How are y'all coping during these times?

[At175 12]

Hello friends,

I hope everyone is doing well during these turbulent times. I guess I just wanted to write to ask how you all are dealing and coping with waiting for the approvals. I have been having a really hard time myself, maybe because I have an anxious personality. I check the news everyday and check the VJ website and service center progress everyday. With the USCIS furlough news I have been even worse. Unfortunately, during these times I don't have a job, so it makes it even harder not to pay attention to these things. I guess I am wondering how you all are coping with this? What do you do to feel better while waiting for the responses? Maybe we, internet strangers, can help each other during these hard times. Especially knowing that we are all going through the same process. 

Thank you

[Tschuulia 28]

Hi there.

same here, i got laid off end of march and just got my job back with a bunch of hoping and praying! 
 

but im as well a super anxious person since i had to leave my husband last year after only 8 -10 months of knowing because my aupair year ended.

he's not coping very well and just decided to quit his Job looking for something new. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
so now we're in a misery, both mentally not functioning and trying to get him back on a job. 
its not fun at all. 
so i can understand how terrible people feel 

[At175 12]

9 minutes ago, Tschuulia said:

Hi there.

same here, i got laid off end of march and just got my job back with a bunch of hoping and praying! 
 

but im as well a super anxious person since i had to leave my husband last year after only 8 -10 months of knowing because my aupair year ended.

he's not coping very well and just decided to quit his Job looking for something new. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
so now we're in a misery, both mentally not functioning and trying to get him back on a job. 
its not fun at all. 
so i can understand how terrible people feel 

Ah no, I am sorry you have to deal with all this. Hopefully your husband finds a job soon! 

I feel you on the whole anxiety though. I feel like this process is not made for super anxious people haha. Hopefully we will be done soon and will be reunited with the loved ones. 

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

#1 rule stop watching the news. That’s a given for anyone but especially for someone with an anxious personality-it makes things worse. Also stop checking the processing times daily- they aren’t going to change much and will make you more anxious. Tell yourself you will check it once a week. Try to find a job to keep you busy (think grocery stores, Amazon, etc), start or a continue a hobby to keep you busy, go for walks or get your place ready for when your husband comes.

[Pats5415 97]

2 hours ago, kt175 said:

Hello friends,

I hope everyone is doing well during these turbulent times. I guess I just wanted to write to ask how you all are dealing and coping with waiting for the approvals. I have been having a really hard time myself, maybe because I have an anxious personality. I check the news everyday and check the VJ website and service center progress everyday. With the USCIS furlough news I have been even worse. Unfortunately, during these times I don't have a job, so it makes it even harder not to pay attention to these things. I guess I am wondering how you all are coping with this? What do you do to feel better while waiting for the responses? Maybe we, internet strangers, can help each other during these hard times. Especially knowing that we are all going through the same process. 

Thank you

I am a very anxious person, and i do all the stuff you do with checking on every single update. It's hard not to check the news, and progress everyday with USCIS but i would have to agree with @Luckycuds. You are better off staying off the news, looking for updates everyday and limit to once a week (i need to do that myself). These are very stressful times and i do not have the best coping skills but we all have to try to hang in there. 

[Stein 276]

When I decided to start this journey I made the decision to move to live with my wife and her daughter before we married and would remain by her side until the visa was issued.  It allowed me to get her daughter into English school and a good Vietnamese school to help her prepare for the move to the US.  It's difficult enough for an adult.  It's more difficult for a young teenager who doesn't have any control or decision making power.  We have grown together and to see her English progress has been wonderful.  Had I just stayed at home in the US I am confident that she would not be as well prepared for what is to come.  Her mom really isn't excited about moving away from her family and to the US but she acknowledges that it is the best for her daughter to graduate from a school and college in the US.

 

The COVID thing has been a complete non-issue in Vietnam.  They locked the borders down tight very early on and their contract tracing was aggressive.  Total number of cases to date is 342.  325 have been released from the hospital with only 17 remaining.  Zero COVID deaths country-wide.  It's been 61 days since a community spread case anywhere in the country.  Half of the 342 cases were brought in and caught in the 14 day quarantine from Vietnames citizens being repatriated from other countries.  It's truly the safest place in the world and I'm happy to be here right now.

 

After their visas are approved we will stay in the US for around 4 years until they both get their citizenship and then her daughter will go off to college and my wife and I will move again, spending half of the year in the winter in Vietnam and half of the year "somewhere" in the US or Canada in the summer.  Winter in Vietnam is 80* every day and no rain from November until May.  Literally, maybe one or two sprinkles in 6 months.  Now, we are in the rainy season and it goes from zero to rain pretty much every day through October.  We bought a farm in Vietnam and will have a house there on the lake and a house in Ho Chi Minh City and then we will have a house somewhere in US or Canada, also likely on a lake somewhere.

 

So I've been happy with how this whole process has played out.  I'm at NVC in 10 months after filing so even after the COVID delay for interviews we are still on track for "normal processing".  I really don't care if we are delayed for the interview until January since we are planning to move to the US in June 2021 after her daughter finishes the school year.  Theat leaves us three months to settle in my current house and look for a new house in the city we plan to live long term as there is a large Vietnamese population there and they will acclimate quickly.