I NEED HELP - AM NEW TO VISA JOURNEY

[Gec 0]

Hi everyone...

Am Dec from Ghana... Got married to a US citizen in 2018 October in Ghana , got to the USA early January 2020.. And now my wife has given me 30days to move out from the House. 

 

I love her soo much....Its all started when i got here..my wife snores very loud and even when you at the couch relaxing..u can hear her snore from the bedroom ..which have recorded number of her snores for her to listen to it...and she  felt soo bad abt it...i told hear...she should not worried..we gonna see the doctor after the lockdown and see know the way forward. - so because of her snore i applied for midnight job which we all agree to it.....  start work at 7pm to 6am..work 3days in week or sometimes 4days (so she can sleep peaceful for me not disturb her..- because am always awake whiles she is sleep and she feels bad...but i can't help it ..i cant sleep because of her snore)._- when she came to Ghana. She never snores like that.---  The only time i sleep is when she is up in the morning, ever since i step foot in the USA...In All this , i never told her i Want any break up or divorce because i believe we can solve this issue...marriage takes alot of patients and hardworking......my work is such that..we unload long trucks and stocks items in the factory...and after closing from work..., most atimes i walk home.  20min walk...she told me she can't pick me back to back..because she need to rest...well i told her..am cool with that. I will walk home - bus don't run that lane....so i always walk home....i got employed in March.. 

 

I normal get 3days off...and i make sure we spend some time indoors..like watching tele together..cooking for her most atimes..because she does not know how to cook..i do most of the cooking and wash the plates..we go 50/50 on bills since i came...but because of the lockdown.. Most offices are closed so i don't have any of my name on any bills for now..we planned doing that when the lockdown is lifted...So most often, She used my bank card to pay half of the bills and all that shows is the receipt i get from the bank informing me u card has been used to pay your this amount for ur rent or DTE.. Some time ago.....i try to sleeping in the sitting room because i needed rest badly and she was snoring loud...so i walk out quietly to go get some sleep...as soon as i walk to sitting room...she came to warn me..if i keep sleeping in the couch... Then we have to divorce.. She got mad and went back to sleep...i have no other option than to go back and sleep by her side ... I went back to bedroom and she sack me to go back..i slept in the couch for 3days... With all this body pains... I never told anyone...because is all about sacrifice... I have try to sleep with the ear piece, we bought nostil trips..we have try different method-  but did not work...And we all know..if one dont sleep during the night...they wake up not functioning well... Thats what is happening to me now.. anytime i want to sleep whiles she is awake..she gets upset and tells me...all i do is sleep during the day...and i told her..because i dont sleep during the night... And its affect me during the day time..and i must go work in the night too... When i look at me in mirror i can see something is not right with my face... My eyes always red.. - the issue is  when am off and even at home....i cant sleep during the night...am always up listen to her snoring ...and she goes of the mood when am about to have 6 to 7 sleep during the day....Now she want me out the house...Given 30days to get a place to sleep....and this is the fourth time she is using the word divorce in any situation that comes up

 

Now i don't even know what to do...i explain it to my boss at work...and he told me to file a report to the police department and tell them this is what am facing at home and show them the text message that says she want me out of the house.. 

 

Am just lost in this country....have no friends or knows nobody around...hmmmm

[milimelo 4,486]

Figure out who’s filing for divorce and get divorced. You have a job so getting an apartment shouldn’t be a problem. File for removal of conditions either when divorce is finalized or when you’re in the 90 day period of 2-yr green card expiring. 

if you’re uncertain how things work and what your rights are, read the USCIS booklet titled Now that you’re a permanent resident. 

[Ryan H 3,812]

Moved from IR-1/CR-1 Progress Reports to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits forum.

[Pinkrlion 2,724]

This is not an immigration issue, you need to go to marriage counseling. Look at it like this, u got a night job so u won't be at home with her, u don't sleep in the bed with her, she is feeling rejected by u so she made a decision that is not going to live with rejection. 

 

There is nothing in her text that u can call the police about. Either get counseling or leave. 

[Gec 0]

1 minute ago, Pinkrlion said:

This is not an immigration issue, you need to go to marriage counseling. Look at it like this, u got a night job so u won't be at home with her, u don't sleep in the bed with her, she is feeling rejected by u so she made a decision that is not going to live with rejection. 

 

There is nothing in her text that u can call the police about. Either get counseling or leave. 

Its was not my intention to get a night job... We both agreed to that.. More over .. No matter what.. I Make all effort to stay in bed with her...untill next morning without me sleeping.. What if am also working in the morning...how can i get my sleep ... In all i never ask for divorce

[Mavan 38]

1 hour ago, Gec said:

Hi everyone...

Am Dec from Ghana... Got married to a US citizen in 2018 October in Ghana , got to the USA early January 2020.. And now my wife has given me 30days to move out from the House. 

