AOS complete

14-Nov-07 -10 year green card approved

12-Mar-09 Citizenship Oath Montebello, CA

May '04- Mar '09! The 5 year journey is complete!

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