'Stop treating him like your child': Doting wife is slammed by strangers for packing her tradesman husband's lunch before work every morning

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

25 minutes ago, Voice of Reason said:

The love and appreciation of certain groups of women simply rises to the top, like cream on milk.  I consider myself very fortunate to have experienced it, albeit rather later in life.

This is so very true

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

1 hour ago, yuna628 said:

Making his favorite this evening with plenty leftovers. He'll be a happy man for lunch the rest of the week.

Would they object to the husband bringing his wife breakfast in bed every day, I wonder?

Lucky man!

 

Or opening doors for them?

[laylalex 7,300]

3 hours ago, Randyandyuni said:

Lol still trying to figure out why 

I ask myself this all the time. I was the one that got away for him, and vice versa, but coming back together when circumstances allowed us wasn't a straightforward thing. I was gunshy and nervous about making mistakes with someone I love as much as I love him. I pulled him closer to me then pushed him away when I thought I didn't deserve him. He was patient and gave me the space to figure it out, and never stopped loving me. I will be eternally grateful for his understanding and kindness, and for never forcing the point. And I like to think I show my gratitude and love every day by being attentive to his needs without losing sight of my own. He's really the best.

[Merle 458]

On 5/27/2020 at 5:28 AM, Dashinka said:

My wife makes a very delicious plov (pilaf to some) which has become a staple lunch dish for me.  Other than her making the dish, the lunch packing is up to me.

I have plov about once a week for lunch. Actually had it today. My wife's recipe has changed over the years. She uses ground sausage instead of chicken. 

Edited May 29, 2020 by Merle

[Orangesapples 1,954]

On 5/27/2020 at 8:34 AM, yuna628 said:

 

Would they object to the husband bringing his wife breakfast in bed every day, I wonder?

I don't get why the comparison is not just the husband packing the wife's lunches? 

 

If both people work, then making food is a shared responsibility obviously. If only one person works, then the non working spouse might be doing more of the cooking but the working one can still take care of themselves. It's not that hard. 

 

My spouse and I both cook when we feel like it, we help each other out, if he wants to take it to work, then he does but he usually works from home anyway. I make my own lunches often because I count calories and he doesn't want to eat those meals. No biggie. 

[yuna628 9,713]

36 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

I don't get why the comparison is not just the husband packing the wife's lunches? 

 

If both people work, then making food is a shared responsibility obviously. If only one person works, then the non working spouse might be doing more of the cooking but the working one can still take care of themselves. It's not that hard. 

 

My spouse and I both cook when we feel like it, we help each other out, if he wants to take it to work, then he does but he usually works from home anyway. I make my own lunches often because I count calories and he doesn't want to eat those meals. No biggie. 

I think you might miss the point that many women make their husband's lunches not because they are both working or one is not working, or because of what they are capable of, but because they love their husbands and enjoy showing them appreciation. My husband is capable of making his own lunches though he can be forgetful at times (he's a busy a guy) but I don't mind doing it for him, making sure he has something good to eat, and he leaves with a kiss and a smile on his face each day. Similarly, my husband has brought me breakfast in bed almost every day for five years. He enjoys doing so. People that love each other do things for one another to show they care. I can make my own breakfast, he can make his own lunch but this kind arrangement works for us. We are too quick as a society to jump down each other's throats and tell a woman what she can and cannot do within her own marriage so long as both parties are in happy agreement. It is not beneath a woman to make her husband lunch and it is not beneath a husband to help out at home, make a wife breakfast, or any other activities to show he cares.

[Orangesapples 1,954]

32 minutes ago, yuna628 said:

I think you might miss the point that many women make their husband's lunches not because they are both working or one is not working, or because of what they are capable of, but because they love their husbands and enjoy showing them appreciation. My husband is capable of making his own lunches though he can be forgetful at times (he's a busy a guy) but I don't mind doing it for him, making sure he has something good to eat, and he leaves with a kiss and a smile on his face each day. Similarly, my husband has brought me breakfast in bed almost every day for five years. He enjoys doing so. People that love each other do things for one another to show they care. I can make my own breakfast, he can make his own lunch but this kind arrangement works for us. We are too quick as a society to jump down each other's throats and tell a woman what she can and cannot do within her own marriage so long as both parties are in happy agreement. It is not beneath a woman to make her husband lunch and it is not beneath a husband to help out at home, make a wife breakfast, or any other activities to show he cares.

Husbands don't help out at home, they live at home and it's just as much their responsibility to do the chores as it is their wife's. Calling men doing housework "helping out" is not right. It implies that housework is women's responsibility which it is not. 

 

It's not beneath either spouse to make each other food (breakfast, lunch or dinner) as a sign of love. My husband often likes to cook for us and I eat it even if the meal is way out of my caloric goals. And yes, it's a sign of love. I also make his favorite food as a sign of love. And we also cook as a matter of necessity. Cooking is not a gendered activity. 

