Can we bring my 10yo sister in law to the USA?

[Ryan H 3,811]

***Post violating the TOS (abusive language) removed along with posts quoting or referencing.***

[TVC 244]

11 minutes ago, Unlockable said:

Listen, we understand the situation. This forum probably has more members who sponsored someone from the Philippines than any other country. Most of us have seen poverty in other countries. I have seen it also myself. If there was a way to save everyone, we would do it.

 

But unfortunately this is how things are. You do not have easy options to bring over your niece. It sucks but this is the realization many people deal with. Many people make the choice to leave family and children behind so they can work in another country. Many people can't be with their loved ones because they have to find a way to make money to send back home. It happens every day. 

 

There will always be obstacles that people may have to prevent them from having things their way. You stated yourself that working in the PHL is difficult for you now. So your neice living in poverty is not the only obstacle you are a faced with. Whether you decide to stay here or move to the Philippines, you may encounter obstacles.

It's actually my sister in law not my niece. I guess I'm just going to have to send money to my wife's family every month. Even $100 or $200 would go a really long way to help them.

Edited April 17, 2020 by TVC

[Unlockable 7,314]

I want to add something else. 

 

Threads (or stories) involving children is always tough to me. If you do a search on this forum you will find that the adoption question has been asked many times. I have read some real heartbreaking situations. I am talking where the child did not have living parents and is near homeless or was living with someone that was abusing them. The problem is immigration is never an immediate solution. If a child is starving, homeless, or abused, immigration is not going to immediately make their situation better because it can take years.

 

As stated before the laws for adoption for immigration purposes is extremely strict. This is not just because to prevent fraud, but to also protect children from abduction, trafficking, and abuse. If you google the Hague Convention Laws you will find that child adoption is an Internationally protected process between many countries. So even if the parents want to give up their child there is still laws that need to be adhered to. It is not an easy or seamless process. 

 

In most cases we have seen on this site, the family in the US usually ends up helping the child by sending money for their education and housing. 

Edited April 17, 2020 by Unlockable

[TVC 244]

4 minutes ago, Unlockable said:

I want to add something else. 

 

Threads (or stories) involving children is always tough to me. If you do a search on this forum you will find that the adoption question has been asked many times. I have read some real heartbreaking situations. I am talking where the child did not have living parents and is near homeless or was living with someone that was abusing them. The problem is immigration is never an immediate solution. If a child is starving, homeless, or abused, immigration is not going to immediately make their situation better because it can take years.

 

As stated before the laws for adoption for immigration purposes is extremely strict. This is not just because to prevent fraud, but to also protect children from abduction, trafficking, and abuse. If you google the Hague Convention Laws you will find that child adoption is an Internationally protected process with many countries. So even if the parents want to give up their child there is still laws that need to be adhered to. It is not an easy or seamless process. 

 

In most cases we have seen on this site, the family in the US usually ends up helping the child by sending money for their education and housing. 

Yea. We actually found an apartment that is only 4k a month. It doesn't have aircon but its actually pretty nice. So I'm going to rent the apartment for my wife's family so they can move out of their shack. I can keep sending them the 4k pesos for the rent forever. So at least my little sister in law won't have to live in a shack anymore.

 

This is embarrassing but I find myself buying lotto tickets even though I understand its ridiculous. I buy the lotto tickets just to give myself the chance to dream of what I could do for the family if we won. 

[SalishSea 17,597]

3 hours ago, TVC said:

I hate the people who talk about immigrants in the USA and say "Well they should come here legally!"

 

If they knew how hard it was to even bring your own wife. And bringing other family members is impossible I guess.

 

The USA need serious immigration reform. It should be free and fast to bring your wife and children. 

This thread isn’t even about bringing a wife and children......

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

4 hours ago, TVC said:

Yea. We actually found an apartment that is only 4k a month. It doesn't have aircon but its actually pretty nice. So I'm going to rent the apartment for my wife's family so they can move out of their shack. I can keep sending them the 4k pesos for the rent forever. So at least my little sister in law won't have to live in a shack anymore.

