I need help ASAP

[Debzib88 85]

I need help!! I want to go home. My husband is abusive towards me and it’s getting worse since our son has been born. I thought I married the man of my dreams. But it turns out I married a monster. How do I go home to the Uk. I feel so alone. I don’t have any family or friends out here. I left my job to stay at home with the baby so he could work full tome so I’m fully dependent on him. I’m too scared to call the police. I don’t want to be in a homeless shelter. Please don’t be cruel  I need the support right now 

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

I would say to book a ticket and fly home but I think that might fall under kidnapping if you take the child without his permission. Is he physically abusive? You do not have to be scared to call police that is what they are there for. You can’t be kicked out of your house. Do you have anyone here you can stay with? If there wasn’t a child involved you could fly home and file for divorce there - I hope someone can chime in with what to do when a kid is involved. Good luck- I hope someone can provide better advice.

Edited June 6, 2020 by Luckycuds

[Sarah_k92 112]

47 minutes ago, Debzib88 said:

I need help!! I want to go home. My husband is abusive towards me and it’s getting worse since our son has been born. I thought I married the man of my dreams. But it turns out I married a monster. How do I go home to the Uk. I feel so alone. I don’t have any family or friends out here. I left my job to stay at home with the baby so he could work full tome so I’m fully dependent on him. I’m too scared to call the police. I don’t want to be in a homeless shelter. Please don’t be cruel  I need the support right now 

From a UKer to a UKer, I found this for you... https://www.uscis.gov/archive/archive-news/information-legal-rights-available-immigrant-victims-domestic-violence-united-states-and-facts-about-immigrating-a-marriage-based-visa-fact-sheet

I’m not entirely sure of your situation but there is definitely some hotline numbers you can call and maybe guide you on your next steps. Give it a read and do not be afraid to reach out for help. If you need any other information. Just reach out. Don’t feel like you are alone in this. 

[Allaboutwaiting 2,503]

You might already have this link, but here's the website for the domestic violence services in your state. 

https://www.dshs.wa.gov/esa/community-services-offices/domestic-violence-services

[aaron2020 11,651]

Hi,

 

Sorry that you are in an abusive relationship.  You can go home by simply hopping on a plane.  You can not take your baby with you since it would be without the father's permission and you will be prosecuted for international parental kidnapping.  You need to call the police.  You need to make sure that you and your baby are safe.  

I'm sorry.

[Debzib88 85]

I’m not leaving without my son. I’ll find a way

[geowrian 22,337]

First step is to make sure you're safe. Seek a local women's shelter and/or church group for assistance there.

 

As suggested above, you cannot take the child back to the UK (or anywhere) without his consent or a court order. That would be international child abduction, and not something you want to get involved with.

[igoyougoduke 1,656]

2 hours ago, Debzib88 said:

I need help!! I want to go home. My husband is abusive towards me and it’s getting worse since our son has been born. I thought I married the man of my dreams. But it turns out I married a monster. How do I go home to the Uk. I feel so alone. I don’t have any family or friends out here. I left my job to stay at home with the baby so he could work full tome so I’m fully dependent on him. I’m too scared to call the police. I don’t want to be in a homeless shelter. Please don’t be cruel  I need the support right now 

dont think there is any other way other than calling the police and get a court order to take the child with you.  Make sure you have enough documentation to convince the court .

[aaron2020 11,651]

10 minutes ago, Debzib88 said:

I’m not leaving without my son. I’ll find a way

The only way you can legally take the child with you is either with the father's permission or a court order allowing you to take the child.

[Phunky38927 24]

Here’s what I would do... 

Make a plan safely to escape to the UK with child before leaving I would file a protective order therefore he cannot come after you or the child And it shows you aren’t guilty of kidnapping internationally without a court order you are pretty much screwed reach out to the hot lines as I know there are plenty in the states and most importantly don’t be ashamed to seek out help even if it means the law gets involved 

good luck and I am sorry for your situation ❤️

[geowrian 22,337]

4 minutes ago, kristinaax03225 said:

Here’s what I would do... 

Make a plan safely to escape to the UK with child before leaving I would file a protective order therefore he cannot come after you or the child And it shows you aren’t guilty of kidnapping internationally without a court order

A protective order / TRO is not a court order allowing you to take a child to live in another country.

Doing this could result in very severe criminal consequences. The child needs a good parent...not an abusive one or one in jail.

[Phunky38927 24]

4 minutes ago, geowrian said:

A protective order / TRO is not a court order allowing you to take a child to live in another country.

Doing this could result in very severe criminal consequences. The child needs a good parent...not an abusive one or one in jail.

However, a protective order would keep the abuser away while she seeks out help in the states correct? 
Regardless of the process she should seek out some help thru hotlines who can guide her better than people on a forum

 

[geowrian 22,337]

2 minutes ago, kristinaax03225 said:

However, a protective order would keep the abuser away while she seeks out help in the states correct? 
Regardless of the process she should seek out some help thru hotlines who can guide her better than people on a forum

Yes, a TRO would be a good idea (once they have found somewhere to safely reside, of course...safety is always first). A TRO does not ensure somebody's safety, but it is one of the measures to try to keep somebody away due to the criminal consequences of violating it.

Yup, offline help is certainly going to be needed. I think the OP needs information on how to reach somebody who can assist them offline. 👍

[aaron2020 11,651]

41 minutes ago, kristinaax03225 said:

Here’s what I would do... 

Make a plan safely to escape to the UK with child before leaving I would file a protective order therefore he cannot come after you or the child And it shows you aren’t guilty of kidnapping internationally without a court order you are pretty much screwed reach out to the hot lines as I know there are plenty in the states and most importantly don’t be ashamed to seek out help even if it means the law gets involved 

good luck and I am sorry for your situation ❤️

OMG.  You are literally advising her to commit international parental kidnapping.  This is horrible advice.

A protective order prevents him from contacting her or coming near her.  It does not allow her to take the child to the UK.  

[Phunky38927 24]

Just now, aaron2020 said:

OMG.  You are literally advising her to commit international parental kidnapping.  This is horrible advice.

A protective order prevents him from contacting her or coming near her.  It does not allow her to take the child to the UK.  

Again...I did not realize that hence why I said in another post I asked if  it would help while she is in the USA. I would never advise anybody to commit an illegal act but, she should seek out protection while she is in the states until she figures out how to take her child and herself safely back to her home. 
however, I also believe she should seek out help thru hotlines, free legal aid in her city and other resources meant to help people that are victims of domestic violence and other crimes.

I hope the OP gets the help she needs and realizes she isn’t the only one who has been in her situation.

blessings