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KtotheL

Divorce 1 month after 10 year green card

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Here' s the situation,

We have been in a long distance relationship since 2016 and got married

august 2017. Originally she wanted to come to my country but that didnt work out so last year may during a visit i decided to stay in the u.s. and we filed for aos. Shortly afterwards she changed drastically and claimed that im a financial burden ( she had to pay $300 per month for my health insurance). She also stated that her being married made her lose out  on her tax returns. On top of that she became a very toxic person. She starts arguments out of nowhere, calls me a worthless piece of , claims I'm cheating on her and threatened to get me deported. I have a job since 2 months (EAD) and had my GC interview 1 month ago. I was issued a 10 year green card. Now a month later she wants a divorce and wants me to move out. After what I've been through the past few months, which based on her mothers details on the way my wife was treated as a baby is a strong indicator of Narcissism, I'm leaning towards a divorce as being the right decision myself. However, I'm a little worried that this could be seen as highly suspicous since it's been just 1 month since i was issued the gc. Especially when the time comes to file for citizenship since they will look at my entire history again and the divorce could be a red flag.. I don't want anymore trouble, I just want a peaceful life.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Sweden
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Gather as much evidence of a bonafide marriage as you possibly can before you move out, if for some reason USCIS wants evidence that you entered the marriage in good faith when you file for citizenship. They shouldn't, but you never know. Other than that you can go ahead and start the divorce proceedings, you can file for citizenship in ~5 years. 

K-1: 12-22-2015 - 09-07-2016

AP: 12-20-2016 - 04-07-2017

EAD: 01-18-2017 - 05-30-2017

AOS: 12-20-2016 - 07-26-2017

ROC: 04-22-2019 - 04-22-2020
Naturalization: 05-01-2020 - 03-16-2021

U.S. passport: 03-30-2021 - 05-08-2021

En livstid i krig. Göteborg killed it. Epic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBs3G1PvyfM&ab_channel=Sabaton

 

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13 minutes ago, Scandi said:

Gather as much evidence of a bonafide marriage as you possibly can before you move out, if for some reason USCIS wants evidence that you entered the marriage in good faith when you file for citizenship. They shouldn't, but you never know. Other than that you can go ahead and start the divorce proceedings, you can file for citizenship in ~5 years. 

There should be plenty, not so many bills (we live in her parents house) but lot's of pictures (3 years of traveling), a dream wedding + professional videoshoot, etc. 

Furthermore she is the one who wants to file for divorce, at least that's what she said but it could be just another narcissistic manipulation tactic...

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Sweden
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16 minutes ago, KtotheL said:

There should be plenty, not so many bills (we live in her parents house) but lot's of pictures (3 years of traveling), a dream wedding + professional videoshoot, etc. 

Furthermore she is the one who wants to file for divorce, at least that's what she said but it could be just another narcissistic manipulation tactic...

USCIS wants to see evidence of co-mingled finances and co-habitation. Photos are only secondary evidence. So try to gather monthly statements from your joint bank account(s), credit cards, joint saving accounts, joint money markets etc. Joint car insurance, health insurance, copies of your IDs/DLs showing the same address etc. Anything that shows joint finances and co-habitation. 

 

From what you posted you don't seem to be that interested in continuing the relationship either. You don't have to wait for her to file for divorce, you can file if you want to.

Edited by Scandi

K-1: 12-22-2015 - 09-07-2016

AP: 12-20-2016 - 04-07-2017

EAD: 01-18-2017 - 05-30-2017

AOS: 12-20-2016 - 07-26-2017

ROC: 04-22-2019 - 04-22-2020
Naturalization: 05-01-2020 - 03-16-2021

U.S. passport: 03-30-2021 - 05-08-2021

En livstid i krig. Göteborg killed it. Epic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBs3G1PvyfM&ab_channel=Sabaton

 

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28 minutes ago, Scandi said:

USCIS wants to see evidence of co-mingled finances and co-habitation. Photos are only secondary evidence. So try to gather monthly statements from your joint bank account(s), credit cards, joint saving accounts, joint money markets etc. Joint car insurance, health insurance, copies of your IDs/DLs showing the same address etc. Anything that shows joint finances and co-habitation. 

 

From what you posted you don't seem to be that interested in continuing the relationship either. You don't have to wait for her to file for divorce, you can file if you want to.

Besides the health insurance and a common address there's not much. 2 days before the wedding I came across a collection letter that shows that she owes $244,000 in student loans amongst other debts (credit cards). She will NEVER be able to pay back these debts unless she magically finds a $200,000 p/a job.

I came here with several tens of thousands in cash, and, needless to say, debt free. It would be financial self destruction to combine finances with her. She kept it all a secret. However, thank you for your advice!