 

This is embarrassing but I find myself buying lotto tickets even though I understand its ridiculous. I buy the lotto tickets just to give myself the chance to dream of what I could do for the family if we won. 

Where in Pinas is your wife and her family from? My wife is from Mindanao so I completely understand about wanting to do better for them. I have spent close to $15k in helping them rebuild their house after a typhoon and after already spending over $10k in helping to make the house before habitable. We also send money every month to help my niece go to college and pay for some of her expenses. It is unfortunate to say the least but that's what we have to do as family. 

 

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

5 hours ago, TVC said:

I'm a school teacher. If there was some way I could find a reliable teaching job online then we could just continue living in the Philippines. But I have had no luck thus far. I've tried about 10 companies. Teaching in a brick and mortar school in the Philippines cant work due to the low salaries.

There are reliable ways to teach online but the pay is pretty low unfortunately. My Filipina niece lost her job due to Covid19 and had to move in with us earlier this month because No job=no money. She found a job online teaching English at night. So now I have my laptop taken away so I can hear her teaching singing ABCs to Japanese kids. 

[xyz12345 260]

Provide for your sis-in law's education so she can help her family someday. Encourage her to learn a third language. Filipino families even encourage their kids to be nurses so they can have more opportunities to get high paying jobs outside the Philippines.
 

imo Should US immigration be free and fast as you've mentioned, Filipinos will be out of the Philippines in a second.

[Arnel villarreal 46]

10 hours ago, TVC said:

My wife is from the Philippines. We filed a i-130 for her visa in December. My wife's family is very poor. Her father makes $6 a day working 10 hours which is less than minimum wage but it's the only job he can find. They live in a terrible shack that is falling down. Its dangerous really.

 

My wife's 10yo sister has been living at our apartment with us since this fall. My wife's mother likes this situation better because she says she cannot take care of the little girl. We asked my wife's mother if we could bring the 10yo with us to the USA. She loves the idea. She said she will give us custody. The problem is it appears in the Philippines a parent cannot give up custody of her children.

 

How can me and my wife bring her little sister with us to the USA?

God bless you.

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

19 hours ago, TVC said:

I hate the people who talk about immigrants in the USA and say "Well they should come here legally!"

 

If they knew how hard it was to even bring your own wife. And bringing other family members is impossible I guess.

 

The USA need serious immigration reform. It should be free and fast to bring your wife and children. 

It is relatively easy to bring wives and kids, all of us married to Filipinas have felt that we could improve the lives of nieces nephews and siblings the easy way to do it is to send money to the family, your $300 a month or so is life changing to them and the benefit extends to more of the family. It’s frustrating to have to wait, but everyone is in the same bost

[flicks1998 1,044]

27 minutes ago, Randyandyuni said:

It is relatively easy to bring wives and kids, all of us married to Filipinas have felt that we could improve the lives of nieces nephews and siblings the easy way to do it is to send money to the family, your $300 a month or so is life changing to them and the benefit extends to more of the family. It’s frustrating to have to wait, but everyone is in the same bost

This is just some of my feedback after working in the Philippines for 10 years and being in and out of the country before that over a 6 year period.  I have rarely lived in the US but have made the move back for my son to attend schooling in the US and not the Philippines which I do not want.  My fiance and I are just waiting for the embassy to open as we are ready for that stage now.

 

I only get along with my fiance as she and her family have lived in other countries for kind a long time so she has a different perspective on things.  I could never marry a Filipina otherwise.  I wont go into many details on this as its not the point of the forum.

 

Some have mentioned teaching English while in the Philippines and thats a good option.  I know quite a few retired foreigners supplementing their income doing this online and teaching Chinese children.  Pay is between $15-$30 an hour or so depending on experience.  Classes are normally 25 minutes so you teach quite a few different kids or sometimes adults.  I can pass along the name but its a very large legit organization.  You can actually do this on your 9a (tourist stamp) and just do extension for up to 3 years before you would have to leave the country.

 

I have worked all over Asia including the Philippines over my 25 years overseas.  If the OP was to marry in the Philippines you could work on your 13a visa (marriage visa).  There are no restrictions on this however employers will lowball you and treat you almost the same as a local.  If you are on a 13a visa, you will be significantly underpaid compared to others who are on a 9g visa.

