How do you decide if putting your child first

[Girona40 0]

Rebecca, I have only just seen your post and just wanted to say, having two 17 year olds and a 24 year old, that they will be happy with whatever decision you and Wes make, because there are more important things than the style of roof over your head. There is the warmth of a loving, humorous, caring, understanding family. I am sure if your son has learned anything from you it will be just that.

My daughter wasn't sure about moving from England to the US, but she knew that whatever happened I would only ever want her to be happy and would ensure that she was. We went through a few teary days, but when we talk about it now she tells me that it was all for the best and she loves where we are now and how her life has changed for the better.

There is nothing worse than a Mom stressed and worried over financial matters. If that stress can be taken away from you - go ahead and do it. It will benefit everyone in the end.

I don't know about the "family" house though. I have a friend that just moved into his deceased grandmother's house and the entire family seems to feel they have a say in everything that now goes on in the house - it would drive me crazy! I don't know your family, obviously, but I just have a gut feeling this would be risky.

All a bit long-winded, that's me! I guess what I am trying to say is that you have taught your son to be loving and respectful and to know that you would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. This is something that you should not feel guilty about - you are a good Mom and doing it for all the right reasons.

As for your son going to college - there are scholarships that he may well get or he may be able to get financing himself when the time comes. My son's girlfriend is paying off her college loan (which was a horrendous amount, I might add) but it never occured to her that her parents should pay for her college because they simply couldn't afford it. She has never blamed them for that. And..........she didn't live with them for 4 years while she was taking her degree either.

I think you are right to think about it for a while. You have also "planted the seed" now in his mind and I am sure, over the following weeks, you will see him warm to the idea and see that it makes sense.

Good Luck!

Hugs

Glenys

[IAMSADIA 0]

A house is only a house,a home is where your heart grows. as long as u got a roof and a table to share your meals with your son and family with thats the main thing.

anyone can adjust to shifting as long as u got each other .

your a great mom! Iv'e lived in mobile homes and houses all my life went from one to the other.

the only difference to me was that I was happy I had friends ,food and clothes.

I think at 18 your son will surely suprise you and be suportive,it's a nice life lesson for him also,,he's about to enter the world on his own shortly,,so just be a good mom like u are and don't sweat the house thingy.

God bless

Sadia