Advice for Sponsor of Abusive Wife Denied AOS

[SanDiegoParakram 1]

My immigrant wife is abusive. I'm am working on divorce papers, but need some information, advice. I guess I'm asking if I'm missing anything as I move forward. Below is a quick timeline.

 

May 2019 - Immigrant wife arrives k-1 visa. We marry, she becomes abusive.

July 2019 - I submitted her AOS, I-485, I-765, I-131, I-864.

September 2019 - She is arrested for domestic violence. I have to go to ER. I do not press charges. I move out for my safety. 

November 2019 - She receives employment authorization, travel document.

December 2019 - Realize marriage will not improve, and I need to take steps to protect myself.

January 2020 -  I successfully withdraw my Affidavit of Support. Her I-485 is denied. 

February 2020 - She files Order or Protection (Stay Away) against me. Court hearing in May. Locks me out of the house. It is baseless. I haven't seen her since September but access house periodically. We have emailed about dissolving marriage, though stressful stuff, all communications have been cordial.

 

I want to move on ASAP, but we need  settle 1) divorce, and 2) joint-owned real estate. I don't care if she's able to stays in the USA, but I'm not sure what options are available to her. I thought she might self-petition for VAWA, thus her Order of Protection. However, from what I read, there needs to be compelling evidence. There is nil. Maybe she's just buying time?

 

Since we no longer communicate, I don't know what she's up planning. She's in the house. I have been sleeping on couches for 5 months, so the sooner this resolves the better. 

 

Can she stay? When she was denied AOS, what options does USCIS present to her? Is there anything else I should be doing to protect myself?

 

Thanks. This forum has been a wealth of information and extremely helpful. 

[Crazy Cat 41,903]

Find a good divorce attorney, Divorce her,  and seek happiness for yourself.  Her future is her concern....not your concern....Move on....

 

Don't worry about her immigration options....

Edited March 21, 2020 by Lucky Cat

[Crazy Cat 41,903]

BTW, when her I-485 was denied, you were off the hook for her support (I-864).

[SanDiegoParakram 1]

@Lucky Cat  As soon as we settle 1) divorce, and 2) joint-owned real estate, I can and will take your advice. Until then, I'm seeking information so i know what to expect in the next few months, and what complications may arise. Thanks. 

[Crazy Cat 41,903]

I see no immigration issues for you.

[Just Paul 4,595]

3 minutes ago, SanDiegoParakram said:

@Lucky Cat  As soon as we settle 1) divorce, and 2) joint-owned real estate, I can and will take your advice. Until then, I'm seeking information so i know what to expect in the next few months, and what complications may arise. Thanks. 

You've pretty much summarized it.   Get divorced.  

 

What joint assets do you have from the 9 months or so together?  I would think after September you wouldn't do that with her.  Let the divorce attorney sort that out.

 

Can she stay?  Can she file VAWA?  None of that is in your hands.   Can you have her deported?  No.

[Boiler 45,558]

I am going to go with everybody else, this is a Divorce issue, her Immigration situation is her problem.

 

She will be setting up a VAWA case, the requirements are pretty low but there is nothing you effectively can do about it.

[African Zealot 1,455]

That was a quick turnaround from arrival to abuse and divorce and filing of a protective order. Some of these immigrants are ruthless, they have the playbook down pat 😝.

 

Unlike most people who say move on with your life because you will not be interviewed for her VAWA petition, I belong to the group that says without becoming obsessed with screwing her over, do what you can to jeopardize her case. Such a calculating malicious person (if true) is not the immigrant profile we want.

 

In your case that means not missing court, representing yourself properly, credibly and professionally so that her petition could possibly be thrown out for frivolity. That definitely deals a blow (not automatically fatal) to her VAWA case.

 

The flip side of this current administrations relatively anti-immigrant position is that approval rates for VAWA are declining. Approvals are no longer being handed out like confetti.

 

That said do not expend unnecessary and disproportionate energy and effort on her.

 

 

Edited March 21, 2020 by Ray.Bonaquist

[laylalex 7,289]

I'm going to disagree with Ray here and put myself firmly in the divorce and move on camp. The faster the poison is drawn from your life the better. My separation and divorce dragged on for years due to property issues. It wasn't pleasant and the delays had nothing to do with me and everything to do with my abusive immigrant ex-husband. Sure I protected myself legally but I didn't drag it out. I wasn't a jerk. I was able to respect myself while not rolling over. We had significant property and asset division issues too. 

 

Now we weren't dealing with VAWA of course. But making things difficult takes an emotional and financial toll. Protect yourself and your assets, divorce and move on. Her sorry, messed up life is all on her, not you from now on. 

[Boiler 45,558]

If there has been any significant change in VAWA approval rates I certainly have not seen anything to support that assertion.

 

Does not really matter how a normal divorce goes, an annulment may complicate but not preclude VAWA, but they are as rare as hens teeth.

[SanDiegoParakram 1]

Thanks all for chiming in. I don't care about her VAWA case if she makes one. I am going to contest the Order of Protection on its merits. What effect that has on VAWA is none of my concern. I guess that puts me more in Ray's camp, thanks Ray. What I will say is divorce-and-move-on is not mutually exclusive of knowing what to expect, and that's still what I'm trying to accomplish with this thread.

 

Question. If she received a employment authorization, and then is denied AOS, can she still work?

 

The VAWA stats are available up to 2018. Like all immigration categories, the major change is processing times. Pending cases have more than tripled since 2015.