Edited by KtotheL
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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Germany
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9 minutes ago, Nitas_man said:

i don’t understand why you think that they will look over your marriage when you apply for citizenship.

 

You’ll only be eligible for citizenship under the 5-yr rule (unless you are still married when your application is processed) and by 2025 your citizenship is not dependent on your marriage, it is dependent on your presence.

I concur

Speak the truth even if your voice shakes

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
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4 hours ago, Nitas_man said:

i don’t understand why you think that they will look over your marriage when you apply for citizenship.

 

You’ll only be eligible for citizenship under the 5-yr rule (unless you are still married when your application is processed) and by 2025 your citizenship is not dependent on your marriage, it is dependent on your presence.

They are allowed to ask questions about the marriage and how it ended, and deny citizenship if they believe there was fraud that was missed before. I saved ALL my evidence from my first marriage until after my citizenship was granted just in case.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Colombia
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If your wife has racked up big credit card bills during your marriage and you "brought in" 10's of thousands of dollars, then you need a very good divorce attorney. Since these financial situations occurred during the marriage, they could be split during divorce proceedings meaning you'll be on the hook for a sizable amount of her liabilities and she'll be entitled to a good portion of your remaining savings. Were any of her school loans incurred while you have been married? If so, you could on the hook for part of that too. Don't be surprised if this hurts you significantly financially. Even if you took pains to keep your finances separate, that might not matter in divorce court.

Marriage: 2014-02-23 - Colombia    ROC interview/completed: 2018-08-16 - Albuquerque
CR1 started : 2014-06-06           N400 started: 2018-04-24
CR1 completed/POE : 2015-07-13     N400 interview: 2018-08-16 - Albuquerque
ROC started : 2017-04-14 CSC     Oath ceremony: 2018-09-24 – Santa Fe

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2 minutes ago, Russ&Caro said:

If your wife has racked up big credit card bills during your marriage and you "brought in" 10's of thousands of dollars, then you need a very good divorce attorney. Since these financial situations occurred during the marriage, they could be split during divorce proceedings meaning you'll be on the hook for a sizable amount of her liabilities and she'll be entitled to a good portion of your remaining savings. Were any of her school loans incurred while you have been married? If so, you could on the hook for part of that too. Don't be surprised if this hurts you significantly financially. Even if you took pains to keep your finances separate, that might not matter in divorce court.

Yup.  OP,  if she "hid" that huge student debt from you before your marriage, that is really awful.  Another lesson for others reading here:  discuss and know your partner's financial situation before marriage.  

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Colombia
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1 minute ago, Jorgedig said:

Yup.  OP,  if she "hid" that huge student debt from you before your marriage, that is really awful.  Another lesson for others reading here:  discuss and know your partner's financial situation before marriage.  

Another thing that occurs to me is that her divorce attorney is likely to place a price tag on what seemed like a free ride in living with her parents, and you will owe a sum for that.

Marriage: 2014-02-23 - Colombia    ROC interview/completed: 2018-08-16 - Albuquerque
CR1 started : 2014-06-06           N400 started: 2018-04-24
CR1 completed/POE : 2015-07-13     N400 interview: 2018-08-16 - Albuquerque
ROC started : 2017-04-14 CSC     Oath ceremony: 2018-09-24 – Santa Fe

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14 minutes ago, Russ&Caro said:

If your wife has racked up big credit card bills during your marriage and you "brought in" 10's of thousands of dollars, then you need a very good divorce attorney. Since these financial situations occurred during the marriage, they could be split during divorce proceedings meaning you'll be on the hook for a sizable amount of her liabilities and she'll be entitled to a good portion of your remaining savings. Were any of her school loans incurred while you have been married? If so, you could on the hook for part of that too. Don't be surprised if this hurts you significantly financially. Even if you took pains to keep your finances separate, that might not matter in divorce court.

Luckily she accumulated all her debts before we met and the money that I brought are my personal savings. I think I will be OK but you never know...

Edited by KtotheL
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31 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

Yup.  OP,  if she "hid" that huge student debt from you before your marriage, that is really awful.  Another lesson for others reading here:  discuss and know your partner's financial situation before marriage.  

She said she has some student loans but never mentioned how much. The letter I found was a garnishing letter and it stated the exact amount....a quarter million. Nobody marries someone with a quarter million debts. I caught her one time on the phone talking to a friend about me when she mentioned that I'm almost 40 and have zero debts. apparently that's a rarity here. After I found out it also made sense to me why she wanted to leave the U.S. so bad. Apparently she was trying to escape her debts. 

Edited by KtotheL
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