 

I was on a 9g visa (work visa) and there are more strict requirements for this, such as demonstrating skills that Filipinos cannot do, having an org chart where you are training at a minimum 2 Filipinos to take your job in the future, along with minimum salary requirements etc.  I work in Global Mobility and Relocation which involves Relocating client expats, international taxation, immigration, consulting etc.  If you have experience in this field you can find well paying jobs all over the world.  I always tell people that want to work overseas to forget about teaching English and look at Global Mobility.  However if you do not have much experience in this field and want to get into it, you will face age discrimination if you are an older person.  I know its illegal in the US but its a fact of life in many other countries including the Philippines.  However as I have mentioned in other threads, my admiration for the Philippines quickly died when I started working full time in the country.  I cant think of any person, whether it was a client, another vendor, a friend, colleague, director, on and on who didnt lie.  Everyone lies profusely and sometimes on the stupidest of things.  Add in the lack of critical thinking skills, the general attitude of not taking jobs seriously, and the massive amount of cheating in personal relationships made my views change from the religious portrayal they like but one of massive hypocrisy.  This was also the case with Filipinos I managed in Singapore and Hong Kong.  Therefore, I always advise foreigners to take it slow about working in the country because some envision a life of paradise if they can work in the Philippines and its nothing of that nature.  I can see that in the Expats I move into the country and then a few years later, they are completely burned out and have alot of disdain for the place. 

 

As for sending money, we all know the story on that.  My thoughts are its each person own money and they can do what they want with it.  However, I have seen huge amounts of money wasted in the past if its not actively controlled.  On Sundays, I used to meet up with some Filipino friends in Hong Kong and many had nothing but sad stories where they had been working in HK for many years and sending everything home but the family was never using it what it should have been for.  For helping this little girl its a noble cause which she will be forever grateful for, just keep the grubby greedy hands at bay and try not to tell too many that you are doing this.  If money is no object to you, I would suggest sending her to ISM (International School Manila) or even Brent however Brent is down the SLEX south of Alabang.  ISM will set you back about $35K or so each year on average.  Depending on grade the fees differ.  But as I said, if you have the money, thats an excellent option to get a US education.  I know most of the teachers there and the majority come from the US and teach US style which means critical thinking, cause and effect, etc etc.  However if you cannot afford this which most of us cant without a company paying it, you may want to subsidize the girls local school education with things that would be taught in the US.  I cant stress enough the critical thinking portion as its not taught at all in the Philippines but is so vital for a childs success later.  Its one reason why being a smart ### goes over ones head there (along with many other Asian countries) as people take it literally and dont have the critical thinking skills to differentiate between being a smart ### and not being one.  There are some excellent studies on this out there.

 

The other board members are right that you will have an enormously hard time bringing this girl to the US, but there are things you can do to assist in making her future bright, but it wont be easy and you will need to be actively involved.  

[JFH 12,189]

20 hours ago, TVC said:

I hate the people who talk about immigrants in the USA and say "Well they should come here legally!"

 

If they knew how hard it was to even bring your own wife. And bringing other family members is impossible I guess.

 

The USA need serious immigration reform. It should be free and fast to bring your wife and children. 

The thing is, when the only immigration system you have dealt with is the US one, it’s easy to think it’s unfair, harsh, etc. 

 

Take our situation, for example. We initially applied for my USC husband to move to me in the UK. To bring a spouse into the UK there is a financial requirement that’s higher than here, no joint or co-sponsors permitted. You either have enough money or you are denied. The fees are higher. My husband has a criminal record from the early 1990s for theft which caused his visa to be denied. No waiver possible. No appeal possible. Game over. A foreign spouse wanting to join their USC spouse here with a criminal record for theft from decades ago would at least have the option of a waiver. And likely would be approved. And had my husband been successful he would never have been able to bring his parents, adult children (if he had them) or siblings to the UK to live. The most he could have brought with him would be a minor child. He would not have had permanent residency immediately. He would have to go through various processes similar to removal of conditions before he could be a permanent resident. And citizenship eligibility after 2 years 9 months? Not a chance! The only “advantage” of the UK visa process is that it is quicker. My visa journey here was a breeze compared to what we went through with for the UK and what my brother back home went through to bring his wife from Mexico into the UK.