Edited March 21, 2020 by SanDiegoParakram

[Villanelle 4,122]

I kind of agree with both perspectives above. You do want to put your main focus on divorcing and moving on- You also MUST appear in court for the protection order hearing and present your side of things. If you do not appear an order will most likely be granted and you do not want that! A permanent order will stay with you and haunt you for the rest of your life. Its unfortunate that you decline to press charges for the previous incident (and Im assuming they did not move forward with out you?- but if they did move forward I would encourage you to participate- when someone commits a crime they should be tried and if guilty punished. I personally take the position that as a victim or witness to a case you have a duty to participate and tell the truth. Courts will rule on guilt or innocence- thats not up to you and its not your concern what the outcome is. All you need to do is tell the truth and any consequences the perpetrator may suffer as a result of a guilty verdict is not because YOU did this to them but because they did it to themselves.)

 

You may want to consider hiring an attny for the protection order hearing as there are pro bono services for victims applying for protection orders. So she may have an attny. Or you can go with out one and if she does have one you can ask for it to be delayed so you too can get an attny. Do not try to face her attny on your own. Unfortunately you probably will not be able to get pro bono services for defending against a protection order. You also want to obtain the statement she made to secure the temp order. If you have an attny they should know this and do such (or if you are going to attempt to represent yourself). Most people do not know they are entitled to this paperwork with her statement. The court clerk wont tell you or offer it to you. You have to understand some people do abuse the system but the system is designed for victims and you are the alleged abuser in this. 

 

Anyway when someone applies for a temp protection order they fill out some paperwork. It includes a written statement on why they need this order. It is given to a judge who reviews it and does a quick hearing with the applicant. Usually the judge will approve the temp order to ensure the safety of the victim and then a hearing is set where both sides are present and its determined if a permanent order will be enacted or not. You want to get her statement. (probably a few dollars in copy fees from the clerk) Her statement should detail a specific incident she is claiming occurred in order to get the temp order. You cant just go down and say I was abused give me a temp order. You must provide specific details so find out what her statement says happened and see how you may be able to disprove it. Those who dont obtain this statement are always thrown off at the hearing because the judge is going through things about this 'incident' and they have no idea what is being referred to. Usually the pretend victim will take a fight or issue that actually did occur and embellish it. 

 

As to her potential VAWA or immigration issues as stated already it is none of your concern. You do need to be concerned though that she may be attempting to do a VAWA case and may not understand what is needed for such. Specifically VAWA cases do NOT require police reports or restraining orders but many are under the assumption that they do. Its obviously much easier for one to obtain VAWA with a police report where there was a DV incident. She may be getting bad advice from 'friends' encouraging her to get police/court documents . So there is a high risk of her fabricating a DV assault so she has the paperwork she thinks she needs. Do NOT ever be alone with her. I can not stress this enough. I understand you are getting a divorce but as long as you are still legally married on paper if you are alone with her and she injures herself and calls the cops and claims you did it you will be charged with DV whereas after the divorce you are just two individuals so its not DV. 

 

Regarding the divorce- divorce courts do not care about immigration status. There is no aff of support so thats good, if there was it could be used against you. In most states if one of the spouses are claiming abuse the court can award them more. So if abuse is claimed by her in the divorce you will want to fight it. Partly because a finding of abuse by you in the divorce would help her obtain immigration benefits she is not entitled to, but mostly because it would be a false finding and it would most likely cause the settlement to be more in her favor. 

 

If you are still in the home with her you need to get out. I understand that can be hard and costly and a huge inconvenience but there are just too many reasons why you should not be in the home with her. She has been abusive to you before. You ended up in the ER last time- do not let there be a next time. 

[Boiler 45,558]

From what I have been told by friends the protection order is often part of the first salvo in divorce proceedings anyway, so she may well have a Lawyer advising her. I agree you do not want to appear without representation and your Divorce Lawyer should be able to give you good guidance.

 

None of us of course knows what she is thinking, but certainly sounds like she is contemplating VAWA, nothing you have said suggests she is planning to go home. 

[SanDiegoParakram 1]

Thanks Villanelle. I have the statement from the order of protection. There's very little it in. It alleges harassment, and I have all our communication (email, texts) so an independent person could read and make a judgement as to its merits. Since moving out, I have not even picked up the phone when she calls so there's no he said, she said. It's all in the written communications. I've had a couple consultations with attorneys who handle false orders of protections. 

 

That's interesting about DV while married as opposed to after. I've never heard that. As I said, I'm out of the home. I'm staying away for my safety, not contacting her. You're right, thanks. Hope to file for divorce in the next two weeks. But the courts are a mess with the virus response and I am still discussing this with lawyers. 

[Villanelle 4,122]

When you say you have the statement from the order of protection and there is little in it- are you referring to the paperwork you got when they gave you notice that a temp order was given? If so that is NOT what I am talking about. I am referring to documents you can only get from the court clerk. They will not give them you unless you ask and if you dont ask you will never just be given them.  You are entitled to a copy of both the 'application' and the 'affidavit' she filled out when she applied for it. Im not sure what state you are in- some states have DV protection orders and also have harassment protection orders. Depending on the state and the type of order she applied for the paperwork will vary but generally speaking they all require her to give an affidavit or declaration of some sort and to provide specific details about an incident.  It can be brief but it must be specific.  

 

Also it is possible for a former spouse to be charged under DV. I can see by how I wrote it why it came across that way. I just meant once you are divorced and are living separate lives as 2 different people she would not (realistically) be able to fake an injury and claim you caused it. Married but separated with divorce pending is a relationship. Im not sure if that makes more sense though...