 

I love her soo much....Its all started when i got here..my wife snores very loud and even when you at the couch relaxing..u can hear her snore from the bedroom ..which have recorded number of her snores for her to listen to it...and she  felt soo bad abt it...i told hear...she should not worried..we gonna see the doctor after the lockdown and see know the way forward. - so because of her snore i applied for midnight job which we all agree to it.....  start work at 7pm to 6am..work 3days in week or sometimes 4days (so she can sleep peaceful for me not disturb her..- because am always awake whiles she is sleep and she feels bad...but i can't help it ..i cant sleep because of her snore)._- when she came to Ghana. She never snores like that.---  The only time i sleep is when she is up in the morning, ever since i step foot in the USA...In All this , i never told her i Want any break up or divorce because i believe we can solve this issue...marriage takes alot of patients and hardworking......my work is such that..we unload long trucks and stocks items in the factory...and after closing from work..., most atimes i walk home.  20min walk...she told me she can't pick me back to back..because she need to rest...well i told her..am cool with that. I will walk home - bus don't run that lane....so i always walk home....i got employed in March.. 

 

I normal get 3days off...and i make sure we spend some time indoors..like watching tele together..cooking for her most atimes..because she does not know how to cook..i do most of the cooking and wash the plates..we go 50/50 on bills since i came...but because of the lockdown.. Most offices are closed so i don't have any of my name on any bills for now..we planned doing that when the lockdown is lifted...So most often, She used my bank card to pay half of the bills and all that shows is the receipt i get from the bank informing me u card has been used to pay your this amount for ur rent or DTE.. Some time ago.....i try to sleeping in the sitting room because i needed rest badly and she was snoring loud...so i walk out quietly to go get some sleep...as soon as i walk to sitting room...she came to warn me..if i keep sleeping in the couch... Then we have to divorce.. She got mad and went back to sleep...i have no other option than to go back and sleep by her side ... I went back to bedroom and she sack me to go back..i slept in the couch for 3days... With all this body pains... I never told anyone...because is all about sacrifice... I have try to sleep with the ear piece, we bought nostil trips..we have try different method-  but did not work...And we all know..if one dont sleep during the night...they wake up not functioning well... Thats what is happening to me now.. anytime i want to sleep whiles she is awake..she gets upset and tells me...all i do is sleep during the day...and i told her..because i dont sleep during the night... And its affect me during the day time..and i must go work in the night too... When i look at me in mirror i can see something is not right with my face... My eyes always red.. - the issue is  when am off and even at home....i cant sleep during the night...am always up listen to her snoring ...and she goes of the mood when am about to have 6 to 7 sleep during the day....Now she want me out the house...Given 30days to get a place to sleep....and this is the fourth time she is using the word divorce in any situation that comes up

 

Now i don't even know what to do...i explain it to my boss at work...and he told me to file a report to the police department and tell them this is what am facing at home and show them the text message that says she want me out of the house.. 

 

Am just lost in this country....have no friends or knows nobody around...hmmmm

Gec,

Sorry to hear about this. No worries. DO NOT LEAVE the house and talk with your wife. ONLY BOTH OF YOU CAN SOLVE THIS MATTER.

No matter what happened, this is manageable and i really want you to enjoy your marriage life with your wife that petitioned for you. Whether she snores or she doesn't know how to cook, dude, it is your responsabilisity , as the head of the family to manage this situation. I guess you have been together for a while. So, you know her very well.

You mentioned that she wasn't snoring when she came to Ghana. Now, that she snores, you pretend that she is annoying. Dude, you cannot abandon your wife to sleep on the couch. While awaiting on things to come back to normal from the lockdown, she can have a televisit  with her doctor for some guidelines to solve her health condition (breathing). Snoring is a health condition.  If she is overweight, she can just exercice to loose some weight, work on her breathing. Even during the lockdown, you can find lot of resources to solve her problem.

YOU CANNOT REJECT YOUR WIFI BECAUSE SHE IS SNORING. NEVER NEVER NEVER.

Whether you work days or the grave yard shift,  YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOUR WIFE. If you really LOVE this lady, do not leave. Take some time and talk to her. Forget about going to the police department. You can also seek advice from a counselor (family expert).

 

Just consider her text as a joke. She is just messing up with you. She wants to see if you can leave the house knowing you just came to the US.

 

NEVER THINK OF DIVORCE whatever happens. TAKE TIME AND TALK TO YOUR WIFI TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM.

 

 

GOOD LUCK for everything and stay safe.

 

Shalom

 

[Pinkrlion 2,724]

30 minutes ago, Gec said:

Its was not my intention to get a night job... We both agreed to that.. More over .. No matter what.. I Make all effort to stay in bed with her...untill next morning without me sleeping.. What if am also working in the morning...how can i get my sleep ... In all i never ask for divorce

Than go to marriage counseling. There is more than u think. 

[Gec 0]

2 hours ago, Mavan said:

Gec,

Sorry to hear about this. No worries. DO NOT LEAVE the house and talk with your wife. ONLY BOTH OF YOU CAN SOLVE THIS MATTER.

No matter what happened, this is manageable and i really want you to enjoy your marriage life with your wife that petitioned for you. Whether she snores or she doesn't know how to cook, dude, it is your responsabilisity , as the head of the family to manage this situation. I guess you have been together for a while. So, you know her very well.

