Dating but how do we get married?

[PurpleMelody 0]

Hello there! 

 

My boyfriend and I are in a bit of a situation.. 

 

He's been living in the US for 7 years (5 years under the F1 visa) and we have been dating for 6 years now. He graduated from a US university and has been working for a US company while under the OPT stem extension.

 

Problem? 
His employer applied for an H1b visa twice but he didn't win the lottery. Now his F1 visa is expiring in June, so he has to stop working by then and would have to leave by August. His employer is able to relocate him to Canada and offered to apply for the H1b visa again (with again, no guarantee). So how does he come back? 

 

Where we get stuck...

(1) We want to get married!! BUT if we get married now [while he is in the US] and start the green-card process here he will lose his job since it takes months to receive the EAD work authorization, which we don't want. 

(2) So... is it possible for us to get married right now and start the green-card process LATER [while he's abroad and I'm still living in the US]? I can't leave because I'm currently in grad school. If we do this, we won't have time to live together, start a lease, open a joint bank account, etc. Only thing we have is proof that we have been dating for 6 years and we actually do want to get married!! 

 

What should we do?

If you have any advice, we'd really appreciate it!! 

 

Thank you 

 

 

[millefleur 5,046]

**Moved from General Immigration-Related Discussion to What Visa Do I Need - Family Based Immigration**

[Just Paul 4,595]

3 minutes ago, PurpleMelody said:

(1) We want to get married!! BUT if we get married now [while he is in the US] and start the green-card process here he will lose his job since it takes months to receive the EAD work authorization, which we don't want. 

Well you waited too long for that to be viable.

 

You can get married now and he can either return to Canada and process there and work upon entering, or get married now and not be able to work for a while.

[PurpleMelody 0]

11 minutes ago, Paul & Mary said:

Well you waited too long for that to be viable.

 

You can get married now and he can either return to Canada and process there and work upon entering, or get married now and not be able to work for a while.

Will we have issues during the green card process if we don't have any additional proof of marriage? 

[Just Paul 4,595]

Just now, PurpleMelody said:

Will we have issues during the green card process if we don't have any additional proof of marriage? 

Getting married is the just minimum.   Act married and co-mingle your finances.  Living together helps too.

[millefleur 5,046]

1 minute ago, PurpleMelody said:

Will we have issues during the green card process if we don't have any additional proof of marriage? 

It's not just marriage proof, it is proof of bona fide relationship. 

 

Since you've been together for 6 years, there should be many things you can collect as evidence for that. Have you ever lived together?

[PurpleMelody 0]

7 minutes ago, millefleur said:

It's not just marriage proof, it is proof of bona fide relationship. 

 

Since you've been together for 6 years, there should be many things you can collect as evidence for that. Have you ever lived together?

We've never lived together and can't live together after we get married since he will be going to Canada and I have to stay to complete my school (unfortunately I cant transfer). 

 

We do have endless amounts of pictures and physical proof such as personalized gifts, letters, etc. but would that be enough? 

[PurpleMelody 0]

13 minutes ago, Paul & Mary said:

Getting married is the just minimum.   Act married and co-mingle your finances.  Living together helps too.

We won't be able to live together since he will be moving and I have to stay in the US. We can open a joint bank account before he leaves! 

 

Will we have any problems with the fact that he had to move immediately after getting married? 

[Just Paul 4,595]

10 minutes ago, PurpleMelody said:

We can open a joint bank account before he leaves! 

You don't have to wait to get married for a joint bank account.  I had Mary on bank accounts, credit cards and as a beneficiary on life insurance long before we got married.

 

12 minutes ago, PurpleMelody said:

Will we have any problems with the fact that he had to move immediately after getting married?

People here don't usually live together right after marrying.  We live apart for about a month.   He is Canadian so he can visit easily.

[millefleur 5,046]

Your situation is actually extremely common here on VJ. A lot of people here married and then had to live apart right after marriage. You don't need to worry, just focus on gathering as much evidence as you can, including photos, proof of travel together (or you travelling to see him and vice versa), letters/cards sent to each other, proof of regular communication, affidavits from family members saying the marriage/relationship is real, and also a cover letter with your petition explaining your story and how you met and your relationship.

