My fiancé have stood me up twice

[Jessica lam 0]

Hi everyone, i come to Usa twice by K1 visas with the same peritioner. The first time it didn’t work out because he said he had cold feet even though we had engagement before already. We bought the rings and the dress for me. He acted like i am the one but when it came to marriage. He said he got used to be single so i had to leave. So i left usa the first time before the expired date. 2 years after that, he tried to convince me that letting me go is huge mistake and asked me to give him another chance. During that time, i studied overseas in a third country so we applied the k1 visa again because we didn’t have enough time to get married in my home country. And also I believed that he was regretful and he wanted to make up to me. Now when i only have 1 month left to get married. He said he feels scared of marriage even though i asked him millions times before getting here whether he is sure about marriage with me. And he said yes. He asked me to have faith in us. He also wrote down 4 pages of timeline how he ###### up and asked consulate for sympathy to give him another chance to get married with me.

 

But life is not a movie. He is ###### me up again. Now he just said he cant get married with me even though I don’t do anything wrong this time. I have checked the flights to go back my home country recently and it seems like they restrict the flights from usa now. Another thing is even if i can go back my home country on time, i will be isolated in an area far from my home because of the virus. I feel so devastated and heartbroken now. I also feel speechless about how he could treat me that way. I dont know what I should do now. Any advice is welcome. 

 

[NoMansLand2020 298]

3 minutes ago, Jessica lam said:

Hi everyone, i come to Usa twice by K1 visas with the same peritioner. The first time it didn’t work out because he said he had cold feet even though we had engagement before already. We bought the rings and the dress for me. He acted like i am the one but when it came to marriage. He said he got used to be single so i had to leave. So i left usa the first time before the expired date. 2 years after that, he tried to convince me that letting me go is huge mistake and asked me to give him another chance. During that time, i studied overseas in a third country so we applied the k1 visa again because we didn’t have enough time to get married in my home country. And also I believed that he was regretful and he wanted to make up to me. Now when i only have 1 month left to get married. He said he feels scared of marriage even though i asked him millions times before getting here whether he is sure about marriage with me. And he said yes. He asked me to have faith in us. He also wrote down 4 pages of timeline how he ###### up and asked consulate for sympathy to give him another chance to get married with me.

 

But life is not a movie. He is ###### me up again. Now he just said he cant get married with me even though I don’t do anything wrong this time. I have checked the flights to go back my home country recently and it seems like they restrict the flights from usa now. Another thing is even if i can go back my home country on time, i will be isolated in an area far from my home because of the virus. I feel so devastated and heartbroken now. I also feel speechless about how he could treat me that way. I dont know what I should do now. Any advice is welcome. 

 

How old is your fiance, 18???

Don't waste anymore of your time with him. It's obvious he has insecurities and commitment issues. 

Edited April 30, 2020 by Solaris81

[Jessica lam 0]

Just now, Solaris81 said:

How old is your fiance, 18???

Don't waste anymore of your time with him. It's obvious he has I securities and committed issues. 

He is 50 right now. I just feel so unfair because he has no responsibility for this. 

[MelOe 187]

What a terrible terrible situation to put you in, I'm so sorry this is happening to you! I agree that it sounds like he is not worth your time. If you feel otherwise at the least next time you agree to marrying him insist to do so outside the USA and go the spousal visa route instead.

 

As for your current situation I believe you need to contact USCIS and file for extension of stay before the expiration of your 90 day period if you can't return home in time. Check on their website, I'm sure you can find guidance there.

[PatLuvO 284]

36 minutes ago, Jessica lam said:

He is 50 right now. I just feel so unfair because he has no responsibility for this. 

I am so sorry this has happened to you. I pray you make it back home safely and can move on past this traumatic event. He is very cruel to treat you in such a manner especially at his age he should know better and the responsibility of having you uproot your life to move to be with him. 

[SalishSea 17,847]

16 hours ago, MelOe said:

As for your current situation I believe you need to contact USCIS and file for extension of stay before the expiration of your 90 day period if you can't return home in time.

USCIS does not deal with visas.

[SalishSea 17,847]

Sorry to hear of your predicament.  Sounds like he just isn't 'ready' for marriage, and at least that is evident now, rather than after.  

 

If you do not marry within the 90 days, you will need to leave the US so that you do not jeopardize any future path to visiting.  

[MelOe 187]

2 hours ago, Jorgedig said:

USCIS does not deal with visas.

I was looking at this page and took it to mean that under certain circumstances USCIS can grant extensions in the current situation. Of course a K1 that doesn't lead to marriage and adjustment of status isn't mentioned, which is why I thought contacting them to find out if this is an option might be an idea for the OP:

 

https://www.uscis.gov/news/alerts/covid-19-delays-extensionchange-status-filings

[TBoneTX 45,329]

If an extension of stay is feasible, apply for it before your 90 days expires.

[JonSeattle 202]

Normally a K-1 cannot be extended, but apparently discrentionary relief is being allowed on a case by case basis currently.

 

https://www.uscis.gov/news/alerts/covid-19-delays-extensionchange-status-filings

 

(See also https://www.fragomen.com/insights/alerts/uscis-offers-no-special-covid-relief-nonimmigrants-seeking-change-or-extension-stay)

 

Hopefully your filing for the extension will come up on your former fiance's record if he ever tries to do to someone else what he did to you. Something is seriously wrong with him.

 

The good news is you aren't married to him.

 

Best of luck.

 

[payxibka 10,045]

4 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

If an extension of stay is feasible, apply for it before your 90 days expires.

An extension of stay is meaningless for a k1.  The 90 days to marry is hard coded in the law and is not extendable.  If the 90 days is exceeded then it's an i130 and i485 concurrent filing but only with the original petitionner 

Edited May 1, 2020 by payxibka

[TBoneTX 45,329]

1 hour ago, payxibka said:

An extension of stay is meaningless for a k1.  The 90 days to marry is hard coded in the law and is not extendable.  If the 90 days is exceeded then it's an i130 and i485 concurrent filing but only with the original petitionner 

Very true, unless anything that JonSeattle points out will apply during these peculiar times.  If nothing does apply, then the 90 days is it.

[payxibka 10,045]

2 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Very true, unless anything that JonSeattle points out will apply during these peculiar times.  If nothing does apply, then the 90 days is it.

The link refers you to i129 & i539 for statuses that are eligible for extensions or changes.  K1 is not listed.

[TBoneTX 45,329]

Then what you cite is fact and law.

[Villanelle 4,122]

I remember reading something that talked about anyone with overstay issues due to the lock down from pandemic will have an opportunity on any future visa petitions/applications etc where the overstay would be an issue - there would be an opportunity for possibly a waiver type thing that doesnt exist yet or some type of statement of exception based on policy that allows them to make exceptions like this. Basically the framework exists for them to do this- BUT they havent officially done this yet and maybe they decide to not ever do it, but it seems likely they will implement something to deal with people that were 'forced' into overstay besides the current apply for extension option. Its something to keep an eye on...

 

Unfortunately that leaves you with having to make a decision now on whether its better for you to leave on time and 100% have no overstay and yes, unfortunately youd be going somewhere away from family,,,, but the other option is to stay and run the risk of there never being any policy change that would cover and forgive your overstay. But I am assuming you dont have family here either do you? Is it just him here? Is it better for your mental health to be here with him or somewhere alone?