[Just Paul 4,595]

When I proposed to Mary we had a long talk about the process to come to the US and the timelines.  What came to light pretty quick was that Mary was trying to save enough money so that her next sister could go to college along with most of her earning were going to support her mother and the three younger kids. 

We put together a budget and sat down with her mother and sister. 

 

Mary and her sister opened a bank account and we just put money in monthly for her food, room and board (5,000php) and money in each semester (about 20,000php).  She has been pretty good about keeping track of expenses not needing extra money.   We are hoping the same works for the two youngest siblings if they want to go to university.

 

Mary's mother budget monthly is10,000php plus we take care of school supplies and clothes twice a year.   We helped her setup selling fruit and longanese but I'm not sure what is going on with the lockdown in Bohol. 

 

Mary and I agreed I'd take care of the monthly amounts until she was working again.  No problem.

 

We support them how we can within reason.  It is super hard for mom to be self sufficient.  I let Mary handle all of the money requests.  Mary had a hard time at first but has gotten good and helping them better.

 

Do you want to as you can to support them from the US and try to get them to buy into it.  Put some extra aside.

 

The US immigration system isn't bad compared to most western countries. Few have fiance options and few allow citizenship as fast as 3 years. .  

 

If your wife becomes a citizen she can file a petition for her sister.   Then later in life her sister will have another option.

 

 

 

 

[nelmagriffin 144]

On 4/17/2020 at 1:52 AM, TVC said:

It's actually my sister in law not my niece. I guess I'm just going to have to send money to my wife's family every month. Even $100 or $200 would go a really long way to help them.

Greetings!

Thank you for opening up your heart to your family in the Philippines. Not all Filipinos are blessed with nice houses etc. but one thing for sure they are hard working and kind. May God bless you with all his blessings. I like the idea that she stays in the Philippines and be encourage to study in a good healthy environment. And if there is a way or an opportunity  that one day she could come to the USA to study it is will be awesome. But for now, helping them is being so kind. Sometimes in life one just needed someone to be that bridge for ones success and for that I thank you. NG

Edited April 18, 2020 by nelmagriffin

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

17 hours ago, Paul & Mary said:

When I proposed to Mary we had a long talk about the process to come to the US and the timelines.  What came to light pretty quick was that Mary was trying to save enough money so that her next sister could go to college along with most of her earning were going to support her mother and the three younger kids. 

We put together a budget and sat down with her mother and sister. 

 

Mary and her sister opened a bank account and we just put money in monthly for her food, room and board (5,000php) and money in each semester (about 20,000php).  She has been pretty good about keeping track of expenses not needing extra money.   We are hoping the same works for the two youngest siblings if they want to go to university.

 

Mary's mother budget monthly is10,000php plus we take care of school supplies and clothes twice a year.   We helped her setup selling fruit and longanese but I'm not sure what is going on with the lockdown in Bohol. 

 

Mary and I agreed I'd take care of the monthly amounts until she was working again.  No problem.

 

We support them how we can within reason.  It is super hard for mom to be self sufficient.  I let Mary handle all of the money requests.  Mary had a hard time at first but has gotten good and helping them better.

 

Do you want to as you can to support them from the US and try to get them to buy into it.  Put some extra aside.

 

The US immigration system isn't bad compared to most western countries. Few have fiance options and few allow citizenship as fast as 3 years. .  

 

If your wife becomes a citizen she can file a petition for her sister.   Then later in life her sister will have another option.

 

 

 

 

Same here as well. I help provide for my niece who is in college now. She was lucky enough to get some scholarships and a small stipend that covers the vast majority of stuff. So we help out and send a whopping $50 a month to her to help pay for food and incrementals. We also help with my MIL who is older now and very forgetful. So we provide and help out but the max we help out is $300 a month