[Lil bear 4,329]

On 5/26/2020 at 1:02 PM, TBoneTX said:

Two construction workers brought their lunches and ate together every day.  One would open the lid of his lunchpail and peer inside expectantly at his sandwiches, but his face would always fall and he'd mutter, "Nuts -- peanut butter again."

 

This went on for several weeks, and finally his buddy asked, "If you're so sick of peanut butter, why don't you ask your wife to make you something different for a change?"

 

"Oh, I'm not married," said the first.  "I make these at home every morning, myself."

And oldie but still a good one ! 

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

38 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

Husbands don't help out at home, they live at home and it's just as much their responsibility to do the chores as it is their wife's. Calling men doing housework "helping out" is not right. It implies that housework is women's responsibility which it is not. 

 

It's not beneath either spouse to make each other food (breakfast, lunch or dinner) as a sign of love. My husband often likes to cook for us and I eat it even if the meal is way out of my caloric goals. And yes, it's a sign of love. I also make his favorite food as a sign of love. And we also cook as a matter of necessity. Cooking is not a gendered activity. 

Housework is the responsibility of the one who works in the house.  I help out at home whenever I feel inspired or if asked for help.  That's just the way it is.  I never ask my wife to help me out at work, so it's pretty fair and balanced.

Edited June 1, 2020 by Voice of Reason

[Neonred 3,647]

2 hours ago, Orangesapples said:

I don't get why the comparison is not just the husband packing the wife's lunches? 

 

If both people work, then making food is a shared responsibility obviously. If only one person works, then the non working spouse might be doing more of the cooking but the working one can still take care of themselves. It's not that hard. 

 

My spouse and I both cook when we feel like it, we help each other out, if he wants to take it to work, then he does but he usually works from home anyway. I make my own lunches often because I count calories and he doesn't want to eat those meals. No biggie. 

I make my wife a breakfast and lunch everyday before we head off to the office.  Mostly because she is always running late, and if I don't, she will be a witch to live with!

[Ban Hammer 13,550]

48 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

 Cooking is not a gendered activity. 

nor is mowing the yard, changing a tire/oil, and having firearm knowledge for defense of the homestead.

[Orangesapples 1,954]

7 minutes ago, Voice of Reason said:

Housework is the responsibility of the one who works in the house.  I help out at home whenever I feel inspired or if asked for help.  That's just the way it is.  I never ask my wife to help me out at work, so it's pretty fair and balanced.

Housework and childcare never end unlike a regular job. I know my boss for example does just as much work as his wife after he's home (making dinner for example) because they both have been at work all day, him at the office, her with the kids. 

 

[Orangesapples 1,954]

2 minutes ago, Ban Hammer said:

nor is mowing the yard, changing a tire/oil, and having firearm knowledge for defense of the homestead.

Glad we agree on something. Although I would never approve a firearm at home obviously and the last thing I want is a yard that needs mowing. Grass yards are overrated. And changing the oil is done at the car service center. 

Edited June 1, 2020 by Orangesapples

[yuna628 9,713]

45 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

Husbands don't help out at home, they live at home and it's just as much their responsibility to do the chores as it is their wife's. Calling men doing housework "helping out" is not right. It implies that housework is women's responsibility which it is not. 

 

It's not beneath either spouse to make each other food (breakfast, lunch or dinner) as a sign of love. My husband often likes to cook for us and I eat it even if the meal is way out of my caloric goals. And yes, it's a sign of love. I also make his favorite food as a sign of love. And we also cook as a matter of necessity. Cooking is not a gendered activity. 

Good, i'm glad it's not beneath. But some do act like it is. In my opinion though ''helping out'' is a fine enough term for me. Because that's what he's doing 'helping out'. I'm in charge of the house because that's my job and therefore most of those duties fall to me, as he's busy doing his job. That doesn't mean it's an excuse to be lazy and not 'help out' when he's needed to or when he kindly offers. It is my responsibility because it is the job that I chose to do and if not done it would certainly be disastrous. My argument is it is not appropriate to badger other women what they do and do not enjoy doing within the confines of their home and marriage especially if it is a consensual decision. If a woman chooses to take on any role within her home either solely or with a partnered decision with their spouse it is their choice alone. The patriarchy does not decide it for me. I doubt the woman in the article appreciated being badgered about her expression of love. There is nothing in the implication of the word "housework" that implies it is a gendered role specifically for women. There are single fathers and stay-at-home fathers that bust their butt in the same role every day. It is only society's prejudice to view the term in a 'traditional gendered' sense that attempts to place each woman in a box that chooses this role. If a woman is forced into such a role then we should be critical otherwise, I think we do damage to ourselves.

[Ban Hammer 13,550]

13 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

Glad we agree on something. Although I would never approve a firearm at home obviously and the last thing I want is a yard that needs mowing. Grass yards are overrated. And changing the oil is done at the car service center. 

doesn't sound like much agreement, given what you said later.