 

Further examples from the VJ Wiki -

 

(include as many as apply to you)

• Affidavit from petitioner and beneficiary verifying the marriage or relationship
• Affidavit from witnesses to the relationship/marriage (parents, siblings, other relatives, close friends)
• Wedding announcements, invitations
• Church certificate
• Wedding pictures
• Joint bank account letter (when opened and balance) and recent statements
• Joint credit card statement - including receipts from charges made by both of you
• Evidence of joint life and cohabitation: monthly bills, insurance, assets etc.
• A deed showing co-ownership of your property or a lease agreement with both of your names on the lease
• Receipts of money transfer (if applicable)
• Phone bills showing your conversations
• Receipts of gifts sent online or otherwise
• Transcripts of IM chats or Skype calls
• Copies of letters and/or e-mails
• Copies of holiday cards addressed to you both
• Birth certificate of any child that has been born to your marriage
• Airline ticket receipts showing trips taken together or to visit each other -- including boarding passes
• Copies of the passport stamps from any visits to your spouse's country
• Pictures of you together on vacation and/or with family and friends. It's best to include a range of times, not just a bunch of photos from a short period of time

[PurpleMelody 0]

21 minutes ago, Paul & Mary said:

You don't have to wait to get married for a joint bank account.  I had Mary on bank accounts, credit cards and as a beneficiary on life insurance long before we got married.

 

People here don't usually live together right after marrying.  We live apart for about a month.   He is Canadian so he can visit easily.

Thats great, I didn't know that! We'll look into doing that as soon as possible! Do you think our situation will work out fine? 

[Boiler 45,525]

Well you could marry, file to adjust and try to expedite the EAD, not a guarantee but many here have had success.

[PurpleMelody 0]

10 minutes ago, millefleur said:

Your situation is actually extremely common here on VJ. A lot of people here married and then had to live apart right after marriage. You don't need to worry, just focus on gathering as much evidence as you can, including photos, proof of travel together (or you travelling to see him and vice versa), letters/cards sent to each other, proof of regular communication, affidavits from family members saying the marriage/relationship is real, and also a cover letter with your petition explaining your story and how you met and your relationship.

 

Further examples from the VJ Wiki -

 

(include as many as apply to you)

• Affidavit from petitioner and beneficiary verifying the marriage or relationship
• Affidavit from witnesses to the relationship/marriage (parents, siblings, other relatives, close friends)
• Wedding announcements, invitations
• Church certificate
• Wedding pictures
• Joint bank account letter (when opened and balance) and recent statements
• Joint credit card statement - including receipts from charges made by both of you
• Evidence of joint life and cohabitation: monthly bills, insurance, assets etc.
• A deed showing co-ownership of your property or a lease agreement with both of your names on the lease
• Receipts of money transfer (if applicable)
• Phone bills showing your conversations
• Receipts of gifts sent online or otherwise
• Transcripts of IM chats or Skype calls
• Copies of letters and/or e-mails
• Copies of holiday cards addressed to you both
• Birth certificate of any child that has been born to your marriage
• Airline ticket receipts showing trips taken together or to visit each other -- including boarding passes
• Copies of the passport stamps from any visits to your spouse's country
• Pictures of you together on vacation and/or with family and friends. It's best to include a range of times, not just a bunch of photos from a short period of time

This is great information, thank you so much! I really appreciate your help! 

[PurpleMelody 0]

7 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Well you could marry, file to adjust and try to expedite the EAD, not a guarantee but many here have had success.

Is it possible to do this?! Around how long would the expedited time take?

[millefleur 5,046]

Just now, PurpleMelody said:

This is great information, thank you so much! I really appreciate your help! 

Take a look around VJ, we have guides and wikis and many things to help.

 

You're also welcome to post any questions during the process here and many visa veterans will be glad to help. Unless your case has any so-called "red flags" (things that will make USCIS/the Embassy suspect fraud or if there's any criminal history or other complicated issues), you can find almost everything you need here.