You mentioned that she wasn't snoring when she came to Ghana. Now, that she snores, you pretend that she is annoying. Dude, you cannot abandon your wife to sleep on the couch. While awaiting on things to come back to normal from the lockdown, she can have a televisit  with her doctor for some guidelines to solve her health condition (breathing). Snoring is a health condition.  If she is overweight, she can just exercice to loose some weight, work on her breathing. Even during the lockdown, you can find lot of resources to solve her problem.

YOU CANNOT REJECT YOUR WIFI BECAUSE SHE IS SNORING. NEVER NEVER NEVER.

Whether you work days or the grave yard shift,  YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOUR WIFE. If you really LOVE this lady, do not leave. Take some time and talk to her. Forget about going to the police department. You can also seek advice from a counselor (family expert).

 

Just consider her text as a joke. She is just messing up with you. She wants to see if you can leave the house knowing you just came to the US.

 

NEVER THINK OF DIVORCE whatever happens. TAKE TIME AND TALK TO YOUR WIFI TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM.

 

 

GOOD LUCK for everything and stay safe.

 

Shalom

 

The problem now is....she says i sleep during the day... And She dont like it.. Since from March, having be laying beside her in the bedroom... I never complain to her.. Because she is my wife...now me sleeping during day is disturbing her.... - So am i still at fault to sleep during the day....if i cant sleep during the night

 

She told me...All i do is to sleep all day...like what am i suppose to do know..i go to bed from 9am to 2pm or 3pm..and i wake up.....( and we all know sleeping helps us restore energy.). - i told her am gonna stand by her till we solve this problem... I never told her..let break up.. I was rather encouraging her it will get better...

 

The mean problem is Because i sleep most often during the day... She is upset and mad..

[Mavan 38]

3 hours ago, Gec said:

The problem now is....she says i sleep during the day... And She dont like it.. Since from March, having be laying beside her in the bedroom... I never complain to her.. Because she is my wife...now me sleeping during day is disturbing her.... - So am i still at fault to sleep during the day....if i cant sleep during the night

 

She told me...All i do is to sleep all day...like what am i suppose to do know..i go to bed from 9am to 2pm or 3pm..and i wake up.....( and we all know sleeping helps us restore energy.). - i told her am gonna stand by her till we solve this problem... I never told her..let break up.. I was rather encouraging her it will get better...

 

The mean problem is Because i sleep most often during the day... She is upset and mad..

Bro, PLEASE DO NOT LET this wifi treat you like that. You are the head of the family. Take her out for a dinner or launch and talk to her. She will understand. MOST women are like EGGS that need good CARE. Please, DO NOT LET this EGG go.

I really want to hear that you are UNITED with your wifi.

Good luck and stay safe

[Ontarkie 14,234]

You can ask if she will do marriage counselling. Many therapist are doing phone and video sessions.  But it looks like she is done and most likely there is a lot more to this than what you are saying.

 

When someone is done that is it they are done.

 

You need to be careful, do not try this bull that you are head of the household ####### that will not fly here.

 

If she won't do counselling then leave and move on.

[Sugeiry 3]

My friend. She is feeling rejected!!! You need to get her some flowers, remind her that you love her, give her a nice massage and after all that! In good terms! Talk about the issue and find a solution. Do not sleep on the couch! Google things you can do to solve this problem. There is still salvation here! Please stop rejecting her. 

[Sarge2155 4,587]

Wow someone thought this OP post was funny or what his wife wrote. I'm  dumbfounded someone would laugh at the OP!

[Gec 0]

26 minutes ago, Sugeiry said:

My friend. She is feeling rejected!!! You need to get her some flowers, remind her that you love her, give her a nice massage and after all that! In good terms! Talk about the issue and find a solution. Do not sleep on the couch! Google things you can do to solve this problem. There is still salvation here! Please stop rejecting her. 

Am not rejecting her... I still sleep on the same bed with her to date.. .. We do shopping together...food buying and the rest... We even sit at couch and make funny and watch movie together... You guys still dont get....

 

Me sleeping during the day whiles she is awake is the issue...--- that all

[Marieke H 2,512]

4 hours ago, Mavan said:

MOST women are like EGGS that need good CARE. Please, DO NOT LET this EGG go.

Yeah, no. As a woman, I can tell you we are not like eggs.

 

OP, this really isn't an immigration issue. Please don't take relationship advice from random strangers. If she is willing to try marriage counseling, that's an option. But it sounds like she is done. There must be more going on than this sleep issue. 

[dwheels76 5,468]

45 minutes ago, Gec said:

Am not rejecting her... I still sleep on the same bed with her to date.. .. We do shopping together...food buying and the rest... We even sit at couch and make funny and watch movie together... You guys still dont get....

 

Me sleeping during the day whiles she is awake is the issue...--- that all

Then don't sleep during the day. If you work nights when exactly are you suppose to sleep then? Seems there's a real breakdown of communication with you two. Can;t believe a marriage is over over snoring. You either want your marriage or you don;t fight for your marriage. Seek someone that knows and respects you both and talk to them and get to the root of the issue. I don;t think snoring or sleeping is the issue.