Divorcing an abusive husband

[marianava 7]

A few months ago I wrote a post about my problem with my husband that he was abusing me and trying to deport me,

since then I left, changed my address online and I received my SSN and GC, my husband doesn't know that, he still thinks he will be receiving them and that there's a delay due to Covid 19. he keeps texting me and saying that he will not give them to me and that he will do everything to deport me .

Now I am trying to get a divorce but the problem is that they require me to put my address and SSN on the forms and I definitely don't want my husband to have this information.

I searched on google but I couldn't find an answer to this, is there a way to keep this information out of the divorce forms?

  

[Nitas_man 3,100]

Advice:  Save every text and every threat and add an application for a permanent restraining order to the petition.

 

I don’t remember having to put a personal address on a divorce petition.  The address is the attorney’s address for the court or the respondent to send or receive  papers or correspondence.

[marianava 7]

3 minutes ago, Nitas_man said:

Advice:  Save every text and every threat and add an application for a permanent restraining order to the petition.

 

I don’t remember having to put a personal address on a divorce petition.  The address is the attorney’s address for the court or the respondent to send or receive  papers or correspondence.

I am doing it myself and I have to put my address and SSN

[MrHanky 1,377]

Since you're filing against him and if he is the bread winner, you may be able to get your fees covered by him.

A lawyer would be able to tell you.

But yes keep record of everything and maybe go by a prescient and see what you can do as file as filing reports and see what advice they give you.

[marianava 7]

1 minute ago, MrHanky said:

Since you're filing against him and if he is the bread winner, you may be able to get your fees covered by him.

A lawyer would be able to tell you.

But yes keep record of everything and maybe go by a prescient and see what you can do as file as filing reports and see what advice they give you.

I really don't want to spend money on a lawyer...

Can I use a Po Box instead? 

[Hawksquill 151]

1 hour ago, marianava said:

I really don't want to spend money on a lawyer...

Can I use a Po Box instead? 

If you can't afford a lawyer, you can see if there's a law school near you that has a legal clinic, which are often very affordable.  I'm not sure if these have gone remote or not, but it's worth a shot.  Because you are a victim of domestic violence, you can probably also find legal aid charities that will give you free or affordable legal assistance. 

 

I'm not a lawyer, but getting a PO box sounds like a good way to prevent him from getting your address, unless the form specifies that it needs to be a physical address or a residential address.  If it's asking for your SSN and you already have one, I wouldn't advise that you leave that info off the form.  He'll find out that you already got your SSN eventually, and assuming you are physically safe and you keep your card safe (consider getting a safe deposit box at a bank, or a safe for your home, perhaps?) there's not much he can do to take them away from you now.

 

And yes, document the threats!  And if you feel threatened or unsafe please get help. 

Edited May 18, 2020 by Hawksquill

[MrHanky 1,377]

3 hours ago, marianava said:

I really don't want to spend money on a lawyer...

Can I use a Po Box instead? 

consultations are free, get 1 or 2 and talk to your local police precinct.

 

Don't get a PO Box without knowing that it's a doable solution.

[marianava 7]

6 hours ago, Hawksquill said:

If you can't afford a lawyer, you can see if there's a law school near you that has a legal clinic, which are often very affordable.  I'm not sure if these have gone remote or not, but it's worth a shot.  Because you are a victim of domestic violence, you can probably also find legal aid charities that will give you free or affordable legal assistance. 

 

I'm not a lawyer, but getting a PO box sounds like a good way to prevent him from getting your address, unless the form specifies that it needs to be a physical address or a residential address.  If it's asking for your SSN and you already have one, I wouldn't advise that you leave that info off the form.  He'll find out that you already got your SSN eventually, and assuming you are physically safe and you keep your card safe (consider getting a safe deposit box at a bank, or a safe for your home, perhaps?) there's not much he can do to take them away from you now.

 

And yes, document the threats!  And if you feel threatened or unsafe please get help. 

I am not afraid he is going to take my SSN card away from me, I am worried he might use it somehow to get me into trouble out of revenge.

[Nitas_man 3,100]

10 hours ago, marianava said:

I really don't want to spend money on a lawyer...

Can I use a Po Box instead? 

You have to provide a physical address for service.

 

Using someone’s SS number 

10 hours ago, marianava said:

I am doing it myself and I have to put my address and SSN

Leave the SS number blank and file it

 

Edited May 18, 2020 by Nitas_man

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

@marianava The guy seems like a nightmare and will do anything in his power to defamation of your character. It may be in your best interest to find a lawyer- Unsure what state you are in but as long as you aren't in the middle of no where I'm sure you will find someone that will take on your case for free or cheap. I would recommend using google and finding a university or a nonprofit that works with victims of domestic abuse. It truly sounds like he will lawyer up quick with of course someone shady and do all in his power to make himself look like the victim and you as the ungrateful - green card using immigrant. Good luck and please consider looking for pro bono help. They ARE out there! 

[Sparkle Sparkle 914]

The use of another persons SSN is punishable by law, fear nothing as you have been advised above.

Let him bear his heart and threats our ...But do save all that text!

File your divorce if that is the direction you still want to go.

 

You can also fill in every other detail i.e Name DOB, use c/o (You can use the address of a friend you trust just put c/c the persons names and address)  send it to him to fill his details and return it to you before you put in your SSN that is if he is being cooperative.

 

Dont bother trying to get him to pay for the divorce, seek only for his signature on the necessary forms...you need to get away from that sort of man fast! they can be very vengeful  

[marianava 7]

1 hour ago, Luckycuds said:

@marianava The guy seems like a nightmare and will do anything in his power to defamation of your character. It may be in your best interest to find a lawyer- Unsure what state you are in but as long as you aren't in the middle of no where I'm sure you will find someone that will take on your case for free or cheap. I would recommend using google and finding a university or a nonprofit that works with victims of domestic abuse. It truly sounds like he will lawyer up quick with of course someone shady and do all in his power to make himself look like the victim and you as the ungrateful - green card using immigrant. Good luck and please consider looking for pro bono help. They ARE out there! 

he wont do that, he has no money

[marianava 7]

1 hour ago, Sparkle Sparkle said:

The use of another persons SSN is punishable by law, fear nothing as you have been advised above.

Let him bear his heart and threats our ...But do save all that text!

File your divorce if that is the direction you still want to go.

 

You can also fill in every other detail i.e Name DOB, use c/o (You can use the address of a friend you trust just put c/c the persons names and address)  send it to him to fill his details and return it to you before you put in your SSN that is if he is being cooperative.

 

Dont bother trying to get him to pay for the divorce, seek only for his signature on the necessary forms...you need to get away from that sort of man fast! they can be very vengeful  

I'm not trying to get anything from him.

I printed out the forms and the SSN numbers are on the final judgment, so he will get that at the end with my ssn all over it. this is what I am trying to avoid, I will use my friends address.

[marianava 7]

9 hours ago, Nitas_man said:

You have to provide a physical address for service.

 

Using someone’s SS number 

Leave the SS number blank and file it

 

Pretty sure that's illegal. 

[Sarge2155 4,587]

In this day and age if a person is determined enough there is little that can be done to prevent a determined person from getting your SSN and or address especially if you are married to that person. All you can do is document document and hope for the best.