Frustration getting the best of me!

[m_and_m20 0]

My husband and i are so upset with my father that we almost want to have nothing to do with him anymore. Thats it, the final straw! I mean, I grew up with a sh!tty father, but i figured that it would change once i got married. I figured that my husband and my father would get along, that they would help eachother out, and that we would ultimately be able to rely on my father if we needed help.

I must have been living in fantasy land, cause none of that will ever happen. I will start at the begining. My dad gets my husband all excited in january after we got back from our trip. My dad initally said that he was going to help my husband find a business so that he could open a garage. Hes a really good mechanic that should be making so much more than he does. so my dad says, "we will find a business, i will put the down payment down, and we will start it together!!!" Great! Completely excited! so, my dad and my husband start looking around for business opprotunities in the area.

I think my dad was assuming that garages were going to be cheap, in the $50,000 range, cause when my husband starting finding businesses in the $200,000 range, my dad started getting a little iffy. Finally, my husband found a garage that he fell in love with, its a little farther away, but it is set up perfectly for him, he could essentially start working right away. the price - $179,000. fine, no worries, cause my dad would be able to help us, right??? he said that he would put up the down payment, and he would help any way that he could. I would work in the office taking care of finances, and my husband would be gettin dirty in the garage. Saturday night, my dad tells my husband, "I dont have the money to give you for a down payment."

That would be fine, if it was true. If he didnt have the money to borrow, why did he borrow $5000 to a friend with a gambling problem??? Why did he borrow $25,000 to a couple to put for a down payment on a house??? Those people were strangers!!!!!! His friend owns a mortgage company that was closing the loan for this house so my dad did it as a favor to his friend. That is what pisses me off the most about this. He has the money to borrow to every tom ####### and harry but when it comes down to his own daughter (his only child mind you) he does not hesitate to say no. My dad claimed that for a business like this he would have to put down over $70,000......Bulls!t! thats a little more than the typical 20%, isnt it?? Then my dad has the nerve to say to my mom, "what did i say that was wrong??" the fact that you breathe is what is wrong in this picture.......

My husband really wants to start this business, with or without my dad. We dont have anything for down payment money, but he wants to try and talk to either my grandpa or an uncle that might help us. If nothing else, it will embarass the hell out of my dad if people find out that he wouldnt or couldnt help us. My dad likes to talk big and let everyone else think that he is a wealthy SOB, well, the SOB part is right, its the rest that is stretching the truth....I know that my husband will be successful if he was just given a chance, he has so much determination that i dont think he would ever let himself fail.

Im sorry to all of you that read this thinking it was going to be interesting, but its something that is frustrating the hell out of me and i needed to get off my chest. I knew my dad would probably pull something like this, but i just hate to see the dissapointment in my husband's eyes, thinking he had someone in his corner.

Thanks for letting me ramble, feel better now!

[gimygirl 0]

if he's always been a sh!tty father ... why would your expectations for him change now? a leopard does not change their spots.

Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations.

~Leo Buscaglia~

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

My husband really wants to start this business, with or without my dad.

Find other investors.

You really have no right to call your father a sh!tty father for this reason (for other reasons, maybe). Buying a business is an investment and if he's not comfortable making it, that oughta be just fine. Never count on one person to be your sole investor. Chalk that up in lessons learned.

[m_and_m20 0]

if he's always been a sh!tty father ... why would your expectations for him change now? a leopard does not change their spots.

Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations.

~Leo Buscaglia~

I should have learned my lesson years ago, but who wouldnt want to think that their parents could change?? He has highs and lows, sometimes, he can actually be a decent guy......just not when i actually need him.

My husband really wants to start this business, with or without my dad.

Find other investors.

You really have no right to call your father a sh!tty father for this reason (for other reasons, maybe). Buying a business is an investment and if he's not comfortable making it, that oughta be just fine. Never count on one person to be your sole investor. Chalk that up in lessons learned.

Oh, beleive me, i have many reasons to call him sh!tty, I dont know how many nights ive gone to bed crying because of some idiotic thing he said or did about me. this is just the latest.

[gimygirl 0]

you've already admitted that your father thought this would be in the $50K range while your husband went and looked at $200K investments. that may not have been very fair to him to let him in on exactly what your husband was looking for!

maybe he should work in another shop until you both have enough for a down payment. it will be much more satisfying in the long run.

just a question to throw out there .... did you and your husband need a co-sponsor when he immigrated to america??

[m_and_m20 0]

you've already admitted that your father thought this would be in the $50K range while your husband went and looked at $200K investments. that may not have been very fair to him to let him in on exactly what your husband was looking for!

maybe he should work in another shop until you both have enough for a down payment. it will be much more satisfying in the long run.

just a question to throw out there .... did you and your husband need a co-sponsor when he immigrated to america??

Ok, i will throw out a recent example.....There was another business that was for sale in the $150k range, they looked at it and liked it, only to find out the $150K was just the business, the land was $200k, so total of $350k. immediately my dad said no and that was way too high...fine, my husband agreed and they moved on.

The guy who owns the garage that my husband is working at is also interested in selling his business. asking price $400k....what does my dad say...."offer him $300k and see if he'll take that".....my dad runs hot and cold all the time! what comes out of his mouth today will not be the same tomorrow.

As far as the joint sponsor, my mom and dad did for his K3, they didnt make enough but had enough in assets....only to have that not be accepted. So my dad's attorney (who filled out his paperwork) became my husbands joint sponsor. But for the AOS process, we made enough ourselves and didnt need a joint sponsor. why?

[faith 0]

Have you asked the guy at the garage where your hubby works if he'd be interested in selling to you two as a "contract for deed" type of deal? My brother bought his business that way. He pays the lady he bought it from a certain amount each month as payments on the loan. Basically she's financing it for him as he could not get a loan to buy it. He has 2 years from the date of purchase to get other financing or pay the "balloon" payment of the balance.

[CarolineM 0]

Sorry you're having a rough time...hang in there